slave driver

sorry for the lack of posts (yet again), dear faithful reader but you will have to excuse miss flea flea as she has/is pulling some serious overtime hours at work and is working herself to the bone to make some extra $$

therefore, she may be absent from this site for awhile

we hope these 4 weeks of overtime go very quickly and painlessly and to have miss flea flea back to her normal regular self very soon

please check regularly for updates or posts as she will be back at some point

xoxo
miss flea flea's pps

i got nothin

so not much has really happend in my life since my last little rant

i'm still majorly confused, down and out and all that fun stuff

but

i did have a nice (although short) visit with my sis, which was nice

oh

and our super fun fantastic nite out making fools of ourselves with jilly and stephen (now those 2 are funny). lot's of memories, good food and drinks (cosmo's are my new fav)

it's sad to see the leaves changing and falling off

it's also sad that it is getting chilly/rainy and icky (november is so around the corner...shudder)
man i hate but yet still love fall

like the other day i was walking with the dogs and it was warm but yet still that fall air you know and the leaves were pretty and i felt good....and well now not so much

this is sooooo not my time of the year and it's very hard to be positive and upbeat but man i'm sure trying and staying in it

other than that i got nothing...no funny stories (well i prob could find 1 or 2 but have no energy to go there tonite..sorry)

anyways hope all is well with everyone else will catch up another time
as for now it's nite nite time :P

peace out

so what!

so what

if i work at a call centre
if i have to do a job that i don't really enjoy and have to repeat myself over and over..and over
if i get yelled at 20+ times a day from irrate customer's
if i feel like i'm back in jr high cuz i work with a bunch of young/immature pps

so what

if i'm not totally 100% happy
if i'm royally confused and lost and require major direction
if i don't reallly know who i am as a person
if i have no clue where i am going to be in 10 years

so what

if i have a slight (ok it's a big one) addiction to mcdonald's and probably require an intervention
if i am in debt up to my elbows
if i like to eat crackers plain
if i sit up half the nite listening to my thoughts race a mile a minute

so what

if i like to go shopping just to pick myself up (even though i'm flat broke)
if i have house flys (eww)
if my cooking isn't exactly the best, actually it's barely existant (can u say frozen dinners)
if i like to lay in bed all day on my day off

so what

if i'm already freaking out about Christmas shopping
if i'm a little bit of a control/clean freak (with some things..not all)
if i had a really bad interview experience and didn't get the job
if i have an old ratty beat up car that is on it's last leg, and is sort of embarassing to be seen in

it's my life, that's the way it is, now i just need to deal with it :P

blurb it's

yes, i know it i've been a bad blogger (i almost typed booger..hahaha..sigh), no new posts, no visits to my faithful (diminishing) readers...promise i'll try harder :)

so yet another moose season is apon us. for those of you that aren't involved in the "hunting" world i envy you. sadly my hubs is a "devoted" hunter, and yes they got their stupid moose. which now means 3 days of endless drinking for him. thankfully this only occurs once a year, and even more thankfully it all takes place at the camp and i don't have to deal with "the drunkeness" but i do hate being home alone...and it's dark...i hate the dark.....you get my drift

it's now offically fall. god i hate fall. yes it's pretty and the weather has been fab lately, but for some reason i always find i'm more depressed this time of year. perhaps it is due to the fact that my hubs big fat pay check will take a huge decrease any week now (seasonal worker), or the fact that ahem Christmas (shudders) is looming in the distance. ugh.

on a positive note though, my sissy is coming home next weekend for thanksgiving (yipee!!) haven't seen her since may, can't wait to spend time with her/see her

you know, i think i'm slowly loosing my mind. i have voices that talk to each other and well they sort of argue. like for example:

voice 1 "you know you should just hang in their with this job it's not that bad and the pay is good you get good bonus, and a chance to move up"...

voice 2 "yes, but wouldn't you rather be doing this"...or i dunno this isn't coming out how i planned...but they totally bicker back and forth and sometimes i can't go to sleep at night cuz they just won't shut the f@#*! up you know...

ok, forget what i just said

i totally jigged work yesterday

you know why? cuz i had no sleep the nite before cuz of the voices in my head! that and my damn dog would NOT stop farting all night long and as if farting wasn't bad enough. these things smelled so freakin bad like rotten nasty ass chili that has sat out for days bad. like eww. i so wanted to vomit ever time he did it. like what the hell did he eat?? seriously??

lordy, lordy

so lot's of new shows starting & the oldies are back (grey's!!!), haven't really gotten back into the full grove of t.v yet but i am liking a new show called Gossip Girl, very trendy & quite good (so far), other than that i haven't really took in any other new shows. oh, sure i've tried to watch the spin from grey's Private practice but that show just doesn't feel "right" or something...not liking it

you know i totally forgot to do a fashion run down from the emmy's!!

man i'm really out of it aren't i? mabye it's cuz i didn't watch?? meh

i think it's time for bed!!

peace out :P

tip of the tongue

confused
angry
bitter
resentful
tired..oh so tired
hungry (all the time)
anxious
stressed
crabby
frustrated
nervous wreck...

just to name a few, i sum it up best by referring to myself as a cracked plate/pot whatever, it can only go so long before it finally cracks and man i so feel like i'm getting near there. i was almost at this point a month ago whilst at the other job i hated, mind you i don't quite hate this one as much (yet) but i can't help thinking what the hell am i doing and this is sooo not for me. but what is exactly?

dunno

but that's what i'm itching/dying to know

i just know i want out of this job (yet again!), what's wrong with me? i just wish someone can fix things and find me the right job, which, by the way i have never found, sure i thought i was happy in a few i had but really i wasn't. so what's the answer? back to school? can't afford it, plain and simple & don't want a student loan coming out my ass forever, and ever...

guess i just have to put my big girl panties on and get over it, just don't know how

and sadly the only thing i enjoy lately is watching re-runs of the OC on much music...

~sigh~

nope, things aren't any better here

news flash

mizz flea flea's people would like to apologize for her recent absence here on her blog page.

we also wanted to inform you that she's

a)not dead
b)hasn't been institutionalized
c)been abducted by aliens

she would also like us to inform you that she's "going through some things" (whatever the hell that means were just quoting her) which may be a result of the following:

- being laid off/dismissed from yet another job (yup, that's right what a loser eh!) mind you she wants us to stress that she hated it with a passion and was truly relieved to be let go

- still dealing with repressed rage and hate for her former employer that kicked off this entire string of bad luck in the 1st place (we'd like to note that she needs to move on from this but for some reason she cannot let it go) and every time she sees their truck's/employees out and about this rage just resurfaces and makes her angry/depressed (crazy!! & she needs meds but i didn't say it...)

- having to cave and take a job that she could've took before she started the last job (which she hated, remember?) and have to work nights/weekends, and learn a whole lot of goobly gunk that hurts her poor little head

- dealing with a bad, bad little puppy that gets into everything and really tries her patience

- missing miss britney spear's horrific performance on the mva's (like hello!) this may actually have cheered her up a bit to see someone worse off than her

- being lazy and out of shape and having no mojo to do anything about it (we think she needs to stop going thru the mcdonald's drive thru....)

- and basically not knowing what she wants to do with her life in general. she wants us to stress that everything suxs ass right now and for you all to bear with her while she goes through this difficult time. hopefully she will snap out of her little pity party soon, were frankly quite tired of her negativity...but you didn't hear that from me......

sincerely,

mizz flea flea's conscience

HI!

I'm Riley, i'm only 3 months old but as you can tell i'm already quite a big dog (please don't make fun of my ears). i'm loving my new home and my new parents, they give me food and water and don't get too mad at me if i make a mess on the floor (i'm really trying not to). they have a great big yard for me to run and play in and i also now have a new best friend! she sometimes gets mad at me if i bug her too much, or if i try to eat her food, which mommy says i'm not supposed to do, but sometimes i can't help but be a little bad...

oh and did i mention they have cats? i've never seen one of them before! i love to chase them so, and they always run and hide from me and all i want to do is play. i hope they get used to me soon, all i want to do is play, i promise i won't hurt them.

all in all i think i'm going to like it here :)

gotta go chase my new friend!!

sick little flea flea

so on top of everything else, i get sick. i couldn't even enjoy the weekend as i started feeling crappy Saturday night while attending my uncles going away party (he's moving out west). it started with a scratchy throat (which i hate having a sore throat more than anything) and proceeded from there. i'm already exhausted, but with this cold i can't sleep (which i need) cuz i'm up all night either sneezing or tending to my leaky nose (so gross)

poor pitiful me

ok, enough of that

so i had my "testing" today. i think it went ok. i'm not going to jinx myself though and say i aced the test, as i'm sure i didn't but overall i have a pretty good feeling and lets keep our fingers crossed. i don't normally do well with tests but i kept a level head and just did my best and well that's all one can do really...

in other news, the pup is rapidly growing like a weed, he still chases the cats and has the odd mess or two on the floor, but he's a lot more comfortable now with us & in the home so that's good. seems like it's been more than 2 wks though since we got him but that's all it's been.

the weather has also improved, i think i might actually get back a little tan as it's "pool" weather all this week!!! can't wait to savor and enjoy it, if only this cold would let up...

anyways, i'm out! :P

for the love of...

honestly it just gets better and better for me, i think this has to be the wurst summer EVER

so i just got "laid off" from the stupid ass job that i've wanted to quit ALL summer

cha

i'm not sure if i should be sad, happy, mad, i'm a little bit of both. i mean i stuck it out that long and then for them to lay me off...sigh why can't i leave a job on my own terms for once? really though...

anyhoo, i will be able to get EI though so that's one bonus cuz there sure as hell isn't anything for jobs in my crappy province. although i do have an interview/test on monday for a gov't job, so please everyone pray for me monday morning!! would be so sweet if i could nail this test and get the job. fer real.

that's all i got, hopefully with my loads and loads of free time i'll be able to get some pics of the pup for ya's.

peace out, i need to get caught up on you all :P

i'm still kickin

man has it been a week?

geesh

honestly what a week, you know i think my hubby and i need a kick in the head cuz we so wen't and got a new puppy and OMG I SO FORGOT HOW MUCH WORK! fer real. he won't stop barking/crying all night long and the last 2 nights i've slept on the couch just so he'll actually sleep. and then on top of all that we have to train him to sit, pee/poop outside, stay, what "no" actually means, and just basically everything. oh and did i mention he's never seen a cat before? my poor baby kitty's are mortified and he will not stop chasing them. ok, if i ever, ever want a puppy again could someone please talk me out of it?

jebus

so i'm so sleep deprived it's not even funny

on the other hand though i do have some positive news on the job front. they hired another girl to take over my old route so i'll now be able to stay "local" and won't have to do near as much travelling, so i'm anxious to see if i'll like it better or not. hopefully i will.

other than that i got nothing, other than the fact that i'm so freakin disappointed in the weather it has cooled off dramatically and feels like (gasp) fall! so wrong. oh and kids are back to school next week in some area's. like honestly where did the summer go?

peace out, i'm on puppy duty :P

my b-day present to myself

so i finally, finally caved and had to purchase i.d bare minerals for my birthday (which was yesterday), i've been eying/wanting this product for ever, or at least since i saw the infomercial last summer...

and it arrived Today!!!

so, i just had to scrub off my makeup and try it, and holy freakin cow it's so easy! and i feel like i have no makeup on at all, and my skin is silky smooth already just after one use, this stuff is amazing!!!

isn't it amzing how 1 little thing can make a person happy?

*oh and i got free samples too!! god love sephora

: )

a tribute to Bandit

since i have been going through a lot of old photo's, and seeings how someone very wise told me to journal how i'm feeling through this whole process, i figured i'd post some pics of bandit, along with some stories and tid bits about his life and why he was so special.

up above, is a photo of him and my other shepard, Zoey, who is still with us, only here she's just a baby and they are fighting (more playing) over a stick

that was always one thing with bandit, he was never rough with her, only if and when she wen't near his food did he put her in her place. oh how they played and played pretty much until the last month they always would taunt, play and tease each other





















next up is a pic of the hubs with the dogs, while we were out snowshoeing on our property. we wen't on several adventures, the hubs more so than I really with the dogs. and man did they love to go!

bandit tidbits:

the hubs liked to call him "trigster" for a nickname, along with banditdog

he also always, always buried his dog bones that we bought them every year for Christmas

he would snap and eat a moosefly, bumblebee or hornet

he usually slept by my side of the bed (more so towards the end) and zoey always sleeps on the hubs side















here's another pic of him in his younger days, this was when we were renting a house with god awful fugly carpeting in a nice pea soup green. nice eh? we also get a nice view of my hand-me-down couch that we've since re-upholstered...oh and also how HUGE bandit's ears were. weren't they massive? hubs always used to joke and say "all the better to hear you with" from little red riding hood














another shot of the back porch of the house we rented. here i think he's saying would you quit it already with the camera and let me in already? again, i can't believe how young he looks here

bandit tidbit:

he was named after "Smokey and the Bandit", as they had a cat named smokey
















another snow shoe trip, i don't think i wen't on this one, or at least i don't remember it. i think he looks so pretty in this shot, and ready to jump or take off and go any second

bandit tidbit:

he looked forward to getting my left over cereal every morning as i never usually eat it all

he also had a fondness for mac & cheese

he dispised going to the vet, and he always knew when we were taking him

















and lastly this is quite possibly my fav pic ever of the dogs and us. i actually wanted more pics with the dogs but by the time we got around to getting them (semi) calmed down there was only the 1 pic left on the roll of film. and do you think we could get both of them to sit? hell no! but it's priceless how bandit is licking the hubs face and zoey is looking up at him (yes, they so love him more it's so obivious)

and finally the story of the 1st time i met bandit. u see the hubs and i weren't offically together yet, and my cousin jilly and I wanted to play a prank on the hubs. so one night we put together what we wanted to do (all i remember it was something with a rope?? no idea why, or what exactly for...), anyways we wanted to leave this rope in the hubs mailbox (he lived out on a country road), so off we go and it's just starting to get dusk out, so the sun is setting, we park the car on another road and walk up to his place thinking nobody to be home....well someone was home alright, this great big HUGE german shepard comes out and starts barking and chasing us and no sooner could i turn around and run then jilly comes flying past me like a bullet with that dog right on her heels. i burst out laughing, lose my shoe, get my shoe back on and run and catch us with miss speedy back at the car. had we known what a gentle giant he was, we would've known he would never have hurt us, still though we had a good laugh and scare and i didn't really become his "mommy" til about a year or so later.

i also hate to say that he was my favorite, but he sort of was. i love zoey to death in her own way but bandit was just special. a peaceful, caring, loving soul who loved us, protected us and was loyal to us. he loved both of us equally, where as zoey is solely devoted to the hubs, yeah sure she loves me a little but not like she loves him. stupid i know but i somewhat considered him my dog, even though i knew truly he wasn't. he will be truly missed and thought of every day. i just like to think of him up in heaven running along a woods trail of some sort just waiting for us to some day join him :)

from happy news, to sad news

well, you know from one high to another, there's no other way for me...

to the left is one of my dogs, bandit, who for the past month has slowly gotten lamer, thinner, and just plain uncomfortable. I've known for probably a few months that we would inevitably have to put him down but you know how you never want to face the fact and you keep thinking oh he'll get better or i don't know exactly what, denial i guess. and it's just so heartbreaking to see him this way as he is just not himself

well, sadly i think today is the day

i think the hubs finally realizes that he's just in too much pain and what's the point of keeping him here for our own selfish reasons....

so as i sit here typing frantically away, the grave is being dug and now i can't stop crying. words can't express my heartache or how much this dog has truly meant to me. from the 1st time i meet him, which is a funny story perhaps for another day to how he loves us so unconditionally. and on an even sadder note i think the other animals "know" or sense something as there all watching him or around him.

i just had to get some of these emotions out, sorry for dumping it on you all

*update - it's now offical my bandit has gone on to a better place. my house feels empty and quiet and i keep expecting to see or hear him, so weird

something positive for a change

a big CONGRATS goes out to my hubby's bestest friend Jamie & his girlfriend Krystal for delivering a healthy baby boy into the world this morning!!!!

so excited for you guys

can't wait to see him, this almost, ALMOST gives me baby thoughts/twinges....

NOT!!! ok mabye just a little.....

now that means i have to finish the present that i've only been working slowly at for months now. martha stewart i am not. so krystal if you are reading this, i'm still working on your baby quilt and I promise i'll try to get it finished soon. and i'm to lazy to take a pic and show you all, perhaps another day :P

peace out!

same old, same old

i got nothing new really, just thought i would report that i'm still alive.

it's still bloody hot, humid, sticky
my job still blows goats
still having no luck what-so-ever finding a new job
i can't believe tomorrow is the last day of July, where the hell did the summer go? and yes it's pretty much over once August hits..sorry but it's true
i've also yet to start my diet. boo! :( so lazy is me

and that's about all really. that and what a neglectful blogger i've been. shame, shame on me i must catch up and visit you all.

peace out :P

more ranting and whining

i'm tired
hot
cranky
achy
smelly, sweaty and greasy
sunburned
bloated
oh
and if i find one more bloody zit on any part of my body i'm going to scream!!
did i mention i'm extremely tired
i'm so going to bed now

peace out :P

magic lamp

so i am totally ripping this from beth over at 'blind as a bat" (check her out if you haven't, LOVE her!!), anyways it's a 3 wish type deal so here goes.....

1) to learn yoga/meditate, i know it's a lame wish but with all my inner turmoil of late I could really use some of this right now...better yet make that into me having a "personal trainer/yoga master" at my every beck and call

2) a shoe closet the size of half my house, ok no wait bigger! with every possible shoe imaginable, heels, boots, flip flops, sneakers, dressy, casual, you name it it would be in this closet

3) and lastly i would wish for my own tropical island, with a huge fantastic fabulous house, where i can run away too or live all year round as i've somehow come into money, or invented some object or thing that made me lots of money so i don't have to work. note that I did not wish for money even though i wanted too :P

where is everyone at?

so i've noticed that not so many pps are out and about writing in the blogging world lately (myself included), why is that? is blogger becoming a fading fad, what with facebook and other outlets. or is it simply because it's summertime and everyone is out enjoying life, warm weather and even cooler beer (or in my case a rum & coke)?

in other news, i seem to be going through something. i'm just so confused, emotional, depressed that i can hardly think straight. needless to say i need to do a lot of soul searching but can't/won't take the time to reflect. i'm cranky, tired, and could cry at the drop of a hat and i want to just pull the covers up over my head and make it all go away, but, alas we can't run from our probelms and until i get the guts up to face this head on, i'm not going to be a happy camper

other than that i've got nothing. i just wanted to write for the sake of blogging.

over and out, i need to make my rounds and visit ya'll :P

pooped out

ok, not "literally", like gross

i mean like tired, only i didn't want to write that cuz pooped just sounds better, ya know? ok, perhaps i'm weird whatev, anyways all this driving for work is tiring me the hell out, and my poor baby luv car that i've had for ever has HAS to be on it's last leg is somehow keeping up with it all (you just watch it will totally break down or something will happen now that i say that). i normally like to drive, i'm always the one that drives if and when we go somewhere together (hardly ever), but DAMN driving All day (well not exactly all day, i'm in and out and going from one stop to the next and driving 1 hr to get there...) is hard on a person, my back hurts, my feet hurt from walkin in heels (i refuse to wear ugly shoes) and it's HOT as hell cuz my air conditioner died like 4 years ago and i'm to cheap to fix it

and i'm still stressing about this freakin job, should i quit, should i stay

back and forth and back and forth

i'm already putting way to much pressure on myself and my anxiety level has to be sky high which is not a good thing for me mentally. i'm half wishing i would've took the summer off, drawn un-employment but no, i took the 1st job i was offered, and i so shouldn't do that the "what if's" but i do. i also wish another job would magically appear, like, now, but sadly there's limited jobs here. i need to quit this cuz i'm driving my self insane and probably making myself sick with worry in the process but you know how if you were addicted to crack and you wanted to quit it, it's something like that. ok. perhaps not that drastic but it's hard for me. i'm a worry wort through and through which has been passed down thru the generations and it's not going to go away over night

that's my rant for the night, i'm going to bed, taking my pooped ass to bed, say thank you

Friday Five

finally a post where i don't bitch, whine and complain....hahahaha ok so that's not really all that funny, and trust me i'm sure i'll be back to my regular whine all too soon

anyways, Happy Friday!!!

and seeings how i haven't done one of these in FOREVER! i'm way over due

5 fav songs of the moment:

Enrique Iglesias - Do you know (the ping pong song) LUV THIS!! & he's hot

Eve - Tambourine

Maroon 5 - Makes me wonder

and the last two i'm almost ashamed to admit i like, but i so do!!

Hilary Duff - Stranger (watch the video, the duffster is all grown up and working the belly dancin)

Good Charlotte - Dance floor anthem, oh god i can't believe i just admitted to liking Good Charlotte....what's the world coming too??