dodged a bullet to the head

the last few days have been well interesting....

1st I discover that I am being "laid off" (only for a couple of months, but, whatev, it's laid off) from yet another job (making that the 4th time i have left/been "laid off" god I hate that word from a job)

then I discover that pretty much everyone, well ok not everyone but most pps, in the office aren't happy and have been thinking about leaving, including the lady that trained me. who was disgusted and very upset that they would "lay me off" and told me not to worry as she may leave instead as she had another offer.

hmm interesting I think

but I didn't get my hopes up

instead, i dive head 1st into deep black despair and panic. needless to say last thrusday was not a good one. and my drive to work on my last official day was not pleasant. in fact I didn't want to go.

then

positive yet sad news. she's leaving and i'm staying

so therefore i've dodged a pretty big bullet

thank god i don't have to file for EI yet AGAIN!
thank god we wont starve
thank god I don't have to look for another job ASAP
thank god I can still keep my hair appointment in 2 weeks as i'm in desperate need of highlights
thank god we can keep our house
thank godwe don't have to sell the animals
thank god we don't have to move out west and sell our souls to the devil

there is a god and he loves me!!!!

heee!

one would think that I would still be happy and rejoicing.

sadly, nope

back to being overweight, poor, depressed, angry, bitter

yadda yadda yadda

just cuz

i believe i have the "christmas blues"....

i have nothing really to write or talk about...

i'm bored and sitting home on a saturday night in my pj's when i should be out celebrating my bestest cousin in the whole wide world's birthday... (happy birthday jilly! luv you!)

were broke, lazy and somewhat hesitant to go outside and drive 30 minutes to come and visit you as it did storm today and the roads are probably bad...

i'm farting like a man (or animal) from eating too much candy...

i still haven't taken down my christmas tree and i never leave it up this long

i have a mountain of laundry to do and i just can't seem to muster the energy to tackle it, so it just keep growing

i think i am finally getting over this stupid cold, finally

there isn't a godamn thing on t.v. lately, is it from the holiday or the writers strike??

as of monday i am going offically on a diet/exercise binge, wonder how long i'll last this time

i wonder if i can be hyponotized to not eat certain foods (ie. french fries)

well i'll think i'll go back to my romance novel now

peace out

Happy New Year if i'm not back in a few

it's HERE!

miz flea flea is wishing EVERYONE

a

VERY


MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

and now she is going to go open her presents, eat lots and lots of food, and have a very long nap and hopefully sleep away this gosh darn cold that won't let up one bit. ah well, hope everyone else has a super fantastic day!!!!

sickly flea flea

just when you think you have the christmas rush beat, i get sick. and i'm down for the count. only 1 more day of work left to battle through (and trust me it's a battle). i'm tired, weak, full of snot and the wurst of all is the sore throat. god i hate sore throats!

so becuz i'm weak, tired and most of all lazy

i leave you with this humours pic of me from last weekends drunkness-escapade

Enjoy

too many things to do...and i have no clue where to begin...

ugh

how i hate, hate all the hustle and bustle as everyone is frantically running around doing "this" and "that" as they finish up any last minute shopping or purchasing food for the holidays. nothing but a headache for me and sends my anxiety sky high.

for example

while stopping at 2 stores today on my lunch hour (1 store being evil Wal-Mart) i encountered crowded isles, screaming kids (why aren't they in school?), painfully slow old people (i'm sorry but it's so true!) and the oh so fun long lineup at the cash register, where nobody can figure out where they should be standing, oh and having a kid kick my cart and laugh about it and then continue to do it while the mom stood right there and watched...

sigh

thankfully i went into the stores with a mission, got what I wanted and got out. now I just need to check and make sure i'm not missing anything and get groceries either tomorrow or the day after, which I am dreading even more so than what I went through today.

on an uplifting note, this time next week it will all (almost) be over!

god i'm such a grinch

hope all is well with everyone else

i'm an idiot but then again i knew that...

who goes oh let's say for example 3 months without getting their beat up piece of shit car inspected...

ahem

silence

sadly, that's my hand you see ever so slowly going up in the air

what is even more sad is that I didn't even notice this the hubs and our local mechanic (doing yet more repairs so I can get thru the winter before buying a newer car...grrr), so not only do i have to bow my head in shame but i have to have the hubs point this out and rub it in (like any husband is bound to do)

like honestly, i thought i had this done already, and even so 3 months!

god i know my life has been somewhat of a black hole the last few months but this so didn't even cross my mind. scary.

sigh

so that's another $230 down the drain and my car may quite possibly not even pass inspection when and if I ever get this done (hopefully this weekend)

get ready for a rant people cuz their is a big one coming

so not only do i have to drop down car repairs in the month that we are quite possibly the poorest ever. but we need to do the following (in no particular order)

purchase a new wood stove - $600 +
get the new pup fixed - $80-100
purchase a new satellite receiver as ours has been defective now since summer (yes I procrastinate) - $100-150 more than likely this will be our or mine christmas gift as it's really the only thing I want
order more of my allergy vaccine - $120 and I don't have health coverage right now which SUCKS
get the car inspected (hahaha) - $50 ? god only knows what they will find

and i'm sure there are more but frankly seeing it all written out really isn't helping matters, in fact I think i'm hyper ventaliting.

i think i might throw up

i'm out

Friday Free Play

yet another friday, and what better to do than review my latest fav music pics in a group of 5 (haven't done one of these in ages, so why not?)

anyways, hope everyone is having a super fantastic friday

only 18 more days til Christmas - part of me is giddy when i say that and the other part is groaning...

back to the music

Friday Five:

J. Holiday - Bed (music/video playing in the sidebar)

Alicia Keys - No one (love this!)

Kanye West featuring T-Pain - Good life (luv this too!!! so sad about his mommy too...)

One Republic featuring Timberland (freaking genius) - Apologize (getting a little sick of this but still like)

and lastly

Linkin Park - Bleed it out (my anger song, it totally rocks)

peace out :P

it's beginning to look a lot like...

SNOW

and plenty of it

were being hit HARD by a major storm. i'd take a pic but i'm too lazy

one can only hope that tomorrow will be a snow day, but alas because I want it to be it won't

miz flea flea so didn't want to go to work today, had a brutal painful headache last night and didn't get any sleep. so tired and sort of sick to my stomach. wanted nothing more than to be home in bed and now that i'm home and it's going on 10:00 at night here i sit at the computer yet again. weird. and what up with that

but my mind is restless and i know sleep is not soon inevitable.

sigh

i so haven't done anything to get prepared for (dun dun dun) Christmas, god sometimes i hate that word but it always brings tingly, happy feelings with it. and this being our first major snow storm and seeing snow on the ground one can't help but get that fuzzy feeling inside. perhaps will actually have snow this year for Christmas (the last 3-4 we haven't had any), might be kind of nice. just not fun driving in it

anyways that's really all i got, not much but at least i'm posting and trying to get this blogger thing rolling again, i've been somewhat neglectful (again) mabye i should hire some new pps?

peace the spork out

sleepy or grumpy...or both

so i've been majorly tired for the past few weeks, can't seem to sleep when i want to which thus makes me grumpy. so i guess i'm both dwarves from snow white.

can anyone else remember the names of the rest of them?

cuz i only remember these two & sneezy or is there a sneezy?

and am i the only grownup that wants to watch the new disney flick "enchanted"? for some reason i really want to see this movie....

so due to my severe tiredness i haven't been doing much. i pretty much just lounge ALL day on my days off and then head back to the grind of the workforce on monday, even more tired than i was on friday.

well i due manage to take the dogs for a walk but that's about it

pretty boring life i must say but that's all i got for now (i just got really tired again....think i may go have a nap)

peace out

gone and done it now

like an idiot that i am, i succumed to the now "infamous" video online 2 girls 1 cup.

2 days ago i'd never heard tell of this website and frankly i wished that i had never googled the damn thing in the 1st place. and i'm not really sure why i'm venting this here as the last thing i want is for other people to be as traumatized as i still am. but i'm getting ahead of myself. like all good stories it needs a beginning....

so i'm doing my random checks on the blogs i like to frequent and while visiting Mo's site it leads me to watch a video of a man watching yet another video that we can't see and he's gagging/vomiting what not. frankly i wasn't amused but yet i still watched and just had to investigate further (which is so like me), come to find out that the said video in question is quite poplar on youtube of people watching it and gagging and what not by now my curiosity is peaked, what the hell is this video and it cannot possibly be that disgusting.

hahaha oh man what a fool i am i soooo should've known better

anyways

so i do more research

and lo and behold i find the website (which i'm not sharing as i do not recommend anyone to watch this EVER! but if you are like me you are bound to find it anyways...just be forewarned)

i watch it once, and honestly i thought to myself ok eww, and somehow convinced myself it was like watching a fake movie. i wasn't that repulsed.

then i watch it again (like a dumbass) and now i'm gagging, omg did she just do what i think she just did and *insert vomiting sounds here several in fact*

then i go out to the hubs violated beyond words and made him come and watch it cuz i just couldn't believe my eyes. i couldn't even get through the last time and now i cannot get this freaking video out of my head and i want to gag/vomit every time i think of it

like how the hell could anyone, ANYONE eat poo, and then vomit on the poo and eat it too

i don't care how high you are on crack you would never, EVER do anything like that if you were in your right mind

*shudders*

not only is that bad enough but to then tape it, and sadly have people like me sit and watch it and now talk about it on their blog.

what a sad sad world we live in today

i think i may go huddle under my bed covers and never come out again

while the boy is away...a girl must play!! mwhaaa

ok, that's a bit much

but i'm FREE

totally alone

just me and the dogs.....

and the cat...

ok mabye not entirely alone but you get my drift

it's the hubs "annual end of the hunting season drunk fest weekend" that he attends every year, with the same friends at the same stupid camp...blah blah...tradition....whatever

i used to hate/dread these weekends

now however i somewhat look forward to them

becuz

i can do whatever i want (not like i don't usually but you know) just stupid stuff

like eating cookie dough that i had stashed away, until my belly hurts and i want to vomit....but it was soooo yummy!

watching all the t.v. shows THAT I WANT TO WATCH....no stupid survivor, or the discovery channel!!!!

sit in my "fat" jogging pants with paint on them, no makeup, hair not done, etc, etc

perhaps lay in bed ALL day on saturday

or

go shopping and spend money i don't have

or crank up the christmas tunes and decorate the house....mabye not, cuz i'm not THAT ambitious

either way the possibilities are endless

i'm almost so excited i could squeal like a wee little pig

ok

mabye not like a pig.....

HEE!! i'm free!!

blurb it's

I'M BACK!!

man what a long, rough go the last four weeks, but it's OVER and the bestest part is I have officially worked my last day at the evil call center and I start yet another new job tomorrow. here's to hoping that 3rd time is the charm and that i can finally get back to a somewhat normal life as i won't have to work anymore weekends or have people yell and scream at me all day!

HEE!

it's my dad's b-day today!! happy birthday daddy!!!

you know i've been so busy/self evolved i hadn't even noticed that we are into November, my least favorite month. man where have the last few weeks gone? oh, right..we won't go there again...stupid call center

ok

what else is new?

not much really

i'm still poor/broke

still 20 pounds over weight

and i almost suffered from a mental breakdown...ok, mabye that's dramatic but yet not, cuz it was just that bad. truly, i wasn't happy and was in a very dark place the last few months, i hope this new job brings new change/light to my life. i feel so much better already just knowing that i don't have to go back there and sit and say mindless things over and over, and did i mention the people yelling/screaming at me.....sigh...i wonder if i can get hyponotized to forget it all.....

my new puppy, isn't really a puppy anymore. well he's only 6 months but man he is already as big as zoey and STILL growing. all he does is eat. he is going to be freakin huge. have to soon make his appointment to get his "boys" cut off. poor bastard.

still have yet to start christmas shopping, and dreading every second of it

and i had my 1st ever flat tire a couple weeks ago. so. not. cool. thankfully, the hubs was home and came to my rescue. could've been much worse.

anyways.....i must get to my housework it's been 4 weeks of the hubs doing some of the cleaning, so you can just imagine what my house looks like

i've missed all of you and can't wait to catch up

peace out :P

slave driver

sorry for the lack of posts (yet again), dear faithful reader but you will have to excuse miss flea flea as she has/is pulling some serious overtime hours at work and is working herself to the bone to make some extra $$

therefore, she may be absent from this site for awhile

we hope these 4 weeks of overtime go very quickly and painlessly and to have miss flea flea back to her normal regular self very soon

please check regularly for updates or posts as she will be back at some point

xoxo
miss flea flea's pps

i got nothin

so not much has really happend in my life since my last little rant

i'm still majorly confused, down and out and all that fun stuff

but

i did have a nice (although short) visit with my sis, which was nice

oh

and our super fun fantastic nite out making fools of ourselves with jilly and stephen (now those 2 are funny). lot's of memories, good food and drinks (cosmo's are my new fav)

it's sad to see the leaves changing and falling off

it's also sad that it is getting chilly/rainy and icky (november is so around the corner...shudder)
man i hate but yet still love fall

like the other day i was walking with the dogs and it was warm but yet still that fall air you know and the leaves were pretty and i felt good....and well now not so much

this is sooooo not my time of the year and it's very hard to be positive and upbeat but man i'm sure trying and staying in it

other than that i got nothing...no funny stories (well i prob could find 1 or 2 but have no energy to go there tonite..sorry)

anyways hope all is well with everyone else will catch up another time
as for now it's nite nite time :P

peace out

so what!

so what

if i work at a call centre
if i have to do a job that i don't really enjoy and have to repeat myself over and over..and over
if i get yelled at 20+ times a day from irrate customer's
if i feel like i'm back in jr high cuz i work with a bunch of young/immature pps

so what

if i'm not totally 100% happy
if i'm royally confused and lost and require major direction
if i don't reallly know who i am as a person
if i have no clue where i am going to be in 10 years

so what

if i have a slight (ok it's a big one) addiction to mcdonald's and probably require an intervention
if i am in debt up to my elbows
if i like to eat crackers plain
if i sit up half the nite listening to my thoughts race a mile a minute

so what

if i like to go shopping just to pick myself up (even though i'm flat broke)
if i have house flys (eww)
if my cooking isn't exactly the best, actually it's barely existant (can u say frozen dinners)
if i like to lay in bed all day on my day off

so what

if i'm already freaking out about Christmas shopping
if i'm a little bit of a control/clean freak (with some things..not all)
if i had a really bad interview experience and didn't get the job
if i have an old ratty beat up car that is on it's last leg, and is sort of embarassing to be seen in

it's my life, that's the way it is, now i just need to deal with it :P

blurb it's

yes, i know it i've been a bad blogger (i almost typed booger..hahaha..sigh), no new posts, no visits to my faithful (diminishing) readers...promise i'll try harder :)

so yet another moose season is apon us. for those of you that aren't involved in the "hunting" world i envy you. sadly my hubs is a "devoted" hunter, and yes they got their stupid moose. which now means 3 days of endless drinking for him. thankfully this only occurs once a year, and even more thankfully it all takes place at the camp and i don't have to deal with "the drunkeness" but i do hate being home alone...and it's dark...i hate the dark.....you get my drift

it's now offically fall. god i hate fall. yes it's pretty and the weather has been fab lately, but for some reason i always find i'm more depressed this time of year. perhaps it is due to the fact that my hubs big fat pay check will take a huge decrease any week now (seasonal worker), or the fact that ahem Christmas (shudders) is looming in the distance. ugh.

on a positive note though, my sissy is coming home next weekend for thanksgiving (yipee!!) haven't seen her since may, can't wait to spend time with her/see her

you know, i think i'm slowly loosing my mind. i have voices that talk to each other and well they sort of argue. like for example:

voice 1 "you know you should just hang in their with this job it's not that bad and the pay is good you get good bonus, and a chance to move up"...

voice 2 "yes, but wouldn't you rather be doing this"...or i dunno this isn't coming out how i planned...but they totally bicker back and forth and sometimes i can't go to sleep at night cuz they just won't shut the f@#*! up you know...

ok, forget what i just said

i totally jigged work yesterday

you know why? cuz i had no sleep the nite before cuz of the voices in my head! that and my damn dog would NOT stop farting all night long and as if farting wasn't bad enough. these things smelled so freakin bad like rotten nasty ass chili that has sat out for days bad. like eww. i so wanted to vomit ever time he did it. like what the hell did he eat?? seriously??

lordy, lordy

so lot's of new shows starting & the oldies are back (grey's!!!), haven't really gotten back into the full grove of t.v yet but i am liking a new show called Gossip Girl, very trendy & quite good (so far), other than that i haven't really took in any other new shows. oh, sure i've tried to watch the spin from grey's Private practice but that show just doesn't feel "right" or something...not liking it

you know i totally forgot to do a fashion run down from the emmy's!!

man i'm really out of it aren't i? mabye it's cuz i didn't watch?? meh

i think it's time for bed!!

peace out :P

tip of the tongue

confused
angry
bitter
resentful
tired..oh so tired
hungry (all the time)
anxious
stressed
crabby
frustrated
nervous wreck...

just to name a few, i sum it up best by referring to myself as a cracked plate/pot whatever, it can only go so long before it finally cracks and man i so feel like i'm getting near there. i was almost at this point a month ago whilst at the other job i hated, mind you i don't quite hate this one as much (yet) but i can't help thinking what the hell am i doing and this is sooo not for me. but what is exactly?

dunno

but that's what i'm itching/dying to know

i just know i want out of this job (yet again!), what's wrong with me? i just wish someone can fix things and find me the right job, which, by the way i have never found, sure i thought i was happy in a few i had but really i wasn't. so what's the answer? back to school? can't afford it, plain and simple & don't want a student loan coming out my ass forever, and ever...

guess i just have to put my big girl panties on and get over it, just don't know how

and sadly the only thing i enjoy lately is watching re-runs of the OC on much music...

~sigh~

nope, things aren't any better here

news flash

mizz flea flea's people would like to apologize for her recent absence here on her blog page.

we also wanted to inform you that she's

a)not dead
b)hasn't been institutionalized
c)been abducted by aliens

she would also like us to inform you that she's "going through some things" (whatever the hell that means were just quoting her) which may be a result of the following:

- being laid off/dismissed from yet another job (yup, that's right what a loser eh!) mind you she wants us to stress that she hated it with a passion and was truly relieved to be let go

- still dealing with repressed rage and hate for her former employer that kicked off this entire string of bad luck in the 1st place (we'd like to note that she needs to move on from this but for some reason she cannot let it go) and every time she sees their truck's/employees out and about this rage just resurfaces and makes her angry/depressed (crazy!! & she needs meds but i didn't say it...)

- having to cave and take a job that she could've took before she started the last job (which she hated, remember?) and have to work nights/weekends, and learn a whole lot of goobly gunk that hurts her poor little head

- dealing with a bad, bad little puppy that gets into everything and really tries her patience

- missing miss britney spear's horrific performance on the mva's (like hello!) this may actually have cheered her up a bit to see someone worse off than her

- being lazy and out of shape and having no mojo to do anything about it (we think she needs to stop going thru the mcdonald's drive thru....)

- and basically not knowing what she wants to do with her life in general. she wants us to stress that everything suxs ass right now and for you all to bear with her while she goes through this difficult time. hopefully she will snap out of her little pity party soon, were frankly quite tired of her negativity...but you didn't hear that from me......

sincerely,

mizz flea flea's conscience

HI!

I'm Riley, i'm only 3 months old but as you can tell i'm already quite a big dog (please don't make fun of my ears). i'm loving my new home and my new parents, they give me food and water and don't get too mad at me if i make a mess on the floor (i'm really trying not to). they have a great big yard for me to run and play in and i also now have a new best friend! she sometimes gets mad at me if i bug her too much, or if i try to eat her food, which mommy says i'm not supposed to do, but sometimes i can't help but be a little bad...

oh and did i mention they have cats? i've never seen one of them before! i love to chase them so, and they always run and hide from me and all i want to do is play. i hope they get used to me soon, all i want to do is play, i promise i won't hurt them.

all in all i think i'm going to like it here :)

gotta go chase my new friend!!

sick little flea flea

so on top of everything else, i get sick. i couldn't even enjoy the weekend as i started feeling crappy Saturday night while attending my uncles going away party (he's moving out west). it started with a scratchy throat (which i hate having a sore throat more than anything) and proceeded from there. i'm already exhausted, but with this cold i can't sleep (which i need) cuz i'm up all night either sneezing or tending to my leaky nose (so gross)

poor pitiful me

ok, enough of that

so i had my "testing" today. i think it went ok. i'm not going to jinx myself though and say i aced the test, as i'm sure i didn't but overall i have a pretty good feeling and lets keep our fingers crossed. i don't normally do well with tests but i kept a level head and just did my best and well that's all one can do really...

in other news, the pup is rapidly growing like a weed, he still chases the cats and has the odd mess or two on the floor, but he's a lot more comfortable now with us & in the home so that's good. seems like it's been more than 2 wks though since we got him but that's all it's been.

the weather has also improved, i think i might actually get back a little tan as it's "pool" weather all this week!!! can't wait to savor and enjoy it, if only this cold would let up...

anyways, i'm out! :P