Loves it/Hates it

some things that I love and hate

Love - Gwen Stefani's Love Angel Music Baby CD, I LOVE every single song on this CD except mabye one, but it totally rocks and it's so different from anything else out there that you can't help but sing along with it. My particular favorite is the song that's sort of like a cheerleader chant and they get singing that "the shit is bananna B.A.N.A.N.A.S" (spelled out) and no I can't think of the name of the song but anyways it's so off the wall I am diggin it. Definetely check this one out.

Hate - Good Charlote or Simple Plan - words cannot express my dislike for these bands, they are so cheesey and fake and I can't stand there music or their music videos. They could not be any further from grunge/alternative rock and they are trying so hard to be like Green Day it makes me want to vomit. There's no comparision, get over it and stop playing there damn retarded songs on the radio. Why people like these guys???? I do not know and I don't get it but they are well over done and they need to go away like now.

Love - I'm really into everything pink right now, which is weird for me because like 2 years ago I hated pink and I would not be caught dead in it but now.......it's a whole new world for me and I'm in pink heaven! Pink shoes, pink purses, pink pants.....you name it I want it or I already have it.

Hate - I really hate the pants I have on today, I have had them for probably my entire career as an "administrative assistant" which is about 31/2 years and i'm not exactly the same size I was at that time, so they are too tight, I hate the cut of the pants and they ride up past my belly button (which I REALLY hate in any kind of pant). So now i'm sitting here just itching (quite litterally too) to get home and get these mofo's off and into some pj's. I sooooo need to go shopping for new pants but i'm poor and it's not going to happen anytime soon, espically if I may be without a job in 2wks or a month, so i'm screwed and I have to wear these "CUTE" pants, and yes I am being sarcastic.

Love - The new show the "Medium" with Patricia Arquette. I am into anything about ghosts, psychic's, parnormal, etc and this show falls right into that category. She's a full time mom, who has known that she can detect things about people and she just knows things, and basically it started with her admitting to her self & her employer that she has psychic power/abilities. So now she works in a DA office and helps them solve crimes and all that good stuff, overall it's a good show and i'm into it. Anything over reality t.v. right now.

Hate - Reality T.V. Now I used to be a HUGE reality T.V. addict but lately these shows are just getting nasty. Have you seen or heard about the show called "Whose your Daddy" I forget what network was going to run this (probably FOX, if you ask me) but anyways the show was based on this girl who had been adopted and she was supposed to try and pick her dad out of like a group of twenty men. Hello???? Do you people not have any frickin morales or decencey. First of all I would not allow people into my private life like that let alone having it all documented for T.V. just wrong and it's a new low and it's a surefire sign for me that reality t.v. just needs to be laid to rest (except for mabye the Amazing race, that's the only good one left....)

Loves it - going to the gym (which is a local CURVES chain), and no I don't love doing the workout but I love going and making fun of some of the other women on the circuit. I always tee hee to myself and sometimes I even want to break out in hysterical laughter. This is so wrong on many levels but I totally find it amusing. For instance there is this one lady whom I happen to know as she lives just up and over the hill from me her name is "Bertha" that's funny enough in it's own right but this women does some pretty weird/funky things on her block in between machines. She usually starts out pretty mild, doing some basic stepping/jogging but then she breaks into her little tap dance shuffle, then she starts flailing her arms around and then she breaks right out and starts doing scissor kicks while touching her toes, by this point I am dying inside and I am finding it extremely difficult to keep a stright face. This probably isn't doing her justice I guess you would have to see her to fully appreciate this but I get such a laugh and high off of this that I love it!

Hate it - When I go to the gym and lo and behold they are playing their Christian music. Now i'm not an anti-christian or against religion or anything but then again i'm not a very religious person, but when I go to the gym wanting to work out and work hard and lose the 10 pounds off my ass I sure as hell don't want to be working out to "Our God is an awsome god" with a hundred and ten beats a minute. It's just wrong and I wish they would burn/break the stupid CD.

Loves it - McDonald's Quarter pounder combo. I have been sooooo addicted to McDonald's the last few months it's scary and it's no wonder I have put on 10 pounds and my pants are tight. But everytime I drive out by that place or i'm anywhere's near it I get that wiff of grease and i'm drooling and no sooner do I look but i've gone through the drive thru and i'm scarfing it down. I even know what day each McDeal is and you bet your fur I know when it's Quarter pounder day....every Thursday I feel the pull only this week I am vowing to myself no more :( So now I can just dream and think of the wonderful taste of grease melting in my mouth

Hates it - I hate what all this bad food does to your body. Must be gods form of punishment or something but its just wrong. We should be able to eat what we want, when we want but it doesn't work this way. When I eat french fries I may as well be applying them directly to my lower abs, ass and thighs. Like any other typical women this is my problem area and I hate it and no matter how hard i try not to snack, eat out, whatever it still remains there. Just evil and I hate even typing about it. My weight is constantly on my mind and I know it's crazy and it's all because of the media and stupid models. I shouldn't give a rats ass, but I do because I can feel the fat rolls there and they need to go

Loves it - Sarah Jessica Parker's GAP commercials. I don't really know why for sure but I get great amusement and enjoyment out of these. Whoever came up with the concept/layout colours whatever they are doing there job and deserve a raise. It doesn't come across as another celeb who has sold out for a big paycheck and it's just a fun carefree commercial for GAP.

Hates it - When Celebs/singers sell out to big corporate companies aghhmmm Destiny's Child, Ashanti and it's soooooo plainly obvious as there song is blaring in the background of the commercial. This really ticks me off and irritates me this is also part of the reason why I am now trying (very hard I might add) to boycot McDonald's. Don't sell out pps it's not worth it, well mabye it might be but really you are hurting yourself in the long run.

That's about all I can sum up right now & I need to get my ass back into my work. Take care all & see you another day!!

Monday, Monday

Oh how I hate Mondays, let alone trying to get my ass into work, into the gym, into the weekly routine that is my week. Sigh ~ does life ever get any better? Or does it just seem to float along on the same wheel week after week. I often feel like a guinea pig running on their wheel in their cage, just running and running and not getting anywhere's. This seems to be my life at the moment. Work is just going and i'm sitting on nerves end anxiousily awaiting the day when my supervisor takes me aside and says "oh by the way your no longer needed here and you'll be done in 2 weeks" so i'm a bloody nervous wreck everytime she comes near me. My love life is "ok" on most days but lately we haven't been commuicating and were arguing most times about a "baby" or "money" and our latest battle has been about his fam dam.

My husband's grandparents both passed away last year (his grandmother only a month ago) and his entire family is just like a bunch of sharks swarming in the water. I will spare you all the details & i'm not 100% comfortable spilling all that here and I really don't want him yelling at me about this too so i'll give you the PG version. Anyways, his grandparents were well off for our little community, they started up their own business and did very well and this business is still up & running today only not in Meductic. So not only did they have money but they have tons of nice, expensive things. Now my hubby really didn't/doesn't care what happens to most of the stuff and thank god is all i can say because i want nothing to do with it either. But it just so happens that one of the things that his grandfather promissed him and was supposed to be his has been snatched up right under his nose and he's shit out of luck. Now, I have never really seen my husband fully mad and let me tell you friday night I thought I had the Hulk in my house. He was FURIOUS and he was cursing (which he never does, I do that enough for both of us....), yelling, wanting to punch something (thankfully not me, that's really not that funny but it kinda was at the time I started writing it) and I just didn't know what to say to him. I think he was more hurt that this person went against his grandfather's wishes and he was seriousily upset and on the verge of crying until I kinda made fun of him and told him to get over it (god i'm such an evil, spiteful bitch aren't i??). So i'm still currently living with the Hulk as he's still majorly pissed and in a pissey mood and I still don't know what to say to him. So that was pretty much my weekend, doesn't sound great huh.

Then on top of that all of our local weather networks, etc were calling for this HUGE mofo storm and I get all excited thinking to myself hey this is great if it storms all day Sunday & Monday morning there won't be any work........only to wake up Sunday to a few piddly flurries and some wind.....where is the snow??? I'll tell you where ~ it's all in freaking Nova Scotia you lucky BASTARDS. Well mabye not but I was a little peeved at you all this AM as I got up and got ready for work and a typical Monday morning. At least the day is pretty much over and I only have like 2 hrs to go and then my work part of Monday is over........at leat until next week

just some random thoughts of mine

these are some things that have been running through my mind lately.....

about my whole missing pill thing....i still don't know where the fuck it went too but now i'm feeling really bad about accusing my hubby about taking it. You see I tend to have an over reactive imgination (as I watch waaayyyy to much t.v) and now i'm getting slack from my fam dam (family) and i just feel bad. So I apologize, and he's not really that big of an ass i've just gone off my rocker that's all.......

I have Lindsay Lohan's new song "Over" stuck in my head. Only to make matters worse I recently purchase her CD (not that great, but not all that bad either...) so i've been hitting repeat over, and over and over.......

I just picked a hang nail and now i'm bleeding all over my keyboard....lovely

In case you haven't already noticed i have a messed up/fucked up sense of humour

I often will talk out loud to myself and i think I am starting to scare my co-workers

My family is a lot like the "Griswald's", you know like the movie from back in the 80's ~ Chevy Chase, the weird cousin.....anyways, we recently all got together for my aunt's b-day and we were all piled in the van (7 of us) only to meet up with another 2 family members. The poor guy at the restaurant didn't know what the hell to make of all of us.

I so need to get my eyebrows waxed or plucked as they are super bushey and they are really starting to gross me out, I just can never get the patience or neve up to do them myself

WTF is up with American Idol this year they are just showing all the bad people who can't sing, and it's just embarssing. As soon as they hear that the person cannot sing they should just speak up and say "ok that's enough" and no you don't get a ticket. Instead they are dragging this out and showing mabye 1 or 2 good people. This is irritating the shit out of me and i'm refusing to watch it until they get to the next stage.

I'm pissed off at work today, i'm left out again today as all the "ADMIN" staff are in a metting to discuss issues etc. concering our merger of 2 departments. So I get left out & left behind to deal with clients from both departments who walk in or call in and the phone has been none stop, needless to say i'm NOT happy and i'm not impressed. I'm getting sick of being used as I am trained for both dept's where i'm "casual" and if debbie was left behind with all this shit it just WOULDN'T happen. I need to start sticking up for myself.....starting now!

I seem to be in my own little world lately, not sure what's going on mabye I need to go back on my medication for my anxiety. This could be why i forgot my pill.... as I seam to be forgetting a lot of things lately and people will tell me something and I will totally not be listening. Mabye I have ADD

I am Frickin FROZEN today it's like minus 35 below with the wind chill and i'm not looking forward to getting groceries and loading up the car.

This post has taken me almost an hour to type as I am constantly being interupted by the phone or by client's, mabye that's a sign that i've typed enough for today.....

Anyways, take care all have a GREAT weekend, and thank god, Thank GOD it's Friday as I don't think I can possibly take any more. Only half a day to go ~ WHOOOO HOOOOOO

10 Things that I have done today

I'm steeling this idea from another blog by Kiss Me i'm Italian whose blog is appropreately 10thingsIdidtoday (at least along that lines anyways) and you can type in & go to his site cause I don't know how to set up a link from here....sorry all you lazy bums!

Anyways here goes........

1.) I threw a "Heather" tantrum first thing this morning when I couldn't get my car un-plugged. You see it's sooooo damn cold here right now that I have to plug my car in every night just so my car won't freeze up, and when I wen't to un-plug it this morning the stuipid thing was frozen (my car at least started) so I couldn't get it apart and I had forgotten to put gloves on.....and yeah, you get the picture. So I screamed and pulled really really hard and practically ripped the cord out from the inside of my car but it carme apart MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

2.) On my way to work this morning I had one of my drives where I arrive at work and I didn't remember actually driving here, I was like "hey i'm here already, but how?" Totally blanked out. Scary

3.) I've felt like telling clients to "Fuck off" all day (excuse my language pps)

4.) I've been told off by a senior client of ours. He literally wen't up one side of me and down the other, and i'm missing a big chunk off of my backside.

5.) I am sticking to my regin of going to the gym 3 days a week, so today was workout #2

6.) The only downside to #5 is that I felt that I had worked out so hard that I deserved a treat and I was soon going thru the McDonald's take out window........

7.) The phone here is totally pissing me off today, every 5 seconds the damn thing is ringing and I quite litterally am ready to throw it somewhere's or at someone. Mabye I will check with my maintenance and see if I can locate a hammer........

8.) I had a fellow co-worker tear a chunk out of me over not having the same frickin phone number, so along with chunk #1 that was ripped off of me I should now be at least 10 pounds lighter.

9.) After listening intently/carefully while co-worker bitched me out I proceeded to say "it's only a phone number and it's not really that big of a deal" only to be stared at like I had 5 heads.

10.) My supervisor wants me to track what kinda calls we get on a daily basis from our clients. I have got about as far as to a title of what my list is called.....not going so well

My Pill's Magic Trick

I honestly think that I am beginning to lose my freaking mind. Last week was a very hard and long week and yes I may have been a tad overtired but this is a new low for even me. You see like any 24 year old female out there i'm on the birth control pill, I am married but there is no WAY in HELL that i'm prepared or even ready to consider having a child.....anyways that's a whole other story.

So every morning I wake up, turn on my shower and take my pill. Friday morning my husband says to me "why did you take a pill out of next weeks row and why in the middle?". I think to myself wtf (what the fuck) are u talking about and sure enough I look at my pills and next Wendesday's pill is missing. And for the life of me I do not recall taking this pill I always take them in order and I don't know what the fuck happened to it. So then my mind takes to racing (and this is before Sunday nights eposode of Desperate Housewives....strange) that mabye my husband popped it out of it's package like "whoops" and it falls to the floor only to be swept away. This is totally wrong of me to think this but he's sooooo been on the baby wagon lately that I wouldn't put it entirely past him. So last night I asked him "did you take my pill" and he's like you honestly think I would do something like that? and i'm like well did you and he's like no I swear on my dead grandparents and I still don't entirely belive him!!! And then he's like well mabye the cat knocked them off???? Like that would happen, yeah the cat is eating my birth control pills through the packaging and he managed to pop it out without doing any damage to the pkg. Yeah right.

So i'm losing my mind and I must have taken 2 pills but I don't REMEMBER and it's not something that I see myself doing and I don't know where the hell it is so now i'm probably going to get pregant and yeah, just fucking great!!!!!!!!!!! Guess my hubby won't be getting any nookie this week.......he he i'm sooooo evil!!

I'm on Fire!

well not tecnically but my lips are! Have you ever seen the Asprin commercial where the lady is franticly typing away on her computer and smoke starts rising from her wrists.....anyways long story short another lady comes in and says what's wrong "becky" and becky is like "My Wrists are on Fire" just the way she says it always makes me tee hee to myself so this is me today only it's my damn chapped lips and not my wrists (yet anyways). They are on fire and i'm in desperate need of some chap stick. To make it worse I can't stop licking the stupid things. And they are really starting to burn......can't wait another half and hour to go for my lunch to buy some lip balm.

Oh boy i'm having such a crazy/hectic day today my head hasn't had time to stop until now and things are finally kinda quite. Were into our new location and i'm still not liking it a whole lot but it'll take awhile to get used to everything.

What else is new.....hmm had to come into work on Saturday to help un-pack the files that was a lotta fun (please note that there's a hint of sarcasim here), I didn't really have to but I kinda felt like I should to at least try and make a good impression. So I was here at the office from like 11-5:30 PM didn't get home until around 6 only to find out that all of my friends & hubby were over at our camp drinking & partying it up at 6:00 PM mind you. So I grabbed somethin to eat and headed over only to find pretty much everyone half in the bag already and me with nothing to drink not that I really wanted to anyways so it wasn't really that much fun until we got playing this card game called queens?? i think anyways it was pretty interesting & good just to get out & be with friends.

Well I should get back to un-packing but I really, really don't want too. Dammit I can't stop licking my lips, I think they are on the verge of bleeding now, I look totally disgusting & grose! They are flacking and peeling and ugghhh yuck I need fucking lip balm!!!

Talk later :0)

All By Myself...Don't wanna Be All By Myself

They have all left me and i'm all alone, sitting here amongest boxes and empty walls, couldn't possibly be any creapier and i'm kinda pissed that they have all upted and left me here alone. What if some wacko comes in with a gun or something and here I sit pretty much with a pen and a payment stamp only as everthing else is packed away, what the hell would I do. So considerate of them. Mabye I could attack this person with my phone....hmmm that's reassuring.

I want this move to be DONE and over with, i'm constantly being left out of everthing that "the full time staff" discusses and packs and I don't even get to put my damn name on the stuff that is going to be my work area. I'm the invisible "casual" employee and I don't matter. I swear when I got here yesterday morning I felt like blatting. If your gonna make me feel like an outsider than what the hell are you keeping me for, I feel un-wanted and un-needed and I need to get another job. Which is really hard because I have been applying and I have been looking but nothing has panned out and i'm extremely frustrated. Sigh ~ thank the lord that it is Friday and that I get to sleept in and do absoltely shit tommorrow. I was so exhausted last night that I had a little power snoooze from like 7:00 til about 8:30, at least I woke up before the O.C. came on I would have not been happy to have missed that. I adore Seth and I need the weekly fix of his humour & he's adorable and way cuter than Ryan.

Well i'm not sure what the hell i'm doing here today or what I should be doing, everthing is pretty much packed, except for the things that I am using today so I guess i'm just gonna have to play on the internet to keep myself amused. Good day to surf through other blogs purhaps. Well i'm out for now, Have a Great Weekend all and i'll see ya's soon :)

~h~

DA Da Che ~ DA da Chum

this is a quote of sorts from one of my favorite Stephen King novels dun dun dun.....
The Dark Tower Series, I believe it's from the Drawing of the Three (Book #2 I think i'm not at home and i can't go run and look at my books....) so if i'm wrong get over it :) no just kidding I do apologize. Anyways this phrase has been running though my brain for the last 2 days and i'm not really sure why but I guess my sub-conscious must like it for some reason or another. I loved all of the novels from the Dark Tower series and i'm still having difficulty or I should say acceptance that it is finally over. I didn't really like the ending of the final book and I won't ruin it for anyone who hasn't read it yet but it's very dissapointing.

Some of my other favorites of his are:

IT - this is probably my favorite of all but it's so hard to just pick one. I love all of the chacters in this book and everytime I read it I always cry when Eddie dies. Even though the front cover with the clown on it gives me horrible nightmares and creeps me out everytime I see it I have to at least read this book once or twice a year. I even wen't so far as to go on amazon.ca to purchase the old TV movie that they did back in the early 90's that's how much I loved this book.

The Stand - again I LOVE this book and everyone in it. The guy with the guitar (Larry??) can't remember been awhile since I last read it is probably my favorite, over Stu even. The good versus bad thing is just really cool and the whole plague thing is tre creepy. When I first read this book it was in the winter time and everyone around me was getting sick and I was sure it was Captin Trips.

Insomnia - I first tried to read this when I was probably 16 or younger and I just could not get into the book so I gave up. Several years later (last summer) I thought well I might as well try this again....and I was instantly pulled in and I could not put it down. It also ties in with the Dark Tower series which of course I already stated I enjoy.

and last but not least:

The Talisman and The Black house - these were amazing books and I loved Jack, and wolf and they once again are connected somehow or another to the Dark Tower. I first read the talisman when I was farily young and I didn't full grasp it and then when Black house came out I read it and I could barely remember what had happened in the Talisamna so I re-read it and I got it this time around. Truly a good read and a really great story.

Well that's all for now, it's super crazy here at work, it's starting to get empty and bare and it's very werid. I'm amazed that I was even able to get here at all today to post. I'm extremely bitchy today and people are royally pissing me the fuck off, the phone keeps ringing and I'm getting the dumbest people ever coming thru the doors. GRRRRRRRR I could just fucking scream!!! but I won't ~ ha ha

Ta Ta for now ~h~

Taping and Packing and Filing OH My!

tee hee I have done way too much work today for my own good....i've done so much filing and packing and i just can't do any more today. My eyes are quite literally burning right out of my head.....i've got this extreme sharp shooting pain in the corner of my right eye and it's now starting to hurt when I blink....is this normal??? like what the fuck is this shit!

oh boy is it time to go home yet....unfortunately NO

What to do I should be doing something so that I won't have to do it tommorrow but I couldn't give a rats ass at this moment in time.....i'm just so anxious to get home, have supper, watch some mindless TV and pass the time until LOST comes on at 9:00 ~Squeels quietly to self~ can't wait for tonight's eposide i'm sure it will be a good one.

God i'm so tired right now I can barely sit up straight in my chair & i have to pee really bad and yeah you really didn't need to know that one but i seem to be typing things as they are poping into my brain. I'll probably have sick and twisted nightmares about flying files and packing tape.....i seriousily hate packing tape the stupid piece of crap always gets all twisted and sticks to everything, then when you cut it off you can never find that start of the tape again! Oh the Frustration!!!! Why the hell am I sitting here typing about packing tape how boring and dull can that possibly be, god I have such a wonderful life.......

Ch..Cha....Changes

I'm not big on BIG changes, my mind cannot seem to cope with change and I don't handle it very well. My office is moving (finally) we've only been in the process of it for 11/2 years (pretty much since I was first hired on as a summer casual position to provide cover off while everyone else was on vacation). I can't belive that come this May I will have been with this department for 2 years and i'm still only a "casual", mind you I work the full time hours and get all the great benefits but i'm still a "casual".

I'm getting off track a little bit here but I need to get this off of my chest, i'm getting extremely irritated/frustrated about the whole "casual" thing. I really like my job on most days, I like all of the people I work with and overall I am happy but my happiness is being threatned or mabye i'm being over paronoid but I just have a gut feeling that my time is running short here. Stupid gov't keeps renewing my contract for another 6 months, now back in October/November my contract ran out yet again and they did renew me much to my surprize, the only stipulation was that they can only keep me as long as the position i'm covering off in stays vacant (i'm giving you the shorter version, as it gets really complicated...) I'm covering off for Debbie and Debbie is covering off for another lady named Susan and if Susan's position gets filled then Susan shifts back down to her regular position and Debbie comes back out front and i'm bummped out of the entire equation. See my stress....

They are in the process now of doing interviews for this postion that has been vacant for 2 years and i'm praying to god, please god do not fill this position or just make everything right and hire Susan to do the job and promote Deb and give me the position I want :). If only things could be this way, it would make my life soooooo much easier and happier.

OK I feel somewhat better getting that off of my chest I have been holding that in for wayyyy to long. Now back to the whole moving thing.......

Were packing, boxing up stuff, throwing old crap out and all that fun stuff but i'm really not having fun and i'm really not looking forward to moving into our new office with our fellow department. I as noted above do not deal well with change. And this new move is going to throw a whole heck of a lot of new "changes" at me in the next few weeks. So i'm dreading the move and i'm even more so dreading next week when we are finally posted at our new office. Sigh~ guess I just gotta deal with it and continue on and keep my chin up but i'm finding it very hard lately, i've been in one of my funky weird moods and I can't seem to snap outt've it. One day I may be ok and then the next I feel like blatting or beating the crap out of something and on top of the weird moods i've been sick to my stomache, headachey, etc, again this comes and goes. I don't know what the hell is up with me but i've gotta come around sometime at least i hope I do.

Not sure if anyone from my family has been here lately or not I feel like such a loser as I have had any comments posted in like FOREVER and I am hoping that were not falling out of touch already :( that would make me very sad. Anyways hope you guys are still out there and check in and leave a post dammit, so that I know what's going on with you too. Take care and i'll be back

~h~

Damn Junk Mail

This about sums up my opion of all the GD junk mail that I tend to receive on a daily basis. I hate these e-mails stating to Pls forward or send to 7 people or you will have an eternity of bad luck....well i'll take the risk thanks! Please stop the madness people do not send these damn things on and in light of this situation please read on (enjoy)

Good Bye to 2004!

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me
your chain letters over the past year. Thank you for making me feel safe,
secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern...

I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the
rat feces and urine.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked
with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually
Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid
number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica ,
Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan .

I no longer eat pre-packaged foods because the estrogens they contain will
turn me gay.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and
leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my
free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their
recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out
for me and St Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward
an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
(Jeeze, the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!)

Thanks to you I have demonstrated that I am a no good un-caring person
because I didn't forward an e-mail message within 5 seconds to 100 people.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about
to die in the hospital(for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the
$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their
special e-mail program.

Also, have no fear for my well being because I have friends in Liberia,
South Africa and Palistine who are the personal secretaries of some deceased
high official who is in charge of smuggling 150,000,000 out of their country
and will share 60% of it with me because I gave them my bank account number.

Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me! I
will now return the favor. If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at 5:00 pm this afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits. I hope I am one of those people who receive it back. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin twice removed.

Have a Happy New Year!!!! And for the love of GOD please stop sending me these stupid e-mails :)

I've got an ASS on my ass

Ok what is wrong with people today that they have to ride an innocent persons rear bumper all the way on my little journey to work (total of 25-30 min). This really pisses me off hence the title of my blog. I often refer to these stupid people as an ass regardless if it is female or male. Now i've been known to have road rage most of the time that I am driving in my car but I never, never resort to the obscene tailgating that I was bound to suffer this morning on my happy little journey into my office.

This morning was a typical New Brunswick winter morning we had snow flurries and freeznig rain over night so the roads were not that wonderful this morning but they were still slippery and when it's slippery I maintain the speed of about 80KM an hour. This stupid ASS in a half ton (they always think that they can drive thru anything because of 4 wheel drive and they are in a half ton....oh sooooo cool oh so special- NOT) road my ass for a good portion of my drive to work and there is no way in hell that i'm pulling over to get off of the road to let you by you stupid ASS!! GRRRR this really pisses me off and when the jackASS finally pulls out to go by me I silently curse the stupid bastard and hope that he runs off of the GD road, good riddance you fucking ASS!!!

Needless to say this was not a great way to start my day and to top it off i'm still not feeling well, I was out yesterday and my fucking head is still killing me. I think I must have a sinus infection as the pain consists around and in behind my eyes (I really just want to dig in and rip the mofo's out) and i have major baggage and dark circles underneath my eyes i'm not that beautiful today but i'm trying to tough it out and get today in and then hopefully get rest and re-couperate over the weekend. Sigh ~ think happy thoughts, happy thoughts.........

this is not working, mabye i'll try immersing myself in work again

ta ta for now have a great weekend

~h~

oh the stupidity

I've recently been pondering some of the extremely stupid, immature off the wall things that my "hubby" does. He may be four years older than me but I believe he stills likes to think of himself as a teenager or worse a child of like 3. Here's a list of some of the things that come to mind at this moment in time:

1.) when my husband gets totally hammered I mean like 3 sheets to the wind kind of drunk he gets really destrustive and devious. Some examples, this one time we were at our local beer store and they had a slushy machine by the front where you pay he reaches over and pulls all of the wires off of the back of the machine, I look at him like what the fuck and he doesn't even realize what he did or who I am. Also another time we were at our local B&G and he pulls the fire extinguisher and there's smoke all over the damn bar and no one can see shit. Yeah this is what I have to put up with. Like where the hell does this come from? My new nickname for him is Jeckyl and Hyde because if you know my husband during the day or when he's not drunk he's nothing like this and he barely says hello to anyone, so not the case when he's drunk, he's loud, mouthy, he swears (worse than me, imagine!), totally weird & so typical him.

2.) Farts, oh my god you think he would soooo be over this by no but no not my husband. He will deliberatly eat certain foods to obtain the most disgusting stench in the whole wide world. His meals of choice: tomato soup, grill cheese, salt and finger chips with ketchup, chocolate milk combine these all together through one day and it's a war zone in my home. I cannot begin to explain the smell it's so grose and reeks of tomato and it's just nasty. He loves it when they stink and he also gets great pleasure if they are loud. I've never seen anyone laugh and tee he like him when it comes to farts.


3.) He has a weird fear of phones. His mother must have done everything for him cause I can never ever get him to answer or call anyone on the phone. He'll be sitting right beside it and won't bother answering it...totally pisses me off.

4.) The man eats like a spoiled little 4-5 year old. His main source of food consists of potatoes, french fries, chicken, chiken nuggets and the occasional hamburger. He eats really bad unhealthy food and does not gain a pound, he's probably skinner and weighs less than me (at the moment that is so true and it makes me hate him a little) and like any typical little kid he loves KETCHUP and it had better be Heinz or you'll never hear the end of it. I litterally buy a huge mofo container of this stuff every week and every week it's gone that's how much he eats ketchup and I never hardly ever use the stuff. I can't get him to try anything new and he detests fruit & vegetables the only fruit I think I have ever seen him eat is an apple.

5.) Christmas - i have touched on this briefly in other posts but the man is a child for the whole month of December. I enjoy the holiday season but he takes it to a whole new level. He lights right up and gets all happy and I can't explain it but it's funny. You can't say anything against christmas and he gets totally offended. He also would totally love me forever if I someday would buy him is very own remote control car from radio shack, in fact he's even gone so far as to say that we should have kids just so he can play with all of the toys and stuff. I can just get the mental picture of a christmas morning of him and my son and it scares me to death, no wonder I don't want to have kids.....

6.) Guns and Roses (the band) - my husband is OBSESSED with this band and he vows/belives that someday axl will come back and it will be like they never left the music world. He has every CD and I bought him the Greatest Hits collection for x-mas (why I don't really know because he's been playing it non-stop). You cannot say anything bad about this band to him or he gets all defensive and mad and god forbid you talk about Velvet Revolver in front of him....that's a whole other can of worms

7.) Talking toys & toys in general (ties in with X-mas but deserves it's own section) - give him a gift certificate to radio shack or toys r us and he would be in heaven. He loves little gimmick things like remote control cars, talking homer dolls dressed up as santa (he bought this one for me for christmas but he really bought it for himself), singing fish you name it he loves it and he'll sit and laugh and laugh til no end.

8.) poop - he is fascinated about poop, I guess this should be in with the farting section but I didn't think of it til now. I mean how and why would you want to share your poop with anyone. This is so childish and so my husband that I just ignore him now when he leaves the bathroom door wide open and keeps calling me to come and "smell" his poop. Umm no I don't want to and i'm never going to want to so get over this please.

Now don't get me wrong I do love my hubby with all of my heart I just felt like making fun of him today and what's wrong with a little picking? He does it to me all the time and I had to vent out somewhere's......well mabye not here but it's a good laugh at least for me. Sorry hun just had to pick on you today :) This also proves my theory that women are the better sex and we are way more mature than men. Well that's about all for today I should try to do something productive this afternoon i'm back at the office that I hate and it has been somewhat busy but nothing really urgent or really anything to do besides the mail. At least the afternoon is going by fast though.

I'm proud of myself today as I am sticking to my new year's resolution that I need to get fit and lose weight ~ I got my 2nd day in at CURVES and I got weighed and measured (even though I really didn't want to know how much weight I had put on..) I've gained like 8-9 pounds since april 2004, the lady was like well you must have put it on slowly....uh huh yeah that's not helping thanks you can go to hell now. So here's to a new year and a new brunette me!!

~h~

huh?

well i'm drawing a blank today. not sure really what I want to talk about and honestly I don't even know why i'm here today. On most days I have a general idea in my head on what I want to write here. I try my best to be funny and I like to think I am but really i'm not. oh well at least i'm being me.

what's new with me ~ not a whole lot actually we had a great time on New Year's everyone got smashed except for me (told you didn't I) but I don't need to be drunk to have a good time. We stayed at our house until about 11:30 then we hit our local bar (the good ol B&G that stands for Bar and Grill) for the count down & the remainder of the evening. We didn't get back to our house until 3:30 am and then we continued to party until everyone passed out or just couldn't take anymore. I didn't come alive until after 12:00 PM the following morning I was so tired and my hubby was not feeling so well :( poor guy just doesn't know when to cut himself off. so I had to look after him most of the day saturday.

Sunday we went four wheeling with another couple and i don't know who had the bright idea but i was so cold I couldn't feel my feet or legs and I was so glad when we got back home. I'm just not cut out for the kinda stuff. Later that night I convinced mom & dad and hubby to go to the movies so we got to take in "meet the fockers" really funny and it's a good laugh I would recommend it to anyone.

that's pretty much my weekend in a nutshell i feel like crap today - think i may be getting a touch of something as I have been sick to my stomache, headachy, etc since sunday night when we got back from the movie. I keep getting the hiccups and i totally feel like i'm going to barf all over my desk. i'm hoping it will go away as I have to hang tough because tonight is my hair appointment! YIPPEE i'm still saying that i'm going to go brown guess will just have to wait and see what tommorrow may bring.

That's it for today ~h

oh before I forget I just want to say a quick CONGRATS to Jill and Mark, he finally proposed and Jilly is sporting a beautiful new diamond ring. So not only did we get to celebrate a new year but we got to have a kinda engagement party for them. To fun and way to go Mark!!! Congrats again ~ love ya both :)

It's Party Time!!

New Year's Eve what could possibly be any better day than this? For me this is my time of year. I love the atmosphere you can almost feel a crackle in the air. I'm so excited about tonight that I can't sit still. We are planning to have our usual annual party (we've done it a couple of years) and I can't wait to just sit back and get wasted i'm planning to go for plastered this year I don't wanna know a thing. Although I may say this doing it is probably unlikely. I always want to drink but I can never seem to make the stuff go down. That's why I usually resort to the mary jane, ahhhh i love that stuff easy to do, no sicky feeling it's great so i'm hoping that someone will be bringing along this stuff cause i'm sure i won't be able to drink my malibu rum and pineapple juice (extra yummy) it's great but after 1 or 2 drinks it's hard to swallow must be too sweet.

Anyways i'm super stoked, i'm hoping that our office will shut down early and i'm also hoping that this storm will hold off but as i'm typing i'm noticing that it's starting to snow and freezing rain....great. Like we need that crap today to ruin my perfectly happy mood. Oh well nothing can touch me today i'm on a high (and no i haven't had any mj yet....he he) Deb and i have splurged today and said to hell with our diets and were getting dixie lee yum yum in my tum this stuff is way better than kentucky fired chicken and I can't wait til she gets back *tummy growls*

So HAPPY NEW YEAR to one and all and i hope everyone stays safe and has a excellent time I know I will be.

oh and Lindsay do you happen to have any new and exciting news???? Inquiring minds would like to know *wink wink*.

Take care and i'll see you in the new year!

~h~

just some bits and bites

I have come across several versions of my insert below and I like it some i'm copying and pasting it here on my site as well. I may add more later I haven't decided yet.......

here goes:

Three Names you Go By:

1. Heather
2. Flea (my dad nicknamed me this as I am small and wimpy and there's a story but you all don't need to know it :) )
3. Lucy (this is a new one, a girl that I work with every now and then calls me this not really sure why but I kinda like it)

Three Things You Like About Yourself:

1. I'm nice at least most of the time or at least until you really get to know me well
2. I'm very loyal and trustworthy
3. I at least like to think that i'm smart and witty

Three Things You Dislike About Yourself:

1. I have no self confidence
2. I tend to worry to much about what other people think of me, even if I say that I don't care I still care deep down.
3. Zero motovation. I can never set a goal or get up energy to do something new or different.

Three Parts of Your Heritage:

1. Irish
2. Scottish
3. French

Three Things That Scare You:

1. The "Dark" particularly if i'm out in the woods all alone and you can't see your hand in front of your face. I'm always scared that something is going to reach out and grab me....mabye it's all of those Stephen King books i have read i dunno but i freak out when the lights go out.
2. Chucky - this doll seriouisily fucked me up as a kid. Tie this in with the dark thing above not good and I was sure he was in my closet every night
3. Insects - spiders, june bugs, anything creepy crawly that are big, slimy whatever they move to fast for me and I don' like them

Three of Your Everyday Essentials:

1. my morning shower, I cannot get awake without it. nothing comes close to it and i have to have it
2. my daily dose of Orange juice I don't drink coffee so I guess this is my morning fix, although I have been trying to weed this one out as of the carbs and all that lovely stuff
3. I have to be sarcastic or say something stupid at least once a day

now you all know me so well! aren't you happy i know i am!! (daily dose of sarcasticness here :) ). I'm in a weird mood today, not too happy not too crabby not really anything I wen't home last night with a headache and it just proceeded to get worse as the night wen't on. Needless to say I was up until past 12:00 - 12:30 PM and I slept like crap. Oh well only another day which is really only half a day to go and then I have 3 days off - that makes me happy. So i'm not really in the mood to write much today. So until another day ~h

TIMBER!!!!

he he he i'm laughing just thinking about writing this on here. This morning Debbie (a fellow co-worker, whom I love as we are two peas in a pod and we get along great) mentions that perhaps we should take down our office christmas tree as it is really quit here in the office and it's just the two of us working this week and anyways no big deal right HA HA!! The laugh was on us. We get all of the decorations off of the tree (forgot to mention that it's an artificial) and were trying to figure out how it splits apart into three sections. Deb finds the first split at the top and we get the top off ok then were trying to figure out where it comes apart in the middle when I get the bright idea to lay it down on it's side and then debbie seems to recall that the bottom legs come off and before I know it she's tugging on the bottom and all of a sudden the tree comes apart not just in two sections mind you but APART literally. At least three clumps of branches come off and fall all to pieces. By now I am hit with such a fit of giggles I just can't stop. Poor Debbie was like what the heck did I just do and "leave it to me". So were left to scramble and try to piece this stupid thing back together....about 30 minutes later it's looking semi normal and mabye nobody will even know.......now just to get it back in the box. Easier said than done. I finally mange to lift the sucker up and I kind of swing and do a "heave ho" and in it goes only to have some of the branches break apart yet again. I hesitate to look at debbie who is extremely flustered by this point and I look at her and she's like "screw it" will just take it down back and let Roger (our maintenence guy) deal with it when he gets back. I continue to giggle and chuckle to myself as we push this heavy SOB down the hallway. We finally get it back to where we want it and were both huffing and puffing were coming back up the hallway and all you can see is little pieces of artifical tree everywhere our cleaning lady is sure to have a fit when she comes in later today... just to funny what a way to start the day!

So not only have I taken down our tree here at the office but I tackled my own tree at home last night. My husband once again threw a hissy fit called me the "ruiner of christmas" and the "spawn of satan" and proceeded to just sit in his chair and watch me take our tree decorations off. Seriously he's such a big baby. He should know me well enough by now to know that there is no way that I am ever, EVER going to leave our tree up clear through til new year's there's just no fricking way hosay so forget it already and help me take down this f*$%*@! tree!!!! So each time I take a decoration off I here a sigh or a moan and i'm really getting irritated and pissed. I'm finally down to the lights and there's no way I want to ask for his stuipd help but i'm not quite tall enough to reach way up there....and by now I know he's watching me fighting trying to reach and he's like "your such a grinch" but he helps me and I didn't even ask. Oh i'm good :). So our living room is now tree free and it looks so bare and so much bigger it's weird how it now feels empty but i'm glad it's gone.

Oh, before I forget I have to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Jilly it's her 23rd B-day today and the lucky bitch gets to be home enjoying the day so not fair (I don't really think she's a bitch, i'm just jealous cause I can't be at home today). Not sure if she will be reading this today or not but I still wanted to just say Happy Birthday to her and let her know that i'm thinking of her.

That's it for another day were actually working hard today trying to sort thorugh some files and get things packed up for our big office move so we are definetely keeping busy & making the day go by today. Until we meet again i'm out for now ~h~

It's finally over......well almost

yup that's right for me Christmas is over but really the holidays stretch on until New Year's day but because I have to work this week it's OVER for me. Although for me this year I don't think it ever really started, even on Christmas day when I was opening my presents and watching my husband (who is really more like a child) tear through his gifts it still didn't quite feel right to me. I don't know what my problem is but it seems like the last few years (really probably since I passed 21) Christmas just hasn't been the same. I don't know if it's just cause i'm getting older or mabye it's just cause i'm really down in the dumps lately but I just didn't enjoy Christmas this year. We spent most of our time with his family as my mom and dad were both working nights so I didn't get to see them on Christmas Eve and I only saw them briefly on Christmas day which was just weird. We normally always get together with my aunt Sharol and her family at some point and we didn't really do that either, it's like i'm stuck in the twilight zone or something i dunno but it was just all wrong i can't explain it. Oh and we had NO snow!!!!! Nothing ruins the spirit any more than that. Anyways thank god it's over for another year.

So what all did I get from santa well I did alright considering our circumstances. We didn't have as many gifts as in past years but we did alright. My in-laws got us a new gliding rocking chair that has one of those things you can put your feet up on the rocks too it's really nice, I also got a really cool poncho like coat that is almost like a burberry pattern with a shrit to match and wear with it, my mother-in-law Donna usually buys me these horrible ugly shirts from Nothern Refelection or something like OLD but she did good this year I must say I was rather impressed. My mom and dad got me a pilates tape/book and ball (I think she's hinting to me that i need to lose some weight, nice huh) so that I can get really fit and healthy my husband looked at me and was like "you'll never use that in a million years" well he's probably right but I will at leat try to attempt and use it. Some of you may be curious to know if I did get my white strips that I wanted oh so badly well......................


No, I didn't, to say that I was disappointed is an understatement I mean I wen't for like over a month hinting to him that I wanted them and he gets in the store and he can't find them. What the hell is that??? There in the fricking tooth paste aisle you moron!! God I was so pissed at him I almost wished that I could take something back of his. I got over it though. He actually surprized me this year. I had opened all of my presents at least I thought I had when he's like open this one....and I was like all happy thinking ok this is my white strips and I opened it and it's one better than that it's my dress coat that I have been whining for mabye even more so than my white strips. My mind is racing because I know that he didn't go to Fredericton and i'm like how did you get this and he was all sweet and stuff and it made my day! So now i look all fab in my new coat and I couldn't be any happier because it matches perfectly with my new black boots that I had bought about a month before christmas all I need now is a new black purse......lol i'm kidding....no mabye not

Well I hope everyone else had a very merry christmas and I hope you enjoyed your time with your family and friends, I know I did. Now i'm counting down the days until New Year's and my hair appointment (it's only a week away now YIPEE) at least I have things to look forward too. Take care everyone ~ Jodi and Pete I hope your not too buried underneath all that snow, you'll have to let me know how much you got hope your all ok & not on the roads, I feel for you :)

I'm out for now ~h~

Ok, so i'm a tinsy bit spoiled.......

I blame this entirely apon my parents who I love dearly and who would do anything for me. You see not only was I the "BABY" but my mother is a Registered Nurse and my father used to work for St.Anne Nackawic (kind like Homer Simpson's power plant but with trees and forestry stuff)until the stupid mofo's decided to shut it down and declare bankruptcy a story for another day perhaps.

So we were a farily well off family considering where we live and I had a great childhood and I always got what I wanted for Christmas and then some. My parents generation didn't have it that well off and I always felt like that because they never got a lot for presents that they decided to go all out for us. No i'm not complaining but now because of all that stuff I used to get I expect the same from my husband. I usually get pretty much anything I want and I always get my way (or at least I try) but this year things are different, my father is un-employed because of the stupid mill and my parents have cut way back and I don't expect them to get me anything but yet they did only one little present but it's still a present. My husband was also contracted through this mill so we have been struggling financialy as well, and on top of that were new homeowners and we have a pretty good sized mortage that we have to pay on. If my husband would have had his way we would have bought some little cheap house and just kinda work away at it by eventually adding on a piece, etc. But no I wanted a brand new home, with everything that I could want or need in it so that we wouldn't have to do anything later. So this ended up costing us more but do you think I cared.....ummm no.

My latest arguement with my husband is that I want to a year from now go away on a trip to either the Domican Republic or somewhere's warm. We never did have an offical honeymoon and I have threatened him that I will not have any children until I get to go away on a trip. My theory on this is that if we don't go now we never will. I want to travel and do things and he is a homebody who is content to stay in New Brunswick. Well that's not good enough for me, sorry!

Is it wrong of me to think this way?? Sometimes I wonder, I do try to see everything from every prespective but over all i'm a very selfish person and I tend to only think of and care about myself. I cannot imgine having a child right now and putting them first above me. I like to be able to go shopping and if I see a pair of shoes or a purse I can buy it and not think twice about it. I like to have new things, nice things and yeah it's all about me right now and i'm enjoying it. Someday when I am ready to stop thinking of myself or if i'm feeling the baby urge then yeah i'll get over this and be a good parent but until then i'm just going to continue on and be a spoiled selfish bitch!! :)

Enough about that ~ Today is my last day of work until next Tuesday so i'm sending out my Holiday Wishes to everyone out there espically all of my family members who come and visit here. Take care all and Merry Christmas!!! Eat lot's and lot's of turkey and be sure to have at least one or two drinks of eggnog. I'll be thinking of you and i'll see you all next Tuesday when i'm back here to post about my Christmas expreience.

Until then ~h~

To go brown or not to go brown......

I keep tossing the idea around in my head to dye my hair brown with blonde highlights in it. I've been a blonde all of my life and i'm terrified to do something different, yet at the same time in in desperate need of a change and I really, really would like to do it, yet deep down inside a part of me is screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Do you see my problem? By the time I actually do go for my hair appointment (which is not until January 4th) I will be in such turmoil and distress I won't probably do anything to my hair besides get a cut, which I am also in desperate need of. I have had a body perm in my hair for not quite a year and the last time I got one put in I had this bright idea to get all of my hair cut off and really short layers. No joke -I came out of the parlor looking like Kalan Porter's identical twin (for those who do not know who this is he was our recent Canadian Idol winner, do a search on him and you'll get an idea of what I looked liked). So a few months later it's a little looser of a perm and my layers have grown out and I now look like a shaggy dog. I also had the bright idea to dye my hair on my own and save myself some money by not getting my hairdresser to do it. Well I purchased the product (feria - light blonde) and I followed all of the directions as told only I timed it wrong so instead of a light blonde I kinda have a funky blonde-red colour going on and on top of that it's now a month later and I have horrible dark, dark roots growing in and my hair is just NASTY! I'm counting down the days (now 13) until I go to Jackie (my hairdresser whom I have had since like forever). So i'm hoping that she can fix me and mabye she'll agree with the brown idea that I have.

Not helping matters much I think I recently read in People that Brown is the new Blonde and they showed all of these celebs who have been blonde and recently went brown, i.e; sarah jessica parker, mandy moore, etc and I see them and I think yeah ok I'm gonna do it........well mabye not, I don't know what to do. My husband isn't much help to me either he prefers me blonde and that's that, no if's and or but's. But his opinon doesn't really matter (not in this case anyways) because I think I am actually going to do it as long as I stick to my guns about it and stop dwelling over it. The change will be good :)

In other news today, I seem to be in much better spirits today or it could just be the hot chocolate that I just consumed from Tim Horton's...i dunno but i'm pretty happy at the moment anyways. The sun is shining here, everyone seems to be in a good mood (for most of them here in my office today is there last day and they are on vacation all next week, lucky shitheads), I actually have work to do today and i'm not bored at all - Thank god and I also get paid tommorrow that makes me really happy and I have all of my christmas shopping done and the gifts are delivered. So now I can just sit back and chill for a few days. Ah that feels nice to say and I feel like I just lost a huge brick off of my shoulder. I may be humming another tune tommorrow, you just never know with me.

Ta ta for now i'm out for another day ~h~

Another Day - Another Dollar

Well it's Tuesday, 3 more days until Christmas (actually i'm considering it 2 days because I have Friday off and I can't wait to sleep in....). I practiclly had to drag and haul my ass out of bed this morning. I wish I would have been one of the smart people who have taken vacation days. I really don't feel like doing anything today let alone pretending to be working and doing things today. The days are long and agonizing (see yesterday's post) and all I can think about is what I have left to buy and what I need to get from the grocery store to help make Christmas dinner.

Yes, that's right I got suckered in by my mother and grandmother to host and cook dinner. Now as most of you who know me well and or have read previous posts.....i'm no Martha Stewart, I hate to cook, I hate preparing to cook. The faster I can get something ready to eat the happier I am. But i'm trying to stay positive and i'm trying to think of it as a learning experience and spending time with my only grandmother that I have left and all of that but I just can't. Christmas day for me usually consists of us getting up, my husband tearing through his presents, eating breakfast and going back to bed for the rest of the day, either reading one of my new books or going back to sleep. Not this year though, no, I have to entertain my grandmother while we cook the turkey, stuffing, gravy, etc. Not exactly my idea of fun. I'll get over it though.....at least I hope so.

So here I sit at my work trying to stay awake and amused while I count down the days until Christmas. I wish that the "Government" would install some type of policy that just shuts everything down for the holidays (excpet retail of course for all you last minuted shoppers). Seriousily though why the hell should I have to sit here when there is nobody calling, nobody coming into the office, there is absoltely shit to do (well I could do some filing but you know...). This is very painful for me, I just want it to be friday already! It's awful to be wishing the week away like that but I really am and until it's friday I probably won't be a happy person.

Almost lunch time for me here, i've got tons of stuff to run around and do and i'm not looking forward to plowing my way through the crowd of people. It's like were all a bunch of chickens running around with our heads cut off, and sometimes that is what I feel like.

Until we meet again, i'm out for now ~ h~

Somebody shoot me.....PLEASE

I'm am painfully bored today and seeings how I pretty much just copied and pasted my previous blog (only this morning) but it feels like days ago to me. I figured I would come back and try to relive my extreme bordome. I'm not at my usual post today, i'm providing cover off for another branch of a government department and I totally hate it here. The people are cold and un-friendly all of the client's stink and have bad teeth, bad breath and yuck! I hate waiting on them and I hate dealing with their crap, go get a job you lazy fucks like a normal person would is what I would love to scream at them but you can't so you act all perky and nice, which further irritates my mood today.

I've got another 2 1/2 hours in this hell hole. I've pretty much been on-line all day as there really isn't anything to do and i'm not lying. The phone may have rang twice so far and I have had people come in to drop off crap but that's it. Oh my god the phone is ringing.........

ok, i'm back. God I hate Monday's. I just can't be positive today, I feel like blatting and laughing at the same time I must be pre-menstrual or something i'm all out of wack I know that for a fact. On top of all that I have an extreme headache, that I woke up with and I even wen't at noon hour to by advil liquid gels and it's still here! Dammit I can't win today, I just want to be at home curled up in my bed under the covers dozing in and out of sleep....ahhh wouldn't that be heaven. I just keep telling myself only 3 more days after today and I have 4 days off in a row! That makes me happy, in the meantime i'm impatient, irritated, bored, lonely, tired, sad, giddy all rolled up into one. I wonder about myself sometimes, i really do. Well I need to find something to do, mabye i'll read the paper. Wish me luck :)

"Bring on the Food"

Here's an e-mail that I recently received, thought I would share it here instead of forwarding it to everyone. I will talk more about it & food after you read it.

Holiday Eating Tips......

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread these tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

I really liked this and at the time I received it last week I really needed the laugh. I don't know what it is about any of the holidays Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving even big family get together's like a funeral or wedding there is always tons and tons of food. You can't resist it even if you try, there is always something that calls to you and once you start you cannot stop. You pick up a little bit of this and that and you are constantly munching on something.

The Christmas season is the worst though, the whole entire month you are tempted by chocolates, sweets, fruit, whatever, someone is always bringing something to work or at home. It's no wonder my pants have been tighter....sigh. Guess I will worry about that when January comes around. Christmas is only once a year and you might as well enjoy it ~ right?

What's next?????

Oh boy what else can I take this year, I just thank god that we are only 2 weeks away from the prospect of a brand new year and a new beginning. Not only did I recently lose one of my grandmothers (she passed away November 24th) but my husband's grandmother recently suffered a heart attack and had been in the hospital's ICU until last night/early this morning when she finally passed away. I had a funny feeling on Sunday when we were in to visit her and in the back of my mind I knew that this was going to happen and I mentioned it to my husband at the time and he said "no way, she's to tough". Indeed she was but everyone has to go sometime and at least she's with her husband Murray who passed away this past March as well. That's three of my relatives in one year.

It's werid because I always pictured her being around for many years to come. She was always so strong, espically after Murray died and I could picutre my future children being with her loving her and eating her fabulous homeade chocolate cake (which was to die for) and I can't believe she's gone too. My husband is taking this EXTREMELY hard, he had it in his head that she would be ok and everything would go back to the way it was. I have never, ever seen him so upset and it's opening up fresh wounds for me too because i'm still missing and thinking of my own grandmother too. So it's offical that this is the worst Christmas ever and I hate to even think of what it will be like next week. Well i'm really at a loss of words today, I feel somewhat better getting some of this out but i'm sure the next couple of days will be really hard.

I'm out for now ~h~

~My Christmas Wish List~

Seeing's how I finally finished my Christmas shopping for everyone else around me (I still have to do his sock from Santa but that is easy) it finally hit me that I haven't even thought of what I would like for myself this year. That's got me a thinking. From the basic simple needless thing to something totally off the wall here is my list for 2004. And no I don't expect anyone out there to actually buy me any of these things this is just for fun, please post something or other for what you would like this year as well.

In no specific order here goes:

1.) I want a computer, printer and all that comes with it. This is asking for a lot I know but I need a computer at home. I have a home based business (Mary Kay) and I need or I should say that I would like to have it for that and to do our on-line banking as well. On the plus side I would be able to at least write a portion of this off when income tax time rolls around. This would make me very happy but it's probably not going to happen.

2.) A new winter coat (dressy) something that I can wear to work or for nice ocassion's. When I told my husband this he laughed out loud, he's like you have tons of coats. Well yes I do, but not a black one that comes down past the knee (which is what I want/need).

3.) Crest White strips, I have wanted and hinted at this to my husband for over a month and i'm hoping he has taken the hint. Out of the three things so far this one is a sure fire bet that I will get and I can't wait to have whiter teeth.

4.) CD's - the only one that I have hinted at is Gwen Stefani's newest solo effort, Love Angel Music Baby. Not sure if I will get this or not but i'm hoping.

5.) Books, seeings how i've purchased two already for myself (hoping to forget but not likely) I can't see him or anyone else getting me any more books unless my mom gets me something. I am open for anything though and I love nothing more than curling up after Christmas and reading a good book and eating candy.

6.) Socks, I am in DESPERATE need of socks. For those who know me extremely well know that I never, EVER have matching socks (not that I care but sometimes doesn't look so good at work when your pants shink up when you sit down and your socks are blue and black). I would take as many as I could get thank you.

7.) Just thought of another thing that I would like to have & have wanted in the past. I wouldn't turn away a PlayStation2, although I think I have heard that they will be coming out with another one in a year or two but I still would take one

8.) money or gift cards, either or you can't go wrong for me. I would rather take these than some butt ass ugly shirt that I wouldn't be caught dead in. This is the safe high road but it's good for me.

9.) a gift certificate or a spa package, I am happy just thinking about this. I can think of nothing better than a back massage or a pedicure. This would be really nice but I cannot see my husband going into a spa place and purchasing this for me so this is probably a no go but it's a nice idea.

10.) a new pair of PJ's, my mom always gets me these and I hope she doesn't let me down this year as I could use a new pair & it's always nice to lounge around in the new PJ's over the holiday break (along with my book & candy).

11.) candy or chocolate - yum is all I can say and my stomache thanks you ahead of time :)

12.) bath stuff, bubble bath, soaps etc. Love these as well, always can use them.

13.) Lucky number thirteen is my wish to win the lotto, someone out there can either buy me a scratch and win ticket or a 649 ticket. Wouldn't it just be so cool to actually win like 10 million or something. I would literally shit my pants if it happend, chances are it wouldn't but the chance is still there all the same

I think that's about it, actually that's more than I thought I would have had down for my list. I'm sure i'll be happy with whatever I get and i'm just going to be thankful for the simple things this year, like spending time with family and friends that's the most important thing. I think I have finally caught the Christmas spirit (a little anyways) seeing's how we only have like 10 days left it's about time. Tis the season to be jolly! take care all and i'll be back.

ta ta ~h~

Straight from the Hip

Ok here's a few things that I have had run through my mind lately and I'm wondering if i'm alone on all of this. They are a little wacky and weird but their either thoughts and actions that i've been through recently. Take your guess as to what's what. Here goes....

Have you ever been extremely tired and gotten ready for bed (brushed your teeth, washed your face, gone to the bathroom and all that stuff)read for a few minutes then shut the light of and ahhhh! feels so nice but then i'm all of a sudden not so tired and I lay there and lay there and i'm not going to sleep. This is one of those times that I only doze in and out and it seems that I see every hour on my alarm clock. Every hour that I see I think ok I have 4 more hours to sleep or only 1 hour more hour to sleep and then I have to get up. This is so frustrating and irritating that i'm totally pissed off by the time I haul my sorry ass out of bed. What a way to start the day don't you think.

Have you ever been driving along on the highway (again related to being over tired or on drugs take your pick, in my case it's tired...) at night time and suddenly you see a weird type of shape along the side of the road ahead of you. My mind immediately forms the shape to be some type of whild life (usually a moose) and I think oh my god I'm going to hit this thing and I'M GOING TO DIE!!!!!! And then you drive by it and it's only a harmless little spruce tree.....

Have you ever had a huge craving and been unable to satisify it? I had one of these the other night. We just got groceries and we got all kinds of sweets and candies and all that good stuff so when we finally get home my mouth and stomache is just itching to eat. So what should I start with hmmmm how bout that dill pickle and then mabye some pop corn and oh I should have a piece of that chocolate cake only to eat all of this and still be hungry an hour later. My husband looks over at me after all of this and asks me do you think you could possibly eat anything else? My reply was simply go to hell and I wen't and had a slice of homemade bread with butter on it......

Have you ever had really bad gas and thought your insides were rotting out? Once consuming all of the junk mentioned above I have been sufering from horrible bouts of serious gas and I mean this stuff really, REALLY smells bad. Their is no ingoring this. It's kinda a combination of rotting eggs and dill pickles all in one, actually that does not do it justice. Luckily it didn't hit me until on my way home last night in the car but today at work, not so good, I let one slip out thinking i'm in the clear no one around when a co-worker pops out from around the corner like HEY HERE I AM type of thing. I know she must have smelled it, thank god I had someone here making a payment who was kinda smelly himself so I think she just assumed it was him.... he he he to funny

Have you ever had a piece of food stuck in your teeth or seen someone who had something stuck in their's and not said anything to them? The most I have ever had stuck in my teeth was a piece of pepper once and luckily at the time I had a nice boss that was straight up and honest about everything so she's like, you got something in your teeth and it was all good. Could there possibly be anything groser than this...(well actually yes see next mention)seeing someone with a piece of lettuce or garlic in their teeth is just nasty.

Have you ever had someone catch you picking your nose in public? I myself will only tend to do this in private (you just have to get them out, sorry but you know everyone does it too even if they say they don't). My worst memory of an incident that totally makes me wanna gag and I just have to share it with all of you. Just picture a typical snowy stormy day for the Maritimes, fairly quite cold out when I have one of our clients pop into our office. This was an older gentlemen who I belive did have a handicap or at least not mentally well. He's not well off as a lot of our clients are and he was not entirely clean either. Now i'm generally not an overly observerant person but I noticed this right away (shudders) he had quite a face full of snot from the cold and hanging or I should day dangling from this gentlemen's nose was quite the bogger let me tell you. I was MORTIFIED what the hell am I supposed to say and how can he not feel it!!! I tried my best not to look but he kept snuffing and ewww I can't take anymore please leave! I finally got rid of the man but the memory as you can see still haunts me today. Please carry kleenax with you at all times people - PLEASE

Have you ever done a Number 1 or Number 2 in your pants (being older than 2) in public? This is something that sometimes you just can't control, when you gotta go you gotta go. I will share my story first and then one of a family members who i'm sure will disown me for sharing this but it's just to funny!! Ok mine first, he he not really funny but I have the giggles. I recently was working at my part time job in the evening and I was still re-couperating from a bout of the flu (the diherea kind that is) and I was sitting in our staff room taking my break when I had a little bout of gas so I let er rip (nobody around might as well) and a little more than that decided to come out...all I can say is thank god there was a bathroom nearby and not to much of a mess was made. The next story takes place in a shopping mall, you see they had been out shopping all day and were just finishing off at the local K-mart or Zellers (can't remember which) when the poop cramps hit. At first she just kept brushing it off but she finally realized that she needed to find a bathroom and NOW. There was no bathroom to be found and not really anything she could do, cause here it comes. How humiliating, what the hell is she supposed to do now? She eventually did find the wash room and ended up buying a new package of panties and threw the other ones out. Not really funny if I put myself in her place......well mabye still a little funny he he he we still tease her to this day every time she goes near a K-mart or Zellers.

I don't think I can top that one for right now. Please feel free to share your points of view and or embarssing situations as well. It only gets better if you share them. Take care all & i'll see you tommorrow.

~H~

BLAH

that's exactly how I feel today. I have about as much energy as my computer desk. I really don't want to be working today and to top it off I have a 12+ hour day today. Great. I literally feel like I got run over by a freight truck, i'm achey, my head aches and i'm majorly depressed & bitchy today. Actually i've been that way all weekend, my husband was in the christmas sprit and i totally ruined his mood yesterday. He brought home our Christmas tree on Friday all happy and cheerful and he's like aren't you going to decorate it? If looks could kill he would be dead right now. I hate decorating anything let alone a christmas tree. Martha Stewart I am not. I don't have a crafty bone in my body, these genes all wen't to my sister and not me. Fast forward to 2 days later and still no decorations on our tree.....yeah I know. So last night I decided to tackle the job all by my lonesome.

From previous posts you'll know that I am extremely allergic to trees, etc. I get all of the lights and ribbon on all by myself when my husband comes home and gets the bright idea to bring out the video camera! Nice just what I needed on top of everything else, he gets me on camera looking my best (HA) and cursing like a sailor. Then he proceeds to say "just think our children will be watching this some day and they will get to see how bad mommy curses and swears". I throw an ornament at him and hit him in the head, he he take that you ass!

And on cue my allergies come into play, my nose is running and my eyes are on fire and I have pitch all over me but my tree is finally decorated and it's soooo Beautiful! ha ha NOT what I forgot to mention my husband (god love him, cause sometimes I wonder) always brings home a Charlie Brown tree, it never fails. I told him to get a tall and skinny tree, he brings home a huger mother fucker that takes up half of the living room, no lie and one side has long branches and the other has short, totally lop sided and weird looking. No wonder i'm in such a bitchy mood, look what I have to work with. Oh dear, even Desperate Housewives couldn't make me happy last night. What's wrong with me???? I could not be any further from Christmas cheer. Mabye I need to go on a good bender, yeah that sounds good, a nice big glass of rum & coke would make me happy :)

well i'm out for now almost time for my lunch, time to go and spend more money and finish my x-mas shopping. fun fun

take care ~H~

la la

"you make me wanna La La". For those who don't know this is Ashley Simpson's latest song. Normally I cannot stand this girl but this latest tune just seems to stick in my head. I still don't care for her though, something about her just irritates the shit out of me. She's too much of a marketing campaign to be the opposite of her lovely sister Jessica. Oh let's dye your hair black and make you a punk simalar to Avril Lavigne she's big now. This whole trying to make her a punk thing, what the hell is that? Her music couldn't be any further from punk. Whatever happend for people just liking music because of the music, not all this latest bullshit that the "BIG" marketing people produce for us. And on top of that this girl has her own reality TV show. It makes me want to vomit. Why do people buy into this time and time again. guess that's an ageless question huh?

On top of all that this girl just won the Best New Artist award from Billboard. Can you belive that!

Course her big sister isn't much better. I think I heard that their show just got renewed for yet another season. Great, just what I'll be looking for i'm sure...not. The only time I ever, ever watch this show is when their is absoltely nothing else on and even then it pains me. Is she truly that dumb? I don't think so, I personally think it's all an act that she's put on for way to long and people like it so now she can't give it up. Course she really could be that dumb you never know.

I recently had a Jessica Simpson moment as I like to call them. This is too funny. I do happen to be a blonde myself, and yes I hate the blonde jokes and I espically hate people like Jessica that give us all a bad name. Anyways back to my story....

Last week my cousin and I had to pick my mother up from the airport in Fredericton and afterwords we were hungry so we go to Wendy's to get a bite to eat. Now we don't have a Wendys in our neck of the woods so I hardly ever eat there, but when I do I do enjoy it. So i'm looking over the menu and it says something like chicken filet, and I think to myself filet isn't that a kind of fish? And I think this out loud and my cousin here's me and she's like OH MY GOD how dumb are you!!! it's just the way they cook it. I felt like such a door knob, such a classic moment. I'm embarssed to say it actually, hope you get a good laugh over it at my expense.

Well till another day, take care and see you soon

CRACK WHORE

among all of the many swear and curse words out there this has to be my favorite one to call someone that has pissed me off. It just seems to roll off the tongue so easily, say it out loud with me Crack Whore. Ahhh I love it. I do have other favorite though like dumb ass, fat fucker, cunt, and then just the plain and simple "B" word.

Mind you I don't swear all the time it just depends on who I'm around a lot. I always seem to pick up traits from other people. Like for instance six months ago I worked with a lady here in my office who really had a potty mouth. I mean when she got going every other word was Fuck this or that and she was abnormally loud. I loved her cause she was hilarous but my subconcious picked everything up and I became like her at home. Loud and mouthy, my husband didn't know what the hell to think. Then on top of that I picked up this stupid laugh from another lady that I knew and I can't, CAN'T stop it even though it annoys me everytime I do it. I don't know what it is but it's very weird.

Favorite sayings come and go, I remember back in high school when we all tried to talk like we were from the movie clueless, we thought we were so cool. And then there was the Jim Carey phase, with everything from his movies. Like "alrighty then" and "I like it a lot". After high school I started hanging out with a group of friends who had sayings like "Round of Cone" we always laughed at that one or "You'll be alright in the morning", that one was always said when someone rejected another beer or drink. Oh how we partied hard, nothing but good times with that crew. Now I don't really know what other people say and consider cool, I wonder what the high school kids are saying these days. Guess it really doesn't matter but part of me is curious. There are times that I miss being in high school and then there are other times that there would be no way in hell that you could ever get me to go through that again. What an awful age.

Enough about that I guess. I have a long agonizing day today have to work my full-time & part-time job tonight, so I won't be home until after 9:30 tonight. We are supposed to get hit with yet another storm of snow, rain and freezing rain I'm just hoping that it holds off until after I get home. Please god let it hold off :). Besides that not much else is new i'm just axious to get today done and over with.

Well i'm out for another day, take care all and see you soon

ta ta ~h~

Charlie Lives!!!!!

oh thank god, for a moment I almost, almost was turned off of my newfound all-time favorite show "LOST". I LOVE this show and I cannot get enough, the thought that they even considered killing Charlie (he will always be the hobbit to me) off of the show made me so angry and anxious to see what was going to happen next I could have screamed (in fact I may have...may be why my husband was looking at me so strangely.....).

This show literally gets me through my weeks, as I look forward to watching it every single Wendesday. Although I recently found out that due to the holidays it won't be aired for like 5 weeks, what the hell am I supposed to do in the mean time? Pure and utter agony I tell you, last nights cliff hanger was definetely not a help. If you have not watched this show watch it you will thank me later, it's the BEST new show this year, I vote it in even over desperate housewives (which I also enjoy, but it just doesn't compare). All of the actors are great, from Jack, Sawyer, Charlie, Sayid I love them all (they are also very HOT). I don't really care for Kate yet, she just always seems to be standing around with a perplexed look on her face. I have no idea what the writers are intending with the plot but I hope they keep it up, you are constantly guessing what will happen and they are always inserting lines here and there that give you clues of what lies ahead. It's just so damn good, i'm totally hooked.

So now I just sit and wait until Jan 12 for a new show - BLAH stupid holiday just another reason to hate it this year. I did finally start my Christmas shopping today at lunch time, finally hit me that I only have like 2 weeks before it's here so I have to get my ass in gear. Also helps that it's my PAY DAY today. YIPPPEEEEEE!! Always love pay day even if the happiness only lasts for like a day and then I freak out worrying about money (endless cycle see other blog...).

Anyhoo, I should get to work, super busy today I have tons of letters to type & stuff and that fun stuff, better get at it.

Ta ta and for those who haven't watched LOST - Abc will be airing the first 2 shows back to back next week, be sure to watch it you are missing out pps!!!

~H~

"Oh the Weather Outside is Frightfull"

The joys of a winter storm, oh how much fun. A lovely combination of first snow, then ice pellets and freezing rain and now a mix of rain and freezing rain. Meanwhile the temperature sits at just about borderline between above freezing and below freezing. The real fun will come later when I try to drive home in all of this, let's just hope that it stays above freezing because if it drops i'm in for a real fun ride home.

You see I live in a charming little community that is about 25-30 minutes from my work location. Normally I do not mind the drive but during the winter months boy that's a whole can of worms for me. I did concur my fear somewhat this morning by actually driving myself here to work this morning (I did about 50-60 KM the whole entire way but I made it!) but I can feel the tension building up within me for driving home later and the anxiety begins. I will sit here and fret and worry until I get home this evening. I'm also hoping that my supervisor will take pity on me and let me leave early (one can only wish and hope). Until then I try to keep my mind preoccupied and busy - hence i'm here blogging when I should actually be working.....might not look so good to my supervisor.......will keep this short & sweet today I guess.

Wish me luck for later! Until another day

ta ta for now

~H~

Whistle while we work.....

Work, Work Work. What's the point of a vacation? I had 3 days away from my office and I come back today and low and behold I have a HUGE pile of files to sort through and data enter and all that fun stuff. I have soooo much I don't even know where to begin. On top of that i'm not really on top of my game where I was out for (five days in total including the weekend), so i'm a little rusty & not sure of everything that has gone on while I was away. I keep getting these phone calls from people who are like "I called in on Thrusday and spoke with someone about this or that, can you help me or do you know what I'm talking about"; NO DAMMIT I wasn't here so piss off is what I would love to say but the polite me states "No, I'm sorry I was not in the office on that date I can transfer you through to so-and-so one moment please". Don't get me wrong on the right day I do enjoy my job, just not today.

It's one of those days when as soon as your alarm goes off you know that it's going to be a crappy day. I feel like I am running in a thick pool of mud and not getting anywhere's just making more and more of a mess of things.

My hair isn't doing what I wanted it to do today (I really do look & feel like a poodle today, i'm not joking). My favorite sweater that I just bought a couple of weeks ago wen't through my dryer by misstake and I pretty much have fuzz balls all over me and i'm constantly picking them off. I swear I had one man come in this morning who caught me and you should have seen the look on his face. I think he thought I had coodies or something. Priceless!! That was one high note so far this morning. I forgot to bring one of our bills that should have been paid last Friday....whoops will have to wait until tommorrow....what else has happened....oh I wen't to fill my water bottle (trying to drink 8 glasses a day - ha) and there's no water, so much for that today guess I'll drink my pop instead. I should be trying to find the humour in all of this but at the moment I really don't feel like it, mabye I will later or mabye I will end up ripping someone's freaking head off that would be hysterical now wouldn't it?

I'm out for now ttyl :)

~H~

It's COLD outside

"Looks like were in for stormy weather"; it is super windy and absoltely freezing here in my neck of the woods, we did get a light dusting of the white stuff this morning but it didn't last and now it's just wild out. Not sure really why I ventured outside besides that I am super addicted to posting on here and seeing if anyone has posted a comment. I also like surfing through and checking out other pps sites. Jamie I did go to yours haven't left a comment yet though mabye another time, I like it though, I like it a lot.

Not a whole lot else is new & exciting I had a pretty lazy laid back day. I think i'm coming down with a "cold" though, I feel like crap & have not energy and my throat & ears are achey. Lovely, just what I needed. I'm hoping it's nothing, just keep telling myself that and it may just go away.

Anyways keeping it short & sweet this time. I don't really seem to have anything on my mind today besides sleep & keeping warm. Now I just have to get back in my freezing car and go back home....mabye I'll play a computer game for awhile first...

Ta Ta

~H~

just call me Mrs. Worry Wort

yup, that should be my new name. I constantly fret and worry just about everything but my main worry (which causes the most anxiety for me) is about money. Who doesn't think about money, but I seem to take it to a whole new level. For instance this is the week that our lovely mortgage comes out (which happens every two weeks oppisite my pay week, all the better eh) and it also happens to fall on/around the first of the month. I don't know why but it seems like everything comes out at the first of each month and no matter what you do you never have the funds there to pay everything, which I totally hate. Not having control nor having no money. thank god for overdraft is all I can say. I never like being there mind you but it's nice to know that it's there for you when you need it.

Whenever this happens my mind shifts into over drive. I do all of my banking on line which I love, so easy & fast and it's fab. but when I'm there I get to see how much we have on credit....not so great. Then I get this heavy feeling in my chest and I feel like the world is going to cave in on me if I don't pay all this crap off like NOW. A few deep breaths later and i'm not doing so well. Did we really put all that on our line of credit and what the hell were we thinking!! Oh MY GOD this is horrible what the hell are we gonna do, calm down Heather it will be OK just try to put aside $50 to $100 every pay and it will all be good. But then you realize that this or that needs to come out and the money is never there, so you just keep paying interest out your ass. Nice huh.

Yeah I know I do this every month, no wonder I have to take something for my anxiety.

I saw something on-line (msn I think) awhile ago that there are like thousands of Canadians that suffer from anxiety. Everyone is always embaressed (I used to be, but I know I'm not alone THANK GOD)and i'm not sure why, there are more of us out there than most people realize. Mine isn't so much the depression side of it, I suffer from panic/anxiety attacks. It is a horrible awful feeling that I wouldn't turn on anyone. Most time it's weird things that trigger me off. Sometimes it may be someone's perfume or colgne, or I feel something that I thought I had control over going out of my hands and not going that great for me. Most of the time it's control related though, I am a total control freak. If i'm not in control I'm a can be a total mess. Again it's not all the time, it just hits once and a while. Like BOOM here I am again thought you got rid of me but I guess not huh! Time for another ride on the Panic express.

It helps to talk about it though, here & with my friends. To know that you aren't the only one who has it. My anxiey is pretty moderate compared to some of my friends. I have this one friend who smoked who thought she was dying of cancer, she used to get so bad that she couldn't breathe and she thought she was dying of a heart attack because her heart was racing so fast. Her parents would constantly run her to the hospital, only to find out that it was a panic attack. There's not a whole lot that you can do either besides get on some form of medication (i'm on effexor, and yes that's probably not spelled right) and try to do mind over matter which is easier said than done.

well enough about that. Update on Canterbury life. Not a whole lot, I am off on a vacation break (from one job anyways - my full time position I still have to do shifts this weekend for my part time retail position how fun - not) so i'm on my parents old crappy slower than death computer. Dad just left to go 4 wheeling with my hubbie and some friends so I'm all alone today (for now) I will be going to my aunt Lois's this afternoon to visit & help her back some stuff for the church. Did you guys know that they raised like $1,900 in gram's name. Pretty amazing she would be very pleased with that I'm sure. Other than that nothing is new or exciting, which is not surprizing for Canterbury. Take care all and I'll talk to you soon.

~H~

Christmas Time is Here ~ whether we want it to be or not

I hate this time of year, I don't know why but every year I seem to get more and more irriatated with the whole "Christmas rush". Mabye it's from working in retail for way to many years or mabye it's all those damn marketing campains. Once the American thanksgiving is over the push is on for Christmas (actually it's been on here in Canada since October, after our thanksgiving which is way worse). You get to see all the stores putting up their decorations and put on all there deals. Here in our area we have our annual "Midnight Maddness" & Victorian Christmas, it's maddness alright you couldn't get me near our sad excuse of a shopping mall. I hate all the bussle and people, that is that last place I would want to be. And to top all that off I am not an early shopper, in fact I wouldn't buy anything at all if I didn't have such a big in-law family which I feel obligated to buy for as they always get us something or other. My husband has four brother's and sister's and two nephews and two neices, which I hate buying for as it's so hard to know what they need & want it just makes me want to pull out my hair and throw a tantram. I just don't want to shop, wrap, deliver and all that crap. No thank you.

My husband on the other hand is the reverse of me. I swear to god he has had our decorations out since a month ago. He lights up just like a kid every time he hears a christmas song and he has been planning our (I should just say his, cause I can never keep up....) annual drunk fest on christmas eve night. I am expecting to come home any night this week to see our christmas tree in our living room. He just about had a breakdown last year when I took our tree down on boxing day (a trait I get from my father, i'm sure). That's another thing I hate why do we kill a perfectly decent tree to display in our home for a month while it dry's all up and dies. I have severe allergies and by the time christmas does roll around I am in agony, but it's tradition blah blah blah bullshit! Just call me the grinch :)

Just give me time with my family and friends and that's all I care about, which is what it should be about. Enjoying our time with our loved ones while we are here on this beautiful earth. That's one memory I have about my gram she would always always come over to our house (we just lived right down the road from her) and watch my sister and I open our gifts. I can see her sitting in a chair watching us and smiling. The last few years (when we surpassed 16 or so) she would usually just call or we would go to her and see what she had gotten for gifts. I am going to miss that this year, when everything was happening last week that's one thing that kept coming back to hit me is that she wouldn't be around for christmas this year. Mind you she was the one person that I always always used to hate to buy for, she was always so picky/fussy. she didn't like candles (which I love), I didn't know her taste in jewelry so I always would resort to something for her feet, which I knew she would use because she always had problems with her feet. funny how things, stupid things stay with you. i'm so sorry for resenting you last year and i'm sorry for not being there more when I lived so close and i'm sorry you won't be here this year.

Season's greetings to all! There's only 23 shopping days left so get out there and shop and charge up those credit cards I know I will be!

Ta Ta ~ H