tick tock

you know as a kid Alice in Wonderland was like my favorite, a) cuz she was blonde (like me) b)it was totally off the wall and c)the little white rabbit that was always late, whom I have a love/hate realtionship with (i'll explain after)

In the 80's there was an actual movie made (not the cheap cartoon, hate that) called Alice in Wonderland through the Looking Glass (or something like that - pic above), with a white and dark night, the jabberwalkie, etc. I loved this movie. In fact I loved it so much I hunted it down on eBay and bought both VHS tapes. yeah, crazy I know but I had to have it. (i'll google it and try to post a pic for ya later)

just one of those things

also another one of those things and the reason i'm so off topic here is that I hate, hate being late for anything. doesn't matter what it is, if I have an appointment i have to be on time or early. in fact I think i inherited this from my father as he doesn't like to be late either, I was early for my own wedding. who the hell is early for their wedding! isn't the bride supposed to be late??

anyways, so whenever i'm late I always here that damn rabbit in my head from Alice in Wonderland screaming "I"M LATE, I'M LATE, I'M LATE LATE LATE!"

weird i know, but I can't help it

and it totally puts me on edge

oh, and I also hate when things do not go my way

sigh

can't I control everything? I feel like I could turn into the hulk here....

NKOTB

fer shizzle!!

not only is the new video out, but I have tickets to see them in concert in September!!

HEE!!

i think i peed a little

pictures! take two...randomness

calgon take me away (again)

jilly & I at dinner (nite before wedding), hammered out of my tree here (which is so obivious)

I would also like to note that as usual, i look bad and miz jilly looks fab

hee! don't ask, this is after one to many daiquiris

view of our room (I ment to take before all our crap was in it..ah well)

part of the gang at dinner

the hubs and I

i'm not sure why i'm posting this other than the fact that it is somewhat humourous (and yes that's my ass, and no that's not a big mole on the right that's my gay ass tattoo of a lady bug)

moi on the bunch reading

ok, i must mention that we lost our camera for 2 days and this was our 1st 2 pics (the one above and below) that we took after getting it back. we were just so happy/greatful to have the camera back, we had to take a pic...

moi

and again

view of another boat from our boat (we went snorkeling)

view of our pool & swim up bar

view of the beach

view from our balcony

so pretty! they were everywhere, and the noises they would make...sigh I wanna go back

my mamma and I

the hubs

my dad (he looks so happy here) you'd have to know that every pic of my dad he is always either a)fake smiling or b)so somber/serious so this is a rare find to get one where is is actually smiling for real

the gang in the pool

doreen/moi/momsie/julia chillin in the pool (drunk, again)

and lastly, I leave you with.....

my husband's ass!!

pictures! (finally) take one..Wedding

moi getting my hair done

Miz Jilly aka the bride getting beautified

musical trio that was playing while the bride walked in & after the ceremony, this truly made it a "festive" affair. If i was technically inclined I would load the video for you so you could hear it, but that ain't going to happen. sorry. but the pic will have to do

this is a shot of the gazebo that they were married in

the bride arriving by horse carriage (so romantic!)

the bride & dad walking in (I love the look on Jill's face, she looks so happy!)

bride & groom exchanging vows

the bride & her girls (Julie on the left and me on the right)

bride & groom celebrating with a toast

brides parents also celebrating to raising a beautiful daughter

wedding party

bride & groom

the bride posing beautifully (so pretty)

bride & all her girlfriends that went on the trip (by this point the sweat was just rolling down my back & legs, so humid & hot and it was only 10:30/11:00 in the morning!)

awww

a fairytale ending

~and they lived happily ever after ~

Jill & Mark

May 13, 2008

back into the grove

sorry ya'll, my bad for not posting or talking about my fab trip

but ever since i've been back i've been, well in a funk

i feel like i'm in a fog, numb and to be honest sort of stupid. people ask me things here at work and i'm all "deer caught in headlights" like "huh", "what did you just say". really not good, at 1st I thought it may be due to alcohol withdrawl but that should've passed a couple weeks ago...

just plain weird

and the weather is shitty ass and cold here

yes, i'll be posting pics of the trip (someday), i'm just lazy and tired, ok

i thought i'd come back from vacay all fresh and revived, that lasted a day

sigh

same old same old in this neck of the woods

i'll get back to normal eventually.....i hope

from the desk of flea

*from mizz flea flea's exec. assistant on behalf of mizz flea flea who is "stressing out" to the max trying to pack and all that "shit" becuz she is now 7 days away from her much needed vacay. she would like to sincerely apologize for her lack of visits to your blog sites & the shortage of her posts here (note, she wasn't blogging much in the first place, duh, i'm so not paid enough..). She would like me to point out (and oh yes she's here but she is hollering from another room on what I should be saying here, I may point out that she is frantically searching for a pair of Capri pants that I sooo ruined last summer by spilling soda on them and I totally ditched them without her knowing! haha ok what was I/she saying??)

oh right

she's "stressed"

ok ok we get it already

moving on

she also doesn't want to "rub it in" that she will be in sunny paradise for a week (biatch), sipping on fruity tropcial drinks while sunning herself on the beach

so she prob. won't be around here for a couple of weeks (thank god!)

she would like me to say much love to you all & see you on the flip side!

xoxo
miz flea flea (whateverh)

snot or not

sure sometimes we can all be a little snotty, bitchy, whatever you want to call it and I hate to judge people without knowing them, but gosh why is it so darn hard?

for instance

let's say that this new guy started at your workplace, younger perhaps only a couple years older than yourself (and your not exactly a spring chicken anymore in your late gasp 20's!), so will say he is 30 - 35 and what instantly cause me to dislike him was that he walked right in the office, past me (i'm the 1st point of contact @ reception), not even acknowledging me, and yes this is one of my things that irritate me anyways, like hello that's why you have a receptionist in the 1st place is to "screen" people. geesh. anyways, off topic. so he walks by me with this sort of air of arrogance & coffee in hand (for 2) to my bosses office, instantly i'm thinking hmm...sure enough he's the new guy, already sucking up to the boss!! so that's one tick off of him instantly. then as the day goes on I happen to notice (and i don't usually notice much as i'm so not observant) his annoying laugh. like picture a bill & ted laugh. total stoner!! and after 8 hours of this honest.to.god. at 1st it was amusing and I almost broke down in hysterical snickers sitting at my desk listening to him (in my workplace you can hear EVERYTHING) but by 5 I wanted to choke him. seriously.

but why? he could be a nice guy, perhaps just nervous and who wouldn't be nervous on a 1st day meeting people. but I.don't.like.him. I can't explain it, but I don't think I will ever grow to truly like him sure i'll be friendly and what not in the office but if I were to see him outside of work I wouldn't make eye contact, and in fact would walk quickly away

but why? I think I get along with everyone and i'm friendly & outgong but there are just certain people or personalities that I don't mesh with. does that make sense?

say WHAT?!

i can't believe ya'll thought I was preggers

NOT funny
or
cool

but i'm not (thankfully, is that wrong of me to say or wish that??)

don't even get me going on the whole "baby" thing

ain't happen anytime soon

nough said

cuz

miss flea flea is a selfish biatch, and she comes 1st (for now)

anyhoo

movin on...

in other happenings

you know you are from a very small town when the most exciting news is
a)that the ice is going out and were on "flood watch"
b)everyone is talking about all the deer that are around, like everywhere
c) the weather finally, finally being nice for a change

i'm so sick of talking about the weather and if one more person says "how nice it is" I may just scream

also i've been meaning to say or mention just how much I love, like i mean love John Mayer. His song say what you mean to say, sigh, i just get so lost in that song, and he's just so adorable. i.love.him

so much to do and so little time

vacation is ever so much closer and i'm beginning to freak out as I haven't shopped for any new clothes, haven't done this or that or even started to pack!

and worst of all i'm so disappointed in myself as I had hoped to lose 10 pounds and well we all know that hasn't happened

not that I have anyone to blame but myself which somehow makes it all worse....

ah well could be worse i guess

anyways I came here with all these ideas on what to write and well they seemed to have left me, so peace out, til next time

my new best friend

this is where I have spent most of my time the last couple of days

minus the fancy dress of course

I haven't been quite this sick in well, at least 2 years

I'll spare u the details & i don't want to re-live them anyways, so disgusting and vile, nough said

aparantly this is running rampant in my area right now, but I still can't quite figure out where I caught it from as nobody I know has had it

still not 100% but sure as hell a lot better than I was at this time yesterday and thank god my new best friend is no longer needed (at the moment)

lazy ass

not sure why exactly but i am so gosh darn lazy this weekend
prob cuz i've been on the go and have a gazillion things running through my brain
so what does a flea flea do
absolutely nothin
ok i did do a little bit of laundry
but that's it
haven't exercised all weekend
i've just laid
and you know what
it feels kinda nice
the only thing that sucks
is
tomorrow is
Monday
wash*rinse*repeat
my life is the same thing week after week
sigh
6 more weeks until my vacay
and it can't come fast enough

no more Mr. Nice Guy

i'm so tired of being the nice guy and having people walk all over me and be shit on

i'm tired of not being paid enough for what I do, and for doing 4 jobs in 1

i'm tired of having people be snarky/cranky/snappy with me and making me feel "small" and stupid

i'm tired of being the admin ass of the office and having to run all over town doing "errands"

i'm
just
so
tired
of
it
all

so why can't I stand up for myself?

why can't I take charge and say hey you, I want more money or else

cuz i'm a wuss that's why

and I live in a black hole where if I said that they would say hit the road jack, we can find someone who would be more than happy with what we pay you

jobs are few and far between and i have no choice but to sit and take the shit and enjoy the ride

oh
what
fun

DAYUM!

the boys are all grown up!

now i'm even that more excited for tomorrow's appearance on the today show

p.s. is Danny kinda hot now?? weird

it IS TRUE!!

omg

omg

omg

OMG!!!!!

I just did the running man cuz i'm soooo freakin excited for this!!

I know nobody else prob cares, like I care but it's official, New Kids are somewhat back, at least performing on the Today show (according to the Queen Perez Hilton @ perezhilton.com), and what's even crazier is that it's the 20th anniversary since Hanging Tough came out.

now that just makes me feel old

and it is possible that maybe a reunion tour is in the works

come to Canada please!! cuz i'm so there

i should be ashamed

but i'm not

razzle dazzled frazzled!

so much to do and so little time...

time is flying lately, i only have 6 weeks before we go away and i have not lost a single pound. have i been trying very hard, not really, but i have been doing my tae bo at least 3 times a week & snowshoeing on the weekends. i know i am in better shape as i don't get quite so winded/short of breath, but my outer appearance has not changed a bit.

i need to kick it in full diet mode

my 1st accomplishment this week (a round of applause please) was, no McDonald's this week, none, zilch, zero, i'm so proud of myself!!! i typical at least have this once a week (on some occasions twice..) so this is HUGE. if i can cut this out, and not eat after 7 plus continue working out heavily, surely to god some weight will come off...!!??

oh

and I got the DRESS!!!

the winner was option #3 (see post below, i'm not technically inclined to do a link to it), in the fab color purple aka "grape" which is the official color name. it's quite fab i must say and just what I was looking for, flowy but not too flowy and purple is my fav color

gram has moved and has improved a lot the last couple of weeks, she's doing so much better and i'm surprized at how well she is taking everything in stride. jilly and i met her for lunch the other day and witnessed her making a new friend!! she's never really been a social butterfly but i think that is what she has been missing/lacking and hopefully this will be a really good thing for her and the new digs she is in has me jealous, everything is brand sparking new and top of the line, this place is absolutely gorgeous!!


my poor ole car has finally caved, had the biscuit, going to the junk yard. i shouldn't have been surprized i knew it would happen eventually, but i was so not expecting it. in fact i just registered the GD thing again for another year (ahem $90) 2 days before the piece of shit broke down on me. we called several junk yards to see if we could get the part that is needed and they all told us "good luck", said its very hard to find and i'm not paying $500+ just for a new part to put on a car that is on its last leg, so now i'm car less and missing it like crazy. its weird how attached i was, i mean it was my 1st car and all and frankly the last few years i was hating it a little but i still loved it in a way. so not i'm driving the hubs half ton, which feels like i'm driving a tank compared to my small little car and costs a bloody fortune to run.

sigh

rants are so much fun!!

my sissy is coming!!

my fabulous sissy is flying in tonight and my dad and I are on our way to the airport later this evening to pick her up!!!

*update, her flight was cancelled and she's now coming in at a later time (boo)

i haven't seen her since October, so i'm really stoked for her visit and thankfully she is here for a longer period this time around.


oh and i forgot to mention


were planning on getting majorly shit faced to celebrate miss jilly's up-coming wedding, a sort of stagette if you will


this is much needed


so needless to say it should be a sweet visit

oh

and happy Easter everyone

light at the end of the tunnel

there is a god and he is GOOD!

finally some good, no, GREAT, no, what's better than great...?

FANTASTIC

news

we just did our tax returns and we are getting some $$$$

superfantastic

now we can pay off our credit cards and breathe a somewhat sigh of relief

a short lived relief but a relief

it's been a long, long winter and it's been rough

the weather has sucked

we've struggled financially

and i can't wait to get those cheques in the mail

speaking of the weather we have another 2 storms coming at us, one Saturday and another BIG assfucker on Monday.

sigh will it ever end

i just hope we can still go to shopping so i can get my dress already! thanks to everyone for the feedback, it was very helpful, i hope they have dress #3 in colors that I like as it's the one i'm leaning more towards

and another thing, not sure if it's becuase everyone is staying in this winter but man there are a lot of freaking pps i know that are preggers. i'm scared to drink the water!

anyways, that's the latest and greatest in my world

peace out :P

ennie, meanie, mineie, moe

so we all know (or you may not) that I am Maid of Honor for my fabulous cousin miss jilly's wedding in May, in Punta Cana. I've tried well, several dresses that just aren't what i'm looking for, and alas most don't fit or flatter my "hour glass" figure.

so miss jilly and I have been scouring the Internet, Macy's, Sears, David's Bridal and Alfred Angelo, miss jilly has contacted a local Bridal shop that is closing and has Alfred Angelo's dresses at 50%, these are a few that she has in stock, in my size (and no i am not telling what size that is :P )

Dress #1, I have no idea if they have it in this color, but it's the color that I like most for a tropical wedding..
Dress #2, again not sure what color they have or even if this burnt orange would look good on me (i tend to be kinda pasty white), but I really luv this color for some reason....

Dress #3, again no clue what colors they have but this is more what I want or am looking for it's flowing, lose, and simple..

Dress #4 isn't really an option as the store doesn't have it in stock, but I just had to put it here because if i wasn't such a procrastinator this would be the dress. i absolutely love this dress, but sadly not an option, so instead I can look at it and wonder... and dream

so i need help, which one do you like most??

i won't know until next weekend as we aren't going to the shop until Saturday but any help or suggestions would be appreciated as i'm totally lost on this one

wind me up

ugh, the last few days have just been crazy

and i'm so glad it is the weekend

i'm even happier that i only have 20 minutes left to burn here at the office, this has to be the longest day ever! EVER!

Gram's out of the hospital, currently at home with care but she will be moving into a residential seniors complex that offers full-time care, provides meals, cleaning services and all that jazz. I just hope that this works, something tells me that it won't but that's putting the cart before the horse...so she's moving next weekend, which makes me really sad as i'm sure that the family will probably sell the house which is hard as I have so many fond memories of that house and it also means that I will have to deal with a new neighbor as we live right next door.

a lot to deal with and process

and i hate change

oh, and i'm freaking out about finding a "brides maid" dress for miss jilly's wedding in May. I have a certain image & color in my head and I cannot find a dress that I like at all, and i've tried several on. i'm getting very frustrated as nothing seems to flatter me or i can't find anything that fits. i need to do some type of cleansing diet where I can lose like 10 pounds in a week, or maybe i just shouldn't eat a la Nicole Ritchie....

nah

i like to eat too much!

i've also still been exercising 5 days a week and I feel better and maybe a little toner, but other than that nada.

and is anyone else really sad about Patrick Swazye? man i had a huge crush on him from Dirty Dancing and to here that he's dying. sad, sad sad

other than that i got nothing

happy friday

look out, cuz here it comes..

major bitch rant ahead

you know what i really hate, is when people don't clean there cars off properly after a snow storm. like how freaking lazy do you have to be. i mean i'm lazy, but i clean my damn car off cuz i know that at some point there will be people behind me, suffering from my laziness

assfuckers

i also hate, pot holes, and every 5 feet i'm hitting one (or two), and my old beat up car can't take much more, it's bad enough that I have no shocks in my car (i'm to broke/cheap to fix them) but not i think i have whiplash from hitting all of these "holes", and some of them are bottom less pits, fer real.

stupidGDassfuckers

oh, and that's another thing, I have been swearing like a mofo lately

like what the hell? normally i only swear a little but lately it's even coming to a front at work, which hardly every happens. i try my best to maintain the general 1st impression that people have of me, which is that i'm quiet, sweet, friendly, innocent. haha man if they only knew and today, well some of them saw/caught glimpse of the "dark" side. like for instance today i'm insanely busy, running around like the gopher that I am (and that's so what admin staff are, and i hate, hate it, sigh) and i'm re-loading our damn printer yet again (that's another thing, can nobody else open the tray and put in paper? geesh), and somehow i ram my thumb down in on something sharp driving it up under my nail. hurt like a sonofabitch. so i said the f-word. oh fuck it i said fuck. there. much better. and fellow co-worker was like dude, did you just say what i think you said. umm yeah buddy i did. he must've known from my look to not say another word as i was literally shooting him daggers. my poor thumb still hurts too.

and sadly this is the tip of the ice burg

i have way to much on my mind lately

money woes
un-satisified at work (ok, not all the time, but generally speaking most days not happy)

and the absolute worst is my ailing grandmother. i can't even put into words what kind of stress this has put us all in (esp. my mom and aunt, who are both nurses and there sibilings seem to place everything on them). we've known for awhile that we've needed to do something (i.e. nursing home) but nobody wants to face or deal with this and sadly i think we are the point of no turning back. the last week she's had constant care/supervision as she's so unstable/weak, she's fallen a couple of times and at one point wasn't making coherant sentances. docs say that she think she may have suffered a stroke, or be in the early stages of alzheimer's. as of right now she has been admitted to the hopsital in hopes that she can gain some strength back.

i'm finding it very difficult to be positive on this. while i remain hopeful that she will come out of this, i can't help but have this dark cloud of doubt or gut feeling that something (i.e. death) is around the corner. perhaps i'm being dramatic, or mabye even trying to somewhat prepare myself should something happen, i dunno, i just can't shake this queezy feeling though.

oh, and i'm lacking in the sleep department, yet again

for example last weekend all i wanted more than anything was to sleep and sleep and sleep some more. woke up in the a.m. could not go back to sleep for the life of me. and i'm so tired

oh, and we have yet another, freakin A1 of a snowstorm coming tomorrow afternoon. i need to take some pics of our yard (i.e. snowbanks) so ya'll can see how much freakin snow we have. its just plain sickening.

bloody GD snow, how i loathe thee

sigh

i'm going to bed and pulling up the covers and not coming out

burnt toast

i'm burnt out
fried
tired
dun in
can't do no more and trying to kill 20 minutes is torture
TORTURE!
just wanna go home, curl up and
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
TGIF

and for some v. odd reason I keep smelling bleach/chlorine???
wtf??

on another note
a more positive note
it's now 2 1/2 months until my trip away!!! yippee
sunshine, beaches, waves, fruity rum punch drinks...
ahhh
happiness
and the only GD thing i have to look forward too

happy Friday
check ya later :P

hold up..wait a minute..

let me put your back up in it...

*shake that ass*

sorry, got caught up in the moment

random tid bits floating thru ma brain...

so i had a fab weekend away with "the girls" aka mommy, auntie sharol and miss jilly. went to Halifax specially to see the musical Cats which was delightful. We were very close to the stage (9 rows back) and I was privy enough to have the isle seat, thanks to auntie sharol (who i think later regreted that..), so i could see very well, the other's not so much. i went into this not knowing a whole lot about the play and i was surprized as to how much dancing their was. was truly a memorable evening and sadly the rest of us could not get the song "Mr. Mistoffelees" out of our heads. ah good times.

so i'm exhausted, didn't get much sleep over the weekend as Halifax is 5 hours away, and we left Friday on shitty roads and arrived v. late & arrived back late from the play.

so i'm bug eyed
and having my lovely monthly flow
which leaves me bloated, headachy and even more tired if that's possible
but on the positive side
the exercise helps
who would've though that I of all people would ever say that?
weird
and i'm like the laziest person i know
and i'm so addicted to working out
my latest work out tape is...
god i hate to admit it

Tae Bo Amped

I bought the set at Cosco on Sunday and just did tape 2 of 5
that shit is HARD
and fierce
and i totally can't stand Billy Blanks or his daughter
but
damn if i come out of this looking like anyone of the girls in the video i'm freaking happy
and
i probably won't be able to walk tomorrow

how is it possible to be so tired yet so awake?

work is frustrating
i can't even put into words why and i can't say that i want to explain it
i'm overworked and severely underpaid
and sick as hell of doing what i do
wish i had the $$ to go back to school and take something so i can make more $$ than i am now
make sense
prob not

just a glimpse of what runs thru my brain

anyways, peace out gotta go watch Idol (or at least try)

catch ya later

quickie

i'm at work, and i know i shouldn't be on here...but

it's friday and i'm going away for the weekend and i totally DO NOT have anything to muster for work today. oh and it's snowing AGAIN! this is like the 3rd snow this week.

and i'm leaving work early today!!! HEE!!!

i feel like i haven't been here in forever...need to catch up

work is going....
exercise is still going (somewhat)
diet isn't really going to well....
and that's about it

peace out, i'll fill you in on my weekend on monday (hopefully)

happy friday

you know it's going to be a BAD day when...

a) you walk into your office 1st thing in the morning and 2 of your fellow co-workers are full on battling it out, like yelling, screaming, red faces and man the tension in the air was FIERCE. i wanted to walk right back out. sadly, i think one of them quit....and i liked him

b) yet another co-worker snaps at you over your lunch hour "time" (i.e. when I go and get back)like wtf? back the eff off, sadly i didn't say this back to her but it really put me in a pissy mood

and lastly the realy dousy

c) i finally leave the office hoping for nothing more than some peace, quiet and mabye a stiff drink of some sort and i notice that a van is blocking me in. no prob i think i can back up and get out that way. whatev. then i notice a man sitting in said van, running. now i'm slightly annoyed by this but continue on my marry way (thinking of that said drink), get in my car, start her up trying not to make eye contact with said creepy guy in van (why are van's so creepy?) and proceed to back up, when i glimpse out of the corner of my eye "said" creepy man gets out of his van and is flagging me down.

1st thought is to continue driving, like hello stalker, 2nd thought is perhaps he was trying to tell me he could move his van...so like the idiot that i am i stop and roll down my window smiling oh so sweetly, thinking to myself keep it short & sweet buddy....and he's like ummm your back tire is almost flat. and sadly i look back and you guessed it it's going flat. sonofabitch. i smile oh so sweetly again (more painful this time, honestly) and back away. getting as far away from creepy guy as possible (yes, he was nice but still creepy) i frantically call the hubs and ask what to do, cuz hello, i have no clue, i would just drive one it but some part of me knows that is BAD. so i pull over, call the hubs who doesn't really give me much instruction. "umm you just go to a gas station and put air in the tire".

well duh. HELLO never done this before. so i go to gas station #1 which thankfully is right beside my work. pull up by the air thingy, look at it and think yeah that's not happening and try to find a man. god, i hate that and hate admiting that but there it was and yes i said it. i go into the gas station where there's a "boy" no more than 16 to ask for assistance and he looks at me like "cha, not happening" (lasy ass fucker, fleetingly passes through my mind) apparantly their air machine is broke.

ok, great. moving on to gas station #2 which is another few feet from my work (i'm now really ticked off) arrive at gas station #2 again have no clue how to run the damn machine or how to insert air into my tire, than a miracle, i see someone i know. ok, i haven't seen him since our graduation (aham almost 10 years ago, but he's on my facebook and it's someone i KNOW!), admist my panic induced state i plead him for help. he kindly abligizes, i'm SAVED. then he says "uh oh" what? huh? the machine is broke he says. ARE U KIDDING ME! i want to scream or cry at this point and this so called friend from way back when just looks at me and says you'll have to go back to the store (that i've already been too!) HA! guess what it's broken too i say. "that's so weird" he says, you'll have to try either this place or that place (which is across town). so i proceed to drive all that way across town to yet store #3 on my flat tire solo. friend did volenteer to follow me but i stated i was fine (i was far from fine but whatev).

i arrive at store #3, insert my $0.50 that i had to scrounge to find into the stupid air macine that i'm really hating right now....and nadda. no sound, no air coming out, nadda. god truly hates me. i walk into the store, wait patiently in line and ask the clerk (again 16, where are the adults?) if the machine is broken. she looks at me like i'm an idiot and is like "well i'll turn it on in here if it works it works, if it doesn't than it's broken", umm ya think? i feel like screaming. so i then asked for change so i could put in the $0.50 and she's like "oh, you don't need that" like it is the most obivious thing in the world. hello the freaking machine has a coin slot and $0.50 beside it....sigh. can i go home now? i trudge back out to the car, turn on the machine and alas it works!! god doesn't hate me! now to get the air in my tire....ok it took me a little bit and i didn't really think it was working but the air went in!! the tire was no longer flat. i DID it on my own. afer all that freakin running around i did it on my own. so now i know how to put air in a tire. who knew that when i woke up this morning, that would be the 1 thing that i learned new today...i sure as hell didn't

jeebus what a day

all by myself

the hubs is out, leaving me home alone and quite desolte & lonely and not really sure why. typically when he goes out i enjoy the break god knows we each need our own time. but for some reason i'm lonely and somewhat scared.

yes, it's dark (which i don't like) and it's v. creepy home alone & the dogs keep jumping at every freaking sound, thus putting me more at edge.

course it didn't help that i just finished watching Poltergist

and we had a super bad storm last night/this morning making me feel somewhat stranded even though i kow i'm not. weird. i can't explain it.

think it was the movie though

even though i've watched it before i'm creeped out now

that and there isn't a damn thing on tv

and of course i want to eat

what to do, what to do....

it's like this, like that and this and ah

does anyone else remember that song? prob not

anyhoo....

time for some much needed ramblings of mine

i'm still in shock over Heath and still can't quite really believe it. even more so, i'm so sickened by what we as a society have become. he was a private person, kept to himself, his daughter was his life and to glorify his death with pictures all over the Internet of his body being taken from the building in a body bag and the literally thousands of paparatzi's camera bulbs flashing, the hounding of his family and loved ones really is not necessary. and why do we care? sure he was talented, young, with his whole life ahead of him but do we really need to make him another Anna Nicole Smith? would that be what he wanted to be remembered for was his "possible OD" and that he was in broke back mountain? i think not

and can you believe the latest rumour? omg i almost peed my pants!! new kids may be reuniting for a "reunion tour". hee!! like any other young tween that grew up in the late 80's early 90's i was in love, LOVE with this band. and no i'm not ashamed to admit it...ok, maybe a little. but still I loved Jordan, he was my boyfriend (in my mind anyways) and to sadly see him 10+ years later on that reality show (drawing a blank on the name, but I think it was the one with flavor flav and Bridgett Nielsen.....) it just isn't the same. still though i would totally pay to see them in concert now. guess will see if this turns out to be true in the next week or so....as of right now it's up in the air

also

did anyone else watch TLC's "miss reality check" for Miss America? and am I the only one that was severally disappointed because Miss Michigan won? I thought the whole theory of the show was to re-vamp the contest and bring it to a modern age? so then why did they chose a winner, that was such a typical stereotype pageant contest? blond hair, over tanned, tacky ugly fugly dress that was so from the 80's (it was sheer people in the middle and had sheer arms...ugh! i must find a pic somewhere of it....) and her talent was singing, and not even good singing she butchered "some where over the rainbow" in yet another godawful gown. perhaps i'm just bitter that the girl I pegged to win was runner up....i dunno I was totally pissed though. oh and how badly does Mark Steinous blow? the guy from ET, god he was terrible. in fact I can't believe I sat their on a saturday night to watch this for 2 hours. how sad am I?

and i'm soooo sick of hearing about U.S election crap, and it's just beginning. i don't even live in the U.S!

oh and I totally peg Clinton to win

not that i care or anything

sick of American Idol too, LAME stop beating a dead horse already, hating it this year

LOST is on this Thursday!!

rest of TV is crap, when will the writers strike be over?

oh! almost forgot how many pps totally think Angie & Brad are preggers again? me!!!

and congrats to Gwen & Gavin on baby # 2! how awesome is that
and i think that Angie & Gwen totally planned it as they were both pregnant at the same time before....conceidence....i think not

i'm out :P

sadly stunned

Heath Ledger was found dead today of an apparent overdose

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22788914/?GT1=10755

to say i'm shocked, stunned, saddened doesn't even do justice....

i feel in love with him way back in 99' when he stared in "10 things I hate about you" with Julia Stiles (luv this movie) and even though I have never watched Brokeback Mountain i'm sure he was amazing/flawless in this movie. such a talented person.

i shall miss you

Heather Ledger
1979-2007

reflecting

i've been blogging at this site since 2004, that boggles my mind to think that I have been coming here to rant, vent, try to be funny (which i'm totally NOT), try to be cool and basically what ever i needed it for.

the only reason I started this site was because two other friends (one being miz jilly) had blogs and it was the cool thing to do and me being the "follower" that I so am, I just had to have one.

also my other purpose was to stay in touch with family members, my grandmother had just passed away and I wanted to be or needed to be in touch with my family. sadly, that didn't last long and it's sad as to how much a family can drift apart after you take away the main "beam" from the foundation. course one could argue and say we were never really close to begin with but at least we always got together on gram's special occasions or we at least had that "link".

i always blogged from work back then, working in gov't i had it pretty easy and it carried through with me until last year when everything went all to hell. course i shouldn't ever have been blogging from work but it was habit and habits die hard and generally i could type up a post pretty quick (not so much these days). i can't even imagine blogging at work now. weird how things change.

i've had people come and go, a few i feel like are friends as i've been reading there blogs from my beginnings (WC & McBlogger), other's have faded like dust in the wind. i never had/have many comments and for awhile that hurt a little but now i realize i write for me. it's venting for my soul, if someone comments great, if not, no worries. sure i'd love to have 30 comments like beth, or swishy but i don't have the time to write everyday and leave comments on other pps sites (ahem, lazy). and sometimes i just like my little corner just fine with the few pps that do comment, i look forward to their responses. nough said.

i've wanted to just leave this blog several times and call it a day, but, somehow i always come back and think of something else to write about, or i think i can't let it go, it's a part of me. like that old journal that i can't throw away even though it's ratty and torn. someday i can look back (and i often do) and re-read my posts and see where i was in my life 2, 3, 4 years ago.

so

i'm still here

omg the PAIN!

so, as some of you may or not know i'm on a mission to lose 15 pounds. I'm miss Jilly's bridesmaid in her May wedding in the Dominican Republic and dammit I want no I need to be in shape (better yet HOT) and not feel ashamed to wear my bathing suit like my last trip away. the whole time I was self conscious and paranoid even though there were 100's of women bigger than me walking around with less clothes on.

some days i do good other days not so good...

but yesterday I was a good girl, i walked the dogs (about 40 minutes) ate somewhat decent (better than my binge the other day) and then miss jilly calls me. turns out she just bought a new DVD workout from the trainers from the Biggest Loser. somehow or another I end up doing this tape with her.

and well

at 1st I was ok, i mean bob is hot, and I like how they have "real people" (previous contestants from the Biggest Loser), who quite frankly are as red in the face as I am and also sweating like the pigs that I guess we are. after the warm up and 20 minutes with bob, i'm really hurting (jilly is too) and we both veto to skip a portion and only do another 10 minutes. this time though we have Jillian (whom i so want to look like, this girl is a lean mean fighting machine) and oh my god she is not bob. in fact she's harder than bob and those 10 minutes felt like 30. the whole time miss jilly and I were calling her names and I think that is the only way we got thru (including a few momentary pauses...)

i have no idea how we finished that tape and i'm somewhat grateful i didn't pass out. i felt like a weak depleted flower afterwords for well over an hour. and now almost 24 hrs later i can hardly move. i'm walking like a very old crippled person. and somehow the hubs bribed me and hauled my ass out for yet another walk today!

my ribs hurt
my ass hurtz
my legs are on fire
pretty much my whole body is in pain
i mean lame?
i dunno but it sucks

but i'll tell you one thing i i some day look like Jillian the trainer from hell it would so be worth it. and maybe now i'll think twice before eating a cookie or my usual inevitable trip to McDonald's (I can proudly say I haven't been there in a couple of weeks), because if i'm this much out of shape at 27 I can just imagine it gets even harder as I get older.

now if i can just do this 5-6 days a week....

oh boy i need prayers!! or better yet a massage...a full body massage

Have you Ever...

looked at one of your parents (no, not you mom, ahem sorry dad) and realized that they and you (i mean me) are getting old. and that makes me really sad to see him with grayer hair, deeper lines on his face and hands and it really made me feel vulnerable and scared to death that some day i'm going to lose him and that i can't stop it or prevent it no matter how hard i don't want to face it. can you say denial? yes he's my best friend which i may talk about in another post

ate until your stomach hurts so badly but you are still craving that "crunchy, salty, chewy, chocolaty", something or other and i had to have the hubs take it away so i could stop. so sad, yet so true. i find it so weird that i crave things during my "mid-cycle" of my pills, not the week of or before my period but in the "middle". weird. course i'm weird, so there u go....

caught yourself just staring and staring at nothing really, and just letting your mind wander and a few minutes later you think to yourself "whoa, that was weird"?

had a sex dream that involved a partner that a)wasn't my husband and b)wasn't male....? like what's that mean, am i gay? i don't thing it means anything but waking up after that was freakin weird

held a grudge against someone, just cuz they are dating someone that you may have at one time sort of had a crush on even though you are married and what not....just hypothetically speaking of course...but man i freakin want to punch her and him too...ummm hypothetically of course...hahaha ok moving on

pooped in your pants, not including when you were a kid or mabye not quite a kid anymore. like accidently let a fart slip out and you shit yourself....just wondering....

noticed how everyone always seems to pick their nose when they are driving (god, i'm so guilty of this too), like for some reason you think people can't see you and that it's "safe" in your car

dodged a bullet to the head

the last few days have been well interesting....

1st I discover that I am being "laid off" (only for a couple of months, but, whatev, it's laid off) from yet another job (making that the 4th time i have left/been "laid off" god I hate that word from a job)

then I discover that pretty much everyone, well ok not everyone but most pps, in the office aren't happy and have been thinking about leaving, including the lady that trained me. who was disgusted and very upset that they would "lay me off" and told me not to worry as she may leave instead as she had another offer.

hmm interesting I think

but I didn't get my hopes up

instead, i dive head 1st into deep black despair and panic. needless to say last thrusday was not a good one. and my drive to work on my last official day was not pleasant. in fact I didn't want to go.

then

positive yet sad news. she's leaving and i'm staying

so therefore i've dodged a pretty big bullet

thank god i don't have to file for EI yet AGAIN!
thank god we wont starve
thank god I don't have to look for another job ASAP
thank god I can still keep my hair appointment in 2 weeks as i'm in desperate need of highlights
thank god we can keep our house
thank godwe don't have to sell the animals
thank god we don't have to move out west and sell our souls to the devil

there is a god and he loves me!!!!

heee!

one would think that I would still be happy and rejoicing.

sadly, nope

back to being overweight, poor, depressed, angry, bitter

yadda yadda yadda

just cuz

i believe i have the "christmas blues"....

i have nothing really to write or talk about...

i'm bored and sitting home on a saturday night in my pj's when i should be out celebrating my bestest cousin in the whole wide world's birthday... (happy birthday jilly! luv you!)

were broke, lazy and somewhat hesitant to go outside and drive 30 minutes to come and visit you as it did storm today and the roads are probably bad...

i'm farting like a man (or animal) from eating too much candy...

i still haven't taken down my christmas tree and i never leave it up this long

i have a mountain of laundry to do and i just can't seem to muster the energy to tackle it, so it just keep growing

i think i am finally getting over this stupid cold, finally

there isn't a godamn thing on t.v. lately, is it from the holiday or the writers strike??

as of monday i am going offically on a diet/exercise binge, wonder how long i'll last this time

i wonder if i can be hyponotized to not eat certain foods (ie. french fries)

well i'll think i'll go back to my romance novel now

peace out

Happy New Year if i'm not back in a few

it's HERE!

miz flea flea is wishing EVERYONE

a

VERY


MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

and now she is going to go open her presents, eat lots and lots of food, and have a very long nap and hopefully sleep away this gosh darn cold that won't let up one bit. ah well, hope everyone else has a super fantastic day!!!!

sickly flea flea

just when you think you have the christmas rush beat, i get sick. and i'm down for the count. only 1 more day of work left to battle through (and trust me it's a battle). i'm tired, weak, full of snot and the wurst of all is the sore throat. god i hate sore throats!

so becuz i'm weak, tired and most of all lazy

i leave you with this humours pic of me from last weekends drunkness-escapade

Enjoy

too many things to do...and i have no clue where to begin...

ugh

how i hate, hate all the hustle and bustle as everyone is frantically running around doing "this" and "that" as they finish up any last minute shopping or purchasing food for the holidays. nothing but a headache for me and sends my anxiety sky high.

for example

while stopping at 2 stores today on my lunch hour (1 store being evil Wal-Mart) i encountered crowded isles, screaming kids (why aren't they in school?), painfully slow old people (i'm sorry but it's so true!) and the oh so fun long lineup at the cash register, where nobody can figure out where they should be standing, oh and having a kid kick my cart and laugh about it and then continue to do it while the mom stood right there and watched...

sigh

thankfully i went into the stores with a mission, got what I wanted and got out. now I just need to check and make sure i'm not missing anything and get groceries either tomorrow or the day after, which I am dreading even more so than what I went through today.

on an uplifting note, this time next week it will all (almost) be over!

god i'm such a grinch

hope all is well with everyone else

i'm an idiot but then again i knew that...

who goes oh let's say for example 3 months without getting their beat up piece of shit car inspected...

ahem

silence

sadly, that's my hand you see ever so slowly going up in the air

what is even more sad is that I didn't even notice this the hubs and our local mechanic (doing yet more repairs so I can get thru the winter before buying a newer car...grrr), so not only do i have to bow my head in shame but i have to have the hubs point this out and rub it in (like any husband is bound to do)

like honestly, i thought i had this done already, and even so 3 months!

god i know my life has been somewhat of a black hole the last few months but this so didn't even cross my mind. scary.

sigh

so that's another $230 down the drain and my car may quite possibly not even pass inspection when and if I ever get this done (hopefully this weekend)

get ready for a rant people cuz their is a big one coming

so not only do i have to drop down car repairs in the month that we are quite possibly the poorest ever. but we need to do the following (in no particular order)

purchase a new wood stove - $600 +
get the new pup fixed - $80-100
purchase a new satellite receiver as ours has been defective now since summer (yes I procrastinate) - $100-150 more than likely this will be our or mine christmas gift as it's really the only thing I want
order more of my allergy vaccine - $120 and I don't have health coverage right now which SUCKS
get the car inspected (hahaha) - $50 ? god only knows what they will find

and i'm sure there are more but frankly seeing it all written out really isn't helping matters, in fact I think i'm hyper ventaliting.

i think i might throw up

i'm out

Friday Free Play

yet another friday, and what better to do than review my latest fav music pics in a group of 5 (haven't done one of these in ages, so why not?)

anyways, hope everyone is having a super fantastic friday

only 18 more days til Christmas - part of me is giddy when i say that and the other part is groaning...

back to the music

Friday Five:

J. Holiday - Bed (music/video playing in the sidebar)

Alicia Keys - No one (love this!)

Kanye West featuring T-Pain - Good life (luv this too!!! so sad about his mommy too...)

One Republic featuring Timberland (freaking genius) - Apologize (getting a little sick of this but still like)

and lastly

Linkin Park - Bleed it out (my anger song, it totally rocks)

peace out :P

it's beginning to look a lot like...

SNOW

and plenty of it

were being hit HARD by a major storm. i'd take a pic but i'm too lazy

one can only hope that tomorrow will be a snow day, but alas because I want it to be it won't

miz flea flea so didn't want to go to work today, had a brutal painful headache last night and didn't get any sleep. so tired and sort of sick to my stomach. wanted nothing more than to be home in bed and now that i'm home and it's going on 10:00 at night here i sit at the computer yet again. weird. and what up with that

but my mind is restless and i know sleep is not soon inevitable.

sigh

i so haven't done anything to get prepared for (dun dun dun) Christmas, god sometimes i hate that word but it always brings tingly, happy feelings with it. and this being our first major snow storm and seeing snow on the ground one can't help but get that fuzzy feeling inside. perhaps will actually have snow this year for Christmas (the last 3-4 we haven't had any), might be kind of nice. just not fun driving in it

anyways that's really all i got, not much but at least i'm posting and trying to get this blogger thing rolling again, i've been somewhat neglectful (again) mabye i should hire some new pps?

peace the spork out

sleepy or grumpy...or both

so i've been majorly tired for the past few weeks, can't seem to sleep when i want to which thus makes me grumpy. so i guess i'm both dwarves from snow white.

can anyone else remember the names of the rest of them?

cuz i only remember these two & sneezy or is there a sneezy?

and am i the only grownup that wants to watch the new disney flick "enchanted"? for some reason i really want to see this movie....

so due to my severe tiredness i haven't been doing much. i pretty much just lounge ALL day on my days off and then head back to the grind of the workforce on monday, even more tired than i was on friday.

well i due manage to take the dogs for a walk but that's about it

pretty boring life i must say but that's all i got for now (i just got really tired again....think i may go have a nap)

peace out

gone and done it now

like an idiot that i am, i succumed to the now "infamous" video online 2 girls 1 cup.

2 days ago i'd never heard tell of this website and frankly i wished that i had never googled the damn thing in the 1st place. and i'm not really sure why i'm venting this here as the last thing i want is for other people to be as traumatized as i still am. but i'm getting ahead of myself. like all good stories it needs a beginning....

so i'm doing my random checks on the blogs i like to frequent and while visiting Mo's site it leads me to watch a video of a man watching yet another video that we can't see and he's gagging/vomiting what not. frankly i wasn't amused but yet i still watched and just had to investigate further (which is so like me), come to find out that the said video in question is quite poplar on youtube of people watching it and gagging and what not by now my curiosity is peaked, what the hell is this video and it cannot possibly be that disgusting.

hahaha oh man what a fool i am i soooo should've known better

anyways

so i do more research

and lo and behold i find the website (which i'm not sharing as i do not recommend anyone to watch this EVER! but if you are like me you are bound to find it anyways...just be forewarned)

i watch it once, and honestly i thought to myself ok eww, and somehow convinced myself it was like watching a fake movie. i wasn't that repulsed.

then i watch it again (like a dumbass) and now i'm gagging, omg did she just do what i think she just did and *insert vomiting sounds here several in fact*

then i go out to the hubs violated beyond words and made him come and watch it cuz i just couldn't believe my eyes. i couldn't even get through the last time and now i cannot get this freaking video out of my head and i want to gag/vomit every time i think of it

like how the hell could anyone, ANYONE eat poo, and then vomit on the poo and eat it too

i don't care how high you are on crack you would never, EVER do anything like that if you were in your right mind

*shudders*

not only is that bad enough but to then tape it, and sadly have people like me sit and watch it and now talk about it on their blog.

what a sad sad world we live in today

i think i may go huddle under my bed covers and never come out again

while the boy is away...a girl must play!! mwhaaa

ok, that's a bit much

but i'm FREE

totally alone

just me and the dogs.....

and the cat...

ok mabye not entirely alone but you get my drift

it's the hubs "annual end of the hunting season drunk fest weekend" that he attends every year, with the same friends at the same stupid camp...blah blah...tradition....whatever

i used to hate/dread these weekends

now however i somewhat look forward to them

becuz

i can do whatever i want (not like i don't usually but you know) just stupid stuff

like eating cookie dough that i had stashed away, until my belly hurts and i want to vomit....but it was soooo yummy!

watching all the t.v. shows THAT I WANT TO WATCH....no stupid survivor, or the discovery channel!!!!

sit in my "fat" jogging pants with paint on them, no makeup, hair not done, etc, etc

perhaps lay in bed ALL day on saturday

or

go shopping and spend money i don't have

or crank up the christmas tunes and decorate the house....mabye not, cuz i'm not THAT ambitious

either way the possibilities are endless

i'm almost so excited i could squeal like a wee little pig

ok

mabye not like a pig.....

HEE!! i'm free!!

blurb it's

I'M BACK!!

man what a long, rough go the last four weeks, but it's OVER and the bestest part is I have officially worked my last day at the evil call center and I start yet another new job tomorrow. here's to hoping that 3rd time is the charm and that i can finally get back to a somewhat normal life as i won't have to work anymore weekends or have people yell and scream at me all day!

HEE!

it's my dad's b-day today!! happy birthday daddy!!!

you know i've been so busy/self evolved i hadn't even noticed that we are into November, my least favorite month. man where have the last few weeks gone? oh, right..we won't go there again...stupid call center

ok

what else is new?

not much really

i'm still poor/broke

still 20 pounds over weight

and i almost suffered from a mental breakdown...ok, mabye that's dramatic but yet not, cuz it was just that bad. truly, i wasn't happy and was in a very dark place the last few months, i hope this new job brings new change/light to my life. i feel so much better already just knowing that i don't have to go back there and sit and say mindless things over and over, and did i mention the people yelling/screaming at me.....sigh...i wonder if i can get hyponotized to forget it all.....

my new puppy, isn't really a puppy anymore. well he's only 6 months but man he is already as big as zoey and STILL growing. all he does is eat. he is going to be freakin huge. have to soon make his appointment to get his "boys" cut off. poor bastard.

still have yet to start christmas shopping, and dreading every second of it

and i had my 1st ever flat tire a couple weeks ago. so. not. cool. thankfully, the hubs was home and came to my rescue. could've been much worse.

anyways.....i must get to my housework it's been 4 weeks of the hubs doing some of the cleaning, so you can just imagine what my house looks like

i've missed all of you and can't wait to catch up

peace out :P

slave driver

sorry for the lack of posts (yet again), dear faithful reader but you will have to excuse miss flea flea as she has/is pulling some serious overtime hours at work and is working herself to the bone to make some extra $$

therefore, she may be absent from this site for awhile

we hope these 4 weeks of overtime go very quickly and painlessly and to have miss flea flea back to her normal regular self very soon

please check regularly for updates or posts as she will be back at some point

xoxo
miss flea flea's pps

i got nothin

so not much has really happend in my life since my last little rant

i'm still majorly confused, down and out and all that fun stuff

but

i did have a nice (although short) visit with my sis, which was nice

oh

and our super fun fantastic nite out making fools of ourselves with jilly and stephen (now those 2 are funny). lot's of memories, good food and drinks (cosmo's are my new fav)

it's sad to see the leaves changing and falling off

it's also sad that it is getting chilly/rainy and icky (november is so around the corner...shudder)
man i hate but yet still love fall

like the other day i was walking with the dogs and it was warm but yet still that fall air you know and the leaves were pretty and i felt good....and well now not so much

this is sooooo not my time of the year and it's very hard to be positive and upbeat but man i'm sure trying and staying in it

other than that i got nothing...no funny stories (well i prob could find 1 or 2 but have no energy to go there tonite..sorry)

anyways hope all is well with everyone else will catch up another time
as for now it's nite nite time :P

peace out

so what!

so what

if i work at a call centre
if i have to do a job that i don't really enjoy and have to repeat myself over and over..and over
if i get yelled at 20+ times a day from irrate customer's
if i feel like i'm back in jr high cuz i work with a bunch of young/immature pps

so what

if i'm not totally 100% happy
if i'm royally confused and lost and require major direction
if i don't reallly know who i am as a person
if i have no clue where i am going to be in 10 years

so what

if i have a slight (ok it's a big one) addiction to mcdonald's and probably require an intervention
if i am in debt up to my elbows
if i like to eat crackers plain
if i sit up half the nite listening to my thoughts race a mile a minute

so what

if i like to go shopping just to pick myself up (even though i'm flat broke)
if i have house flys (eww)
if my cooking isn't exactly the best, actually it's barely existant (can u say frozen dinners)
if i like to lay in bed all day on my day off

so what

if i'm already freaking out about Christmas shopping
if i'm a little bit of a control/clean freak (with some things..not all)
if i had a really bad interview experience and didn't get the job
if i have an old ratty beat up car that is on it's last leg, and is sort of embarassing to be seen in

it's my life, that's the way it is, now i just need to deal with it :P