back into the grove

sorry ya'll, my bad for not posting or talking about my fab trip

but ever since i've been back i've been, well in a funk

i feel like i'm in a fog, numb and to be honest sort of stupid. people ask me things here at work and i'm all "deer caught in headlights" like "huh", "what did you just say". really not good, at 1st I thought it may be due to alcohol withdrawl but that should've passed a couple weeks ago...

just plain weird

and the weather is shitty ass and cold here

yes, i'll be posting pics of the trip (someday), i'm just lazy and tired, ok

i thought i'd come back from vacay all fresh and revived, that lasted a day

sigh

same old same old in this neck of the woods

i'll get back to normal eventually.....i hope

from the desk of flea

*from mizz flea flea's exec. assistant on behalf of mizz flea flea who is "stressing out" to the max trying to pack and all that "shit" becuz she is now 7 days away from her much needed vacay. she would like to sincerely apologize for her lack of visits to your blog sites & the shortage of her posts here (note, she wasn't blogging much in the first place, duh, i'm so not paid enough..). She would like me to point out (and oh yes she's here but she is hollering from another room on what I should be saying here, I may point out that she is frantically searching for a pair of Capri pants that I sooo ruined last summer by spilling soda on them and I totally ditched them without her knowing! haha ok what was I/she saying??)

oh right

she's "stressed"

ok ok we get it already

moving on

she also doesn't want to "rub it in" that she will be in sunny paradise for a week (biatch), sipping on fruity tropcial drinks while sunning herself on the beach

so she prob. won't be around here for a couple of weeks (thank god!)

she would like me to say much love to you all & see you on the flip side!

xoxo
miz flea flea (whateverh)

snot or not

sure sometimes we can all be a little snotty, bitchy, whatever you want to call it and I hate to judge people without knowing them, but gosh why is it so darn hard?

for instance

let's say that this new guy started at your workplace, younger perhaps only a couple years older than yourself (and your not exactly a spring chicken anymore in your late gasp 20's!), so will say he is 30 - 35 and what instantly cause me to dislike him was that he walked right in the office, past me (i'm the 1st point of contact @ reception), not even acknowledging me, and yes this is one of my things that irritate me anyways, like hello that's why you have a receptionist in the 1st place is to "screen" people. geesh. anyways, off topic. so he walks by me with this sort of air of arrogance & coffee in hand (for 2) to my bosses office, instantly i'm thinking hmm...sure enough he's the new guy, already sucking up to the boss!! so that's one tick off of him instantly. then as the day goes on I happen to notice (and i don't usually notice much as i'm so not observant) his annoying laugh. like picture a bill & ted laugh. total stoner!! and after 8 hours of this honest.to.god. at 1st it was amusing and I almost broke down in hysterical snickers sitting at my desk listening to him (in my workplace you can hear EVERYTHING) but by 5 I wanted to choke him. seriously.

but why? he could be a nice guy, perhaps just nervous and who wouldn't be nervous on a 1st day meeting people. but I.don't.like.him. I can't explain it, but I don't think I will ever grow to truly like him sure i'll be friendly and what not in the office but if I were to see him outside of work I wouldn't make eye contact, and in fact would walk quickly away

but why? I think I get along with everyone and i'm friendly & outgong but there are just certain people or personalities that I don't mesh with. does that make sense?

say WHAT?!

i can't believe ya'll thought I was preggers

NOT funny
or
cool

but i'm not (thankfully, is that wrong of me to say or wish that??)

don't even get me going on the whole "baby" thing

ain't happen anytime soon

nough said

cuz

miss flea flea is a selfish biatch, and she comes 1st (for now)

anyhoo

movin on...

in other happenings

you know you are from a very small town when the most exciting news is
a)that the ice is going out and were on "flood watch"
b)everyone is talking about all the deer that are around, like everywhere
c) the weather finally, finally being nice for a change

i'm so sick of talking about the weather and if one more person says "how nice it is" I may just scream

also i've been meaning to say or mention just how much I love, like i mean love John Mayer. His song say what you mean to say, sigh, i just get so lost in that song, and he's just so adorable. i.love.him

so much to do and so little time

vacation is ever so much closer and i'm beginning to freak out as I haven't shopped for any new clothes, haven't done this or that or even started to pack!

and worst of all i'm so disappointed in myself as I had hoped to lose 10 pounds and well we all know that hasn't happened

not that I have anyone to blame but myself which somehow makes it all worse....

ah well could be worse i guess

anyways I came here with all these ideas on what to write and well they seemed to have left me, so peace out, til next time

my new best friend

this is where I have spent most of my time the last couple of days

minus the fancy dress of course

I haven't been quite this sick in well, at least 2 years

I'll spare u the details & i don't want to re-live them anyways, so disgusting and vile, nough said

aparantly this is running rampant in my area right now, but I still can't quite figure out where I caught it from as nobody I know has had it

still not 100% but sure as hell a lot better than I was at this time yesterday and thank god my new best friend is no longer needed (at the moment)

lazy ass

not sure why exactly but i am so gosh darn lazy this weekend
prob cuz i've been on the go and have a gazillion things running through my brain
so what does a flea flea do
absolutely nothin
ok i did do a little bit of laundry
but that's it
haven't exercised all weekend
i've just laid
and you know what
it feels kinda nice
the only thing that sucks
is
tomorrow is
Monday
wash*rinse*repeat
my life is the same thing week after week
sigh
6 more weeks until my vacay
and it can't come fast enough

no more Mr. Nice Guy

i'm so tired of being the nice guy and having people walk all over me and be shit on

i'm tired of not being paid enough for what I do, and for doing 4 jobs in 1

i'm tired of having people be snarky/cranky/snappy with me and making me feel "small" and stupid

i'm tired of being the admin ass of the office and having to run all over town doing "errands"

i'm
just
so
tired
of
it
all

so why can't I stand up for myself?

why can't I take charge and say hey you, I want more money or else

cuz i'm a wuss that's why

and I live in a black hole where if I said that they would say hit the road jack, we can find someone who would be more than happy with what we pay you

jobs are few and far between and i have no choice but to sit and take the shit and enjoy the ride

oh
what
fun

DAYUM!

the boys are all grown up!

now i'm even that more excited for tomorrow's appearance on the today show

p.s. is Danny kinda hot now?? weird

it IS TRUE!!

omg

omg

omg

OMG!!!!!

I just did the running man cuz i'm soooo freakin excited for this!!

I know nobody else prob cares, like I care but it's official, New Kids are somewhat back, at least performing on the Today show (according to the Queen Perez Hilton @ perezhilton.com), and what's even crazier is that it's the 20th anniversary since Hanging Tough came out.

now that just makes me feel old

and it is possible that maybe a reunion tour is in the works

come to Canada please!! cuz i'm so there

i should be ashamed

but i'm not

razzle dazzled frazzled!

so much to do and so little time...

time is flying lately, i only have 6 weeks before we go away and i have not lost a single pound. have i been trying very hard, not really, but i have been doing my tae bo at least 3 times a week & snowshoeing on the weekends. i know i am in better shape as i don't get quite so winded/short of breath, but my outer appearance has not changed a bit.

i need to kick it in full diet mode

my 1st accomplishment this week (a round of applause please) was, no McDonald's this week, none, zilch, zero, i'm so proud of myself!!! i typical at least have this once a week (on some occasions twice..) so this is HUGE. if i can cut this out, and not eat after 7 plus continue working out heavily, surely to god some weight will come off...!!??

oh

and I got the DRESS!!!

the winner was option #3 (see post below, i'm not technically inclined to do a link to it), in the fab color purple aka "grape" which is the official color name. it's quite fab i must say and just what I was looking for, flowy but not too flowy and purple is my fav color

gram has moved and has improved a lot the last couple of weeks, she's doing so much better and i'm surprized at how well she is taking everything in stride. jilly and i met her for lunch the other day and witnessed her making a new friend!! she's never really been a social butterfly but i think that is what she has been missing/lacking and hopefully this will be a really good thing for her and the new digs she is in has me jealous, everything is brand sparking new and top of the line, this place is absolutely gorgeous!!


my poor ole car has finally caved, had the biscuit, going to the junk yard. i shouldn't have been surprized i knew it would happen eventually, but i was so not expecting it. in fact i just registered the GD thing again for another year (ahem $90) 2 days before the piece of shit broke down on me. we called several junk yards to see if we could get the part that is needed and they all told us "good luck", said its very hard to find and i'm not paying $500+ just for a new part to put on a car that is on its last leg, so now i'm car less and missing it like crazy. its weird how attached i was, i mean it was my 1st car and all and frankly the last few years i was hating it a little but i still loved it in a way. so not i'm driving the hubs half ton, which feels like i'm driving a tank compared to my small little car and costs a bloody fortune to run.

sigh

rants are so much fun!!

my sissy is coming!!

my fabulous sissy is flying in tonight and my dad and I are on our way to the airport later this evening to pick her up!!!

*update, her flight was cancelled and she's now coming in at a later time (boo)

i haven't seen her since October, so i'm really stoked for her visit and thankfully she is here for a longer period this time around.


oh and i forgot to mention


were planning on getting majorly shit faced to celebrate miss jilly's up-coming wedding, a sort of stagette if you will


this is much needed


so needless to say it should be a sweet visit

oh

and happy Easter everyone

light at the end of the tunnel

there is a god and he is GOOD!

finally some good, no, GREAT, no, what's better than great...?

FANTASTIC

news

we just did our tax returns and we are getting some $$$$

superfantastic

now we can pay off our credit cards and breathe a somewhat sigh of relief

a short lived relief but a relief

it's been a long, long winter and it's been rough

the weather has sucked

we've struggled financially

and i can't wait to get those cheques in the mail

speaking of the weather we have another 2 storms coming at us, one Saturday and another BIG assfucker on Monday.

sigh will it ever end

i just hope we can still go to shopping so i can get my dress already! thanks to everyone for the feedback, it was very helpful, i hope they have dress #3 in colors that I like as it's the one i'm leaning more towards

and another thing, not sure if it's becuase everyone is staying in this winter but man there are a lot of freaking pps i know that are preggers. i'm scared to drink the water!

anyways, that's the latest and greatest in my world

peace out :P

ennie, meanie, mineie, moe

so we all know (or you may not) that I am Maid of Honor for my fabulous cousin miss jilly's wedding in May, in Punta Cana. I've tried well, several dresses that just aren't what i'm looking for, and alas most don't fit or flatter my "hour glass" figure.

so miss jilly and I have been scouring the Internet, Macy's, Sears, David's Bridal and Alfred Angelo, miss jilly has contacted a local Bridal shop that is closing and has Alfred Angelo's dresses at 50%, these are a few that she has in stock, in my size (and no i am not telling what size that is :P )

Dress #1, I have no idea if they have it in this color, but it's the color that I like most for a tropical wedding..
Dress #2, again not sure what color they have or even if this burnt orange would look good on me (i tend to be kinda pasty white), but I really luv this color for some reason....

Dress #3, again no clue what colors they have but this is more what I want or am looking for it's flowing, lose, and simple..

Dress #4 isn't really an option as the store doesn't have it in stock, but I just had to put it here because if i wasn't such a procrastinator this would be the dress. i absolutely love this dress, but sadly not an option, so instead I can look at it and wonder... and dream

so i need help, which one do you like most??

i won't know until next weekend as we aren't going to the shop until Saturday but any help or suggestions would be appreciated as i'm totally lost on this one

wind me up

ugh, the last few days have just been crazy

and i'm so glad it is the weekend

i'm even happier that i only have 20 minutes left to burn here at the office, this has to be the longest day ever! EVER!

Gram's out of the hospital, currently at home with care but she will be moving into a residential seniors complex that offers full-time care, provides meals, cleaning services and all that jazz. I just hope that this works, something tells me that it won't but that's putting the cart before the horse...so she's moving next weekend, which makes me really sad as i'm sure that the family will probably sell the house which is hard as I have so many fond memories of that house and it also means that I will have to deal with a new neighbor as we live right next door.

a lot to deal with and process

and i hate change

oh, and i'm freaking out about finding a "brides maid" dress for miss jilly's wedding in May. I have a certain image & color in my head and I cannot find a dress that I like at all, and i've tried several on. i'm getting very frustrated as nothing seems to flatter me or i can't find anything that fits. i need to do some type of cleansing diet where I can lose like 10 pounds in a week, or maybe i just shouldn't eat a la Nicole Ritchie....

nah

i like to eat too much!

i've also still been exercising 5 days a week and I feel better and maybe a little toner, but other than that nada.

and is anyone else really sad about Patrick Swazye? man i had a huge crush on him from Dirty Dancing and to here that he's dying. sad, sad sad

other than that i got nothing

happy friday

look out, cuz here it comes..

major bitch rant ahead

you know what i really hate, is when people don't clean there cars off properly after a snow storm. like how freaking lazy do you have to be. i mean i'm lazy, but i clean my damn car off cuz i know that at some point there will be people behind me, suffering from my laziness

assfuckers

i also hate, pot holes, and every 5 feet i'm hitting one (or two), and my old beat up car can't take much more, it's bad enough that I have no shocks in my car (i'm to broke/cheap to fix them) but not i think i have whiplash from hitting all of these "holes", and some of them are bottom less pits, fer real.

stupidGDassfuckers

oh, and that's another thing, I have been swearing like a mofo lately

like what the hell? normally i only swear a little but lately it's even coming to a front at work, which hardly every happens. i try my best to maintain the general 1st impression that people have of me, which is that i'm quiet, sweet, friendly, innocent. haha man if they only knew and today, well some of them saw/caught glimpse of the "dark" side. like for instance today i'm insanely busy, running around like the gopher that I am (and that's so what admin staff are, and i hate, hate it, sigh) and i'm re-loading our damn printer yet again (that's another thing, can nobody else open the tray and put in paper? geesh), and somehow i ram my thumb down in on something sharp driving it up under my nail. hurt like a sonofabitch. so i said the f-word. oh fuck it i said fuck. there. much better. and fellow co-worker was like dude, did you just say what i think you said. umm yeah buddy i did. he must've known from my look to not say another word as i was literally shooting him daggers. my poor thumb still hurts too.

and sadly this is the tip of the ice burg

i have way to much on my mind lately

money woes
un-satisified at work (ok, not all the time, but generally speaking most days not happy)

and the absolute worst is my ailing grandmother. i can't even put into words what kind of stress this has put us all in (esp. my mom and aunt, who are both nurses and there sibilings seem to place everything on them). we've known for awhile that we've needed to do something (i.e. nursing home) but nobody wants to face or deal with this and sadly i think we are the point of no turning back. the last week she's had constant care/supervision as she's so unstable/weak, she's fallen a couple of times and at one point wasn't making coherant sentances. docs say that she think she may have suffered a stroke, or be in the early stages of alzheimer's. as of right now she has been admitted to the hopsital in hopes that she can gain some strength back.

i'm finding it very difficult to be positive on this. while i remain hopeful that she will come out of this, i can't help but have this dark cloud of doubt or gut feeling that something (i.e. death) is around the corner. perhaps i'm being dramatic, or mabye even trying to somewhat prepare myself should something happen, i dunno, i just can't shake this queezy feeling though.

oh, and i'm lacking in the sleep department, yet again

for example last weekend all i wanted more than anything was to sleep and sleep and sleep some more. woke up in the a.m. could not go back to sleep for the life of me. and i'm so tired

oh, and we have yet another, freakin A1 of a snowstorm coming tomorrow afternoon. i need to take some pics of our yard (i.e. snowbanks) so ya'll can see how much freakin snow we have. its just plain sickening.

bloody GD snow, how i loathe thee

sigh

i'm going to bed and pulling up the covers and not coming out

burnt toast

i'm burnt out
fried
tired
dun in
can't do no more and trying to kill 20 minutes is torture
TORTURE!
just wanna go home, curl up and
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
TGIF

and for some v. odd reason I keep smelling bleach/chlorine???
wtf??

on another note
a more positive note
it's now 2 1/2 months until my trip away!!! yippee
sunshine, beaches, waves, fruity rum punch drinks...
ahhh
happiness
and the only GD thing i have to look forward too

happy Friday
check ya later :P

hold up..wait a minute..

let me put your back up in it...

*shake that ass*

sorry, got caught up in the moment

random tid bits floating thru ma brain...

so i had a fab weekend away with "the girls" aka mommy, auntie sharol and miss jilly. went to Halifax specially to see the musical Cats which was delightful. We were very close to the stage (9 rows back) and I was privy enough to have the isle seat, thanks to auntie sharol (who i think later regreted that..), so i could see very well, the other's not so much. i went into this not knowing a whole lot about the play and i was surprized as to how much dancing their was. was truly a memorable evening and sadly the rest of us could not get the song "Mr. Mistoffelees" out of our heads. ah good times.

so i'm exhausted, didn't get much sleep over the weekend as Halifax is 5 hours away, and we left Friday on shitty roads and arrived v. late & arrived back late from the play.

so i'm bug eyed
and having my lovely monthly flow
which leaves me bloated, headachy and even more tired if that's possible
but on the positive side
the exercise helps
who would've though that I of all people would ever say that?
weird
and i'm like the laziest person i know
and i'm so addicted to working out
my latest work out tape is...
god i hate to admit it

Tae Bo Amped

I bought the set at Cosco on Sunday and just did tape 2 of 5
that shit is HARD
and fierce
and i totally can't stand Billy Blanks or his daughter
but
damn if i come out of this looking like anyone of the girls in the video i'm freaking happy
and
i probably won't be able to walk tomorrow

how is it possible to be so tired yet so awake?

work is frustrating
i can't even put into words why and i can't say that i want to explain it
i'm overworked and severely underpaid
and sick as hell of doing what i do
wish i had the $$ to go back to school and take something so i can make more $$ than i am now
make sense
prob not

just a glimpse of what runs thru my brain

anyways, peace out gotta go watch Idol (or at least try)

catch ya later

quickie

i'm at work, and i know i shouldn't be on here...but

it's friday and i'm going away for the weekend and i totally DO NOT have anything to muster for work today. oh and it's snowing AGAIN! this is like the 3rd snow this week.

and i'm leaving work early today!!! HEE!!!

i feel like i haven't been here in forever...need to catch up

work is going....
exercise is still going (somewhat)
diet isn't really going to well....
and that's about it

peace out, i'll fill you in on my weekend on monday (hopefully)

happy friday

you know it's going to be a BAD day when...

a) you walk into your office 1st thing in the morning and 2 of your fellow co-workers are full on battling it out, like yelling, screaming, red faces and man the tension in the air was FIERCE. i wanted to walk right back out. sadly, i think one of them quit....and i liked him

b) yet another co-worker snaps at you over your lunch hour "time" (i.e. when I go and get back)like wtf? back the eff off, sadly i didn't say this back to her but it really put me in a pissy mood

and lastly the realy dousy

c) i finally leave the office hoping for nothing more than some peace, quiet and mabye a stiff drink of some sort and i notice that a van is blocking me in. no prob i think i can back up and get out that way. whatev. then i notice a man sitting in said van, running. now i'm slightly annoyed by this but continue on my marry way (thinking of that said drink), get in my car, start her up trying not to make eye contact with said creepy guy in van (why are van's so creepy?) and proceed to back up, when i glimpse out of the corner of my eye "said" creepy man gets out of his van and is flagging me down.

1st thought is to continue driving, like hello stalker, 2nd thought is perhaps he was trying to tell me he could move his van...so like the idiot that i am i stop and roll down my window smiling oh so sweetly, thinking to myself keep it short & sweet buddy....and he's like ummm your back tire is almost flat. and sadly i look back and you guessed it it's going flat. sonofabitch. i smile oh so sweetly again (more painful this time, honestly) and back away. getting as far away from creepy guy as possible (yes, he was nice but still creepy) i frantically call the hubs and ask what to do, cuz hello, i have no clue, i would just drive one it but some part of me knows that is BAD. so i pull over, call the hubs who doesn't really give me much instruction. "umm you just go to a gas station and put air in the tire".

well duh. HELLO never done this before. so i go to gas station #1 which thankfully is right beside my work. pull up by the air thingy, look at it and think yeah that's not happening and try to find a man. god, i hate that and hate admiting that but there it was and yes i said it. i go into the gas station where there's a "boy" no more than 16 to ask for assistance and he looks at me like "cha, not happening" (lasy ass fucker, fleetingly passes through my mind) apparantly their air machine is broke.

ok, great. moving on to gas station #2 which is another few feet from my work (i'm now really ticked off) arrive at gas station #2 again have no clue how to run the damn machine or how to insert air into my tire, than a miracle, i see someone i know. ok, i haven't seen him since our graduation (aham almost 10 years ago, but he's on my facebook and it's someone i KNOW!), admist my panic induced state i plead him for help. he kindly abligizes, i'm SAVED. then he says "uh oh" what? huh? the machine is broke he says. ARE U KIDDING ME! i want to scream or cry at this point and this so called friend from way back when just looks at me and says you'll have to go back to the store (that i've already been too!) HA! guess what it's broken too i say. "that's so weird" he says, you'll have to try either this place or that place (which is across town). so i proceed to drive all that way across town to yet store #3 on my flat tire solo. friend did volenteer to follow me but i stated i was fine (i was far from fine but whatev).

i arrive at store #3, insert my $0.50 that i had to scrounge to find into the stupid air macine that i'm really hating right now....and nadda. no sound, no air coming out, nadda. god truly hates me. i walk into the store, wait patiently in line and ask the clerk (again 16, where are the adults?) if the machine is broken. she looks at me like i'm an idiot and is like "well i'll turn it on in here if it works it works, if it doesn't than it's broken", umm ya think? i feel like screaming. so i then asked for change so i could put in the $0.50 and she's like "oh, you don't need that" like it is the most obivious thing in the world. hello the freaking machine has a coin slot and $0.50 beside it....sigh. can i go home now? i trudge back out to the car, turn on the machine and alas it works!! god doesn't hate me! now to get the air in my tire....ok it took me a little bit and i didn't really think it was working but the air went in!! the tire was no longer flat. i DID it on my own. afer all that freakin running around i did it on my own. so now i know how to put air in a tire. who knew that when i woke up this morning, that would be the 1 thing that i learned new today...i sure as hell didn't

jeebus what a day

all by myself

the hubs is out, leaving me home alone and quite desolte & lonely and not really sure why. typically when he goes out i enjoy the break god knows we each need our own time. but for some reason i'm lonely and somewhat scared.

yes, it's dark (which i don't like) and it's v. creepy home alone & the dogs keep jumping at every freaking sound, thus putting me more at edge.

course it didn't help that i just finished watching Poltergist

and we had a super bad storm last night/this morning making me feel somewhat stranded even though i kow i'm not. weird. i can't explain it.

think it was the movie though

even though i've watched it before i'm creeped out now

that and there isn't a damn thing on tv

and of course i want to eat

what to do, what to do....