a quick look back at 2009

well this is a first for me, typing a post at 4:00 am but when you are wide awake and have an urge to write, well you go with it.

while I love New Year's Eve (there is just so much anticipation/excitement in the air), I hate New Year's Resolutions. in fact i don't think i've ever made one. people never keep to them, so why bother?

however, I do enjoy reflecting and taking a look back at the year, even when frankly you don't remember much as it went by in a pregnant blur, but it's still nice to look back a few years from now and think gee how could I be so (insert whatever word fits here) dumb, naive, vague...

so 2009 for me was a good year (I guess), normally (and I know this will sound stupid) the odd year numbers are not good ones for me but again I don't know if it was because I was distracted or perhaps the jinx has been broken but all in all it's been a pretty good year.

I didn't break any bones, or get deathly sick

I didn't lose a job (at least not this year)

I didn't go bankrupt

or lose my mind

on the other hand

I did manage to pack on 50 pounds of excess fat

but I had an excuse

cuz I spent nine (ahem ten) months out of the 12 of the calendar preggers

man what a long, LONG pregnancy that was

of course finding out almost the instant of conception didn't help either (a tip to anyone else that gets pregnant - don't tell anyone when you are 3/4 weeks pregnant that you are indeed pregnant, because then everyone will keep asking how far along you are and will point out constantly how much further/longer you have, this is truly agonizing and painful and will just save you from becoming the smiling, nodding robot)

so let's see what I can recall from 2009

umm ok here we go..

January - March - snow, snow and umm more snow. we were battered with snow storms last year. I was working quite frequently as I started my temp part time job in February and this was the lucky month that I got knocked up in. what can i say we had winter cabin fever and had nothing better to do! also had a death in the family, well not my family but my 2nd family and he was sort of a neighbor, well he lived down the street....anyways a good man died in March (right around the time that I found out for sure that I was pregnant, about 4 wks along) so that was rough as he died way to young

April - June - still working a lot, had my 1st ultrasound done in April also started our prenatal classes in April as I had the bright idea to do it while the husband was off work, well he only went to a couple classes and then started work in May so I don't know why I didn't just wait until the fall as I totally forgot everything that they taught us or talked about by the time November rolled around...May is a blur I don't really remember anything standing out in this month...June came along and we had the arrival of miz jilly's sweet little bundle of joy at the end of the Month and a nice visit with my auntie Sharol

July - September - Had my 2nd ultrasound done in July and found out that it was A GIRL! July also had to have been the crappiest month ever, it rained practically every day, but when it didn't rain I was at my parents and in there pool (a godsend and my most favorite place to be on a hot day). spent a lot of time here through the summer, in fact I was never more grateful to only work 2 days a week than I was this summer. my sissy was also home for a stint in July, so that was nice. August I got nothing but memories of the pool, bbq's and being ridiculously hot and sweaty. September rolled around rather quickly and I had my 3D ultrasound done and was able to see and bond with lil baby flea. I was also put off of work early on in the month of September due to my SVT

October - December - October was a very long, painful excruciating month for me, time literally stalled and did not pick up until after lil flea was born into this world. I would literally go insane trying to think of things to do to kill time, why I couldn't or didn't sleep is beyond me and believe me I tried to sleep but I just couldn't turn my mind off. nothing really exciting happened, oh wait I did have my baby shower in October that was fun/nice. then the waiting began, it was a long haul until November and even longer until the 24th but she finally arrived and the wait was over. then I hit a brick wall or what I refer to as the black pit. time doesn't exist beyond that point it all just sort of blends together. my hospital stay was hell on earth, rooming with a crazy biatch on crack, finding out the day after my c-section that I almost bleed to death (ok that is a bit dramatic probably but still I hemorrhaged and that's pretty serious..) coming to terms with the fact that I, (me who never ever thought) HAD A FREAKIN BABY!

like really

and it wasn't love at first sight for me, I wish i could say it was but I think it was quite possible that I was in shock from being strapped onto a table at a horrible/awkward angle and my neck was KILLING me being so very, very thirsty and shaking like a leaf (a reaction to the meds??) and wanting to vomit, my 1st thought was wow, she's really big and really red, and then i was back to thinking it want to vomit and get me off this fucking table. god i'm such a selfish bitch aren't I? like who doesn't love there child at first?

and i know i'm totally off the "reflecting back of 2009" topic but I need to vent

so not only are you exhausted, sore as hell from being cut open, bleeding out your va jay jay like a freaking tap but you have to deal with excess "fluid". god my poor feet, I thought they were bad pregnant well they had nothing on what they were like after. on top of all that, you have to deal with a baby, add in breastfeeding if you choose that option (which i am) and you've got a lot on your plate it's no wonder people get the blues and yes, you betcha I had the blues. quite bad really, almost wondered if I had PPD there for a bit. I would just cry, and cry for no reason AT ALL.

i can't explain it

you would think a person would be happy bringing a new baby into the world, but I wasn't, i just felt numb

I sort of still do feel numb

i'm doing better, feeling more like me and getting into a routine (thank god) but i'm having a time coming to terms with it all. I have a difficult time talking to lil flea as I feel awkward/weird. I don't like talking to her in "baby" talk as I feel like a tool, I do read to her and sing/hum but I just feel like all I am to her is food...does that make sense? and I worry about the stupidest things, like her not breathing or making weird nosies, and why is her poop green?

sigh

its just exhausting

in fact i'm tired so over and out for now

~Happy Holidays!~

Merry Christmas!

from our family to yours, I wish you all a safe, happy, joyful holiday season

(aka eat, drink and be merry!)

my life is like, WHOA!

ok, ok I know it has been like forever, but seriousily i'm doing well enough to keep track of what day it is...

what day is today anyways??

I think its Tuesday and the only reason I actually know that for a change is because I had a Dr appt/check up today

what is it with time when you have to much of it on your hands it drags but when you have a tiny little infant to feed every 2-3 hrs it somehow manages to fly by...??

so

long time no talk my fellow bloggers sorry to keep you all in limbo but really I have a good excuse

I FINALLY HAD MY BABY!!!!

and frankly the last couple of weeks my life has pretty much been, breastfeeding, sleeping, diaper changes, rocking, more breastfeeding (why is this so hard?), etc, etc...

long story short (I don't have much time) I was induced on November 23rd, here's a pic of me early on (after they gave me the drugs to "start" labour).


You can totally tell that i'm scared shitless here..

n'ways

remember how I had a Dr. that I was totally uncomfortable with, well guess who was on call that day. yup, the one and only...what are the odds.

so my water broke around 3 pm (now that was a weird feeling and sooooo disgusting) but what I couldn't get past is that it sort of keeps on breaking, well, not really so to speak but you keep "leaking" through the whole thing. I hated that part, it felt like I was constantly peeing myself.

it's mostly a blur after that

I remember trying a bath and hating it

diddo with the ball

the back pain was way intense

my happy place or moment was a cold face cloth, my eyes closed just focusing on my breathing

oh and the ice chips, god I loved those

around 8 or 9 pm I think I was about 4-5 cm dialated I finally got the epidural, now that shit is fer real DA BOMB. you can bash me all you want for not having a "natural" birth but God created that drug for a reason and by god I would do it again in a heart beat

time moved slowly after that

looking back I totally should've slept, but like a dumb ass I couldn't/didn't as I was numb clear up to my nipples

n'ways

around 2 am, I was checked again finally made it to 10 cm only to discover (which by the way I knew before hand and they totally should've picked up on this sooner) that the baby wasn't turned properly and no way, no how could I deliver vaginally (again Karma hates me as I so didn't want to have a c-section but I just knew that I would...weird). so I had a c-section and viola

miss Lily Rose (aka lil flea) was born into this world at 3:27 am on November 24, 2009

weighing in at 9 lbs 7 oz

here she is meeting mommy


a little closer up this time

here she is meeting Grampie for the 1st time

hanging out with Daddy

just chillin

sleepin on mommy after a big feed

(I could've/should crop me out of this as I look like death but again - NO TIME!)

just had a bath!

that's all I have time for - for now, maybe someday I will do a longer more detailed post on the labour (as I would like to have a write up on it as a keepsake) but that isn't happening right now. I hope you are all well, I have been somewhat reading your posts just haven't commented.

ugh and can you believe Christmas is next week!!

omfg

so not ready

but in case i'm not back by then I wish you all a happy, safe and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

peace. love. joy

over and out

light at the end of the tunnel

there is an end in sight!

I had my 39 week prenatal appointment today and I finally got a good, kindhearted Dr. who has swooped in and saved the day. This is the first Dr. that I have had since I was initially transferred from one hospital to another that I have actually liked, or better yet who actually seemed to care about me, my condition that I have and actually listened/seemed interested in what I had to say, my last few appointments were horrible experiences so it was nice to finally get some answers.

Of course he didn't stand a chance as I practically burst into tears when he asked how I was coping/holding up and I may have over exaggerated my SVT symptoms (sort of, but not really as I have been having more "episodes") but it's all for a good reason AND better yet I have already started the process on my own (sort of). My cervix is 2 cm dilated and has started to soften so really I could go into labour on my own this weekend but if I don't I'm scheduled to be induced on Monday!!!

YAY!!

Thank god I won't have to go past my due date, or even until 42 weeks

thank you
Thank You
THANK YOU!

now if you are really there god, please get the wheels turning and tell my baby to come out this weekend as that super nice Dr. (who I could've kissed) is on call this weekend and it would be really great if I could have him deliver my baby...pretty please??

so the end is near my friends ~ 3 more (possible) days!

killing time

as I have a lot of free time on my hands (for the moment) my days are pretty long and extremely boring. I mostly mindlessly surf the Internet, checking crackbook every half hour hoping for something to change (nothing ever does), visit Perez Hilton & TMZ and I even frequent the shopping channel website (thankfully, I have so far been able to resist purchasing anything although I came really close the other day to buying a new laptop...).

I am now hooked to HGTV and love the shows - Property Virgins, House Hunters & Restaurant Makeover

I also watch quite a bit of the Slice network - Til Debt do us Part & Wedding SOS

pretty much the only show left on TLC that I want to watch is - Say Yes to the Dress, I cannot get enough of this show! like how much I love Randy and ALL the dresses! I also still cannot believe that people pay as much as they do for the "perfect dress" - CRAZY but I love it!

and because I've lost interest in a lot of shows that I used to love (ahem Gossip Girl, So You Think You Can Dance) I've finally joined the club of watching t.v shows on DVD

I can't forget about Ellen & Oprah gotta watch those two shows too every day or at least if Oprah has something non depressing/serious I'll watch it



the hubs and I are also getting caught up on Dexter (Season 2 & 3), I borrowed the DVD's from my hairdresser and OMG we both LOVE this show! we wrapped up season 2 last week and are on about episode 4 of season 3, it's just so good and I so didn't know that Jimmy Smits was on this show! Love him too! course now I swear even more than I did (which I didn't think was possible) but whatever



moving on..



ok, I have always loved General Hospital and have watched it since the early 90's but how freakin cool is it that James Franco will be joining the cast for 10 - yes TEN episodes starting this Friday - November 20th (how much you want to bet that baby flea will probably pick this day to make her arrival?)



can you say HOTTIE



drooling....

oh and the storyline actually sounds pretty interesting too...

cannot wait to watch






















oh and I actually read a book that wasn't about breastfeeding, going into labour or about babies for a change, miz jilly lent me the latest Sophia Kinsella novel and I read it in a day. it was light fluff and a fun read, nice to get away from my reality and step into another one

and the other 12 + hrs of the day consist of eating, sleeping and frequent trips to the bathroom. I think I may take up permanent residence in my bathroom as I spend most of my time there

One more week til D-day (aka Due Date) but I have a feeling i'm totally going to be overdue and that this will be a December baby. I hope to god i'm wrong

over and out

benched

I've been benched, sidelined put out of the game

this waiting thing really, really, REALLY SUCKS!

I'm beyond uncomfortable

to all the people that have been saying all along that I will go "early" I HATE you, way to get a pregnant women's hopes up all for nothing. I'm beginning to think that she will never come out! I cannot fathom 10, TEN more days of this!!!!

so in case you are wondering - no baby...at least not yet

in loving memory

for those of you who have been with me over the years you may know that I usually do up a post or write up about a dear friend of mine - Lisa - who was tragically killed in a car accident on this day, so I always hate November 9/10th (the car crash happened on the 9th, she was taken off life support on the 10th).

this year i'm keeping it short and sweet

I can't believe it has been eight years, so much has changed, sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday as I can remember everything in such vivid detail and then days like today it feels like a whole other life ago

I miss you so much sometimes and I think of you often

you will never be forgotten

I leave you with a fav pic of mine of all us girlfriends at Marsha's wedding dance, I think this was the year before she died

left to right

Sandy, me, Marsha, Jilly and Lisa

Friends Forever

IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

*WARNING* major pregnancy rant ahead, you may want to skip this post. remember you have been warned

18 days ppl

or less depending on if I "go early" or not which every single person I know seems to think that I will. so then of course I get excited and think ok today is the day, and then, nothing. this does not include the tips that people just have to tell you to "bring on labour".

like for example having lot's of sex (which the hubs is ALL over, cuz frankly he hasn't gotten much through this pregnancy) but honestly there is nothing more un-appealing or sexy about getting nekid when you are 9 months pregnant and feeling like a whale but heck i'm willing to try just about anything at this point to get this over with. and well, let's just say so far this hasn't worked yet either

then there's the good old faithful of tweaking of ones nipples, or take a drive over a bumpy road. I haven't become desperate enough (at this point) to try either of these i'm still recuperating from the traumatic sex experiences mentioned above.

when I do leave my house (which is not often) I am constantly asked, "how much longer" or "must be any day now dear" which is all well and good and nice of people to ask or care, but frankly I just want to rip there faces off

in fact I want to rip a lot of people's faces off

irritable and cranky doesn't even come close to the rage I have been feeling lately

nobody is safe

then on top of that I discover that my now sausage like legs have become stretch mark heaven, they have become my very own road map. I discovered this yesterday and had a good cry. the hubs didn't even ask as he knows better by now to just keep his mouth shut. but really, why on my legs? why! I can handle the ones on my belly at least they can be covered but the ones on my legs.....sigh i'm ruined!!!!

this old girl ain't what she used to be

I also have to deal daily with the babies feet or bum sticking waaaayyy out of my belly leaving me wondering if it will poke right through the skin as the skin does not look like it can stretch any more, but it always does. it's the weirdest, grossest yet coolest thing ever

and then there are my feet

yes, I know I've complained about them before but guess what they still are hurting like a mofo, and the swelling!! UGH! they puff all up and do not look like they belong to me at all, in fact they seem so far away at times I think that they aren't mine

another thing that I've just noticed within the past couple of weeks is that it is now even difficult to wipe my own ass

and gassy

holy hell I thought that was just something funny they made up for movies

I hadn't really had much of an issue with gas until a few weeks ago (then again most of my pregnancy up until a few weeks ago was a piece of cake!) now I could be a methane gas producer, it's that bad

and the heartburn. OMFG the heartburn/indigestion is killing me!

i keep trying to tell myself it's almost over, only a little bit left but it isn't working

fun times

fun times

no more monkeys jumping on the bed

i am going insane with boredom

INSANE!

I tell you the days are really, really long sometimes. I mean a person can only nap so much. believe me I am tired, cuz sleep and I are no longer friends, I do well to get an hour at a time through the night but lately I cannot seem to sleep through the day and naps and I used to be very good friends indeed

but not no more

my mind is constantly racing with things to do

like packing my bag for the hospital (which is practically done other than the last minute stuff that I use every day)

or cleaning out that hallway closet with all the "junk" in it, cuz who knows when I will ever get to that once baby is here

or should I bake some cookies, that would kill a half hour and hello cookie dough!

or there is always my dogs looking at me all sad and depressed like "hello, pay attention to me, take me for a walk, something, anything??" when was the last time I paid them attention?

then there is also the growing pile of pregnancy books that I have yet to read, i've got 3 or 4 on the go

so

yes there is tons for me to do

but I literally get tired in like 5 minutes

and I can't stand on my feet too long, because they are swollen and hurt like hell so I've been going in small little bursts of 15 minute cleaning sprees with several hour intervals in between.

i'm sick of the t.v (we too used to be best of friends), sick of the Internet (esp. crackbook which I seem to check every 5 minutes with nothing ever changing)

i'm just soooo bored

sure in 6 months I will probably look back at this and think, you freaking crazy crackwhore what the hell were you complaining about, enjoy the peace and quiet while you can! i'm on my 7th week of being home, not working with only the rare outing or two a week. a person can only take so much.

in other news I received my h1n1 vaccine on Monday so we can all breathe a sigh of relief (for now)

also I am now 4 weeks away from my due date

how freakin scary is that?!

showered with gifts

I had my baby shower today, which was fitting because it is also pouring rain here today. I was sort of dreading this actually (meshing my family & his always stresses me) but it really wasn't that bad at all, in fact I feel all warm and fuzzy inside and well very much loved.

kind of nice really

I think my cold bitter heart grew a little bit more today..

ok, I kid I do have a heart but I couldn't help but swell up and get a little teary at times to know that a)i'm very much loved and that b)people already love my baby too

sure there could've been a few more people there, but really I don't have many friends outside of family (i'm a bit of a loner espically of late) but there was just enough to not make me freak out and have an anxiety attack, cuz I hate being the center of attention. and the best part of all was that there were cupcakes, lot's and lot's of cupcakes. I have been craving cupcakes for most of this pregnancy. When I was working I would sit and watch that show on TLC where the guy bakes cakes and cupcakes...i'm totally drawing a blank on the name...and I would literally drool over the cupcakes. well I finally got me some today. in fact I've lost count as to how many I have eaten, I might actually have eaten one too many but omg they were sooooo good and so worth the wait. I may sneak one more before bedtime....

also the presents

who doesn't love presents?

they were all so pretty and damn my little girl is going to be sporting some pretty fancy duds let me tell you. we did VERY well. other than the odd one or two things with pooh on them (I despise Winnie the Pooh, i'm not sure why exactly or where the hate comes from but I cannot stand pooh...) everything was perfect. I couldn't have asked for nicer stuff or a better day.

I haven't felt this good in a long time

course

it could be all the sugar from the cupcakes...

just sayin

:P

fly on the wall

nothing fits me anymore, i'm freakin HUGE and i'm so sick of wearing the same maternity clothes, day in and day out. the other night I was to tired and wore a t-shirt that I could wear two months ago with my pj's and honestly it was a belly shirt gone horribly wrong. the hubs took one look at me and laughed. that BAD but I didn't change because i'm to the point that I just don't care anymore. I never thought I would get to that point either but i'm totally there.

I had an ultra sound done yesterday to see how the baby is growing due to the medication that I am on for my SVT it can cause the baby to not grow so they had to be sure she's "ok", well I could tell them that she is, as I stated above i'm huge and all along i've been measuring a couple of weeks ahead of what I should be or the "normal". well guess what, she's at about 7 pounds already and I still have 5 weeks to go! the ultrasound tech was all smug like "guess you won't be needing much for newborn stuff" and "I am betting on about 9 pounds". I wanted to take that little wand thingy that they rub on your belly and wack him in the head.

insensitive ass

on a side note from what i've googled, they can typically be two pounds off, so i'm hoping to god she's really only 5 pounds in there...

I thought I was waddling before, well, that was nothing compared to now. I feel like the baby is going to fall right out of my vagina at any moment. imagine walking around like that, go ahead try (for those of you who have been pregnant before i'm sure you know what I am talking about) try it, I bet you CAN'T!

and my feet, omg my feet I can't stand on them for longer than 5 minutes at a time without them hurting and screaming at me "GET OFF! GET OFF OF ME NOW YOU HEAVY COW!"

I have a crush on Justin Bieber

yeah, sad I know but he's so gosh darn cute...

i'm so going to jail or hell

i'll just blame it on hormones

another guilty pleasure is the t.v. show the Vampire Diaries, I was really expecting this show to be so cheesy and a Twilight rip off, but it's actually not that bad. ok, no it is sort of bad really, maybe that's why I watch? I dunno but I can't get enough. and the evil vampire brother totally steals the show

can you believe that October is almost over!?

where the hell has that gone?

i'm starting to wig out, like really, me a mom

really???

I really don't think i'm ready for this life curve ball, you get so cushy and comfy in your normal every day routine and that's all going to change. I think my main problem is that I just can't invision what life will be like once she is here, sure I know it's going to be plain hell for the first 6 weeks, no sleep, diaper changes, feedings, no time for me what gets me is the "joy", "love" everyone talks about that they instantly feel once there child is born. what if I don't have this? what if I look at her and think "it's so not worth it"?? what if I don't love her right away? what if I think she is ugly??

these are the thoughts that keep me awake at night, along with the annual nightly kickings and moving arounds

what's your bet?

honestly, I feel like a frickin race horse or something..

everyone is placing bids as to when I am going to have this kid

my "actual" due date is November 24th

I'll know more after today as I have another pre-natal apponitment as to whether or not they are talking induction so that will screw this all to hell, or I can keep it a secret and not tell when that will be.

the hubs thinks that I won't last through October and is claiming it's going to be a Halloween baby

my mom is saying I'll go early too, but I can't remember what she or even if she picked a date, but early November anyways.

so what do you think?

the wicked witch is dead!

you may or may not recall that the hubs and I had purchased my grandmother's property (which is adjacent to ours) last year (sure I could be all cool and put a link up, but I don't roll like that) and to be honest I thought we would be stuck with it forever, especially after the last people screwed us over royally. but as of October 9th, it's not ours anymore!!

it's gone

SOLD

done and good riddance!

a Dutch family of 5 (who has 5 kids now-a-days?!) actually bought and paid for it, and were extremely happy and excited to buy/move in. frankly, I thought it was a hovel myself but with some hard work and $$ that the hubs and I do not have it could be a good house again. I haven't written anything here about it cuz I didn't want to jinx it but now that they have signed the paper work and actually moved in, I sort of can't really believe it. sure it's going to be sort of shitty having neighbors again, but it's such a huge relief and such a weight/stress has been lifted from my shoulders

in other news

I've been having frequent braxton hicks or at least I hope to god it's braxton hicks, it's too early for her to come yet (I'M NOT READY!) yesterday was the worst yet, very crampy with sharp pains and then I also had diarrhea, not cool, especially when it's Thanksgiving and you are visiting family and ingesting not one, but TWO turkey dinners within 2 hrs of each other

sigh

I have such a rough life, I tell ya

over and out for now I lost my energy burst

*UPDATE* so I did go to the hospital yesterday just to be sure (at my mother's persistence) and it IS Braxton Hicks (which I so knew it was) but still it was scary being hooked up onto the stress test and worrying that I was in early labour, thankfully i'm not (yet) but the Dr. told me to take it easy and try my best to get to 36 weeks cuz she CANNOT come out before then. so i'm sitting here with a dirty house trying very hard to restrain myself from vacuuming the floor which scary as it sounds is VERY hard for me but so not worth the consequences

Glee - Single Ladies (Football Team Dance) 09/23/09

I've been meaning to post this for awhile (well @ least since it was first aired which was a couple of weeks ago). I laughed so hard I was crying, and then I think I peed a little but that's just cuz I pee ALL the time and sometimes I just can't control it (it's entirely the babies fault)

n'ways

I am LOVING everything about this show. its so off the wall, out of the blue funny and DIFFERENT. sure a lot of it wouldn't happen in real life (like what guy would be so dumb to think you can get a girl pregnant without even having sex??) but I think that is just part of Glee's appeal, you get away from your "norm" for an hour of entertainment.

my fav's or better yet the people that make the show are the cheerleading coach, the principal and, Kurt (I hate to refer to him as the gay guy, that sounds so crude, so he's the Kicker above) and oh yeah let's not forget the hottie with the mohawk.

if you aren't watching this show YOU need to be, trust me

baby room completed!

baby flea's room pics

cuz I have no life and i'm going out of my mind with boredom today, I picked up my piece of junk camera (i'm sooo upgrading before baby comes), I thought I would snap some pics of the babies room of what I have so far and do a before and after once I paint (I finally decided on colors, so hopefully the hubs will paint this weekend)

this is as you first walk in, that's the diaper stacker/holder

mobile and the two colors I am going to paint. doing the long wall in the dark purple and the rest in the beige/tan

front of the crib

car seat (we practice with curious george) & bassinet

change table

belly shot, yes it's blury as hell but it was the best out of the lot

and lastly and most importantly....

wardrobe!!

32 wks this week, only 8 more to go!

warblings

not much to report my friends, my life has become so bland and boring I put myself to sleep all the time. can't remember if I told you that I was put off work or not, in fact I can hardly remember this morning, each day blends into the last. it's rather depressing really and I may possibly go insane.

this is what I have picked out for baby flea's bedding/room theme, except the room will be done in a lilac purple color

i've also been overcome with "nesting" aka cleaning or just plain rummaging with something. my reasoning is that I won't be able to do it once the baby is here, so i've been re-arranging rooms, cleaning closets, doing laundry galore, you name it i've probably done it in the past couple of weeks.

I didn't watch the Emmy's, but I have to ask does anyone even watch Mad Men or money or what-ever that show is? cuz I never have...just sayin....

I'm feeling very rotund, sort of like this...

and I cannot possible imagine that I am going to get even bigger but sadly that's the fact and there isn't anything I can do about it.

two months to go people

9 weeks

64 days - at least until my due date, I hope to GOD that this little one arrives on time like her mama and that I don't go over

our friends wedding was beautiful, I took maybe 5 pics and then my camera died. I so wanted to get a pic of myself and the hubs (who looked quite sexy in his tuxedo) but, didn't happen cuz my camera is a piece of shit.

and that's all I got for now - peace out

Dirty Dancing - Time of my Life (Final Dance) - High Quality

in memory of my first "man" crush, I'll never forget watching this movie over and over, and OVER again with my sister and never getting enough

nobody puts baby in a corner

well Patrick nobody ever put you in a corner either, and you will never be forgotten. my heart goes out to your wife and family

~rest in peace~

skittles are good for you

I've never been a what you would call "healthy" eater, i'm a carb-a-holic and I openly admit that. I have no qualms facing the music, but since being pregnant and hearing CONSTANTLY "wow you are HUGE" and then hearing the Dr. say "you are measuring 3 wks ahead" (aka BIG baby)...really takes it's toll on a person. i've become even more self consensus during these oh 7 months, I try to eat a apple and incorporate veggies but it's hard (did I also mention i'm a picky eater?) and i've gained probably in the area of 25 pounds so far and I still have 10 weeks to go....

sure i'm pregnant and I shouldn't care about the excess weight - but I DO! It's going to have to come off at some point and my even bigger issue is that I don't want to have a big baby.

stupid I know

but there I said it

and some of you know I worry about everything so I am constantly thinking or dwelling on this

oh

and it so didn't help matters yesterday when the in-laws were here to watch the DVD of the 3D ultrasound and having my mother-in-law say "you need to go on a diet"

I

was

speechless

UGH!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

in other news, I was put off of work - THANK GOD but sort of not in the way I had intended...

I haven't mentioned it here, but I have always (since I can remember) had a condtion where my heart would do what I call "palpate" aka go really fast and I would just brush it off and sometimes it would stop in a few minutes other times it would last quite awhile. I was diagnosed when I was a kid and knew a few tricks to help stop them when they occured. so no big deal right??

well not exactly

since I've been pregnant they happen A LOT more frequently, before they may happen once every 3-4 months if that (usually caffeine triggers it so I would avoid that, god I miss diet coke...), like i'm talking at least once a week if not 2-3 times a week. at first I did what I always did, I brushed it off, sometimes I could get it to stop, other times, not. then my mom just randomly mentions one day that it may become an issue during labour, what if my heart has what I call an "episode" during labour, or when I need to push? and then I realized it isn't just ME that I have to worry about any more, it can't be good for the baby when these "episodes" happen and I was also really concerned about my heart during labour. so I mention it to the Dr. this was back in June I believe.

the months go by and nothing is being done

finally last month I was able to be hooked up to a heart monitor for 24hrs, and of course I don't have an "episode" the entire time (which I soooo knew would happen).

anyways, long story short I went to work on Tuesday the 8th and I was having an "episode" so I thought well i'm here the ER was quiet, why not just ask to be hooked up to the monitor to see how fast my heart was going.

it was going 192 - the normal rate is under 100

so I was whisked away in a wheel chair (they wouldn't even let me walk), hooked up to monitors, had an IV inserted and basically had the shit scared out of me. I never fully realized how serious that this could be, like I said I always just dealt with it and brushed it off, stupid probably but that's what I did. at it's highest point it was 234 beats per minute. major wake up call. baby flea is fine, I now have to take medication to help keep it under control and i'm also lined up to see specialists, both OBS and Cardiologists. the exact medical term of what I have is called supra ventricular tachycardia (SVT). and me being a google whore, had to google it and discovered that most people with this do end up having C-sections, while there are a few cases where they deliver vaginally with no problems. I really don't want to have a section which is weird because before I was ever pregnant I was like "I so want a c-section if I ever have kids", and now I totally don't. funny how things change like that

enough about that for now

the big wedding is tomorrow!! I booked myself a pamper day and I'm getting my hair and nails done, which I think I totally deserve after such a stressful week. I may or may not post a pic of me in my dress all done up or not (depending on how much of a whale I look like)

happy friday everyone

It's a....

GIRL!!!!!!!!