quickie

well i'm at work on a 3 day stretch (stuck on day 2) and had a moment to think well I should blog about that and so here I am

i'm finding working more difficult of course it doesn't help when my job is mostly physical and extremely tiring and just plain hard work. I can't go and go like I used to, i'm noticing the 1st thing to go is my back, then my feet and then i'm just plain tired and that's only usually 3-4 hrs into my shift. i'm going to cut back though as I have been lifting on heavy stuff that I prob shouldn't be and frankly the way I felt when I left here last night I could have cried (then I laid awake all night with aches and pains) so i'm not doing it anymore it's so not worth it

i also noticed yesterday that I now waddle

I always thought to myself well I will never walk like that when i'm pregnant, well guess what you have no say what-so-ever in that matter, it's like your body has a mind of it's own

i've also lost my belly button, i don't know how that's even possible but it's happened. it's just gotten flatter and flatter and what do you know GONE, well not entirely and god I hope I don't get one of those protruding belly buttons but i'm sure that is BOUND to happen too.....

and the peeing

ugh

you think you have to go sooooo bad and then when you take all the effort to haul your gigantic ass out of bed (doesn't help when your back is screaming at you) there's only a tiny dribble. i think I may take up permanent residence on the toilet, i mean you can sleep there can't you??

I had my ultra sound last week, thankfully i'm not carrying twins, despite the fact that every person I run into seems to think so...

or that my dates are totally wrong, surely i'm further along than what I am cuz i'm so huge

well guess what i'm not ppl she's just measuring long, cuz she's tall like her daddy. so back off. mmm kay

also survived and passed my sugar testing which I was DREADING and actually it was so not bad at all, I had heard horror stories about how awful the drink was and frankly I didn't mind it at all and frankly I don't know why I was so stressed and worried about it but i'm glad it's over and done

and that's all I got - peace out :P

picture time!

20 wks 5 days (almost 21 wks)

i should've stayed in bed...

you know how some days you wake up and know that you should lay in bed ALL day and just chill?

our weather here in my neck of the woods has been pure shit rain for the last 3 weeks and it won't be letting up anytime soon, so this morning was just like any other morning it was raining and better yet starting to thunder quite badly in the distance and I of course am awake at 5:00 am and cannot get back to sleep (suffering from insomnia lately which is a whole other post), i'm laying there my body is aching (esp. my bum knee prob from all this GD rain) and work calls, which they never do and I think well I might as well get up and do something and better yet make some $$

worst idea of my life ever

1st of all I couldn't shower cuz it is thundering like a mofo, which isn't too bad but it would have at least woken me up, I mean sure it's been a few days but I don't smell (at least I don't think I do....) and who the hell do I have to impress anyways....?? so off I go

I drag my sorry ass ALL day long, cannot seem to shake being sleepy and tired and frankly the bags under my eyes are probably harvesting little creatures they are that deep. seriously

oh, I forgot to mention that my dog Zoey is terrified of thunder and lightning and she so did not want me to leave which I felt terribly guilty about doing and also knowing, knowing in the back of my mind that I would arrive home to a mess on the floor (aka pee or poop which I would have to clean up cuz the hubs is a wuss). so one dog was out to do his business and the other wasn't. just had to get that in here...

ok 2nd mistake was eating 2, yes 2 (I was hungry) hot dogs from the evil cafeteria @ the hospital. at the time they were so good, and yummy. not so much later

so I finally finish work, exhausted beyond words I was supposed to get groceries after work but the thought of doing that made me want to weep, so I scratched that off my to do list and proceeded right to going and eating greasy french fries & deep fried chicken (mistake #3), while eating my supper/lunch I encounter the first bowel spasm. not good. not sure if I haven't talked about it before but I hate to go to public washrooms unless I really, really have to, especially if it's #2 so I brush it off knowing i'm heading straight home and finish my meal as quickly as possible. I should note that I live about 25 min away. this was the most excruciating drive of my life ever. I don't know how I didn't shit myself, i don't know how I managed to drive with severe bowel spasms rocking my body every 5 minutes. at one point I was almost ready to pull over and just go on the side of the road. the whole time i'm thinking just pull over and go but I just can't. I finally make it home run inside literally doubled over and just make it to the bathroom noting on my way inside that yes the dog did indeed piss on the floor in fact I have the river Nile in my hallway but I DON'T CARE

i'll spare the details but will use this one word EXPLOSIVE

that's all you need to know

well that and I managed to plug the toilet

I let the dogs outside (finally) poor things i'm such a terrible bad mother (this kid really doesn't have a hope in hell), go to the 2nd bathroom (avoiding the pee which is everywhere) and go to the bathroom AGAIN. change out of work clothes and proceed to bathroom #1 with the plugged toilet to un-plug it, which frankly I have no clue how to do "properly" and thus ended up splashing my own poo poo onto myself.

argh

finish unplugging the toilet and change into yet another pair of pants avoiding the pee yet again

as I was leaving my room for oh now the 3rd time I thought I had avoided the pee but I guess I didn't cuz the next thing I know I am on the floor right dab in the middle of the freakin puddle on my ass

told ya I should've stayed in bed didn't I

I changed yet again and somehow managed to clean up the remainder of the pee that I didn't land in without throwing up (it was close, holy hell it stank) I think the only reason I didn't puke was that would be yet another mess to clean and I was having no more of that....

honestly, I think I was more traumatized from slipping and falling in the pee more than anything but as the cramps continued on and on and on I than began to worry about my little flea inside of me. thankfully i'm fine today (now a day later), baby is fine but the next time I have the feeling to stay in bed all day I think that's exactly what I'll do

Introducing....

Alexander Mark

born June 27, 2009

10.07 lbs

He's HERE!!!!!

isn't he just the cutest thing!! of course i'm a dumb ass and forgot my own camera so this is one I took from a friend and I just thought it was soooo sweet. I love everything about him, of course he is a chubby monkey (which is nice as i'm not so scared to hold him, which is weird...normally i'm terrified to hold a baby) weighing in at 10 pounds and miss jilly is a super star or super woman cuz she delivered him vaginally! imagine! actually, no I don't want to......and he has red/blond hair (which you can't see cuz of the hat, hope to get one soon to show you)

sigh this just makes me soooo happy and I could look at him all day

welcome to the world Alexander and I can't wait to watch you grow, and grow

sweat and stretch marks

i have never in my life, EVER minded the summer heat and humidity, well I do now. holy hell i'm hot and clammy and sticky and sweating like a mofo, there is literally a river running through my now plumper fuller breasts (which sag and lie on my upper most fat roll which also sweats), I should probably wear a bra all the time now but I hate to when I'm just home lounging and did I mention that I'm hot and any extra clothing would just make me hotter. I think I may consider becoming a nudist, although i'm sure it wouldn't be a pretty sight....

I also discovered my first stretch marks on my above mentioned breasts at first I thought it was just creases from my shirt (I just woke up) but sadly no, they didn't fade away, still there. I think I cried a little and i'm sure they are only the beginning even though I religiously lather myself in lotion that is supposed to enhance my skin's elasticity. well at least I smell nice

in other news, miss jilly has yet to have her baby and will be induced tomorrow so let's all keep her in our thoughts and prayers and hope for a good delivery and healthy, happy baby. I can't wait to meet him!!

giggle fits

oh boy, i have had a few giggle fits in my day but lately due to all the hormones raging through my body I have been averaging at least once a week if not more and some of them like the other night occur at the oddest times

and I mean these are full on, hardcore fits, like laugh until your sides hurt, tears (literally gushes of water) streaming from my eyes and i'm left gasping for air, i'm sure I look like either

a) someone having a epileptic fit (i mean no offense to anyone who has seizures..)
b) some crazy wacked out lady whose high on acid or whatever drug and will soon have the munchies..
c) someone having an allergic reaction (my face gets beat red)
d) all of the above

n'ways

the 1st time this happened I was shopping in Sears with my mom and Jilly who can literally pop her baby boy out any day (this was a few weeks ago), now I dunno what it is about Sears but I hate this store in fact we all hate it, but every time we shop we end up in there like a bad dream. perhaps it is the dreary gloomy dank lighting or the lazy clerks who never want to help you and so painfully ring you in ever so slowly or it may be all the 100's of different perfumes they have on hand, i just cannot stand this store.

so here we are in the ladies section (again) as jilly needs to get a nursing bra and my mom (who is on the shorter side) somehow manages to back into a clothing rack driving the rack into her back. not really funny right, in fact I should have been concerned about whether or not she was truly hurt but something about the look on her face as it happened and the way she grabbed her neck set me off

I was so gone, i burst out laughing and could not stop

time laughing 10 min at least and then I still had the giggles the entire time in the store

and then the weird case happend

I took to laughing during sex

yes, that's right you read it right. right dab in the middle of having sex I took the fits and could not stop

like what the hell

honestly

so other than having lot's of giggle fits and receiving more and more comments about my ever expanding waistline, not much else is new. I recently signed and started an on-line course which lasts for 6 wks and hopefully will snag me a much better job than what i'm currently doing, so keep your fingers crossed

other than that I got nothing! hope everyone else is doing fine

latest and greatest

no I haven't fallen off the face of the earth (again) just haven't felt much like blogging of late

still nothing really new and exciting other than I'm sporting a larger belly, which has grown drastically the last couple of weeks. (15 weeks this week!!!)

so far I have encountered the following sayings repeatably and i'm sure it is only going to get worse but every time I hear one of these I want to scream:

How are you feeling? - ok, I know you mean well but how the hell do you think i'm feeling? I feel like shit, i'm tired, i'm cranky and oh yeah i've gained 5+ pounds nothing fits anymore and I want to CRY ALL THE TIME. i say none of this though I just smile and nod

Are you excited? - no, not really because I am in DENIAL. again, smile and nod

When are you due? - November, to which they smile look at my every protruding belly and say, oh??! WTF then they usually say are you sure there is only one in there? like c'mon how freaking RUDE can a person be and as another pregnant friend has informed me this only gets WORSE, that and they resort to patting your belly. if some stranger pats my belly I will attempt to hit them or throw something at them

Do you want to know what it is? - well I sure as hell hope it's not an alien (which I think it sort of is..) and I always hesitate on this one because you either say "yes" to which you get the following response of "well I wouldn't want to know, your ruining the surprise" or if you say no you get the opposite of "well, it would make it so much easier to buy things". so I just smile and nod at this too and walk away

people probably think i'm deaf, dumb or whatever but I don't care

and I just lost my energy burst

think i'll have a nap

catch up with u all later :P

[HD] No Doubt- Hella Good (Live At Ellen Show 05/19/2009)

I LOVE me some No Doubt and I have, HAVE to see them this summer when the go on tour, regardless of the fact that I will be however many months pregnant I have to be there. I have loved this band since the beginning before they blew up and hit the roof and have not stopped since. and I have a love/hate realtionship with Gwen as I wish I could be her, she's cool, hip, stylish and the girl next door all in one (and she is married to Gavin Rossdale whom I also LOVED in the 90's)

so here's a snipet of them on Ellen the other day just to tease me and get me even more excited about the tour this summer

one no two words GRANNY PANTIES!

sigh

oh the lows one has to face while pregnant


i finally got to go shopping for some much needed new clothes (ahem maternity) this past weekend in Bangor, Maine. and let me say AMEN for maternity clothes it's so nice to have clothes fit and better yet to be comfortable.


anyways in my haste at the cash register to pay for my wonderful, comfy new clothes I happened to notice a display of panties and thought yeah i'm probably due for some of these too and i don't know if I had a blond moment or just couldn't read or perhaps I was distracted by my grumbling stomach (which is ALWAYS hungry) which knew it was going to have a feast at Olive Garden shortly hereafter, either way I thought I grabbed the "lowrise boy short" kind and continued on my merry way.


well when I got home I soon discovered that I had purchased the wrong frigging kind, like way wrong. these things are so hideous and repulsive and BIG. sure when i'm 8-9 months pregnant they probably won't be but for right now the can stay hidden in the bottom of my pantie drawer. this really depresses me for some reason like farewell thongs hello granny panties!

UGH!

i'm on the cusp of a whole new world and it is TERRIFYING

and since i'm a lazy ass and haven't started a journal and may never get around to it thought i would track or write some of the things i've been craving, feeling, etc

freezes - omg i cannot get enough of these and i'm sure they are so bad for me (umm can you say sugar) but one word yummy!

i've been super nauseous and sicky poo the last few weeks, hoping now that i'm at 12 weeks to be on the other side of this....

i'm 12 weeks pregnant!

that is sooooo wrong and weird and exciting all in one

sometimes i don't feel or think i'm pregnant

then i see the already growing bump and it goes away

i can and could sleep ALL day

not sure if this is part of pregnancy but i'm blaming it on it anyways, but my memory is like, non existant at this point. for example I had to work the weekend, didn't have anything to eat for supper so I stopped at Subway and being the good girl that I am I picked up a chocolate milk instead of a Diet Coke drove not even 5 min down the road, get out of car to go to work, then proceed to work for 30+ min before I realized that I left the stupid choc milk in the car

I would do or give anything to have clear skin again, thankfully it hasn't spread to my face but everywhere else, mainly my poor back is peppered in zits. ewwww

I'm freaking out thinking that my baby will be handicapped in some way is that normal? or that he/she will be ugly and I know that comes across as being very vain but what if I have the kid with the big ears or nose?

i think i bit off more than I could chew...

say what

what the hell was the U.S gov't thinking when the decided that creating a "photo op" of a plane near the statue of liberty??? like really was this such a great idea. do they not realize that seeing a plane that low and near buildings and landmarks that people would freak out (reasonably so). TOTALLY STUPID people, like beyond DUH

the swine flu - i'm terrified and think the end of the world is coming. seriously

the weather in my neck of the woods has been so beautiful and warm the last few days. spring is finally, FINALLY here, in fact it is almost humid/muggy here today. LOVE IT

had the privilege of watching the "birthing video" last night in prenatal class and really it's you know shocking but what got me the most was the ladies vajayjay hair. OMG it was so long and bushy you could braid it. so gross. and how embarrassing. i will NOT let it get that bad in fact I informed my husband that once i'm to the point that I cannot see it anymore he will have to trim it for me. sure I get the fact that when i'm that far gone in labour i probably won't give a damn but ewwww I don't want long bushy hair down there EVER. i just vomited in my mouth thinking about it, can you imagine how it would smell (shudders)

moving on

I also finally got my shrieky eyebrows waxed the other day and they look so much better, also got my hair did and while it is a little on the short side i'm sure it will grow in like a day. i may or may not take a pic and post it here

Idol is on tonite!!

Lost 100th episode is tomorrow night can't wait to see what happens

yes my life revovles around t.v

sad isn't it

ho hum

I've been sort of "blue" or "down in the dumps" as they say, not exactly sure why just feel shitty. sure it's probably hormones or some other pregnancy related thing but why can't it just go away. aren't pregnant woman supposed to be happy and glowey?

n'ways

I'm sick of working, more precisely i'm sick of working like every freakin weekend. not that I even do anything on weekends anymore, but still nothing irks me more than seeing someone write on crackbook "TGIF" well it isn't for me you f*@%!

I'm also sick of being bloated, like wtf? and on a sadder note I can no longer button my one and only pair of jeans and have thus resorted to wearing jogging pants 24/7. the only plus to this is that I never leave me house so thank god nobody sees me

I thought April is supposed to be warm and springy. well it isn't. i'm frickin freezing ALL the time, and on Easter it snowed here

I miss my sissy

how awsome is the show Fringe? and better yet, how freakin HOT is Joshua Jackson??? you must watch this show if you haven't and if you are into a show half Grey's/CSI cuz it's a combination of something like that but with a kick of the X-files too. so good

i need a hobby - anyone got anything that I could take up?

and that's about it, or at least all I got for now

peace out :P

i'm noticing

an increase in my breast size. like holy TITTIES. I've never had much in the boob department and to finally, FINALLY have cleavage after all these years to say it is impressive is an understatement. it almost brings me to tears. mind u i could do without the tenderness and sometimes sore nipples but it's soooo worth it (at least right now)

my waist has thickened some already and I'm already having to unbutton my one pair of jeans when I sit down (this is not so cool)

nausea - check

thank god no vomiting (yet)

and lastly, this may be gross to some people but I smell different you know down "there" and yes there is even stuff coming out. i could do without this too

enough on that subject

moving on

I totally need a new do and I am counting down the days until I have an appt with my hairdresser but everyone keeps saying pregnant women SHOULD NOT CUT THERE HAIR well at least not a short drastic cut but I need to do something, I mean I am hating my hair, it just feels nasty. It's dried out (i've deep conditioned it so many times I've lost count) and just feels so gross and nasty. part of me wants a cute chin length bob and the other part knows I should/need layers and keep my current length. I wish I could go tomorrow and have it done. guess i'll just have to suffer for another 2 weeks

and lastly I just have to bring up American Idol for a moment

I like Adam quite a bit, but really why all the hype about him? He's not that good/great and frankly I much prefer Allison over him. i. don't. get. it.

and I know it is really mean to make fun of handicapped people but I can't help but laugh a little while watching ________ (i so just forgot his name) umm the blind guy. last night was so akward and bad, i really think it's his night to go home

and that's all she wrote for another day

peace out

early stages yet

I'm only 6 wks along and already feel like it has been forever!

this has kicked my anxiety up another 5 levels and my mind will just not stop racing

1st there was the possibility that I may have a tubal pregnancy, which thankfully they don't think I have as the pregnancy hormone has increased a lot (all I can say is thank god I don't mind having blood work done), but I was having a lot of pain in my lower right side the week previous to when I found "out" and i'm grateful to have this behind me but still it was an extra stress and worry for me

2nd I have experienced spotting, not a lot but it scared me and I can't help but feel that this just isn't meant to be and that i am going to lose the baby. is that weird? I mean me as a mom, ohmygod!

and lastly I tripped and fell at work last week and it was weird, like for the first time it's not just about me anymore

this is a lot to take in and deal with

the books
the online websites
the terrifying fear of *gasp* labour
the changes in my body (already)

and it goes on and on

and on top of all that the neighbors from hell are moving out (long story short, they were renting to own or 2nd house, but have decided to back out and buy a different house), which i'm glad for it's been nothing but bad from the get go, but it's an extra stress that I just don't need right now.

I think i'll crawl back in bed and not come out for awhile

late breaking news

time for your 5 o'clock news update people and we miz flea flea's representatives have some sizzling new news to inform you of.

while we apologize for her recent lack of posts (again) she at least has a reasonable excuse this time (I wouldn't let her get away with it to often)

and no it doesn't have to do with Brad or Angelina or Jen and washisname myer or any celeb at all but it is life altering for her, in fact it is so huge she still hasn't come to terms with it all and thus left it to us to tell you.....




she's




PREGNANT!!


which explains A LOT

no wonder she's been so moody and grouchy and eating us out of house and home (HAHA)

poor flea flea doesn't know to be excited or if she wants to cry (in fact I think I hear her crying in the other room must be an "emotional" day). and honestly we only told a few people and already the whole county knows so we thought, well why not share it with our few blogger friends that we have left. Now don't go be telling her either that we told you, she's afraid that by everyone knowing that she will somehow magically lose the baby as soon as everyone knows (which would be awful) but whatev. what will be will be

so get prepared ya'll cuz i'm sure the next oh 9 months are going to be very interesting on here

peace out

miz flea flea's pps

another chapter closes..

yet another chapter of my life has closed

as (gasp) 30 approaches I cannot deny the fact that I'm getting older (even though I don't feel or act it at times). so today I decided to finally remove my belly button ring that I have had for over 10 years because really who am I kidding? i sure as heck am not 20 nor do I have the appropriate figure to display it to the world (it has been hidden for the last oh 5+ years)

you may ask why the hell I didn't take it out long ago and the reason is this, I was terrified and scared like a baby. frankly it hurt like a mofo and then on top of that it was infected for weeks which hurt even more if that is possible. so I left that baby in there and it wasn't coming out. until today

and truly it wasn't that bad coming out

OK, perhaps it was

it took me at least 10 minutes to gather the courage in the 1st place, another 5 to let the hubs actually "touch" it, there may have been some squealing involved and maybe a little whimpering and whining but it came out

I'm a little sad about this really

this symbolised my teenage hood, my rebellious wild side and all I have now is increasing fat rolls and sagging breasts

life is so cruel

crabby pants

so i don't know what my problem is lately but i've been somewhat of a crabby pants lately...

remember Shrieky from the Care Bears (at least I think that's what she's from..)

this has been me lately (sadly I think my eyebrows are the same as hers right now too, as i've neglected them, amongst other things)

just the littlest things set me off

the dogs - annoy me they bark, they track in the mud from my mud pit of a yard (i'll have to take pics so u see what I mean...), they just plain annoy the hell out of me

the cat - Charlie particularly, he is an "outdoor" cat most of the time but lately he just won't go out, so he goes around meowing and just plain annoying the hell out of me and i think he totally is doing it on purpose

dishes, laundry, toilets, i dispise them all

what up with that

is it PMS? is i just being tired?

or it could be the fact that I finally weighed myself the other day and well i'm now offically the heaviest i've ever been in my life. can you say depressing! frig that really didn't help matters

so i think i'll take shrieky and just go back to my cave and not come out for awhile

mumblings

latest happenings...

not a whole lot really, I'm just coming off working the last 4 days and I am EXHAUSTED! I don't know how these people can do 7 yes SEVEN day stretches of these! omg after shift 3 I was done in then I got a call yesterday and just couldn't say no, so I worked another 3-11

one word

brutal

i was almost crying at the end of the shift, never been so physically tired

thankfully it's over and i'm feeling it today, still extremely beat and it's now almost 4 in the afternoon and i'm still in my pj's and have not brushed my hair or even looked in a mirror (don't think I want to it may scare me)

so on war and upwards as they say

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

my fav auntie Sharol (aka 2nd mommy) is coming home for 2 weeks and is arriving home tomorrow nite!! YAY! cannot wait to see her as it's been 2 1/2 months since she was last home. and oh how I miss her!!

is anyone else sick of hearing about RiRi and Chris Brown? so tired of hearing this, and even more sickening is the fact that she went back and that he will probably get out of this without losing anything. either way i'm so tired of hearing about it all

also sick of Octo mom, surely she has had her 15 minute already....although the Jimmy Kimmel joke that other night was freaking hilarious

does anyone still watch Desperate Housewives?? I came across it the other night at work and I was like "this is still on??" haven't watched it since season 2...

daylight savings time can kiss my ass

although I do enjoy the extra hour of light at the end of the day...

why am I always hungry?

think I'll watch me some YouTube..

peace out :)

Winter Wonderland

We had a major snowstorm on Feb 23rd, where we were hit with a foot and a half of snow, this was the hubs and I (and the dogs of course) 1st snowshoe adventure out, after the storm on the 25th. I wanted to get a few pics of the snowbanks and of the dogs. The one above is the hubs getting his gear on and the dogs playing and tearing around the yard. This is the backside of our house and as you can see the snow is piled pretty high

Zoey girl waiting patiently for us to get going

Snow banks and trees looking very pretty covered in snow in our back yard

The one and only pic of Riley, he never sits still this one, always on the go, unfortunately it didn't come out too well....

Zoey taking a break and rollin in the snow to get cooled off

The unbroken trail before us. This was really tough going and we had to stop every 10 minutes or so to take a break, really, really hard on the legs

The trail that we left behind us...

another pic of the trail ahead (un-broken)

the hubs and I (i'm on the left)

Zoey again, pretty tired out at this point (I was too)

and lastly the stretch right before our house, I call this the "magical forest", so pretty and peaceful

another door closes...hopefully another will open

sigh

you know how when you find a perfect job, you apply and you have high hopes that you will get this said job, but you try not to get too excited or worked up about it, brushing it all off as "if it's meant to be" and all that jazz but yet deep down knowing that you will get this job. it's perfect for you. You even have a family friend on the inside that has agreed to "put in a good word" for you.

well today, I received a letter stating that I was not qualified for this said "job" and thus out of the running. case closed.

to say that this was a blow to the gut is an understatement. it's sort of put things in perspective that I have been ignoring for months, and thus sent me into a tail spin.

i'm angry, upset, disappointed in myself

I feel like a failure

and sure, it would have been nice to have a full time job again but I know deep down that I will not be happy in an admin position. sure I could do it and after six months I would just be miserable again. and this stupid job in question was only for 1 year with possibility of renewal (i've been there done that and it didn't work out), so it's probably best in the long run but still...

which leads me back to - well what do I want to do for a living?

I DON'T KNOW!

I've never known

which just makes me even more frustrated

I can't seem to muster an ounce of motivation to do anything. I'm supposed to be studying and learning medical terminology which could possibly land me a job at the hospital. But do you think I have picked the book up at all?

the answer is no, why i'm not sure, i'm just so confused, angry and bitter right now I don't seem to want to do anything and I have been this way for months. I can't seem to snap out of it.

maybe this kick to the stomach will get me going (I doubt it)

but I need to do something, I just wish I could have someone tell me what I need to do, of course that would be to easy.

and on top of all that i'm super emotional lately, I could just cry and cry and that's pretty much all i've done since I read that stupid letter this morning. which is probably my hormones, cuz yes, I finally went off the birth control pill. not that I want to get pregnant right now but I may in 4-6 months, who knows and I've been on the pill for at least 10 years and seeings how heavy my last period was it makes me wonder how natural it is for us to take that in the 1st place. On the pill I did well to bleed maybe 1 or 1 1/2 days, off the pill I went 7 and then some. I was sort of freaked out by how much I bled. So I wanted to get it out of my system, stupid probably and I may just go back on it. I don't know!

i have so many thoughts running through my head right now I can't keep it all straight

just another day in my ho hum life

81st Academy Awards - Red Carpet Rundown - "The Bad"

ok, so I'm a bit rusty and I didn't actually watch any of the awards (I have an excuse I was working) but I just can't help but go through my pics of the nights worst and best dressed. so here are a few of the bad

not sure where to begin with this...I mean I hate to diss her she's a legend and all but comon! This is so something straight from the early 80's. When I watched the video back of her presenting I thought she had on sparkly gloves but it's apparently sleeves as obviously seen here, and the puffy cloud mess at the bottom is horrendous! and the color looks like baby puke, not that I've seen much baby puke but that's what it is. awful just awful. but hell if I look as good as her at her age...gotta give her some credit

oh Amy Adams, I love red but somehow when I look at you I think of spiderman? perhaps it's the weird black webbing around your bosom? not exactly sure but that's what comes to mind. Love the necklace but again not with this dress! there is just too much going on with the webbing and the piece that is pulled up and pinned to your breasts! do you have small chest syndrome like me? I have no other reason why a designer would do this to you

this is Amanda something or other, who stared in Mama Mia! this girl is as cute as a button, but this dress makes her look like a Christmas present. not. a. good. thing. bad shoes, bad necklace and BIG bow. yuck!

I think this is Melissa George (dunno who or what she has been in), and the only reason I put this here is because I cannot stand mermaid gowns! and why do they always appear? every year like a bad habit. all tight and snug fitting up top and then a big pile of fluff at the bottom, it just doesn't look right to me

and lastly we have Justin Timberlake's GF Jessica Biel. I've filed this under the category of What the Hell! again I think the designer didn't know quite what to do with the extra bit of fabric. Should I go over the shoulder...or no why not make a big half lumpy bow and run it down the front of the dress....geesh! what a sloppy pile of goods that is. messy hair, messy dress and yes I hate her a bit for nabbing the love of my life (he just doesn't know it)


UPDATE - Honorable Mentions go to:

Miley Cyrus

Tilda Swinton

Whoppi Goldberg