killing time

as I have a lot of free time on my hands (for the moment) my days are pretty long and extremely boring. I mostly mindlessly surf the Internet, checking crackbook every half hour hoping for something to change (nothing ever does), visit Perez Hilton & TMZ and I even frequent the shopping channel website (thankfully, I have so far been able to resist purchasing anything although I came really close the other day to buying a new laptop...).

I am now hooked to HGTV and love the shows - Property Virgins, House Hunters & Restaurant Makeover

I also watch quite a bit of the Slice network - Til Debt do us Part & Wedding SOS

pretty much the only show left on TLC that I want to watch is - Say Yes to the Dress, I cannot get enough of this show! like how much I love Randy and ALL the dresses! I also still cannot believe that people pay as much as they do for the "perfect dress" - CRAZY but I love it!

and because I've lost interest in a lot of shows that I used to love (ahem Gossip Girl, So You Think You Can Dance) I've finally joined the club of watching t.v shows on DVD

I can't forget about Ellen & Oprah gotta watch those two shows too every day or at least if Oprah has something non depressing/serious I'll watch it



the hubs and I are also getting caught up on Dexter (Season 2 & 3), I borrowed the DVD's from my hairdresser and OMG we both LOVE this show! we wrapped up season 2 last week and are on about episode 4 of season 3, it's just so good and I so didn't know that Jimmy Smits was on this show! Love him too! course now I swear even more than I did (which I didn't think was possible) but whatever



moving on..



ok, I have always loved General Hospital and have watched it since the early 90's but how freakin cool is it that James Franco will be joining the cast for 10 - yes TEN episodes starting this Friday - November 20th (how much you want to bet that baby flea will probably pick this day to make her arrival?)



can you say HOTTIE



drooling....

oh and the storyline actually sounds pretty interesting too...

cannot wait to watch






















oh and I actually read a book that wasn't about breastfeeding, going into labour or about babies for a change, miz jilly lent me the latest Sophia Kinsella novel and I read it in a day. it was light fluff and a fun read, nice to get away from my reality and step into another one

and the other 12 + hrs of the day consist of eating, sleeping and frequent trips to the bathroom. I think I may take up permanent residence in my bathroom as I spend most of my time there

One more week til D-day (aka Due Date) but I have a feeling i'm totally going to be overdue and that this will be a December baby. I hope to god i'm wrong

over and out

benched

I've been benched, sidelined put out of the game

this waiting thing really, really, REALLY SUCKS!

I'm beyond uncomfortable

to all the people that have been saying all along that I will go "early" I HATE you, way to get a pregnant women's hopes up all for nothing. I'm beginning to think that she will never come out! I cannot fathom 10, TEN more days of this!!!!

so in case you are wondering - no baby...at least not yet

in loving memory

for those of you who have been with me over the years you may know that I usually do up a post or write up about a dear friend of mine - Lisa - who was tragically killed in a car accident on this day, so I always hate November 9/10th (the car crash happened on the 9th, she was taken off life support on the 10th).

this year i'm keeping it short and sweet

I can't believe it has been eight years, so much has changed, sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday as I can remember everything in such vivid detail and then days like today it feels like a whole other life ago

I miss you so much sometimes and I think of you often

you will never be forgotten

I leave you with a fav pic of mine of all us girlfriends at Marsha's wedding dance, I think this was the year before she died

left to right

Sandy, me, Marsha, Jilly and Lisa

Friends Forever

IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

*WARNING* major pregnancy rant ahead, you may want to skip this post. remember you have been warned

18 days ppl

or less depending on if I "go early" or not which every single person I know seems to think that I will. so then of course I get excited and think ok today is the day, and then, nothing. this does not include the tips that people just have to tell you to "bring on labour".

like for example having lot's of sex (which the hubs is ALL over, cuz frankly he hasn't gotten much through this pregnancy) but honestly there is nothing more un-appealing or sexy about getting nekid when you are 9 months pregnant and feeling like a whale but heck i'm willing to try just about anything at this point to get this over with. and well, let's just say so far this hasn't worked yet either

then there's the good old faithful of tweaking of ones nipples, or take a drive over a bumpy road. I haven't become desperate enough (at this point) to try either of these i'm still recuperating from the traumatic sex experiences mentioned above.

when I do leave my house (which is not often) I am constantly asked, "how much longer" or "must be any day now dear" which is all well and good and nice of people to ask or care, but frankly I just want to rip there faces off

in fact I want to rip a lot of people's faces off

irritable and cranky doesn't even come close to the rage I have been feeling lately

nobody is safe

then on top of that I discover that my now sausage like legs have become stretch mark heaven, they have become my very own road map. I discovered this yesterday and had a good cry. the hubs didn't even ask as he knows better by now to just keep his mouth shut. but really, why on my legs? why! I can handle the ones on my belly at least they can be covered but the ones on my legs.....sigh i'm ruined!!!!

this old girl ain't what she used to be

I also have to deal daily with the babies feet or bum sticking waaaayyy out of my belly leaving me wondering if it will poke right through the skin as the skin does not look like it can stretch any more, but it always does. it's the weirdest, grossest yet coolest thing ever

and then there are my feet

yes, I know I've complained about them before but guess what they still are hurting like a mofo, and the swelling!! UGH! they puff all up and do not look like they belong to me at all, in fact they seem so far away at times I think that they aren't mine

another thing that I've just noticed within the past couple of weeks is that it is now even difficult to wipe my own ass

and gassy

holy hell I thought that was just something funny they made up for movies

I hadn't really had much of an issue with gas until a few weeks ago (then again most of my pregnancy up until a few weeks ago was a piece of cake!) now I could be a methane gas producer, it's that bad

and the heartburn. OMFG the heartburn/indigestion is killing me!

i keep trying to tell myself it's almost over, only a little bit left but it isn't working

fun times

fun times

no more monkeys jumping on the bed

i am going insane with boredom

INSANE!

I tell you the days are really, really long sometimes. I mean a person can only nap so much. believe me I am tired, cuz sleep and I are no longer friends, I do well to get an hour at a time through the night but lately I cannot seem to sleep through the day and naps and I used to be very good friends indeed

but not no more

my mind is constantly racing with things to do

like packing my bag for the hospital (which is practically done other than the last minute stuff that I use every day)

or cleaning out that hallway closet with all the "junk" in it, cuz who knows when I will ever get to that once baby is here

or should I bake some cookies, that would kill a half hour and hello cookie dough!

or there is always my dogs looking at me all sad and depressed like "hello, pay attention to me, take me for a walk, something, anything??" when was the last time I paid them attention?

then there is also the growing pile of pregnancy books that I have yet to read, i've got 3 or 4 on the go

so

yes there is tons for me to do

but I literally get tired in like 5 minutes

and I can't stand on my feet too long, because they are swollen and hurt like hell so I've been going in small little bursts of 15 minute cleaning sprees with several hour intervals in between.

i'm sick of the t.v (we too used to be best of friends), sick of the Internet (esp. crackbook which I seem to check every 5 minutes with nothing ever changing)

i'm just soooo bored

sure in 6 months I will probably look back at this and think, you freaking crazy crackwhore what the hell were you complaining about, enjoy the peace and quiet while you can! i'm on my 7th week of being home, not working with only the rare outing or two a week. a person can only take so much.

in other news I received my h1n1 vaccine on Monday so we can all breathe a sigh of relief (for now)

also I am now 4 weeks away from my due date

how freakin scary is that?!

showered with gifts

I had my baby shower today, which was fitting because it is also pouring rain here today. I was sort of dreading this actually (meshing my family & his always stresses me) but it really wasn't that bad at all, in fact I feel all warm and fuzzy inside and well very much loved.

kind of nice really

I think my cold bitter heart grew a little bit more today..

ok, I kid I do have a heart but I couldn't help but swell up and get a little teary at times to know that a)i'm very much loved and that b)people already love my baby too

sure there could've been a few more people there, but really I don't have many friends outside of family (i'm a bit of a loner espically of late) but there was just enough to not make me freak out and have an anxiety attack, cuz I hate being the center of attention. and the best part of all was that there were cupcakes, lot's and lot's of cupcakes. I have been craving cupcakes for most of this pregnancy. When I was working I would sit and watch that show on TLC where the guy bakes cakes and cupcakes...i'm totally drawing a blank on the name...and I would literally drool over the cupcakes. well I finally got me some today. in fact I've lost count as to how many I have eaten, I might actually have eaten one too many but omg they were sooooo good and so worth the wait. I may sneak one more before bedtime....

also the presents

who doesn't love presents?

they were all so pretty and damn my little girl is going to be sporting some pretty fancy duds let me tell you. we did VERY well. other than the odd one or two things with pooh on them (I despise Winnie the Pooh, i'm not sure why exactly or where the hate comes from but I cannot stand pooh...) everything was perfect. I couldn't have asked for nicer stuff or a better day.

I haven't felt this good in a long time

course

it could be all the sugar from the cupcakes...

just sayin

:P

fly on the wall

nothing fits me anymore, i'm freakin HUGE and i'm so sick of wearing the same maternity clothes, day in and day out. the other night I was to tired and wore a t-shirt that I could wear two months ago with my pj's and honestly it was a belly shirt gone horribly wrong. the hubs took one look at me and laughed. that BAD but I didn't change because i'm to the point that I just don't care anymore. I never thought I would get to that point either but i'm totally there.

I had an ultra sound done yesterday to see how the baby is growing due to the medication that I am on for my SVT it can cause the baby to not grow so they had to be sure she's "ok", well I could tell them that she is, as I stated above i'm huge and all along i've been measuring a couple of weeks ahead of what I should be or the "normal". well guess what, she's at about 7 pounds already and I still have 5 weeks to go! the ultrasound tech was all smug like "guess you won't be needing much for newborn stuff" and "I am betting on about 9 pounds". I wanted to take that little wand thingy that they rub on your belly and wack him in the head.

insensitive ass

on a side note from what i've googled, they can typically be two pounds off, so i'm hoping to god she's really only 5 pounds in there...

I thought I was waddling before, well, that was nothing compared to now. I feel like the baby is going to fall right out of my vagina at any moment. imagine walking around like that, go ahead try (for those of you who have been pregnant before i'm sure you know what I am talking about) try it, I bet you CAN'T!

and my feet, omg my feet I can't stand on them for longer than 5 minutes at a time without them hurting and screaming at me "GET OFF! GET OFF OF ME NOW YOU HEAVY COW!"

I have a crush on Justin Bieber

yeah, sad I know but he's so gosh darn cute...

i'm so going to jail or hell

i'll just blame it on hormones

another guilty pleasure is the t.v. show the Vampire Diaries, I was really expecting this show to be so cheesy and a Twilight rip off, but it's actually not that bad. ok, no it is sort of bad really, maybe that's why I watch? I dunno but I can't get enough. and the evil vampire brother totally steals the show

can you believe that October is almost over!?

where the hell has that gone?

i'm starting to wig out, like really, me a mom

really???

I really don't think i'm ready for this life curve ball, you get so cushy and comfy in your normal every day routine and that's all going to change. I think my main problem is that I just can't invision what life will be like once she is here, sure I know it's going to be plain hell for the first 6 weeks, no sleep, diaper changes, feedings, no time for me what gets me is the "joy", "love" everyone talks about that they instantly feel once there child is born. what if I don't have this? what if I look at her and think "it's so not worth it"?? what if I don't love her right away? what if I think she is ugly??

these are the thoughts that keep me awake at night, along with the annual nightly kickings and moving arounds

what's your bet?

honestly, I feel like a frickin race horse or something..

everyone is placing bids as to when I am going to have this kid

my "actual" due date is November 24th

I'll know more after today as I have another pre-natal apponitment as to whether or not they are talking induction so that will screw this all to hell, or I can keep it a secret and not tell when that will be.

the hubs thinks that I won't last through October and is claiming it's going to be a Halloween baby

my mom is saying I'll go early too, but I can't remember what she or even if she picked a date, but early November anyways.

so what do you think?

the wicked witch is dead!

you may or may not recall that the hubs and I had purchased my grandmother's property (which is adjacent to ours) last year (sure I could be all cool and put a link up, but I don't roll like that) and to be honest I thought we would be stuck with it forever, especially after the last people screwed us over royally. but as of October 9th, it's not ours anymore!!

it's gone

SOLD

done and good riddance!

a Dutch family of 5 (who has 5 kids now-a-days?!) actually bought and paid for it, and were extremely happy and excited to buy/move in. frankly, I thought it was a hovel myself but with some hard work and $$ that the hubs and I do not have it could be a good house again. I haven't written anything here about it cuz I didn't want to jinx it but now that they have signed the paper work and actually moved in, I sort of can't really believe it. sure it's going to be sort of shitty having neighbors again, but it's such a huge relief and such a weight/stress has been lifted from my shoulders

in other news

I've been having frequent braxton hicks or at least I hope to god it's braxton hicks, it's too early for her to come yet (I'M NOT READY!) yesterday was the worst yet, very crampy with sharp pains and then I also had diarrhea, not cool, especially when it's Thanksgiving and you are visiting family and ingesting not one, but TWO turkey dinners within 2 hrs of each other

sigh

I have such a rough life, I tell ya

over and out for now I lost my energy burst

*UPDATE* so I did go to the hospital yesterday just to be sure (at my mother's persistence) and it IS Braxton Hicks (which I so knew it was) but still it was scary being hooked up onto the stress test and worrying that I was in early labour, thankfully i'm not (yet) but the Dr. told me to take it easy and try my best to get to 36 weeks cuz she CANNOT come out before then. so i'm sitting here with a dirty house trying very hard to restrain myself from vacuuming the floor which scary as it sounds is VERY hard for me but so not worth the consequences

Glee - Single Ladies (Football Team Dance) 09/23/09

I've been meaning to post this for awhile (well @ least since it was first aired which was a couple of weeks ago). I laughed so hard I was crying, and then I think I peed a little but that's just cuz I pee ALL the time and sometimes I just can't control it (it's entirely the babies fault)

n'ways

I am LOVING everything about this show. its so off the wall, out of the blue funny and DIFFERENT. sure a lot of it wouldn't happen in real life (like what guy would be so dumb to think you can get a girl pregnant without even having sex??) but I think that is just part of Glee's appeal, you get away from your "norm" for an hour of entertainment.

my fav's or better yet the people that make the show are the cheerleading coach, the principal and, Kurt (I hate to refer to him as the gay guy, that sounds so crude, so he's the Kicker above) and oh yeah let's not forget the hottie with the mohawk.

if you aren't watching this show YOU need to be, trust me

baby room completed!

baby flea's room pics

cuz I have no life and i'm going out of my mind with boredom today, I picked up my piece of junk camera (i'm sooo upgrading before baby comes), I thought I would snap some pics of the babies room of what I have so far and do a before and after once I paint (I finally decided on colors, so hopefully the hubs will paint this weekend)

this is as you first walk in, that's the diaper stacker/holder

mobile and the two colors I am going to paint. doing the long wall in the dark purple and the rest in the beige/tan

front of the crib

car seat (we practice with curious george) & bassinet

change table

belly shot, yes it's blury as hell but it was the best out of the lot

and lastly and most importantly....

wardrobe!!

32 wks this week, only 8 more to go!

warblings

not much to report my friends, my life has become so bland and boring I put myself to sleep all the time. can't remember if I told you that I was put off work or not, in fact I can hardly remember this morning, each day blends into the last. it's rather depressing really and I may possibly go insane.

this is what I have picked out for baby flea's bedding/room theme, except the room will be done in a lilac purple color

i've also been overcome with "nesting" aka cleaning or just plain rummaging with something. my reasoning is that I won't be able to do it once the baby is here, so i've been re-arranging rooms, cleaning closets, doing laundry galore, you name it i've probably done it in the past couple of weeks.

I didn't watch the Emmy's, but I have to ask does anyone even watch Mad Men or money or what-ever that show is? cuz I never have...just sayin....

I'm feeling very rotund, sort of like this...

and I cannot possible imagine that I am going to get even bigger but sadly that's the fact and there isn't anything I can do about it.

two months to go people

9 weeks

64 days - at least until my due date, I hope to GOD that this little one arrives on time like her mama and that I don't go over

our friends wedding was beautiful, I took maybe 5 pics and then my camera died. I so wanted to get a pic of myself and the hubs (who looked quite sexy in his tuxedo) but, didn't happen cuz my camera is a piece of shit.

and that's all I got for now - peace out

Dirty Dancing - Time of my Life (Final Dance) - High Quality

in memory of my first "man" crush, I'll never forget watching this movie over and over, and OVER again with my sister and never getting enough

nobody puts baby in a corner

well Patrick nobody ever put you in a corner either, and you will never be forgotten. my heart goes out to your wife and family

~rest in peace~

skittles are good for you

I've never been a what you would call "healthy" eater, i'm a carb-a-holic and I openly admit that. I have no qualms facing the music, but since being pregnant and hearing CONSTANTLY "wow you are HUGE" and then hearing the Dr. say "you are measuring 3 wks ahead" (aka BIG baby)...really takes it's toll on a person. i've become even more self consensus during these oh 7 months, I try to eat a apple and incorporate veggies but it's hard (did I also mention i'm a picky eater?) and i've gained probably in the area of 25 pounds so far and I still have 10 weeks to go....

sure i'm pregnant and I shouldn't care about the excess weight - but I DO! It's going to have to come off at some point and my even bigger issue is that I don't want to have a big baby.

stupid I know

but there I said it

and some of you know I worry about everything so I am constantly thinking or dwelling on this

oh

and it so didn't help matters yesterday when the in-laws were here to watch the DVD of the 3D ultrasound and having my mother-in-law say "you need to go on a diet"

I

was

speechless

UGH!

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in other news, I was put off of work - THANK GOD but sort of not in the way I had intended...

I haven't mentioned it here, but I have always (since I can remember) had a condtion where my heart would do what I call "palpate" aka go really fast and I would just brush it off and sometimes it would stop in a few minutes other times it would last quite awhile. I was diagnosed when I was a kid and knew a few tricks to help stop them when they occured. so no big deal right??

well not exactly

since I've been pregnant they happen A LOT more frequently, before they may happen once every 3-4 months if that (usually caffeine triggers it so I would avoid that, god I miss diet coke...), like i'm talking at least once a week if not 2-3 times a week. at first I did what I always did, I brushed it off, sometimes I could get it to stop, other times, not. then my mom just randomly mentions one day that it may become an issue during labour, what if my heart has what I call an "episode" during labour, or when I need to push? and then I realized it isn't just ME that I have to worry about any more, it can't be good for the baby when these "episodes" happen and I was also really concerned about my heart during labour. so I mention it to the Dr. this was back in June I believe.

the months go by and nothing is being done

finally last month I was able to be hooked up to a heart monitor for 24hrs, and of course I don't have an "episode" the entire time (which I soooo knew would happen).

anyways, long story short I went to work on Tuesday the 8th and I was having an "episode" so I thought well i'm here the ER was quiet, why not just ask to be hooked up to the monitor to see how fast my heart was going.

it was going 192 - the normal rate is under 100

so I was whisked away in a wheel chair (they wouldn't even let me walk), hooked up to monitors, had an IV inserted and basically had the shit scared out of me. I never fully realized how serious that this could be, like I said I always just dealt with it and brushed it off, stupid probably but that's what I did. at it's highest point it was 234 beats per minute. major wake up call. baby flea is fine, I now have to take medication to help keep it under control and i'm also lined up to see specialists, both OBS and Cardiologists. the exact medical term of what I have is called supra ventricular tachycardia (SVT). and me being a google whore, had to google it and discovered that most people with this do end up having C-sections, while there are a few cases where they deliver vaginally with no problems. I really don't want to have a section which is weird because before I was ever pregnant I was like "I so want a c-section if I ever have kids", and now I totally don't. funny how things change like that

enough about that for now

the big wedding is tomorrow!! I booked myself a pamper day and I'm getting my hair and nails done, which I think I totally deserve after such a stressful week. I may or may not post a pic of me in my dress all done up or not (depending on how much of a whale I look like)

happy friday everyone

It's a....

GIRL!!!!!!!!

HOLY fracking leg cramps!

so isn't it bad enough that i'm up every 1-1/2 hrs to pee, or change sleeping positions because my hips hurt from all the "weight" i'm carrying, on top of all THAT I get leg cramps like you would not believe

in fact a friend warned me that she had them and I just brushed it off like ah they probably weren't that bad

well, let me tell you

pain unlike anything I have EVER had before and it doesn't instantly go away, in fact I half thought that my leg would remain locked (and when I say locked I mean it's locked, like rigid, solid cannot move) in this excruciating pain for the rest of my life, so then you panic and my eyes are watering and i'm rolling around on the bed in agony, panicking and then its gone as fast as it appeared leaving me to wonder when the next one will hit....

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I got my hair done yesterday and I hate it, well, no that's not right I just hate everything about myself lately

my boobs are leaking colostrum already - woke up the other morning and the hubs was like what is one your shirt, didn't even know it happened or better yet didn't know that that could happen

still working hopefully not for much longer, so want to be done, tired of it all physically and mentally and terrified that I could get H1N1 aka swine flu. it kills pregnant people! esp. if they are in the 3rd trimester - which I am!! paranoid much, check

can you believe it's September already? like where did August go?????

i'm going on Saturday to have a 3D ultrasound done of baby flea, cannot wait to actually see his/her face and to know for sure what we are having

I also need to find a dress to haul my pregnant ass into for the hubs bestest buds wedding the following weekend, so wish me luck on that cuz i'm sure i'm going to need it....

other than that it's business as usual for me - aka not a whole lot :P

check ya later!

where has the time gone?

six years ago today I (at 23) took the plunge and got married, not knowing that there would be hard times and many goods times ahead. it's been a journey and more importantly, we've done it together.

love you babe

Happy 6th Anniversary!

bloody hell it's HOT

well, we have had possibly the crappiest summer on record (aka rain every damn day thru June & July, I think we had 7 or 9 days without rain in July alone...) but alas the past week has made up for it. it has been hot, sunny and just beautiful, which is fine as long as I plant myself in or beside my parents pool. if i'm not there i'm not happy. cannot handle the heat. this is new to me, I could always handle the heat. well not no more. as you can see carrying a basketball (ahem child) can do that to a person

25 wks (5 days, almost 26 wks)

amongst other things, like peeing yourself without you even knowing (mind you it's not a lot, but still it just dribbles out without control)

I have a double chin

I can't even walk to the end of my driveway to get the mail without becoming short of breath and thinking I may keel over and die

i'm starting to panic as I only have about 3 months left to go, where the hell has the time gone? and how the hell can I possibly get any bigger?

sigh

OMFG i just counted out the "actual" days left til my due date and it's 99, that's under 100!!!!

and how would you take it if someone (actually A LOT of people) tell you that you look healthy?? would you take it as a compliment? or would you be offended as that is basically the friendly way of someone saying that you are GINORMOUS

and if one more ONE more person says - are you sure there aren't twins in there. i swear to god the Apocalypse is going to happen

other than being extremely hot and sweaty, I feel great. I have some nights where I can't get comfortable and sleep poorly but other than that i'm doing just swell as can be for someone not quite 7 months pregnant but looks 8-9 months...

sigh

99 bottles of beer on the wall....

hmmm

well i'm at work again, and while I don't want to complain or jinx it so that I will be crazy busy let's just say that it is going very, veeerrrryyy slowly.

but again

i'm not complaining

cuz I would rather sit on my ass than be busy

so what's new...

well it has finally warmed up and we've had a "few" sunny days in my parts (finally) this has to be the worst summer EVER

also enjoyed some much needed time with my sissy as she has been home for the past week (is now gone :( again)

i've been eating like a hungry hippo (seriously) and in fact gained 8 pounds in one month @ my last prenatal visit, which was shocking but really up until this point i've only put on 2-3 pounds a month, i just hope next month isn't quite as bad...

some foods that i've been loving:

BBQ Ruffles and or Plain Ruffles (to DIE for)
strawberry shortcake
bbq'd steak (mmmmm)
Skor icecream by Breyers (yummy)
still lovin the freezes

and ya that's enough talk about food cuz now i'm hungry....

what else have I got??

ummm

i'm really disappointed in SYTYCD this season, there is just nobody that I am loving, you know like how I loved Twitch or Will last year. it's just meh. and I cannot stand Evan and i'm sure he's totally going to win. I would like to see Jeanine win but that's just my opinion. and the 100th episode show where Katie Holmes did her little piece - omg was so bad like beyond bad and hello if it was pre-recorded at least she could've sang live...ugh it was a lot of hype for NOTHING

I can't really get into Big Brother this year either...

and that's all I got a few bits about reality t.v and food

pretty sad really

catch ya later :P