blurb it's

yes, i know it i've been a bad blogger (i almost typed booger..hahaha..sigh), no new posts, no visits to my faithful (diminishing) readers...promise i'll try harder :)

so yet another moose season is apon us. for those of you that aren't involved in the "hunting" world i envy you. sadly my hubs is a "devoted" hunter, and yes they got their stupid moose. which now means 3 days of endless drinking for him. thankfully this only occurs once a year, and even more thankfully it all takes place at the camp and i don't have to deal with "the drunkeness" but i do hate being home alone...and it's dark...i hate the dark.....you get my drift

it's now offically fall. god i hate fall. yes it's pretty and the weather has been fab lately, but for some reason i always find i'm more depressed this time of year. perhaps it is due to the fact that my hubs big fat pay check will take a huge decrease any week now (seasonal worker), or the fact that ahem Christmas (shudders) is looming in the distance. ugh.

on a positive note though, my sissy is coming home next weekend for thanksgiving (yipee!!) haven't seen her since may, can't wait to spend time with her/see her

you know, i think i'm slowly loosing my mind. i have voices that talk to each other and well they sort of argue. like for example:

voice 1 "you know you should just hang in their with this job it's not that bad and the pay is good you get good bonus, and a chance to move up"...

voice 2 "yes, but wouldn't you rather be doing this"...or i dunno this isn't coming out how i planned...but they totally bicker back and forth and sometimes i can't go to sleep at night cuz they just won't shut the f@#*! up you know...

ok, forget what i just said

i totally jigged work yesterday

you know why? cuz i had no sleep the nite before cuz of the voices in my head! that and my damn dog would NOT stop farting all night long and as if farting wasn't bad enough. these things smelled so freakin bad like rotten nasty ass chili that has sat out for days bad. like eww. i so wanted to vomit ever time he did it. like what the hell did he eat?? seriously??

lordy, lordy

so lot's of new shows starting & the oldies are back (grey's!!!), haven't really gotten back into the full grove of t.v yet but i am liking a new show called Gossip Girl, very trendy & quite good (so far), other than that i haven't really took in any other new shows. oh, sure i've tried to watch the spin from grey's Private practice but that show just doesn't feel "right" or something...not liking it

you know i totally forgot to do a fashion run down from the emmy's!!

man i'm really out of it aren't i? mabye it's cuz i didn't watch?? meh

i think it's time for bed!!

peace out :P

tip of the tongue

confused
angry
bitter
resentful
tired..oh so tired
hungry (all the time)
anxious
stressed
crabby
frustrated
nervous wreck...

just to name a few, i sum it up best by referring to myself as a cracked plate/pot whatever, it can only go so long before it finally cracks and man i so feel like i'm getting near there. i was almost at this point a month ago whilst at the other job i hated, mind you i don't quite hate this one as much (yet) but i can't help thinking what the hell am i doing and this is sooo not for me. but what is exactly?

dunno

but that's what i'm itching/dying to know

i just know i want out of this job (yet again!), what's wrong with me? i just wish someone can fix things and find me the right job, which, by the way i have never found, sure i thought i was happy in a few i had but really i wasn't. so what's the answer? back to school? can't afford it, plain and simple & don't want a student loan coming out my ass forever, and ever...

guess i just have to put my big girl panties on and get over it, just don't know how

and sadly the only thing i enjoy lately is watching re-runs of the OC on much music...

~sigh~

nope, things aren't any better here

news flash

mizz flea flea's people would like to apologize for her recent absence here on her blog page.

we also wanted to inform you that she's

a)not dead
b)hasn't been institutionalized
c)been abducted by aliens

she would also like us to inform you that she's "going through some things" (whatever the hell that means were just quoting her) which may be a result of the following:

- being laid off/dismissed from yet another job (yup, that's right what a loser eh!) mind you she wants us to stress that she hated it with a passion and was truly relieved to be let go

- still dealing with repressed rage and hate for her former employer that kicked off this entire string of bad luck in the 1st place (we'd like to note that she needs to move on from this but for some reason she cannot let it go) and every time she sees their truck's/employees out and about this rage just resurfaces and makes her angry/depressed (crazy!! & she needs meds but i didn't say it...)

- having to cave and take a job that she could've took before she started the last job (which she hated, remember?) and have to work nights/weekends, and learn a whole lot of goobly gunk that hurts her poor little head

- dealing with a bad, bad little puppy that gets into everything and really tries her patience

- missing miss britney spear's horrific performance on the mva's (like hello!) this may actually have cheered her up a bit to see someone worse off than her

- being lazy and out of shape and having no mojo to do anything about it (we think she needs to stop going thru the mcdonald's drive thru....)

- and basically not knowing what she wants to do with her life in general. she wants us to stress that everything suxs ass right now and for you all to bear with her while she goes through this difficult time. hopefully she will snap out of her little pity party soon, were frankly quite tired of her negativity...but you didn't hear that from me......

sincerely,

mizz flea flea's conscience