from my brain to you

tidbits for the day

it's snowing again - have yet to put on winter "snow" tires as i have been procrastinating now for about a month mabye i'll get them on next week or possibly this weekend.....mabye

it's exactly 1 year ago today that my gram died. does not feel real or possible i'm still numb and in denial cannot believe that it has been a year ago

it's extremely boring and quiet here today in all there is about 5 people here in the office today when there is normally like 20 + mind u i'm not complaining really just makes it a really, really long day

need to start exercising pronto but cannot muster up the energy where is my personal trainer when i need him (god i wish i had one.....santa can u here me????) mabye i will start this next week too....

i've been called in to go for testing for another gov't job only it's temporary and i dunno what to do as i've been there done that and i finally have full time job but this other job is more money....what to do what to do think i will turn it down what do u think??

it's turkey day in the US ~ gobble gobble ~ wish i had 4 days off :(

it's offical Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey are kaput, who didn't see this one coming a mile away but it's still kinda sad though isn't it i mean it seemed like they were happy & in love once. just goes to show you that marriage is hard no matter who you are and you can drift apart. i am sure the press will have a field day withvthis one

i dunno what to do with myself this afternoon i'm tired of surfing the net & i'm all caught up on the latest gossip mabye i should find a cool game to play online

i'm debating on changing my screen name as i find ~h~ a little boring but yet i kinda like it as that's my first inital but i'm thinking of either A)hollerback girl (as i love gwen stefani) B)flea (which is my nickname) what do ya think???

does anyone else find or feel that lost is a little slower than usual i mean it's still really good but i dunno i need more action, where are the others & the weird spooky thing in the jungle, where's walt people!! enough back stories already!!

man i'm bored gues it's time to move onto something else

~holla~

sweet & sour

Sweet - I actually posted a quiz can u believe it?? cause i can't

Sour - weather is shitty has not stopped raining all day and not just a lite rain oh no this stuff is pouring i am dreading driving home. hate. hate driving in the rain (lisa hydroplaned see previous post rewind) am down right terrified to drive home espically in the dark

Sweet - i get next Tuesday off to go shopping

Sour - will have no MONEY pay day not til thursday guess i'll have to use the charge card which just depresses me even more.........

Sweet - only half an hour to go

Sour - driving home in the dark ucky rainy night. UCK!!

Sweet - new episodes of Supernatural, Bones and Threshold on tonight

happy tuesday pps! :)

~i'm out~

Quiz this

Your Power Color Is Indigo

At Your Highest: You are on a fast track to success - and others believe in you. At Your Lowest: You require a lot of attention and praise. In Love: You see people as how you want them to be, not as how they are. How You're Attractive: You're dramatic flair makes others see you as mysterious and romantic. Your Eternal Question: "Does This Work Into My Future Plans?"

What's Your Power Color?

zzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz

huh. whuz it......wuz........what??

what's going

oh

i'm blogging

huh, how did i get here.........

i'm soooooo TIRED! or i should say BORED outta my mind! that or i left my brain at home this morning. i am NUMB to everything today and feel like doing NOTHING.

~sigh ~

i've been like this since friday and i can't seem to snap out of it. i shouldn't be tired. i had a nice quiet weekend, lot's of sleep did much of nothing almost went crazy in fact with boredom as hubby was away.

but all i want to do today is close my eyes and shut out the world.......zzzzz....... then the dang phone here at work snaps me back to reality ~zap~ yeah, yeah i here you....i'm awake (but i'm really not). just seem to be going thru the motions today. i need caffeine and lot's of it sadly i don't drink coffee nor a lot of pop (soda to you yankees).

so on the positive side of things i must tell myself that:

i have only 2 more hours of monday to go (work hours that is)
after today i only have 4 more days of work
there are only 9 more days of hell month (aka november)
i'm taking a day off somewhere in the next 2 wks to do my x-mas shopping

so really it's not all that bad now is it?

LMFAO

no this goat is not dead (i'm not that sick).......read on and you'll see why i'm laughing.....

on a typical boring sunday afternoon i tune into TLC to watch some mindless t.v. only to discover that Tuckerville is on the air most of the afternoon. For those that do not know this is a reality show on the life of Tanya Tucker famous, notorious country star who has a huge mansion in Tennese and this show follows her and her 3 kids.

on this particular episode we follow her son Grayson and his best friend Lionel, now these two are little hellions when they are together. Grayson has a school project that he needs to do for science class and he chooses to do his research on fainting goats. that's right the goat above has fainted and apparantly fainting goats are a slightly smaller version of the standard goat, who, believe it or not, thanks to a genetic condition called myotonia congenita, actually seem to faint when they are startled. unbelieveable right.

well Grayson and Lionel had to locate a farmer near them who has a whole herd of these things and they get the video tape out (for there project) and ask the farmer questions and all that good stuff to go along with it. now to the good part. the farmer's like just sneek up on em and yell real loud they'll drop just like that.

the first couple of times they did it i did not find it funny, in fact i found it kinda cruel (i am an animal lover). but the more they did it i kinda go giddy. i mean seeing these wee little goats drop and roll on the ground on there backs with there little legs out i began to laugh. like an uncontrolable laugh. i couldn't stop. they would be clumped in an area together and the whole herd of them would drop to the ground like bowling pins. i'm now laughing so hard i'm crying. little rivers of tears are rolling down my cheeks, my sides start to hurt. suddenly hubby comes in from outside and sees me sitting on the couch laughing with tears streaming down my face and i cannot talk all i can muster is a point at the screen. but alas the scene of the fainting goats has ended.

i tried to tell him of the fainting goats but he didn't belive me! he's all like that's not possible. so now i'm all defensive and guess what i showed him cause the commercial was over and there they go again. sadly he didn't quite find it as amuzing as me but he did laugh a little.

hee

i want one!!

rewind

where was i :

1 year ago (2004) - probably sitting at my gov't job dreading work that day & dreading working at my other part time job (picked up extra work due to the mill layoff's) at a retail store. the wurst that has happend to me thus far this year is the death of hubby's grandad & the layoff's of the mill. not knowing that in 2 wks my gram would be dead and everything just would be shitty. but at this moment in time a year ago i was probably pretty content with my life.

3 years ago (2002) - still in deep morning for lisa, working at a job that i hated and boss that i hated and he hated me. i wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and die

4 years ago (2001) - driving to work at the job i despised (same lame ass employer that i was with a year later, why i stayed so long i'll never know....) in the rain. i here on the news that there has been a bad accident on the TCH (trans canada highway) thinking and hoping to myself that it wouldn't affect my drive. in the next couple of minutes i hit the line up of traffic (at this time the TCH was still only a double lane highway we wouldn't get a 4 lane until 2003/2004) and i try to call ahead to work to let them know i'll be late. shit nobody in yet. well oh well, screw them. in the next 20-30 minutes sitting in line only glimpsing cop cars every now and then i receive several phone calls. 1 from not then hubby wanting to be sure it wasn't me in the accident, 1 from mom & dad, i made a call to aunt sharol's to be sure it couldn't be her or jilly which it wasn't but something just "nagged" at me like i knew it was going to be someone i knew or knew of. so as i get closer and closer i can begin to see that indeed it was nasty and as i slowly drive by with the police man waving me on i catch a glimpse of a white car in a ditch and damn whoever was in that car is a goner......who do i know with a white car.....hmmm...then i see the front of the car and i know instantly that it's lisa's car and i'm instantly crying and freaking the f@#! out. omg. omg. omg. the next few days are a blur. i just remember being at the hospital waiting and praying, knowing that she wasn't going to come around or wake up. numb to everything and oblivious to other life around me.

6 years ago (1998) - fall of 98 wow that's been awhile ago fresh out of high school was i and i had no clue then like i do now what i wanted to do with my life. knew that i didn't want to go to school so that was out so i got a job working for my uncle working in his clothing store for that fall. don't really remember much but know that we were all starting to hang out around each other around this time

10 years ago (1994) - wow this is a stretch fer sure. all i really remember is this was the year or on coming year for my sister's graduation and i was in grade 9. i was jealous of her and the attention she would get for being in grade 12, the friends she had, how well she did in school...etc, etc it's a safe bet that i lived in her shadow because the year or two later i started to change becomming myself, wanting to go out, speak out, drink, party whatever just to do something anything different than her. i was part of a group of 6 girls (total including me) that thought we were like the girls in Clueless, we would dress like them, talk like them, act like them. we thought we were the cat's ass and we probably were as we were all very pretty each in our own way. we were hot as paris hilton would say. i remember going to Aldo's & Le Chateau to buy my clothes (i wouldn't step foot there now). i played basketball even though i hated it just cause my sister did (i would later quit in grade 11). i was so not atheletic or any good totally sucked ass.

12 years ago (1992) - this is as far as i will go but i had to put this here as this was the year of my most embarssing moment that i talked about in a previous blog a little while back. this was the year that i started my lovely period. yup i was now a women. yippee. not. in fact this was probably the last time i ever wore a pad. uck how i hate pads....anyways. anytime i would wear a pad, it either a) leaked and i had blood all over my pants, b) stuck to my ass and or private regions and i felt like i was wearing a diaper and c) smelled like dirty ole ass. yes those were the good ole days. and unlike now-a-days where i'm regulated like clock work i never knew or knew enough to keep track as to when i would have my monthly flux. so quite often like case in point i would start unexpectably and end up in a mess (quite literally) and want to die. this happend a lot this year.

ah the memories.....

~ i'm out ~

a trip down memory lane

from a previous post (nov 1 i think) i breifly touched on the surface about a friend of mine that passed away in a car accident. it will be 4 years tommorrow morning since her accident and thursday (nov 10) is the actual day that she passed on but i always consider the 9th d-day as i like to call it as that was to me the day she died. i hate that word and i hate writting that word. but the fact is she's gone from her family, her fiance, her friends, her life.

i often wonder what she would be like today, where she would be, what she would look like, would we even still be friends as friends often drift apart and go there separate ways. so today i'm taking a trip down the ole memory lane to remember Lisa Marie Nicole Sharpe aka weezey or weeze (why we called her this is beyond me now but it stuck)

my first ever time meeting lisa (she wen't to Woodstock even though she lived closer to Meductic/Canterbury) and she was best friends with a girl in my class (whom i'll call MJ) and they were at a basketball game at good ole CHS when i was probably in grade 6. i instantly disliked her as she was "going" with a guy that i partially liked myself and i was so jealous and wanted nothing to do with her what-so-ever.

the years go by and i often here stories of lisa from MJ, still somewhat disliking her from my first inital meeting with her and eventually i kinda forget about her until she starts dating craig (the local hottie) in grade 11 or 12. she would come to the dances, local parties whatever and i was still terribly jealous of her after all these years as she was a very pretty girl & she was nailing CHS's finest. and she could dance. i've never mentioned before or perhaps i have but i LOVE to dance and i'm going to toot my own horn here but i'm good at least pps tell me so (but i really couldn't care as i just love to dance). if only i could have taken those dance classes i could have been that much better....but that's a story for another day.......

where was i...oh yeah dancing. she could move and i would watch her at the dances try to do one better than her and we would sort of be competing ya know (like a dance off almost). this is really all i can think of for memories in high school. i didn't know her then just knew of her and knew that i would have loved to be her or at least in her shoes for a day or mabye two!

a year later in the fab year of 1998/1999 we bumped into each other again, only this time we became friends. the reason. well we met a few "older" guys who liked to party, supply the beer & weed and "the circle" was instantly formed. a group of 4 guys and 5 girls became un-seperable. we did everything together that summer before we all kinda paried off into "couples". we partied all that time didn't matter if it was monday, thursday whatever. you just walked down the street and the boys would be driving around and tell us to "bail in er" and off we wen't. camping trips, a rock concert, we did it all that summer. life was sweet then. didn't have to worry about car payments, mortgage payments all we cared about was having enough $$ to buy some boone's wine or beers. work was a joke we, all worked in retail us girls anyways so we didn't give a rat's ass bout anything.

when i think back on this summer all i can recall is hot sunny weather, cold beer, camping trips (mostly at North Lake), the smell of weed, baseball tornaments (my one and only), get together's at "the damn" in forest city, sunburns, traveling the back roads and getting stuck more than once. those were the days.

i may not have been as close to her as jilly or marsha but she was a friend, after all these years of me spiting her and being jealous of her she was one of my best friends. funny how things work out.

the thing that her and i had in common the most was our love for the happy weed. we couldn't get it enough. my most vivid memory of her and i (i believe sandy was there too, another member of the circle....) at a party in Woodstock, why i was at a party in woodstock is beyond me but there we were at this stupid lame ass party with a bunch of sandy's friends from high school. lisa and i look at each other and just "know" what the other is thinking and lisa's like i have to run out and get something heather do you want to come with me.....and we are off. as soon as she's in the car she's like i have a friend that can hook us up and we go to the shadiest place i've ever been but it's worth it. we head back over to the lame ass party, sit outside and smoke em back to back. i have never been so messed up ever and i can just close my eyes and remember the feeling that i had that night and i can hear lisa's laugh and how on the drive home (god i don't know how she drove...) we were listening to Our Lady Peace's CD that has clumsy, and superman's dead it's an awsome CD and lisa kept hitting replay on clumsy. over and over again and she was driving sooooo slow and laughing that she felt like she was going 100 mph. that was a wild nite.

funny how when you get thinking how the memories all come back. i know i don't often think of her as much as i used to but it still hits me every now and then. espically when i see her mom, or something that reminds me of her. i remember right after the accident how i would see her everywhere, pps that resembled her in the least quite often it was long brown hair or just the style of someone's clothes as she was always dressed so stylish & to the nine's.

i miss her and i'm sure i'll think of more memories to post this week as usally from the 8-11th she's bout the only thing on my mind.

weekender report

agenda: sleep, more sleep, mabye a little drink or two and more sleep

events/play by play:

saturday, ahhh blissful, peaceful saturday oh how i love thee. spent the entire day in bed unable to move or summon any energy to do anything. battled yet another headache blaming this on why i was so damned tired.

saturday evening: after sleeping away the day i now have tons and tons of energy and i must get out and do something, anything. so we have a little bonfire in the back yard (it was FREEZING) but i enjoyed it as it was the last one of the year :(

jilly & "m" came out had a few drinks and then we are off to the bar! yippee

only apon arriving at the bar there is is nobody in sight :( but i will not let this deter me oh no i'm on a mission to a) get drunk & b) have a good time and most of all c)dance and shake my ass like it's never been shook before! priority number 1 is to get some drinks into me. do a couple of shooters to get er started then i proceed to my drink of choice rum & coke. a few more pps arrive, drink a few more drinks and then the bartender pulls out some jello shooters.......i'm drooling at this point. love jello shooters espically the cherry ones. anyways, they are FREE that's right free! as they were left over from last weekend's halloween bash. let me tell you we tore through those shooters like a pack of hyeana's. the rest of the night is a blur so it had to be a good time and i crashed and burned at like 2:30 so of course all day sunday i was good for nothing. did absolutely dick all. could not get out of bed, head hurtz like heck, think i pulled a leg muscle dancing.......so yeah i had a super weekend!

how bout you?

ready to catch some "z's"

man i can hardly keep my head up let alone having my eyes be open. it's so utterly quiet and dead here at work today i'm ready to curl up and pull a quckie nap to catch some "z's".

i'm sure nobody would notice (although the eye in the sky would) but what's a 15 minute nap?

why are fridays the day that everyone who has a "title" gets to take off and be out somewhere important rather than here at the office? leaving us poor goats to hold down the fort and try to stay lively. if i was rich and had my own company i would just send pps the hell home instead of paying them to sit on there ass and do nothing. mind you i shouldn't be complaining as all i've done all day is surf the net but i'm BORED and i wanna go home already! like it's almost painful to be here it's that quiet i just want to scream so there is actual noise in the building. even my radio isn't good company. sigh.

on the positive note though it is friday,

it is pay week

tommorrow is saturday and i'm hoping to tie on a good one tommorow nite with jilly and shake our "humps" (lol) at the B&G

i can sleep in tommorrow and do nothing all day should i choose to do so

~happy friday~

i'm out

~h~

it's SNOWING!!!

our first offical snow/flurry here in my neck of the woods. a part of me is actually a little giddy (isn't anyone though with the 1st snow of the season?) but on the other hand it's also a little depressing as alas winter is upon us

i don't imagine it will acumulate to much it's more of a wet rain with big chunks of the white stuff in it. i almost want to run outside and run around in it with my tongue out catching the snowflakes like when we were kids. rememeber those days?

well in other news i'm getting my flu shot today so no more colds/flu like symptoms for me (at least i hope i wasn't sick last year and i had one....). i'm a little fearfull and almost wishing that i would have an allergic reaction to the flu shot so i could have the afternoon off of work....hmm that's a thought to ponder.......

it's thursday pps only 1 more day til the weekend!!!

fat guy in a little coat

omg i have never wanted to crack out and laugh so hard in my life. anyone remember the movie "tommy boy" with Chris Farley........

anyone......

ok there is this one scene where he puts on David Spade's coat and he sings the song fat man in a little coat and ends up ripping the coat off in the process. priceless and so funny you have to watch this movie if you haven't just for the stupidity & this moment on film.

anyways today i witnessed my very own fat man in a little coat. well it wasn't a coat but one of those road flagger outfits that are bright orange with huge X stripes on them. and this guy is well fat and the coat was waaaayyy to small and he was talking to me and all i could think or hear in my head was FAT MAN IN LITTLE COAT! and i cracked a smile and then i kinda snickered and then he looked at me all weird and then i kinda mabye snorted a little but i covered it with a cough. i don't think he bought it though. and now i can't stop tee-heeing in my head about this man and the next time i see him i will just die!!!!!

my least favorite month

it's that time of year. you can feel it in the air, smell it, loathe it. that's right it's November. I never used to hate it so but as the years roll by something always happens in November to make me hate it even more.

Mabye it's because it's our last month for a long weekend (Remembrance day - Nov 11) and we don't get another break until Christmas and then Easter that stretch from Jan thru March or April is always brutal but I blame November for kicking off the string of depressing months looming ahead.

Mabye it's because my grandfather who was a vetran from the 2nd world war and lost his right leg and his brother & best friend while over there always used to work so hard and promote awareness of Remembrance Day to remember those who were lost or risked there lives for us. Our local community always holds a service remembering those who served there country and he was always so active in this and even though he has been gone for 6 years this coming January I always miss him the most this time of year

Mabye it's because one of my best friends was killed in a car crash 4 years ago on a typical wet, dreary November day. How i hate November rain. How i miss her. How i still tell myself that she is still here she's just away somewhere's, i guess this is my way to handle death as i have done it with anyone close to me. just makes it that much harder when you realize that they are gone at least from here but i take comfort in knowing that i will see them again.

Mabye it's also because this is the month that my grandmother passed away last year. It's also worse as her birthday is this month too. and again i tell myself that she is just away not letting myself greive properly. but every once and awhile it actually hits me and i stop and think and remember her, her life, her laugh, her fabulous extrodinary cooking (espically her homeade donuts) how i would always go to her house before going home (she lived right down the road from us) and sit and watch t.v. or play word scramble games just to eat whatever she had cooked up fresh that afternoon. she would often do this neat little trick where she would flip a word and spell it backwords the one that i hear her do most often in my head is IPPISSISSIM! and she would always say it so fast and i would laugh. she would often do the entire alphabet too but the mississippi one always stands out to me the most.

Mabye it's the weather, it's always cold, dreary, dark, gloomy, raining or snowing it's always unpredictable

whatever the reason November is my least favorite month

only 29 more days til December.........