the "Graham" Clan

ok, this is the last one that i have in my resources for now (i'm so going home and playing with the camera!)

so this is my dad's side of the family we had a big get together in August of this year.

i'm over on the left in black standing next to my gram mcfarlane (my mom's mom..) and my mom is right behind her (yup they are really short). hubby is way in the back hiding you can pretty much only see his white hat towards the middle and my dad is right in the front kneeling on the righthand side, how we all ended up so far apart is beyond me...

ways a pretty good time, great to see everyone. thought i would post this here for sis & Lindsay (way out there in Ontario!) cause they missed out. wish you could have been there though :)

here's another!

here's another wedding pic. i love this one as i feel like cleopatra or marilyn monroe in diamonds are a girls best friends (or whatever that movie is called all i remember is the song she sings...)

anyways, from left to right are hubbies two brother's Travis, Jonathan, hubby, best friends Lee, Benji (whose also holding my flowers) and the best man Jamie

look what i can do!!!

omg i actually posted a pic on here! i'm so proud of myself!

so as you can see this is a pic of hubby and me (pls note that hubby is extremely loaded at this point so his eyes are bugged out of his head.....) on our wedding day (August 23, 2003) 2 years ago. my how time flies....

Check it out!

"My Humps"

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)

I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ice-ys.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and then DonnaKaran,
they be sharin’All their money got me wearin’Fly gearrr but I ain’t askin,
They say they love my ass ‘n,
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,
I say no, but they keep givin
’So I keep on takin’
And no I ain’t taken
We can keep on datin’I keep on demonstrating.

My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got u,
She’s got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me,
on me, on me

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’m a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)

I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let’s go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Lets spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.

They say I’m really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin’ a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin’ at my lump, lump.
U can look but you can’t touch it,
If u touch it I’ma start some drama,
You don’t want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don’t pull on my hand boy,
You ain’t my man, boy,
I’m just tryn’a dance boy,
And move my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps [x3]
In the back and in the front.
My lovin’ got u,
She’s got me spendin’.(Oh)
Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.(Oh)
Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me.

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
What you gon do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon’ do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I’ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
She’s got me spendin’.
Spendin all your money on me and spendin’ time on me
She’s got me spendin’.
Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me.

oi where to begin with this one?

now i like the black eyed peas and man if i had Fergie's body i would walk around naked all the time but there latest song and video has me wondering.

WTF?

did she just say what i think she said.

holy crap!!!

just check out the lyric's that i have bolded for instances and refering to ones buttocks and bust areas as humps and lumps is a little bizare is it not at least i think so. but despite all this i cannot get this song out of my head so obviousily someone is doing something right. right?

just had to share the stupidity

~p.s~

feeling much better by the way. not quite as sickly as i was last week although i'm still not 100% but BIG improvement from last week, just wish the damn cough and chest pain would let up some already! gish

must have's

top ten must have's while fighting "the Plague" aka flu/cold symptoms

10. Comfy bed and big fluffy blanket to roll up in
9. Heating pad and or magic bag for muscle aches and their warmth when the chills set in
8. Drugs (any kind HA! I prefer Advil Cold and Sinus myself)
7. Cold face cloth
6. Deoderant for when you suddenly get hot and break out into sweats
5. Kleenex the good kind that doesn't chafe the heck out of your nose and i carry it everywhere along with a bag to throw away the ucky ones
4. Comfy pj's (or clothes while at work)
3. Vaseline/moisturizer for raw runny nose (ouch!)
2. Water sweet cold precious water

and the # one thing to have

1. Lipton's chicken noodle soup YUM

i'm ill

ohhhh so sick

miserable bloody cold this is the first cold that i've had in about a year and a half so i'm down for the count.

can't stop sneezing and blowing my nose even though i'm starting to resemble rudolph and it's beginning to hurt. i'm sitting here yet i am in a fog so not with the program and i know i won't get any work accomplished today.

eyes are watering and my head is pounding so don't wanna be at work but i missed yesterday as i was worse off than today.

lips are chapped all to pieces as i was running a fever yesterday could not move out of bed or out of the fetal position. thought i was going to die.

wanna go home :(

only 6 1/2 hours to go

mabye i'll work thru lunch to leave early

cakes and pies!!

in case you haven't read my last few posts it's a holiday weekend for us canucks.

yup it's thanksgiving which means lot's and lot's of food but more importantly turkey, mashed potatoes, cakes and pies and whatever else you can stuff yourself with while giving "thanks" to life, god? whatever, all i care about is the food and not having to work on monday ~yippee~.

which also means that i so do not feel like working today and i just want the day over with. and even worse i have to get groceries after work which i'm sure will be extremely painful as everyone is out and about doing last minute shopping so the lines will be crazy i'm sure. so not looking forward to it.

also this is my first thanksgiving that my fam dam is away it's just me and hubby as my mom and dad are visiting my sister so that's kinda weird in a way as i'm going to miss my mom's cooking. but i still get to eat at the in-law's on sunday so i'm sure i'll have some stories as it's usually quite painful yet amuzing at the same time as they are so different from my family.

so this weekend should be a good one despite the fact that it's going to rain and be cold

i'm hoping to

eat some turkey and have at least 1 piece of someone's apple pie (never as good as mom's but i still love apple pie...)
sleep like i've never slept before
get drunk and party hardy with jilly bean as she is home for the long weekend
finish reading the clan of the cave bear series (still have 2 books to go) so lot's of reading to do!
sleep a little more
and just relax and mabye drink a little more.......

take care all

later

not so into

so i'm not so into techonology, i mean i am but not overly so. i don't know how to take photo's from my digital camera and put them onto a computer, i don't know how to download music, i wouldn't even know how to run an mp3 player, i don't know how to make my blog all fancy dancey with links, pics and all that fun stuff i would like to learn but quite honestly i don't have the patience and my computer at home sucks the big one so sorry there won't be any pics on my blog page :(

not so into rap music, i am when they have a catchy little chorus or a wicked beat and a more pop sound but the hardcore rap nope not my thing

not so into slim fitted tappered pants i have heard rumours that these are back in style and i hope to god it's not true. say it aint so!!!

not so into jennifer love hewitts new show such a rip off of medium not even funny plus i just hate her so do not watch this show is you want to watch a good show with ghosts and psycic powers watch medium on NBC

not so into doing math in my head. i've always sucked at doing math and hated it throughout my school years and i hate it when pps put me on the spot. thank god for calculators is all i have to say

not so into bon jovi's new song i know i've dissed it already but gish can't you old 80's bands go away already

not so into tom cruise and katie holmes this is such a scam and now they are pregnant! ha, what an ass. he has diminshed rapidly in my eyes since this whole tomkat began and then the whole comment thing about broke sheilds and scientology and aliens, what an ass, why do we still watch still watch his movies we should be boycotting so he can go away already

so not into working today. blah wanna go home and wish it was friday

1 more day til the weekend

bits and bites

so excited and happy as i finally can get my mop (aka my hair) cut and highlighted. i'm in desperate need of a cut as my hair has been flat, wild and driving me nuts now for weeks so i'm stoked to get a new "do" plus i just love chatting it up with jackie (the best hairdresser EVER!)

looks like i may not be going to the big city again as mom and dad are now in the talks of going out to Kingston to visit my sister over the long weekend. so another shopping trip postponed yet again hopefully i will get there before the end of the month. sigh.

day number three of the diet is going well eating in today just wish i hadn't forgot my book at home so i'm not sure what i will do for 1 hr and i can't really leave early as my hair appt is not until 5:45 not even sure what i will do to kill that 30 min.....just hope i'm not tempted to eat out that's the challenge

ok is anyone else watching Supernatural on the WB (or ASN for us Atlantic Canadians) ???? if not u have to watch this show not only is it a really good show but the lead guy Jensen Ackles (formerlly lana's b-friend from Smallville and years ago he was on DOOL) is a super hottie. like drool worthy hot. omg he's so fine you cannot take your eyes off of him the entire time yum and he was in boxer shorts last night omg!!!! ladies you have to check out this show, trust me

can't wait for lost tonight hope it's a good episode which i'm sure it will be

is it just me or does this season of amazing race look really dumb, the whole family thing?? i haven't tuned in once just not interested plus it can't compair to rob & amber love those two!!

isn't this weather fantastic!! so awsome and can't beleive it's this warm although it probaly won't last long i'm lovin every minute of it while it lasts

so i think they are going to give me more stuff to do at work which is great and i'm glad and all but yet at the same time part of me is sad.....no i take that back i'd rather be busy any day than bored and staring at walls.................

two more days til a long weekend. yippee!!!

what's not to be happy about??

lean, mean, fighting machine

this is what i hope no better yet determined to become.

i want abs of steel and a firm tight ass not thunder thighs and a budda belly (which is what i have now). yup it's day two of my actual diet and gasp!! i actually walked the dogs last night omg i'm so impressed with myself and i hope i can keep this momentum going and work out if not every night than every other.

some rules that i must follow if i am to suceed:

drink lot's and lot's of water to the point that i can't take anymore. doing well so far i have my little bottle of water that i can't help but stare at all day at work and i'm trying to get 4 of these in a work day (not including what i would drink at home) and have only achieved 3 thus far hoping to get to 4 though

no eating out mabye once every two weeks if that. so far so good this week........

no eating after 7pm (did this all last week and feel so much better in the mornings huge difference!)

exercise get moving anything. just need to be active.

so yeah i'm in diet mode and i hope to god it works and i see a difference soon

going shopping with my mom this weekend hoping to get an outfit or two and some halloween decorations and stuff so lot's of $$ will be spent. can't wait.

on a downer note think i'm getting a bug or something or it could just plain be mentrual cramps but i'm draggy and slow today and hurt everywhere and my throat is somewhat sore. so hope i'm not getting sick as i haven't been sick in like a year or more.

anyways that's it, happy tuesday!!

you might be a little overweight if.........

(these apply to myself and myself alone)

you might be a little overweight if your blouse your wearing gapes at every button every time you move or slouch a little. giving the perverts in your office a "nice" little peek at your breasts and fat rolls on your stomache.

you might be a little overweight if you go to put on your favorite pair of boots and you are unable to zip them up the entire way as your calves are just either a) to muscular or b) a little rounder than this time last year (i prefer to hope that they are muscular but i know they are not as i don't work out.....)

you might be a little overweight if the pants you used to wear quite frequently cut into you rather painfully in the middle but they fit fine everywhere else.

you might be a little overweight if your only pair of jeans looks like you have literally been poured into them with a little extra overflowing around the waist. but sense they are your only pair of jeans you wear them anyways, despite the fact that you know they look awful and don't flatter you in the least.

you might be a little overweight if while your eating you know that you should stop as you are getting full but yet you continue to clean off your plate as your parents and or grandparents always used to threaten you as a child to finish your plate as there are plenty of "starving" children all over the world that could live for weeks on what i would be wasting if i did not eat it. so i continue to clean off my plate and hate myself for it.......

you might be a little overweight if you continue to say to yourself i'll start my diet next week

you might be a little overweight if you know that you shouldn't give into temptation and eat that raw cookie dough but your craving it sooooo badly that you just don't give a damn about your waistline and to hell with that diet! heck i'm not dieting until monday anyways so why not!!

going CRAZY

you know i have often heard people say that if a person thinks they are going crazy then they are not crazy but i beg to differ.

i think i have reached the tip of my ice berg.

i'm bored out of my mind at work and at home. all we've been doing is watching t.v. (which i love) but it's getting kinda mundane. the job is non challenging and all i do is answer the phone and some filing which puts me to sleep. i've asked a few pps for some stuff to do and nothing!!! give me something, ANYTHING. i need more!!! so i'm left to either a)chatting on msn (which they are ok with) or b) serfing the net (not so sure they are ok with) but what else am i to do stare at the walls?

constantly restless but have no energy to do anything about it. remember my walk from yesterday. ha!!! so did not move off the couch just like i said i wouldn't but i could not get off my ass and out the door even though part of me wanted too.....

i talk to myself and will laugh at myself if i do something stupid. most times it's while i'm driving in my car. like when i happen to run up over a curb or cut someone off. yeah nothing but good times with me and my alter ego.

i'm paranoid about everything like work (don't make enough money, nobody tells me anything, nobody trained me, what am i supposed to be doing), life at home (hubby not really talking lately), money (never enough) you name it i think that there's a hidden agenda or something wrong.

sleep deprived yet i'm always tired

will cry over nothing or anything that sets me off and then i cannot stop and i will laugh at myself for crying over nothing. ha ha ha look at you cry baby! then i just cry some more............

i think i need anti depressants or some kind of drug, i'm in for a long winter

hump day

yup it's wednesday aka hump day. i never got why pps referred to it as thus but it makes sense now. not quite tues or thurs just in the middle like a hump.

sigh

not sure what to do with myself of late i'm so restless. i know that there is stuff that i could/should be doing here at work but i just can't seem to muster up the energy to do it. i started to sort through some files this morning and almost fell asleep so i gave that up and don't want to touch it again today as it's now like 3-4pm and that's so nappy time for me without doing something totally boring and mundane.

so i changed my template figured it was time for a change. i really like the green it's kinda soothing. oh and i finally figured out how to do links! so cool and rather impressed with myself!

looking forward to LOST again tonight. pretty bad when all you look forward to in life is a few t.v. shows.

planning to take dogs for a walk tonight when i get home as the weather turned out to be really quite nice and warm today. mind you when i get home i'll probably be unable to move from the couch but it's nice to think that i will............

anyways. not much else going on right now life is pretty boring.

i'm out

mumblings and grumblings

there are just some songs that need to be band from radio. want some examples?

here goes:

hey ya - outkast ~ man did i love this song when it first came out. shake it like a poloroid picture....then local stations picked it up like the end of summer and played it and played it. they still play at least twice a day and one of the radio host picked up this song except with different words in reference to hillbillies and it's sooooo annoying beyond words. hate it must go!!

old school love - divine brown ~ i never ever liked this song. hate it. yet they play it over and over. grates on my last nerves.

crazy in love - beyonce ~ they just love to ruin a good song don't they again overplayed waaaaaayyy to much. cannot stand it anymore.

crapbucket - k-os ~ now normally i enjoy k-os and i digged this song at first but again enough already, mabye i should be emailing our local radio station?? like they would listen.

have a nice day - bon jovi ~ first time i heard it i hate it. second time no better. they play this like 4 times a day. wrong on so many levels plus i don't like bon jovi (well he's hot but there song's suck).

matchbox twenty and or the lead singer, was his name?? hate them hate there songs. pls don't play them no more.

other forms of irritation today:

i was given the job to make up some flyers for work which i don't mind doing love it in fact but having to cut them up with the thing (you know from grade school that the teacher's use) where you line them up and cut them in half with the huge blade....? am i making sense? probably not oh well, anyways i hate these and i mean hate this piece of office equipment. every time i cut a piece of paper it's crooked even though i'm lining it up with the lines on my paper and the lines on the piece of crap. crooked. grrrr no wonder my eye is twitching. plus to make matters worse this machine has haunted me from my first admin job as my old boss was such a precise/picky ass and lectured me several times on how to keep it straight, blah blah blah. it's a piece of paper who cares????!!!!!! so now every time i use this stupid thing (what's the proper name anyone??) i think of that bastard. and again anger rises within me and my eye twitch's.

i have no wardrobe and desperatly need to go shopping for pants espically since my waistline is not going to be diminishing anytime soon. not only is that an issue but i have no hip/trendy clothes. they are all just blah or old looking as i have had them for like 5 years. must go shopping will hopefully go this sat if i can get someone to go with. only problem is i will have to use credit card as i'm poor and this only makes me more depressed. sigh. it never ends. but i have to have new clothes, i must!

can you believe it's the end of september already? where the heck did the summer and time go? i'm having a major issue adjusting to the new weather and waking up in the dark in the mornings is not fun. so cannot get my ass out of bed in the mornings.........

praying that my old piece of crap car will get me through the winter. hey better yet pray for me i'm sure it's a death trap. it rattles and shakes and vibrates and goes it. i'm sure something will brake in the next month or two it's been awhile since something has happend.

cold, wet, damp ~ ucky monday

monday again. ugh!!! how i hate monday's.

not only is this monday crappy enough it's rainy, windy, damp and cold.

now that i mention it not only do i hate monday's but i hate fall. because you see fall leads to winter and that does not make me happy. another thing that does not make me happy is "hunting" season which has begun. everywhere you look (trust me you don't have to look hard in my area) you see men in trucks everywhere sporting the lovely fashionable hunter's orange hats and camoflauge jackets, pants and boots too! oh how fun!!

so the boys got there big old bull moose ~ how exciting!!!!!!! not. how bout how disgusting. poor little ole moosey, well okay he wasn't little but you get my drift. i just don't agree with the whole hunting thing i mean it's not like we have to hunt now-a-days to live/eat do we? were not in the olden days anymore so why slaughter an animal for it's antlers and what little meat you get off of it? "it's a sport" my hubby says. blah blah blah. i hate it. he loves it. something i'm going to have to get over and used to i'm afraid. still doesn't mean i have to like it though.

so i spent my weekend alone. doing nothing for once and ahhhh the peace and quiet. so nice to have a break for a change.

my mom's b-day was yesterday so we all got together for dinner & b-day cake. mmmmm chocolate cake. yum yum. it's also my cousin tommy's b-day today. so happy birthday to him!

well not much else new really have nothing funny or amuzing to write today it's just so BLAH. don't wanna be working today rather be home curled up in bed, ah well the things we do to earn a dollar.

all about Me

i hold my pen wrong and everyone always comments on it, my grade four teacher Mrs. Farrell used to come around the classroom watching everyone as they worked and she would always tap my desk with her ruler and say "your not holding your pencil properly". if only she could see me today!

i have asthma and was really quite sickly as a child, in and out of the hospital having allergy tests and on an aersol machine until i was a teenager. i still have it but i tell myself that i don't and most times i'm fine except when my allergies flair up or when it's really cold i always cough.

i give blood every 2-3 months as i have a rare blood type.

i wish that i could have lived through the original 1969 Woodstock concert. i love this era and i truly belive that i am reincarnated from this time as i love the music, fashion, the whole vibe of it all as everything was changing.

i am very insecure and have no self confidence in myself and i constantly compare myself with others which sucks and i wish i would stop doing it.

i have an uncanny resemblance to my late grandmother it's eerie as i kid everyone would tell me this and i would get so embarssed and mad as i just wanted to be me but now that she's gone i truly feel honored and even closer to her. i miss her terribly and think of her everyday.

i was quiet and shy all through elementary school and had very few friends. even to this day i take awhile to warm up to people and talk to them. not so much shy i just don't talk all that much to pps i don't know. i'm very much like my dad in this way.

as stated above i resemble my dad's mom and have my dad's nose but i have all of my mother's personality traits. i was first very disturbed by this revalation (nobody wants to act like their mom) but i've grown used to it and really who else in the world would i want to be like anyways.

im not religous and do not go to church but i do believe that there is something BIGGER guiding us. i just don't feel you have to sit in church to show your beliefs. you can meditate, walk in the woods, lock yourself in a room to think, whatever it may be you can still be spirtual without going to church.

i've also never read the bible and hardly know anything about it.

i feel really bad for saying all this but it's how i feel (i'm so going to hell!)

my most embarssing moment happend when i was in grade seven. it was at a school dance and i finally got up enough nerve to ask the guy that i liked and whom i liked from like grade 4 thru grade 8 to dance. so we danced and i was in absolte heaven the whole time and then the song is over and we break apart and he's walking away when another girl (much older) comes over and pulls me aside to tell me that i have "something" on the back of my pants. i immediately run to the bathroom to discover that i had started my period (which i only started at the beginning of that year) and i was soaked right through my jeans. i had a huge red blob on my ass and i did not want to leave that bathroom. luckily in my haste to run to the bathroom i had grabbed my coat and i tied it around my waist to slink back into the dance. i sat in the corner the rest of the evening and prayed for it to be over. to this day i don't know if he ever knew but i'm sure he did and of course he never ever liked me there was always someone prettier or cooler, i don't even know if he knew that i liked him.

i was always jealous of my older sister. she was smarter much smarter and so pretty she could be a model cause she's tall and just so amazing. i finally got over this when she went to college but all thru high school i was so jealous.

my favorite color's are purple and blue

my favorite seasome street character's were ernie, oscar and grover he's way cooler than elmo

i love my mom's apple pie

i hate to buy groceries and i always spend way to much money as i'm not a "smart" shopper and i don't look for the best buy.

i've never had the chicken pocks and now i'm terrified to get them.

i'm really, really missing jilly and hope she is doing well in the big city.

i'm out have a good weekend pps!! :)

forgive me waistline for i have sinned

i'm a weak, weak person

i gave into temptation today and now i'm feeling tremendously guilty.

it's thursday today aka Quarter Pounder day at McDonald's (the dreaded evil bastards.....) and of course i just had to have it. sigh. why do i do this to myself? i've been good it's been at leats 3 weeks since my last sinful indulgence. but i'm swearing right here and now that this is the last, LAST time I promise. no more.

so to make up for my bad behaviour i am not going to eat supper as i consumed enough calories and then some this afternoon.

other mumblings and grumblings.........

tons and tons of rumors circulating that gas prices are on the rise once again, i have heard several different amounts ranging from $1.79 - $2.25 per litre. supposably it's $2.20 in Halifax and $1.79 in Moncton. everyone here is racing to fill up and the line ups are un-real, unlike anything i have ever seen. all of this is supposed to be because of hurricane rita, mabye pps are just freaking out or mabye there is truth behind it who knows but i filled up my car.

LOST was really great last night, nice to see what's in the hatch but there are still lot's of questions and new questions like who is desmond and what is he doing there? and the whole walt thing totally freaked me out. good job guys and keep it up. i love this show!!!

a bit disappointed though of Invasion. commercials looked really awsome but it just fell flat. it was ok but not that great, i think what ruined it was the young girl rose she annoyed the heck out of me. the whole alien thing though is cool though but if you want to check out a really good alien show check out Threshold on CBS friday nights. this show blew me away last week was so good and creepy reminds me of the x-files.

it's moose season in new brunswick (yippe ~ not) oh how i hate this time of year. so hubby is out and about being all manly guiding/hunting moose. so i'm home alone until probably saturday night, which has it's advantages and disadvantages.

so that's a wrap

mrs. h. moody

i'm changing my last name to moody. these last few days (and weeks) my moods are so unpredictable you never know what your going to get. i may start out happy and cheerful but mid day or late evening it all goes to hell or vice versa.

and to top it off my hormones are all out of wack. my skin is super uber greasey/oily. like you could wipe it off and deep fry something greasey. i've never had my skin do this and i'm broke out everywhere face, neck, shoulders but mostly my face. they aren't big pus ones just little teeny tiny ones all over everywhere.

i get so mad and frustrated about everything that i want to scream/punch/kick things and then i turn around and i'm crying or laughing.

what is going on!!!

i know i'm stressed about things and i shouldn't be - hey that's just me but why is my skin all messed up????????

who knows? i sure as heck don't. mabye it's just horomones changing as i get older (sob) or mabye i'm mid cycle and just need to bitch. mabye it's the change in the weather.

i dunno i just hope it passes like everything and anything else.

work is extremely quiet today all the head hauncho's are out you could hear a pin drop it's so quiet and i don't wanna do a friggin thing. will have to do something though to make the day go by fast as LOST is on tonight and i just cannot wait! so excited!! happy dance.

anyways, Happy Hump Day

have you ever...

have you ever been in a store (i.e. gas station or grocery store) where they have security cameras and you look at them and see a person and think to your self who is that fat ass only to realize that it's your own fat ass staring back at you. this really happend. really. ~ sob~

have you ever looked into the mirror and fully realized how old and chubby you are? in my mind's eye i still feel like 22 and think that i'm a size 8......ha ha ha only to have age and fat thighs mock me as i stare at myself naked in the mirror and then i fully realize that it's not going to get any better (just wait til i pop out a kid for godsakes!!!!)

have you ever had to sit through a really intense good movie only to have dumbass teeny boopers ruin it? case in point - attended late night movie saturday night v. excited to watch the exorcism of emily rose only to have the entire theatre and i mean the entire theatre filled with tweens & teens. now i was a teen once and i know that my friends and i were loud and all but at least we had respect for other's, this whole new breed of teens do not. after every possible scary scene some idiot kept making farting noises and they all would laugh and tee hee totally ruining the scene and vibe of the movie. like how rude!

have you ever looked at a teen queen and wanted to hurt her as she is so just like barbie it makes you want to vomit? perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect boy toy (he was a hottie too). BARF.

have you ever gone like 2 1/2 weeks without shaving your legs? yeah, i still haven't shaved i'm growing attached to the hair.

have you ever rubbed your nose only to experience excruciating pain? like what the heck is that! and owww. then suffer from a really bad nose bleed. weird.

have you ever been thrown into a job and nobody tells you what to do? this has happend to me twice with my last two jobs. not fun. espically with this one as there is so much going on and i know i could/should be doing something but i have nothing. so i just sit and try to look like i'm doing productive things.

have you ever worked in a building with security/hidden camera's? have to deal with this every day and try not to pick my nose or do anything embarssing as it will be on tape.

have you ever had a brain fart where you are either a) talking to someone and you get mid sentence and everything drowns out and you are in an empty void and fail to remember what you were talking about or b) you start walking somewhere's to do/get something and get halfway there and cannot remember what you were doing or where you were going.............

have you ever wanted to cry, laugh and scream at the same time. wanted to do this today, several times

have you ever wanted to continue blogging as you are extremely bored and ready to go home but run out of ideas?

Top "Seven"

I found this on another blog, i read her quite often check her out sometime at www.blondiescorner.blogspot.com

7 things I plan to do before I die
1) bungie jump
2) Become a millionaire.
3) find a job that i love
4) Have a few kids.
5) sky dive
6) Travel to at least Scotland, Greece, & Hawaii but i'll settle for Cuba
7) go to watch the olympics (preferably the winter they have better sports), would love to go to the games when they are in Vancouver.

7 things I can do
1) bitch
2) whine
3) type really, really fast
4) bend my arm around so that it looks out of joint
5) talk to anyone
6) smile even when it hurts me to
7) Drive really, really fast

7 things I cannot do
1) touch my toes (as sad as this may be)
2) Deal with someone who stinks. I have a sensitive sniffer.
3) be around insects (espically june bugs)
4) clean up cat shit (little kitten is still not really using the box and still has the shit's so disgusting and it's all i can smell
5) kill/shoot an animal (or person unless really provoked)
6) walk through the woods along in the dark
7)use the washroom in public places (number 2 only, number 1 is not an issue here)

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
1)the buttocks
2)sense of humour
3) smile
4) skinny/wiry
5) hair (on the head only, hairy chest = ewww)
6) abs
7) arms

7 things I say most often
1) Shut up
2) F$^%
3) whatever
4) dumbass
5) k

6) have a good one

7)i hate you (jokingly to hubby)

7 celebrity crushes
1) Jared Leto (i love him, have loved him since my so called life)
2) Jake Gyllenhaal
3) Adam Brody
4) the guy who plays Sawyer on Lost (dunno real name)
5) Justin Timberlake
6) Billy Crudup as Russell Hammond in Almost Famous
7) Jim Morrison

7 people who need to do this
1) I don't know anyone......
2) Jilly of course
3) Andy
4) Aila
5) Krazy Kaper
6) Kleo
7) Bridget (not sure if she still reads or not)

true stuff

i just ran my hand over my leg and the leg hair is overwhelming. it's like a little forest, my own little private hairy forest

i cannot stop biting my nails. i bite until they bleed. this is an issue.

i'm a compulsive liar

i'm not a true blonde anymore i'm more of a dark blonde with wanna be blonde highlights. i miss my true blonde days :(

i also miss when i could go into a store and put anything on and having it fit. this was back in the good ol days of being a teen/early 20's when i weighed 115-120 pounds, mind you i looked anorexic with my little twig arms but oh how i miss those days when i could eat whatever i wanted and not gain a pound. so not the case nowadays i eat a french fry and 5 pounds goes onto my ass.

i haven't eaten out yet this week & i worked out today at noon let's hope i keep this up and i'm hoping that by keeping track here will make me stay dedicated and focused. i'm on a mission to lose 15 pounds (mabye 20 but that's pushing it).

so i haven't eaten much today and i'm hungry like almost feel sick to my stomache hungry i can literally taste the bile in my throat. so wanna go home.

i'm a whiny baby and i always complain about something or other hurting. lately it's my right knee and my jaw. yeah i have tmj or tmd whatever the heck it is it will snap and crack and not quite lock but almost. required to get bite plate which costs $350, think i will wait until i get my health coverage thru work thank you. so i suffer in the meantime, so i complain a little, so i whine, so what

i've drank 3 591ml bottles of water today and i'm still thirsty as heck. must be uber dehydrated.

i've sworn off of pop, any kind of pop (again) got addicted to Diet Pepsi while in PEI months ago and need to let go, although with weight watchers it's only 1 point per pop but it's just not good for you & makes me so bloated. buh bye dp :(

i want to win the lotto but yet i don't buy tickets. this is another issue.

whose going to win Canadian Idol. who cares this season sucked ass compared to last year, although i would like to see the newfie win even though he can't sing all that great.

rock star inxs kick butt. love this show but can never stay up to watch it's on way to late but i tape it and watch the next day. all 4 that are left are good in there own rights but my fav's are Suzie and Mig. J.D. is up there too but i like the other two better. not really big on marty, not sure why, mabye it's the kurt cobain resemblance i dunno but he's my least fav although everyone else loves him and he'll probably be the one to join the band.

guess i should do something have an hour to kill

i'm out

Budda Ba Ba Ba......i'm lovin it

in case some don't know this is the newest/latest mcdonald's jingle. you here it every where and everyone knows when you hit the budda ba ba ba, what tune it is and who it's for. i even have a little nephew who sings this tune. pure marketing genius. evil marketing genius. and in my case i'm hating it.

i'm swearing to myself or better yet trying to convince myself that mcdonald's is the devil. as of late i have fallen back into the routine of eating out there at least once or twice a week. i was doing so well to there for a little while and now look at me. sob. i cannot stop but i'm trying v. hard to stop. boycot is in place!!

note to self - faired well last week as i didn't eat there but was tempted oh yes indeedy was i ever, ever tempted.

not only is this bad for my waist line but it's bad for my wallett, you see there prices have gone up like everything else and for a combo deal (my fav is the quarter pounder) is now like $6.30+. crazy retarded.

~sigh~ i wonder if there is an addicton class for this??

yippee skippy

it's friday, need i say anymore?

the good mood is still here although not as prominant as yesterday. lot's to do this weekend like some housework, weddings, house warming parties and so forth so should be a pretty busy weekend. just hoping the weather holds out may even do some wheelin on sunday.

feeling somewhat better about the job i just need to appreciate the fact that i have a job and stop being so bitter plus i work with several hotties so that's a huge BONUS

it's the weekend people! party hardy :)

happy, happiness, happy time

i'm so happy today. for the first time in a long time i feel giddy and feel like smiling. not really sure why cause my life is no different than it was the day before but here i sit omitting happiness.

mabye it's because i had lunch with a friend who i haven't seen in months and she always makes me laugh.

mabye it's because the shit storm is moving on to someone else and leaving me behind and i can be happy and stress free (ha i wish!)

mabye it's because it's September and it's still 30 degrees outside (loves it!) but i'm sure it won't last

mabye it's because Aaron Walpole got kicked off of Canadian Idol (could not stand him and now that Casey's gone i couldn't care who wins)

mabye it's because the new season of the o.c starts tonight, so excited and cannot wait

or mabye it's just because it's about time that i can be happy. who knows but i'll enjoy it while it lasts and spread the happiness to eveyone!

random thoughts

i'm breaking a rule and blogging from work as i'm bored, tired and plain lazy and do not want to do anymore until 5pm which is exactly 38 minutes away

my pants are tight, yup it's that time of the month & i've gained 5+ pounds

feel like a frickin whale

did not shower this morning to damn lazy

have a "cute" big blind zit in the crease that forms when i smile so i can feel this huge mofo all day and i've done quite well in restraining myself from squeezing it as i don't want a huge welt on my face at work

i'm craving chocolate like a madman

reading a really great book called " the Clan of the Cave bears" recommended to me by Jilly, love it and can't wait to go home, curl up and have a nice bath and read it till it's done

it's like 30 degrees outside today

stupid me wake up in the morning thinking it's going to be cold and wear a fall sweater and pants. sweating to death & my pants are tight, did i mention that already???

so uncomfortable cannot wait to go home and change into pj's, oh how i miss pj's

can u believe the price of gas. so wrong and not right but i fear it's not going to drop much in the near future or any time after that. we may as well get used to it, sad to say

25 minutes and counting

my feet stink, nasty but i don't want to put my shoes back on, hope no one walks by but yet at the same time i kinda do

i technically work for 1 company but yet the owner owns several business 2 of which are in same building so i have to answer phones for both.......should be paid for both shouldn't i? or am i just greedy as i'm under paid

hmmmm the things to ponder

the radio plays crap, old crap that needs to go away and be burned/banned

running out of things

wanna be home

20 minutes and counting til 5pm

Rolling Stones summary

so i survived the big bad stones concert. it was pretty amazing and like anything in life it had it's ups and downs and here's my run down of yesterday's concert.

first up on my agenda was to get totally shit faced before 2pm which i did on the sad/unprepared end we left at 2:30 (thinking we had tons of time and that most of the crowd was ahead of us, ha ha who were we kidding!) we had to waste an hour of time waiting in line after line, after line.

line number 1 - good buddy of my hubby's dropped us of at the bus stop running in moncton to take us to the shuttle buses up mountain road. the line moved quite quickly and we only had to wait 30 min putting us at 3pm and Our Lady Peace (my fav band) plays at 3:50. Krystal and I begin to worry that we may not see them................

arrive at shuttle bus destination at the bottom of mountain road. line up is frickin un-believeable forming several figure eights. had to at least be 1000+ just in this spot leading us to

line number 2 - i dunno how long we were here did not time, don't really wanna know either. oh and did i forget to mention that i am shit faced and have been drinking all morning and i'm totally wasting a perfectly good high waiting in line!! ha ha plus i have to pee.

finally get onto shuttle bus let loose some hoops & hollers everyone is stoked. bus ride is mabye 10 min tops and we are dropped off at the starting point of Magic Mountin/magnetic hill. have to walk up hill for like 10-15 min just to get to gates of concert. did i forget to mention that it's hot and i'm out of shape. but that so did not matter as i am missing Our lady peace. not cool. Kris and i booter as fast as we can arriving at

line number 3 - checking bags/tickets. this line was actually not half as bad as what i thought it would be. they really didn't check for shit and i'm sure lots of pps snuck stuff in (unlike us who were not thinking of all these damn lines beginning to sober up, could have been drinking entire time which i'm sure was an hour and a half) anyways we can hear them singing and i want in there already but there is still more walking. and were walking and the pps holy mofo i cannot believe the mass of pps. unlike anything i have ever seen. then i see Raine on the big screen and nothing else matters. and then they are done playing and he's leaving and i haven't even seen them yet!!!! grrrr but hey at least i saw him but i must say we were off to a rough start. the boys of course had to get there beer which is in the beer gardens in a roped/fenced in area hence leading to

line number 4 - checking pps id's, this wasn't a long line but still it's a line. beginning to not like lines (trust me does not get much better)

arrive into beer garden area. no idea where to go just see pps everywhere. finally we figure out that you have to purchase tickets before you get the beer. this is where i'm going to complain. they should have had lines roped out for pps to wait in as there was mass confusion and two seperate lines forming into one big one. lot's of pushing and shoving and again not sure how much time wen't by but Maroon 5 starts playing and i can't see shit from where we are. by the time they get there tickets they are playing there last couple of songs and we are in the actual "beer" line which makes that line number 5.

just in case you forgot, i still have to pee! yeah, i haven't gone yet and everyone wants to wait until the beer is gone before we go to porty potty land so we don't get split up. you see the weird thing about holding your pee for so long is you forget you have to go after awhile. i mean it hurts and all but i so forgot.........anyways. we sit and drink. Maroon 5 is done and we are waiting for the Tragically Hip to come on. again not sure on time but they begin to play as we make our way to the bathroom finally, i've only had to go now for like 2 hrs............

which brings us to line up number 6. porty potty land. row upon row of porty potties and i must add they are beginning to smell like hell. thankfully the line again moved fairly quickly but man i so did not want to go in there yet i had to and omg it was the most disgusting thing ever. no toilet paper, pee everywhere, the stall that i am in is almost overflowing with pee as it's almost to the rim of the toilet seat. i so did not want to touch anything. found it v. hard to keep footing as the floor is all wet and i'm slipping and sliding and the smell is terrible and i'm trying so damn hard to pee but it just won't come out and then there is thumping and banging coming from the stall beside me and some women says something like "so are you horny" and that does it i'm giggling softly to myself and finally i have relief and thank god i can finally get out of there.

so we re-group and decide that we should make way for the stage in preparation of the stones because thus far we haven't seen shit concert wise only heard. so we get to watch most of the hips performance which is pretty good but the sound is a little off or something but it was awsome. so they wrap up and were at a pretty good angle to the stage but still along time away from dark. we had to wait at least an hour and a half before the stones came on. by this point we have been on our feet all damn day and my legs and feet (espically my right knee, something not right with it lately) is hurting like hell. so we sit and wait and wait and they are out doing sound and light checks and they are loading pps with back stage passes onto the 7 stories high stage and everyone is getting pumped and clapping and it's getting dark out and you know it's getting close.

and then there's a loud bang as fire works go off and lights come on and you here the beginning of Start me up and there's mick and the boys and the crowd is wild this is frickin un-real and amazing! the gigantic big screen and lights and sounds and holy frig can micky boy ever move. we stayed down there for quite a few songs until some pps started pushing and shoving and stuff and we thought it best to move back a little. now you know where outside and all but thre are 85,000 pps crammned into one field and just about every person smokes some sort of cigerette, joint, cigar whatever and i can only take so much smoke before it starts to make me sick and i am starting to get that feeling and i want to leave but i don't say anything as i know everyone else wants to stay. so we move back again and decide to mabye get some food and water. i am hopeful that the water will make me better. ha ha who am i kidding. so did not work. everything on me is now hurting quite severally at this point but mostly my legs and my head which is splitting right down the middle. mick and the boys are singing a bunch of songs i don't know and i begin to feel as though i am about to have a panic attack.

yup my wurst fear come true. i so knew this would happen and here i am and it's happening. great. hubby doesn't really understand (of course i didn't tell him at this point either but he knew soemthing was up i'm sure) and tells me to drink more water which i try to do. we move again up further up the hill and now we have an awsome view of the stage and lights and they start playing Paint it black which is my all time fav song of there's and i'm trying so hard not to give into the panic but i can still smell smoke (pot, cig's) all around me and that does it i am full blown into my panic attack. i'm hot and can't breathe and the tears are brimming in my eyes and i start to feel my arms slightly shaking and i just try to withdraw into myself but hubby finally really "looks" at me and he's like were leaving now grabs my hand and were off walking.

and walking and walking. did we walk this bloody far coming in geez. we finally see where they have all the buses lined up and the stream of pps is crazy! the concert is not even over and there is a river of people just walking and waiting in lines for the buses. we avoid line up number 7 as we just do not want to stand in another line and continue walking in hopes of getting a taxi in downtown moncton. so we walk and walk some more and my legs are numb with pain, my right knee has locked right up entirely and i'm sooooooo tired and just want to be in bed. we see cabs coming and going but have no real luck flagging them down so we finally catch the number of one of the cabs driving past and decide to call them up and tell them where we are at which is by the comfort inn in moncton. the first time we called two cabs went to pull into where we are waiting but the swarm of pps scares them off as they encircle the cab at once desperate to get a ride. by now we are all tired, achy, scared and anxious to get the fuck out of moncton but hope was beginning to dimish very rapidly. krystal calls the cab one more time says to pull into comfort inn driveway and the wait begins. another 10-20 min passes us by before the cab finally shows up thank god. it was like the lights of heaven opened up and we were alive and heading for larry's house and arrive by 11:30 which is preety darn good considering we could/would have been much much longer if things hadn't gone like they did.

so we get back and i'm exhausted as my panic attacks usually leave me drained, cold and with a severe headache. i go right to bed with a cold face cloth and i'm done, no more for me.

so that's my Stone's experience. we didn't buy any t-shirts or souviners (didn't even think of it), no pictures as we didn't buy one of the disposable ones they had for sale all i have is memories so it's a good thing that i didn't get drunk.

anyways, happy labour day weekend all :)

Welcome to the Jungle

welcome to the jungle we've got fun 'n' games

i live in a jungle. my animals all four of the (2 dogs, 2 cats) have the rule of my home.

Ya learn ta live like an animal in the jungle where we play

no word of a lie. i have given up trying to stay on top of the dirt and mud but it's impossible so i just let my floors get filthy dirty, i mean dirty your feet would be black in an instant. there is cat and dog hair everywhere you cannot escape it. i've let this go for a little while and now i'm fed UP. i can't take anymore dirt or hair. i have dust bunnies rolling around the size of a baseball. i'm so overcome by the smell, hair whatever of animals. i mean i love them and all but geez

You can have anything you want but you better not take it from me

HUGE mofo party at the camp this past weekend for my hubby's cousin and bride to be who are getting married in 2 wks. they had their bachlor/bachlorette parties. was a blast and i totally got smashed and was so drunk. my world was all spinny!!! i haven't been that loaded in a very long time, in fact i think i out drank hubby which never happens and he was watching me like a hawk as i tend to flirt while intoxicated. anyways it was super fun and i didn't throw up although i was down for the count all day sunday. did not want to get out of bed.

And when you're high you never ever want to come down

so were getting down to the wire for the Rolling Stones concert in Moncton it's this coming weekend. i'm actually getting a little excited and a little less fearful i must say although the fear is still there but being numbed by the fact that i can't wait to see our lady peace and the fricking tragically hip & the stones. can't wait. but fear of dying or of being hurt is still there.........must repress

You know where you are????????

You're in the jungle baby

You're gonna die in the jungle

so i'm back into the grind of the work world. going well, i like the pps and the company and all but overall i'm a bit disappointed. not with the job but with myself. i want more than just "answering" the phone. i'm trying to think positive and that mabye hopefully in a year or less (god i hope less) that i can be promoted to another position. i just feel like i'm not going anywhere/improving upon myself. i dunno it's weird and i'm trying not to let my feelings effect my job but i think it is. i'm just to damn confused and frustrated & all these damn changes in my life the past 6 months is getting to be a little overwhelming.

anyways it's getting to be bed time.

talk more later

fidgety didgety

i think i am suffering from cabin fever.

warning sign number one - cannot sit still must twitch something, preferably my right foot.

warning sign number two - cleaning my house like mad, like the show Clean Sweep mad. i'm throwing crap out, dusting, i'm even contemplating washing walls tommorrow. i frickin hate washing walls and once vowed that i would never, ever do so but upon noticing some heavy duty dust/dirt on my walls i think i just may go at them tommorrow........................

warning sign number three - my thumb is sore from channel surfing through daytime t.v. most days i watch regis and kelly then clean for a couple of hours and come back at 2pm to watch all my children and days of our lives (i flick back and forth between the two). sometimes i just watch much music although lately they are running a lot of re-runs, and other times i just randomly flick, back and forth and to and fro until i just can't take anymore and i return to my mad rampage of cleanliness

warning sign number four - i'm constantly hungry. even if i just ate something i'm hungry. thankfully i don't have much for food in the house as i'm all by my lonesome. but have i ever got the munchies.

warning sign number five - i shriek at my pets. i've turned into shreiky from the care bears. any little movement sets me off. it does not help that they do not listen to a word i say. hubby is numero uno in their eyes and like they are going to listen to the women who shreiks all the time.

warning sign number six - minimum amount of sleep. i'm up well past midnight every night and up at the crack of dawn. my eyes are burning out of my head and my head pounds/aches all the frickin time. i eat advil like they are candy and it still aches and pounds. but i can't sleep as i have things to do, things to clean......

sigh

running out of energy

getting sleepy, must be close to midnight.

on the positive side of things (must think positively people!!)

i have found another job and start back in the work world on monday, which makes me terribly nervous as i've grown accustomed to taking naps in the afternoon, watching soaps, munching on food throughout the day and just plain being lazy. but it's a job yippy skippy and i think that it will be great and all but at the same time i'm kinda sad.

good bye late late nights of mindless tv
farewell afternoon naps
so long mindless frantic cleaning
i'll be seeing you my dear friend, sour cream and onion ruffle chips i'll miss you promise to write and keep in touch
au-revoir shrieky, i'm sure i see you again soon................................

top 10 run down of my day

1.) woke up at 8am to have my daily dose of "good good whole wheat shreddies" only to discover that we were out of milk.

2.) pried my new baby kitty off of the back of my neck. the little spider monkey loves to climb up pps backs. all i can say is ouch make that a double ouch. my back is scratched all to pieces.

3.) wanted oh so badly to crawl back in bed and go to sleep but hubby decides that he wants to "wrestle" and "tickle" me until i cannot possbily take anymore. i almost died (seriousily)laughing so hard and i swear i saw the light but really i couldn't breathe and it was kinda freaky. hubby then finally decides to lay off when he discovers that i have turned blue.

4.) it's official all my pets are crazy. they are bad, bad bad pets who do not listen and mind and they drive me up the wall. the dogs chase the cat, the cat then chases the dog, my other cat charlie meows to go out, the dogs whine to go out, it's a frickin circus i should be charging pps to live with me for a day. god i could probably make money off of this, why didn't i think of this before?

5.) finally go back to sleep and sleep well past noon. ahhhhhhh. sleep.

6.) had to go and get groceries with hubby as he is away all week at work. this is always such a fun, bonding experience for us. NOT. god we fight the whole entire time. so not fun but i survived by bribing him with the bait of "Canadian Tire". needless to say he took it hook, line and sinker!

7.) arrived home yet again. no energy. nothing on t.v. should do something but can't/don't know what. mabye i'll just sit here on the couch and watch much music.

8.) dropped a big ass container of ice cream on my foot (mostly my three small toes) and let me just say that, that mofo frickin hurt like a sob and it's still throbbing! so ruined my whole dish of cookie dough ice cream. yummy. ice cream. toes hurt. ouch!

9.) so bored that i just had to come and blog about something

10.) sit here in my pj's yet again, bloated, full of ice cream and feeling like a fat ass. i'll so have to go jogging in the morning.

over and out

me and my PJ's

so it's saturday, usually my happiest day of the week. the sun is shining out there and all i want to do is stay curled up in my bed in my pj's.

yeah i'm lazy, so what?
yeah, mabye i'm a little bummed out and depressed, but so what?
so i have no energy, no motovatation, nadda, to to anything, so what?
so i haven't showered in a couple of days, whop-iddy-do!
so what if i haven't swept the floor or done laundray in a couple of days,
so what if my house is a mess,
the dogs need walked,
i need to lose 10 pounds,
stop chewing my nails,
comb my hair & brush my teeth,

it all really doesn't matter today cause today is PJ day!

that's right i declare today PJ day and i'm leaving my pj's on until i feel like it (mabye not at all, who CARES!!!) but more than likely we will be going out later (at least i hope so) to hang with friends and get shit faced (which i sooooo could use).

so here i sit in my bright pink new pj's that i just bought yesterday. trying not to feel sorry for myself as i could probably be much worse off, but yet i still feel like crap. i'm worrying about bills, finding a good job and all that jazz. can i ever just relax a little. i think not.

~sigh~

in the meantime i think i'll just enjoy PJ day, cause everyone deserves one every now and then.

don't they????

i'm frickin 25!

so my birthday was yesterday and i just cannot believe that i'm this old. in my mind's eye i still feel like mabye 20 or 21. where has my life gone? and worse, i have no clue what i want to do with my life.

dunno what to do job wise. should i continue as a "administrative assisant" and be un-happy the rest of my life or should i go back to school and better myself? the only problem with this is i draw a blank when i think of what i could go back to study/learn/become.

hmmmmm mabye a:

nurse,

business women,

advertising,
arts (na not all that creative.......),

definetely not legal (ha ha ha)

ummm fuck if i know

what to do, what to do

my mind is running in constant circles. why must i be so GD indecisive? so not fair. wish i had set goals for myself in high school and i so would not be going through all this trauma/drama right now i would be graduated from college and be making the big $$$ ha ha as if anything ever works out the way you want or plan. sigh. if only.

so i'm bored already. 3 days without work and i'm bored already. you would think that i would be sleeping in, relaxing, de-stressing. nope. not me. i'm up at like 8 in the morning ready to go. i got up and cleaned and touched up some paint spots early this morning. so not typical me. it's kinda my way that i deal with things though. if i'm upset or worried i clean. weird.

well it's another hot/humid day and i'm heading in to mom's here shortly to lay and lounge by the pool while i get a killer tan and some skin cancer. i love sun bathing even though it's so not good for you.

anyways. enjoy the week. see ya soon :)

shit storm

yup, this is the best way to describe my life at this moment in time.

shit storm

my family's latest word for our continous string of bad luck that just doesn't seem to be letting up.

the shit storm basically began when the St. Anne Nackawic mill closed down last September. my hubby, my dad and uncle Gary among many other families were affected. 400 + pps were left without a job. making it really hard financially on everyone & extra stress that we did not need.

then my grandmother passed away in november, which still hasn't really actually sunk in for me i still can't belive she's gone. some days i think she's still here and then other's it hits home and i have to cry. i miss her terribly & wish i could hear her laugh one more time. she had such an infectious laugh.

then in december my hubby's gram passed away like the week before x-mas. didn't see that one coming at all and it totally ruined the holiday.

couple of months later i lose my government job that i miss still today. wish i was still there and i miss all of the people i worked with. didn't really realize how good i had it there until i no longer had it.

in march i started job from hell at the call center in hartland. a very black time indeed for me. how i hated it there and how when i look back at it all i should have known from the interview that it was a messed up place to work in. but hey it was a learning experience and i at least got out of there.

my mom got injured at her work and had to be off for like two mohths due to her injury

my dad is still laid off waiting for the mill to re-open and praying that wheni t does he is one of the few who gets re-hired.

my cousin tommy (who is more like a brother to me) got injured on the job as well while working at Sabin cymbals and almost lost his hand. thankfully he didn't but he has a long road of physical therapy ahead.

my stupid cat mr. jynks had to go and get run over. god how i miss that damn cat.

had a weak moment on monday and wen't and got another kitten from crazy cat lady who had well over 50+ cats and felt sorry for the one that we brought home. there is something seriousily wrong with this cat as it is constantly shitting diehera that reaks unlike anything i have ever, ever smelled in my life. and it cannot seem to control it's bowles and there is always shit running out of it and ewwwwww. i'm taking it to the vet this afternoon and i'm hoping that it's just worms or something but if not i'm half considring taking it to the animal shelter as i just cannot handle the shit & smell. i've been keeping it in the basement and i feel horrible about doing that but it's better than having shit everywhere. oh and it hates, HATES the litter box and will not use it. god why do you let me make such dumb ass decisions??

wondering what's my latest bad news

well............................

i've been laid off from my job that i have only been at for mabye 3 months.

yup, that's right i'm un-employed. done. fin. didn't have to go to work today and don't have to go back even though he is paying me for 2 more wks of pay. my position has been discontinued and he is seeking someone with more experience to fill in for laura when she goes on her maternity leave in another couple of months. which i totally understand as it was taking me for-ever to figure out and learn the legal end and honestly i probably couldn't see myself there much longer anyways, but it still sucks ASS to be laid off. but at least i will qualify for EI if worst comes to worst which i'm sure it will as there are no jobs in Woodstock and i'm just feeling so sorry for myself today it's pathetic.

i know i should be thinking of the positive things and that when one door closes another always opens but it's just not really sinking home yet that i have no job.

ha ha ha ha ha

oh the joys that life throws at us!!!

i think i need therapy, i can't handle it anymore

quickie

off to the island we ago. i'm so excited i cannot contain myself!!!

only 2 more hrs of work and i'm off to blissfull P.E.I. for four nights and five days!!!! heaven.

let's hope that the weather co-operates.

can't wait to see jilly & "M" to go to sandspit to go on the go-karts & one final trip to Rainbow Valley (even though we have no kids). sad to see this place go as we always wen't there when i was a little kid.

and the most important factor..........

the BEACH! omg. how i love the sand, the ocean, waves.............

~sigh~

cannot stand to wait any longer must go now!!! he he

take care pps i'm sure i'll have lot's of stories to tell when we get back!

i'm out

Tequila!

i'm 24 years old (soon to be 25 in 3 weeks) and last night i did my first shot of Tequila. not the creames like baha rosa or whatever but the actual tequila where you lick the salt, take the shot and eat the lemon ~ shudders~

i always wanted to but was kinda scared and intimated as everyone always says how horrible it is and well quite frankly it tastes like dirty ass/dirty feet but the feeling of acomplishment and the rush of warmth to your stomache is just such a rush! anyways i just had to blog about it as it's a 1st time for something and i want to remember it & it was just funny the way it happend as jill had done one at the B&G and I said that i had never done one and Greg the owner of the bar was like really? and i was like yeah and he just couldn't belive it and so then everyone was like oh you have to try it and peer pressure and all and finally he was like i'll give it to you on the house. i think he just wanted to see me puke but anyways i did it and i didn't puke!! ha ha! yeah, that's my story. pretty lame. oh weel had to blog about something.

nobody is blogging lately. where the hell did everyone go? summer. that's where. everyone is outside, vacationing, at the lake, where ever and really i can't blame them. the summer is already half over & then some and the warm weather will probably only be here for mabye another month (cross our fingers) so get out there and enjoy it! but can't you blog at least once and awhile................geesh!

so i'm getting a little better about the whole cat thing. the first few days were really bad and i thought i kept seeing him everywhere. v. hard and difficult to deal with and it didn't help to see my other cat missing him to. it's still pretty raw and it hurts to think that i won't see him or hear his meow again but it's getting better. life moves on. the bitter endless cycle of life.

i get a break though this week as i asked for friday off as we new brunwickers have "new brunswick day" on August 1st hence a provincial holiday. so long weekend! yippe! hubby and i are planning to go to the island (prince edward island) to go camping and lounge on the beach for 4 days. cannot wait as we have not been there in four years. so anxious to hear the ocean & just relax and read good books on the beach. were going to be meeting up with jilly & "M" as they will be over there also. hoping the weather will be nice and sunny.

anyways i'm out for now :)

Fare thee well Mr. Jynks

my baby kitty cat jynky has passed into another life and my heart is breaking. i'm so angry at myself as i knew the inevitible would happen and as fate would have it, it has.

last night a car hit my baby and left him at the end of our driveway. i should be greatful that he at least was un-marked and looked like himself but i just can't get over the fact that he's gone. i miss him terribly.

i miss his bushey little tail swishing when he walked, i miss the way that he would meow and talk to me, i miss the way that we would cuddle and snuggle in bed and how he loved me to rub his little white feet.

it's so weird because yesterday he was in pretty much all day and we had such a good "bonding" day. he rarely would snuggle with me lately as he was always outside and yet yesterday he did. i just wish that i could go back and not let him out. i can't belive i'm this up set just over a frickin cat but he was my cat, my baby and he would have been two in another month and i can't belive how badly this hurts. i can't stop crying and yet i'm so godamn angry at the same time.

i'm angry at jynky for not knowing better to get off the damn road, i'm angry at the person that hit him, i'm angry at hubby for letting him outside in the first place, i'm angry that it couldn't have been my other cat (as awful as it is to say, but it's true). i'm hoping that it will help to get all of this out cause i'm really not handling the whole greiving thing very well. everywhere i look i see him or want to see him sooo badly. and my other cat i think realizes that something is amiss and he's constantly howling looking for jynky.

i want to vomit,

i want to punch something,

i want to curl up in a ball and cry,

i want to laugh at the pure stupidity of all of this,

but most of all i want my baby kitty back

rest in peace jynky, mommy loves you

one who slays birds

if i were a native american this would be my spirtual name assigned/given to me at birth. because i'm certain that the gods above damned me at birth to kill poor little helpless birds. and no i don't mean any offense to anyone that is native american.

this morning whilst driving to work singing to Gwen Stefani's song "cool" this little sparrow (i think) flew right into my on-coming piece of shit car in a nice little THUMP. i look behind me to see where it landed on the road only to note to myself that it has not been flung dead to the road leaving me only to suspect that it is stuck to the front of my car. EWWWW. continuing on my way (still singing) i seem to forget all about hitting this little creature, funny how easy the mind likes to erase things. i arrive at work thinking to myself only 8 more hours to go, please god get me through this day quickly and painlessly only to get out and sure enough this dad bird is stuck on the front of my car. by now my mind is racing and sreaming OH MY GOD I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH IT but yet at the same time my hand is reaching out ever so slowly to pull it's little wing free from the hood of my car...................

OH MY GOD EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

i fling the little thing across our parking lot in a shudder, straighten up and go in to work like nothing happend at all. only now as i sit here typing this am i recalling what happend this morning. how could i possibly blank out the trauma from this?? v. weird.

sadly my friends this is not the only time this has occured to me. there was this one time with my mom (who was driving) that a sea gull practicly came through the windshield, and another time where i hit a crow...........this is so wrong and it keeps happening to me. i tell you i'm CURSED!!

dun dun dun

in other exciting news besides my bird trauma......

I PASSED! yes, i passed my stupid commisioner of oaths test for work, thank you sweet jesus! a ton of bricks has been removed from my back.

piece of shit car is up & running again but sadly is still not totally repaired, also had to replace a shock on hubbies truck but luckily that was covered under warranty. phew!

growing ever more excited about the stones concert in september. CAN'T WAIT! i will actually have 4 days off in a row. OH MY GOD. my body will probably go into shock.

we are in for a beautiful sunny warm weekend. hoping to spend most of it by mom & dad's pool.

i'm out

holy mofo

i don't know if it's the heat or if i'm just simply a bitch but lately things seem to be not so going my way and totally rubbing me the wrong way.

examples:

piece of shit car. it's never ending, repairs, repairs, repairs $ $ $. nough said

i need to study for this thing that i need to do for work and do you think i can make myself. hell no. but yet at the same time i'm stressing my brain out fretting about this freaking TEST! I hated school and tests!!!!! I could never study, EVER like i'm going to now. stupid, stupid, stupid that's me.

wen't to have my hair cut & highlighted tonight only to discover that my hairdresser only booked me for a cut. no highlights, which I am in desperate, desperate need of as my roots are well over an inch long now. found out that she won't be able to get me in again until 3 frickin weeks! how am i supposed to go this long i ask? guess i'll just have to look like a complete total dork for the next month. GREAT

where my piece of shit car is down and out for the count right now i have been driving hubbies big ass tank of a truck to work, only to suffer several jokes from fellow co-workers and lots of stares while driving. i feel like i'm driving a tank for godsakes it doesn't help to have pps stare. the only bonus to this situation is that the truck has air conditioning.

not only is piece of shit care costing us lot's of $ but we had to replace the battery in the truck last weekend.........like we needed this also

got suckered to go wheelin & fishing (which i sooooo did not want to do) on sunday. hubby whined and dined and got his way. i did enjoy myself (minus the allergies, grass & pollen is just brutal!) to some extent but i would have much rather loungd by the pool all afternoon gossiping with jilly but sadly no. instead i fried my frickin shoulder & neck on one side (yeah i really look like a freak with dark brown roots & one side all red! ha ha) which hurts like a son of a bitch and to make matters worse while driving my "tank" to work the seat belt rubs and chafes my neck all to hell which makes it hurt a lot worse.

i so didn't know how to spell chafe and i so just looked it up in the dictionary. god i'm a loser.

had an old fart in a beat up pick up pull right out in front of me this morning and i so wanted to run into him and run him off the road. is this normal? i think i need therapy.

really disgusted lately as this is my third summer in a row that I am unable to take any vacation/time off of work. so not fair and all this nice weather lately is not helping matters. i should be truly grateful that i have a good job and all but man being a new employee sucks ass.

finally weighted myself the other night and i'm not even going there right now...............

i think i'm either:

a) ready to explode from all my anger/tension
b) ready to be commited to a looney bin
c) withdraw from my mind and become comotose
d) severally hurt someone else
e) all of the above

take your pick

Go Casey Go!

Congrats and Way to Go Casey Leblanc!!!!! i'm so excited and proud that you have made it to the top 10 of Canadian Idol. I'm sure you will do us New Brunswickers proud. Stay true to you and i'm sure you will go the distance. You've defintely got my vote.

There was a huge ralley in Nackawic today (jilly, sharol & mom and I all wen't) to show our support for Casey and let me say that even I was a little surprized as to how many pps showed up. I hope that here fan base continues to grow across Canada as she truly is an amazing talent.

The weather has been fab and i can't say that i have much to bitch about right now. life is going good (for now) and i'm sure the summer is going to be hot and muggy (at least i hope so).

haven't really had time or the effort to blog lately and i apoligize (for those that do ocassionally read) but i don't really have any news or anything to talk about besides Canandian Idol.

I can't really believe that we are almost done June and into July and that next weekend is Canada day weekend. Long weekend ~ Yipee!!

my mom and dad and sharol are going to travel to "upper Canada" (aka Ontario) to visit sarah & joel. little jealous but i'm sure I will get out another time. i just don't feel comfotable asking for time off or work as i just started like a little over a month ago. so i have to miss out this time. :(

so this leaves me and hubby to look after mom & dad's pets (2 cats and 1 dog who is the biggest baby/pain in the ass in the whole wide world - i think bernie has to be at least 11-13 now and he's terrified of thunder showers, i'm praying that the tempature will drop and that there won't be one in the near future) so that's always fun (rolling eyes) but i'll manage.

ummmm not much else new/going on

i'm out for now fun seekers!

I scream, You scream, We all scream for ICE CREAM!!

oh my god

the craving is just not going away...........

must have ice cream.........

yum..............

.....................................................

ok, sorry about that but i dunno why i get like this but it seems that every summer nothing is any better than a nice (big ass) scoop of ice cream in a cone. now you would think my craving would have wen't away last night when I had a cone (or two) of ice cream at my mom's last night. but no. instead my craving has only intensified and now it's all i can think about.

yummy wonderfullness melting in my mouth. ok, stop it dammit you cannot have ice cream. no, no no. ok, i think my urge is gone.

onto other productive/entertaining news:

Canadian Idol officially starts tonight! yippee, so excited and can't wait to watch. rooting for the chick from Saint John (came to Canada from Cuba), hope she does well.

So need to see Mr. & Mrs. Smith, hearing nothing but good things about it thus far.

Can you believe that wacko jacko got off on all charges??!! is this not wrong?

There may have actually been a "twister"/tornadeo hit a farm area just above Woodstock yesterday as the weather has been very weird and wild lately. Was very scary yet amusing yesterday though when our local radio station broadcasts that a twister just hit and that there may be more in the area...........local pandamodium soon followed! needless to say was very entertaining even though nothing major happened. the local yokles had a great time with this one and i'm sure they will for weeks to come.

So need to get the new Killers CD, love, LOVE there new song "All these things that I have done", i wen't to the local radio shack last week to purchase all excited and the stupid mofo's don't even have it in stock. i really do not live in the right area...........

found out the other day from sissy that my dad's side of the fam dam is having a reunion sometime in August, would like to get feedback from my cousin's (if you still read, that is) on whether or not they are going or if they know any more than i do as of now i hardly know anything................

that's all i can sum up right now, running out of thoughts and idea's

Chinease food, Idol and Dancing

ment to blog yesterday as these events all occured yesterday....but you know how things are

for starters I have never craved Chinease food in my life but this entire week all i could think about was chicken balls and rice......mmmmm chicken balls. so i get to thinking that i could get jilly and mom and jilly's mom to go over for the buffett in Houlton, ME. but sadly eveyone (except jilly) wanted to wait until this coming sunday. no good for me need chicken balls now!!

so finally wednesday arrives (which just so happens to be canadian money at par & buffett) and jilly and i walk at our noon hour and discuss our "cravings" for chinease. sadly, she still wanted to wait for sunday. so i thought to myself ok, i'll hold off.......

well, around 3 in the afternoon i get a call from ms. jilly herself stating that sandy couldn't go on sunday and that we can go tonight afterall! this just made my day!! so happy!! so we go after work and it was the bestest chinease ever! could not get enough and then we had this to die for ice cream that was part of the buffett.......mmmmmm mouth watering just thinking about it. yum.

so i come home last night full and happy (the happiest i've bene all week) only to come home to an empty house, dirty dishes, dirty floor and my mood is starting to slip a little. but trying to keep hapy i turn on some tunes and take at the mound of dishes.....

several hours later it's almost idol time. have i mentioned that i love this show? and if i could sing even a little how i would so go and try out, but sadly no i cannot carry a tune so i just sit back and watch. it's very exciting this year though as there is a young girl (Casey LeBlanc) who lives darn close to where I do so i will be rooting for her. there's also lot's of other good pps but i still don't know everyone's names yet but i'm sure i will try to do a weekly re-cap as i did with American Idol. so idol was fab and guess what's on next...........

now don't laugh at me but (god this is corney) I really enjoy the show Dancing with the Stars. Even in all it's cheesy ness I cannot help but watch it and Joey from New Kids on the Block is on it and that just makes it even better (and he's still hot!!!). Secret fantasy number 34 is to one day be a ball room dancer myself so this show is just soooooo fun! check it out sometime.

anyhoo that's all that's new with me thus far. i'm out

it's frickin FREEZING

why?!!!

where did the nice x-treme hot weather go?

ever since sunday morning i have been freezing i tell you FREEZING!!!! I cannot possibly get warm no matter what i do and believe me i have tried pretty much everything and anything. hot bath - didn't work, curling up under heavy warm blanket - didn't work, hot chocolate - didn't work, roll in the hay (he he) - didn't work. my little hands are like blocks of ice and i swear the tip of my nose is numb.

stupid weather. one day hot and then wham BAM it's like 2 degrees out, totally no in between point.

grrrrrrrrrrrr

so not fair. need to move to like Arizona or something as i love the hot weather.

typical stupid monday, work blew goats and everything just rubbed me the wrong way today. i'm just downright in a bitchy mood and don't feel like talking to anyone & i'm FREEZING. mabye i'm ill and dying? hmm ya think...........na i'm just a whiny baby.

Camping trip

yup, our first official camping trip of the season was yesterday at Grand Lake. have i mentioned that i love to go camping. nope, didn't think so.

despite the black flies, allergies, the heat, the cold, peeing outside, walking around in the dark and hearing unexplained noises in the dark.........I can think of nothing more fun to do on a hot sunny day. and yesterday was perfect.

here's a run down:

- the day started off early and hot as hell, just the way i like it
- could not locate tent and camping supplies as we moved mid summer last year and did not do any camping. we had to do a lot of digging to find our stuff (still missing our tent pegs)
- had a mini argument with hubby (typical when we go camping)
- wen't to the beer store to stock up on supplies & licqour
- met up with jamie & krystal, jill and julie at the beer store, start to tee hee in anticipation of getting severally loaded
- drive for probably 30+ min to get to grand lake
- drive around another 15+ min to ask someone to allow us to put in the boat (note to pps that own a camp at a lake, give some poor pps like us a break -k-) meet several snobby pps who preety much sumed it up to go *#$%! off
- finally locate a boat loading place - and were off to spruce point!
- load up geer and bail in the boat
- arive at island and start to set up camp & tent
- takes us a few min to locate spot big enough to fit the "Sheridon" (our tent is HUGE will hold 10-12 pps)
- get the tent erect and try to battle the bugs as they are really bad and hungry as hell and massive
- 2nd boat load arrives
- after un-loading the boat we proceed to let the "drinking" begin and i set up shop in a camp chair in the water with drink
- spent the entire afternoon here with the girls
- started to get really good buzz on
- getting sleepy
- went for swim to avoid sleepy feeling
- started to come around but decided may be best to lay off for a bit
- sun went under and got really cloudy
- bugs got prety bad again
- supper time!
- noticing that everyone else is getting prety drunk, except me, time to catch up only problem is i only have one drink left....
- go for a boat ride and see some baby geece and some gorgeous camps, wish i had money like that
- starting to feel good again
- back at camp and sitting around the fire eating marshmellows
- laugh at jilly and julie in their drunkiness
- almost choke on a marshmellow while laughing
- laugh some more
- lots of discussions on "brownies", will have to explain in another blog
- extreme laughing fit caused by jilly saying that she felt like Cindy Nicholson (again, will explain another time, some may already know...)
- tried to drink but just couldn't get into it as i was v. tired and my back was starting to cause me problems from sitting for so long
- jill, julie and hubby decided to battle it out and see who the last man standing would be
- curl up on air mattress and try to sleep but it's so damn cold (in my rush to get ready i only brought 1 sleeping bag and 1 warm fuzzy sheet, so not smart).
- freeze my damn ass of all night
- listen to the rain fall on the tent & pray that it won't thunder
- freeze some more &have to pee and i really do not want to get out in this cold
- it's finally morning, early morning and i'm ready to come home
- everything is damp, cold and wet
- tear down camp as thunder starts to roll in the distance
- pack everything up and load up the boat after breakfast
- make it back to shore just as it starts to sprinkle rain
- i don't think i could have been any happier to feel heat in my life!

that about sums it up in a nut shell. lots of god laughs, got lots of sun, and had an all around good time (except for the cold part).

Strange Sightings

that's right cue the X-files music

1. an old man mowing his lawn is fairly normal you may say but while watching him on his little riding lawn mower he appears to either be: a. drunk or b. asleep as he suddenly runs right into his house, sadly i missed the rest as i was driving by and had to avoid running into something myself.

2. an old women driving along (yup, i'm picking on the old folks) who also as it appears happens to be sleeping at the wheel as well. at least she's in a larger vehicle and may cause less damage to herself.....or not. anyways, when I crossed her path her head was tilted off to one side and her car was veering along with it.

3. have you ever watched people in a large parking lot, say, at a grocery store or mall? i always find this very entertaining. anyways, while observing pps i happend to notice a middle age lady putting away her groceries as any normal person would, only to glance again and realize that it was a man

4. encountered a middle aged man (probably between 50-55 will say) who had a fro. that's right a mofo fro. his head of hair was massive and would put any africian american to shame. i wanted to laugh but i couldn't so i kinda bit my lip and i think he knew that i was muffling a laughing fit at his hair. it was kinda like molely mole from austin powers but worse. anyways, his hair tramatized me, seriousily, it was this wild mass of curly gray hair.....oh the trauma!! i will probably need therapy thanks to him.

5. witnessed a squirrel attack/chase a cat. squirrel was actually bigger than cat so i'm betting that he won (did not stay for the final round)

6. saw a mamma geece and her little family walking along the road, i'm sure someone probably came along and clipped one of them as the cute little bastards would not get off the road.

7. wanted to go back and pick up little duckling as they were so cute and fluffy and yellow and I wanted to keep it for myself as a pet

8. on connell road today a man had his car up on the sidewalk near the golf course with his flashers on not sure if he was broke down, in an accident or what but he was just sitting there as casual as anything with his music and sunglasses on..........very odd

9. it is ACTUALLY warm outside, and the sun is out!!! omg

10. was hanging out my laundry tonight and a huge flying ant flew right down my shirt, i screamed and ripped my shirt off, trying to find this grose disgusting thing that is fluttering around inside my shirt (ekkkkkkk!), I end up flinging it off of me as it was clinging to my tank top (had a zip up hoodie on), proceeded to scream get it off, GET IT OFF!! finally kill the bug and turn around to see hubby rolling on the floor in the kitchen laughing his ass off. what a way to end the day.