HI!

I'm Riley, i'm only 3 months old but as you can tell i'm already quite a big dog (please don't make fun of my ears). i'm loving my new home and my new parents, they give me food and water and don't get too mad at me if i make a mess on the floor (i'm really trying not to). they have a great big yard for me to run and play in and i also now have a new best friend! she sometimes gets mad at me if i bug her too much, or if i try to eat her food, which mommy says i'm not supposed to do, but sometimes i can't help but be a little bad...

oh and did i mention they have cats? i've never seen one of them before! i love to chase them so, and they always run and hide from me and all i want to do is play. i hope they get used to me soon, all i want to do is play, i promise i won't hurt them.

all in all i think i'm going to like it here :)

gotta go chase my new friend!!

sick little flea flea

so on top of everything else, i get sick. i couldn't even enjoy the weekend as i started feeling crappy Saturday night while attending my uncles going away party (he's moving out west). it started with a scratchy throat (which i hate having a sore throat more than anything) and proceeded from there. i'm already exhausted, but with this cold i can't sleep (which i need) cuz i'm up all night either sneezing or tending to my leaky nose (so gross)

poor pitiful me

ok, enough of that

so i had my "testing" today. i think it went ok. i'm not going to jinx myself though and say i aced the test, as i'm sure i didn't but overall i have a pretty good feeling and lets keep our fingers crossed. i don't normally do well with tests but i kept a level head and just did my best and well that's all one can do really...

in other news, the pup is rapidly growing like a weed, he still chases the cats and has the odd mess or two on the floor, but he's a lot more comfortable now with us & in the home so that's good. seems like it's been more than 2 wks though since we got him but that's all it's been.

the weather has also improved, i think i might actually get back a little tan as it's "pool" weather all this week!!! can't wait to savor and enjoy it, if only this cold would let up...

anyways, i'm out! :P

for the love of...

honestly it just gets better and better for me, i think this has to be the wurst summer EVER

so i just got "laid off" from the stupid ass job that i've wanted to quit ALL summer

cha

i'm not sure if i should be sad, happy, mad, i'm a little bit of both. i mean i stuck it out that long and then for them to lay me off...sigh why can't i leave a job on my own terms for once? really though...

anyhoo, i will be able to get EI though so that's one bonus cuz there sure as hell isn't anything for jobs in my crappy province. although i do have an interview/test on monday for a gov't job, so please everyone pray for me monday morning!! would be so sweet if i could nail this test and get the job. fer real.

that's all i got, hopefully with my loads and loads of free time i'll be able to get some pics of the pup for ya's.

peace out, i need to get caught up on you all :P

i'm still kickin

man has it been a week?

geesh

honestly what a week, you know i think my hubby and i need a kick in the head cuz we so wen't and got a new puppy and OMG I SO FORGOT HOW MUCH WORK! fer real. he won't stop barking/crying all night long and the last 2 nights i've slept on the couch just so he'll actually sleep. and then on top of all that we have to train him to sit, pee/poop outside, stay, what "no" actually means, and just basically everything. oh and did i mention he's never seen a cat before? my poor baby kitty's are mortified and he will not stop chasing them. ok, if i ever, ever want a puppy again could someone please talk me out of it?

jebus

so i'm so sleep deprived it's not even funny

on the other hand though i do have some positive news on the job front. they hired another girl to take over my old route so i'll now be able to stay "local" and won't have to do near as much travelling, so i'm anxious to see if i'll like it better or not. hopefully i will.

other than that i got nothing, other than the fact that i'm so freakin disappointed in the weather it has cooled off dramatically and feels like (gasp) fall! so wrong. oh and kids are back to school next week in some area's. like honestly where did the summer go?

peace out, i'm on puppy duty :P

my b-day present to myself

so i finally, finally caved and had to purchase i.d bare minerals for my birthday (which was yesterday), i've been eying/wanting this product for ever, or at least since i saw the infomercial last summer...

and it arrived Today!!!

so, i just had to scrub off my makeup and try it, and holy freakin cow it's so easy! and i feel like i have no makeup on at all, and my skin is silky smooth already just after one use, this stuff is amazing!!!

isn't it amzing how 1 little thing can make a person happy?

*oh and i got free samples too!! god love sephora

: )

a tribute to Bandit

since i have been going through a lot of old photo's, and seeings how someone very wise told me to journal how i'm feeling through this whole process, i figured i'd post some pics of bandit, along with some stories and tid bits about his life and why he was so special.

up above, is a photo of him and my other shepard, Zoey, who is still with us, only here she's just a baby and they are fighting (more playing) over a stick

that was always one thing with bandit, he was never rough with her, only if and when she wen't near his food did he put her in her place. oh how they played and played pretty much until the last month they always would taunt, play and tease each other





















next up is a pic of the hubs with the dogs, while we were out snowshoeing on our property. we wen't on several adventures, the hubs more so than I really with the dogs. and man did they love to go!

bandit tidbits:

the hubs liked to call him "trigster" for a nickname, along with banditdog

he also always, always buried his dog bones that we bought them every year for Christmas

he would snap and eat a moosefly, bumblebee or hornet

he usually slept by my side of the bed (more so towards the end) and zoey always sleeps on the hubs side















here's another pic of him in his younger days, this was when we were renting a house with god awful fugly carpeting in a nice pea soup green. nice eh? we also get a nice view of my hand-me-down couch that we've since re-upholstered...oh and also how HUGE bandit's ears were. weren't they massive? hubs always used to joke and say "all the better to hear you with" from little red riding hood














another shot of the back porch of the house we rented. here i think he's saying would you quit it already with the camera and let me in already? again, i can't believe how young he looks here

bandit tidbit:

he was named after "Smokey and the Bandit", as they had a cat named smokey
















another snow shoe trip, i don't think i wen't on this one, or at least i don't remember it. i think he looks so pretty in this shot, and ready to jump or take off and go any second

bandit tidbit:

he looked forward to getting my left over cereal every morning as i never usually eat it all

he also had a fondness for mac & cheese

he dispised going to the vet, and he always knew when we were taking him

















and lastly this is quite possibly my fav pic ever of the dogs and us. i actually wanted more pics with the dogs but by the time we got around to getting them (semi) calmed down there was only the 1 pic left on the roll of film. and do you think we could get both of them to sit? hell no! but it's priceless how bandit is licking the hubs face and zoey is looking up at him (yes, they so love him more it's so obivious)

and finally the story of the 1st time i met bandit. u see the hubs and i weren't offically together yet, and my cousin jilly and I wanted to play a prank on the hubs. so one night we put together what we wanted to do (all i remember it was something with a rope?? no idea why, or what exactly for...), anyways we wanted to leave this rope in the hubs mailbox (he lived out on a country road), so off we go and it's just starting to get dusk out, so the sun is setting, we park the car on another road and walk up to his place thinking nobody to be home....well someone was home alright, this great big HUGE german shepard comes out and starts barking and chasing us and no sooner could i turn around and run then jilly comes flying past me like a bullet with that dog right on her heels. i burst out laughing, lose my shoe, get my shoe back on and run and catch us with miss speedy back at the car. had we known what a gentle giant he was, we would've known he would never have hurt us, still though we had a good laugh and scare and i didn't really become his "mommy" til about a year or so later.

i also hate to say that he was my favorite, but he sort of was. i love zoey to death in her own way but bandit was just special. a peaceful, caring, loving soul who loved us, protected us and was loyal to us. he loved both of us equally, where as zoey is solely devoted to the hubs, yeah sure she loves me a little but not like she loves him. stupid i know but i somewhat considered him my dog, even though i knew truly he wasn't. he will be truly missed and thought of every day. i just like to think of him up in heaven running along a woods trail of some sort just waiting for us to some day join him :)

from happy news, to sad news

well, you know from one high to another, there's no other way for me...

to the left is one of my dogs, bandit, who for the past month has slowly gotten lamer, thinner, and just plain uncomfortable. I've known for probably a few months that we would inevitably have to put him down but you know how you never want to face the fact and you keep thinking oh he'll get better or i don't know exactly what, denial i guess. and it's just so heartbreaking to see him this way as he is just not himself

well, sadly i think today is the day

i think the hubs finally realizes that he's just in too much pain and what's the point of keeping him here for our own selfish reasons....

so as i sit here typing frantically away, the grave is being dug and now i can't stop crying. words can't express my heartache or how much this dog has truly meant to me. from the 1st time i meet him, which is a funny story perhaps for another day to how he loves us so unconditionally. and on an even sadder note i think the other animals "know" or sense something as there all watching him or around him.

i just had to get some of these emotions out, sorry for dumping it on you all

*update - it's now offical my bandit has gone on to a better place. my house feels empty and quiet and i keep expecting to see or hear him, so weird

something positive for a change

a big CONGRATS goes out to my hubby's bestest friend Jamie & his girlfriend Krystal for delivering a healthy baby boy into the world this morning!!!!

so excited for you guys

can't wait to see him, this almost, ALMOST gives me baby thoughts/twinges....

NOT!!! ok mabye just a little.....

now that means i have to finish the present that i've only been working slowly at for months now. martha stewart i am not. so krystal if you are reading this, i'm still working on your baby quilt and I promise i'll try to get it finished soon. and i'm to lazy to take a pic and show you all, perhaps another day :P

peace out!

same old, same old

i got nothing new really, just thought i would report that i'm still alive.

it's still bloody hot, humid, sticky
my job still blows goats
still having no luck what-so-ever finding a new job
i can't believe tomorrow is the last day of July, where the hell did the summer go? and yes it's pretty much over once August hits..sorry but it's true
i've also yet to start my diet. boo! :( so lazy is me

and that's about all really. that and what a neglectful blogger i've been. shame, shame on me i must catch up and visit you all.

peace out :P

more ranting and whining

i'm tired
hot
cranky
achy
smelly, sweaty and greasy
sunburned
bloated
oh
and if i find one more bloody zit on any part of my body i'm going to scream!!
did i mention i'm extremely tired
i'm so going to bed now

peace out :P

magic lamp

so i am totally ripping this from beth over at 'blind as a bat" (check her out if you haven't, LOVE her!!), anyways it's a 3 wish type deal so here goes.....

1) to learn yoga/meditate, i know it's a lame wish but with all my inner turmoil of late I could really use some of this right now...better yet make that into me having a "personal trainer/yoga master" at my every beck and call

2) a shoe closet the size of half my house, ok no wait bigger! with every possible shoe imaginable, heels, boots, flip flops, sneakers, dressy, casual, you name it it would be in this closet

3) and lastly i would wish for my own tropical island, with a huge fantastic fabulous house, where i can run away too or live all year round as i've somehow come into money, or invented some object or thing that made me lots of money so i don't have to work. note that I did not wish for money even though i wanted too :P

where is everyone at?

so i've noticed that not so many pps are out and about writing in the blogging world lately (myself included), why is that? is blogger becoming a fading fad, what with facebook and other outlets. or is it simply because it's summertime and everyone is out enjoying life, warm weather and even cooler beer (or in my case a rum & coke)?

in other news, i seem to be going through something. i'm just so confused, emotional, depressed that i can hardly think straight. needless to say i need to do a lot of soul searching but can't/won't take the time to reflect. i'm cranky, tired, and could cry at the drop of a hat and i want to just pull the covers up over my head and make it all go away, but, alas we can't run from our probelms and until i get the guts up to face this head on, i'm not going to be a happy camper

other than that i've got nothing. i just wanted to write for the sake of blogging.

over and out, i need to make my rounds and visit ya'll :P

pooped out

ok, not "literally", like gross

i mean like tired, only i didn't want to write that cuz pooped just sounds better, ya know? ok, perhaps i'm weird whatev, anyways all this driving for work is tiring me the hell out, and my poor baby luv car that i've had for ever has HAS to be on it's last leg is somehow keeping up with it all (you just watch it will totally break down or something will happen now that i say that). i normally like to drive, i'm always the one that drives if and when we go somewhere together (hardly ever), but DAMN driving All day (well not exactly all day, i'm in and out and going from one stop to the next and driving 1 hr to get there...) is hard on a person, my back hurts, my feet hurt from walkin in heels (i refuse to wear ugly shoes) and it's HOT as hell cuz my air conditioner died like 4 years ago and i'm to cheap to fix it

and i'm still stressing about this freakin job, should i quit, should i stay

back and forth and back and forth

i'm already putting way to much pressure on myself and my anxiety level has to be sky high which is not a good thing for me mentally. i'm half wishing i would've took the summer off, drawn un-employment but no, i took the 1st job i was offered, and i so shouldn't do that the "what if's" but i do. i also wish another job would magically appear, like, now, but sadly there's limited jobs here. i need to quit this cuz i'm driving my self insane and probably making myself sick with worry in the process but you know how if you were addicted to crack and you wanted to quit it, it's something like that. ok. perhaps not that drastic but it's hard for me. i'm a worry wort through and through which has been passed down thru the generations and it's not going to go away over night

that's my rant for the night, i'm going to bed, taking my pooped ass to bed, say thank you

Friday Five

finally a post where i don't bitch, whine and complain....hahahaha ok so that's not really all that funny, and trust me i'm sure i'll be back to my regular whine all too soon

anyways, Happy Friday!!!

and seeings how i haven't done one of these in FOREVER! i'm way over due

5 fav songs of the moment:

Enrique Iglesias - Do you know (the ping pong song) LUV THIS!! & he's hot

Eve - Tambourine

Maroon 5 - Makes me wonder

and the last two i'm almost ashamed to admit i like, but i so do!!

Hilary Duff - Stranger (watch the video, the duffster is all grown up and working the belly dancin)

Good Charlotte - Dance floor anthem, oh god i can't believe i just admitted to liking Good Charlotte....what's the world coming too??

can somebody tell me...

why i'm such a push over?

why don't i like my new job?

why am i missing my old job?

why do i procrastinate so?

why do i hate getting groceries? or better yet..

why do i always pick the slowest freaking lane?

why do i have low self esteem?

why can't i be more positive, and not so negative?

why i've been such a neglectful blogger?

why i can't keep my hands off my face, hence, major zits and greasy face, but i still can't stop touching it!!??

why all of a sudden do i now mind the heat when i used to love it?

why do i constantly compare myself to others?

why is it we can never seem to get ahead?

why is there always a "project" or "repairs" that need to be done?

why do i get such brutal painful headaches that aren't quite a migraine but man they knock me down and out?

why can't i just be happy and content?

why can't i seem to get motivated and start that diet i was supposed to start months ago?

why can't we go back in time to re-do things?

why can't we have sunshine and lollipops everyday?

it's about moi

I am so wanting to pack up and get the "f" out of this job, feel like i'm in way over my head and have a gut feeling that i'm going to a)suck b)not make any money and c)both a & b. right about now my old desk job answering phones is looking pretty sweet, but i will stick with this for at least (hopefully) another month and go from there....

I am so lacking in the self confidence dept, hence my issues with above probably

I need to stop eating. period. better yet EXERCISE. but who the hell wants to do that when its so Freakin HOT! not that i'm complaining about the heat....

I am worried about my sissy, guess she's going thru a tough time, just want her to know that i luv her and that i'm here for her.....

I am LOVING the new season of "so you think u can dance", this show is off the CHAIN! and it's the only thing that i look forward to each week, if you love dancing (and a few hotties) you must check out this show. TRUST ME.

I am stressed out. job woes, possible purchase of a "newer" car i can't seem to relax, oh and having Zil for $$ is downright painful, i hopes i's is getting paid tomorrow.....

I am stoked however for the long weekend, and God Bless Canada Day!!!

I am pretty sure the devil made Ice Cream

I am also pretty sure nobody gives a damn that Paris Hilton is now out of jail....although i must care to mention it...weird.....

I think Paris Hilton is the devil

I would really like to win the lotto, would so be the answer to EVERYTHING, well ok mabye not but it would help

I never compalin about the heat, like Ever, but man it's BLOODY hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think it's wrong for car dealers to charge us more a)for a automatic and b)air condiontioning (bastards)

I hate having a cubicle

I just realized today that I have "phone fear", never thought I did but man i so don't want to make that 1st call....so i don't....

I'm stunned and shocked about Chris Benoit (WWE wrestler), although i never really liked him as he always seemed "off", it's still such a tragic story and my condolances to family and friends

I'm over and out :P

sometimes u just need to cry

oh the pressure of it all finally caught up with me today, i was on my own today (paper work wise and offically on Monday out and about), and i was feeling, well very overwhelmed and un-prepared. i actually half considered throwing my hands up and walking away from it all..and then i had my first actual call and the guy was to put it frankly "a major jerkassfucker", yup that's right all three, and i was so put on the spot and didn't have my #'s right and well i was made to feel really small and stupid. so then i cried. well not really, i held them back and then i sat there wanting to quit and thinking to myself "flea, what the hell are you doing?" honest to fuck. like 10-15 minutes later a co-worker happens to come by to ask me another question and i cracked.

but she was so sweet and understanding and helped me through it and i ended up getting the stupid jerkassfucker to place an ad.

i still feel like crying my eyes out though, whenever i start bawling i can't seem to stop. thankfully i tapered off enough to get me home and now i can't seem to snap out of this funk. must be hormones or something AND on top of that i want ice cream. thank jebus i don't have any here in the house.

in other news, hope to god i have a relaxing weekend i'm so wound up and stressed i don't think i can handle anything else. the only thing we have planned is a baby shower tomorrow afternoon. oh what fun, and man are baby things freakin expensive!! no wonder i keep pushing baby thoughts away.....

hope everyone else has a good one! i'm out :P

Dear Mr. Ronald McDonald:

First of all I have to commend you for building your little McHappy empire, bravo! However, I do seem to have a small little problem with your establishment. You see every time I drive by the Golden Arches or just so happen to be in the vicinity of one, I cannot seem to resit the lure to order a Quarter Pounder and fries (option #2 from the menu, sad that I know that I know isn't it?) with a Diet Coke, like that somehow makes it all "OK".

I realise that you are now "promoting" a new "healthy" menu but who the hell wants to order that after getting a whiff of those oh so yummy fries? umm, hello?! NOBODY! Exactly, my point. No I'm not suggesting you get rid of your fries, OK maybe possibly but we all need to live on the edge once and awhile...so perhaps maybe you should restrict some sort of rule or something like what they do for alcoholics, put up our pictures in every store like were on America's most wanted list and ban us from having more than one order of fries a week or something.....OK maybe that didn't come out exactly as i had planned...that's a bit much isn't it?

ummm..

In conclusion, I suggest that you Mr. Ronald McDonald should be forced to drink a Texas Mickey and be recorded on a web cam performing ludicrous acts so all the little children will become afraid of you and therefore no more McDonald's...

oh bloody hell, I'm just going to have to do this on my own. I HOPE YOU DIE!!!!!

sincerely,

Miss Flea Flea

getting into the grove again SUXS!

so the new job is going, along with my brain at a 100 miles an hour...

so much info to take it it's all a bit overwhelming, and it's funny how as soon as you walk across that parking lot and into a new office or job all your previous 1st days come back at you at once and it's like "oh yeah this is why i HATE starting a new job".

sweaty hands. check
fast heart rate. check
unable to ask questions/lack of speech. check
glazed eye look. check
massive headache. check
mentally exhausted. check

ok, it's not so bad, no wait it sort of is but then again being out of the work loop for a month probably doesn't really help, but i'm adjusting. i just hate not knowing when to "snack" or go the the washroom and becomming comfortable in my new washroom settings. i just thank god they don't have stalls, that is one bonus. oh and i have a cubicle, that's a new adjustment too, thankfully though it sounds like i'll be out of the office more than in, so that's another plus...

all in all it's a change and a start and hell it's only tuesday!

things are going to change!

GUESS WHAT!!!!!


i got a job

happy dance
happy dance

it's a whole new world (sales) and i'm scared shitless but i'm up for the challenge and change and better yet i start on Monday. i'm on a 3 month probation period and i get to go on a course and everything. i really feel like this is a new beginning.

thank you jeebus!!!