Monday, August 29, 2005

Welcome to the Jungle

welcome to the jungle we've got fun 'n' games

i live in a jungle. my animals all four of the (2 dogs, 2 cats) have the rule of my home.

Ya learn ta live like an animal in the jungle where we play

no word of a lie. i have given up trying to stay on top of the dirt and mud but it's impossible so i just let my floors get filthy dirty, i mean dirty your feet would be black in an instant. there is cat and dog hair everywhere you cannot escape it. i've let this go for a little while and now i'm fed UP. i can't take anymore dirt or hair. i have dust bunnies rolling around the size of a baseball. i'm so overcome by the smell, hair whatever of animals. i mean i love them and all but geez

You can have anything you want but you better not take it from me

HUGE mofo party at the camp this past weekend for my hubby's cousin and bride to be who are getting married in 2 wks. they had their bachlor/bachlorette parties. was a blast and i totally got smashed and was so drunk. my world was all spinny!!! i haven't been that loaded in a very long time, in fact i think i out drank hubby which never happens and he was watching me like a hawk as i tend to flirt while intoxicated. anyways it was super fun and i didn't throw up although i was down for the count all day sunday. did not want to get out of bed.

And when you're high you never ever want to come down

so were getting down to the wire for the Rolling Stones concert in Moncton it's this coming weekend. i'm actually getting a little excited and a little less fearful i must say although the fear is still there but being numbed by the fact that i can't wait to see our lady peace and the fricking tragically hip & the stones. can't wait. but fear of dying or of being hurt is still there.........must repress

You know where you are????????

You're in the jungle baby

You're gonna die in the jungle

so i'm back into the grind of the work world. going well, i like the pps and the company and all but overall i'm a bit disappointed. not with the job but with myself. i want more than just "answering" the phone. i'm trying to think positive and that mabye hopefully in a year or less (god i hope less) that i can be promoted to another position. i just feel like i'm not going anywhere/improving upon myself. i dunno it's weird and i'm trying not to let my feelings effect my job but i think it is. i'm just to damn confused and frustrated & all these damn changes in my life the past 6 months is getting to be a little overwhelming.

anyways it's getting to be bed time.

talk more later

Thursday, August 18, 2005

fidgety didgety

i think i am suffering from cabin fever.

warning sign number one - cannot sit still must twitch something, preferably my right foot.

warning sign number two - cleaning my house like mad, like the show Clean Sweep mad. i'm throwing crap out, dusting, i'm even contemplating washing walls tommorrow. i frickin hate washing walls and once vowed that i would never, ever do so but upon noticing some heavy duty dust/dirt on my walls i think i just may go at them tommorrow........................

warning sign number three - my thumb is sore from channel surfing through daytime t.v. most days i watch regis and kelly then clean for a couple of hours and come back at 2pm to watch all my children and days of our lives (i flick back and forth between the two). sometimes i just watch much music although lately they are running a lot of re-runs, and other times i just randomly flick, back and forth and to and fro until i just can't take anymore and i return to my mad rampage of cleanliness

warning sign number four - i'm constantly hungry. even if i just ate something i'm hungry. thankfully i don't have much for food in the house as i'm all by my lonesome. but have i ever got the munchies.

warning sign number five - i shriek at my pets. i've turned into shreiky from the care bears. any little movement sets me off. it does not help that they do not listen to a word i say. hubby is numero uno in their eyes and like they are going to listen to the women who shreiks all the time.

warning sign number six - minimum amount of sleep. i'm up well past midnight every night and up at the crack of dawn. my eyes are burning out of my head and my head pounds/aches all the frickin time. i eat advil like they are candy and it still aches and pounds. but i can't sleep as i have things to do, things to clean......


running out of energy

getting sleepy, must be close to midnight.

on the positive side of things (must think positively people!!)

i have found another job and start back in the work world on monday, which makes me terribly nervous as i've grown accustomed to taking naps in the afternoon, watching soaps, munching on food throughout the day and just plain being lazy. but it's a job yippy skippy and i think that it will be great and all but at the same time i'm kinda sad.

good bye late late nights of mindless tv
farewell afternoon naps
so long mindless frantic cleaning
i'll be seeing you my dear friend, sour cream and onion ruffle chips i'll miss you promise to write and keep in touch
au-revoir shrieky, i'm sure i see you again soon................................

Sunday, August 14, 2005

top 10 run down of my day

1.) woke up at 8am to have my daily dose of "good good whole wheat shreddies" only to discover that we were out of milk.

2.) pried my new baby kitty off of the back of my neck. the little spider monkey loves to climb up pps backs. all i can say is ouch make that a double ouch. my back is scratched all to pieces.

3.) wanted oh so badly to crawl back in bed and go to sleep but hubby decides that he wants to "wrestle" and "tickle" me until i cannot possbily take anymore. i almost died (seriousily)laughing so hard and i swear i saw the light but really i couldn't breathe and it was kinda freaky. hubby then finally decides to lay off when he discovers that i have turned blue.

4.) it's official all my pets are crazy. they are bad, bad bad pets who do not listen and mind and they drive me up the wall. the dogs chase the cat, the cat then chases the dog, my other cat charlie meows to go out, the dogs whine to go out, it's a frickin circus i should be charging pps to live with me for a day. god i could probably make money off of this, why didn't i think of this before?

5.) finally go back to sleep and sleep well past noon. ahhhhhhh. sleep.

6.) had to go and get groceries with hubby as he is away all week at work. this is always such a fun, bonding experience for us. NOT. god we fight the whole entire time. so not fun but i survived by bribing him with the bait of "Canadian Tire". needless to say he took it hook, line and sinker!

7.) arrived home yet again. no energy. nothing on t.v. should do something but can't/don't know what. mabye i'll just sit here on the couch and watch much music.

8.) dropped a big ass container of ice cream on my foot (mostly my three small toes) and let me just say that, that mofo frickin hurt like a sob and it's still throbbing! so ruined my whole dish of cookie dough ice cream. yummy. ice cream. toes hurt. ouch!

9.) so bored that i just had to come and blog about something

10.) sit here in my pj's yet again, bloated, full of ice cream and feeling like a fat ass. i'll so have to go jogging in the morning.

over and out

Saturday, August 13, 2005

me and my PJ's

so it's saturday, usually my happiest day of the week. the sun is shining out there and all i want to do is stay curled up in my bed in my pj's.

yeah i'm lazy, so what?
yeah, mabye i'm a little bummed out and depressed, but so what?
so i have no energy, no motovatation, nadda, to to anything, so what?
so i haven't showered in a couple of days, whop-iddy-do!
so what if i haven't swept the floor or done laundray in a couple of days,
so what if my house is a mess,
the dogs need walked,
i need to lose 10 pounds,
stop chewing my nails,
comb my hair & brush my teeth,

it all really doesn't matter today cause today is PJ day!

that's right i declare today PJ day and i'm leaving my pj's on until i feel like it (mabye not at all, who CARES!!!) but more than likely we will be going out later (at least i hope so) to hang with friends and get shit faced (which i sooooo could use).

so here i sit in my bright pink new pj's that i just bought yesterday. trying not to feel sorry for myself as i could probably be much worse off, but yet i still feel like crap. i'm worrying about bills, finding a good job and all that jazz. can i ever just relax a little. i think not.


in the meantime i think i'll just enjoy PJ day, cause everyone deserves one every now and then.

don't they????

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

i'm frickin 25!

so my birthday was yesterday and i just cannot believe that i'm this old. in my mind's eye i still feel like mabye 20 or 21. where has my life gone? and worse, i have no clue what i want to do with my life.

dunno what to do job wise. should i continue as a "administrative assisant" and be un-happy the rest of my life or should i go back to school and better myself? the only problem with this is i draw a blank when i think of what i could go back to study/learn/become.

hmmmmm mabye a:


business women,

arts (na not all that creative.......),

definetely not legal (ha ha ha)

ummm fuck if i know

what to do, what to do

my mind is running in constant circles. why must i be so GD indecisive? so not fair. wish i had set goals for myself in high school and i so would not be going through all this trauma/drama right now i would be graduated from college and be making the big $$$ ha ha as if anything ever works out the way you want or plan. sigh. if only.

so i'm bored already. 3 days without work and i'm bored already. you would think that i would be sleeping in, relaxing, de-stressing. nope. not me. i'm up at like 8 in the morning ready to go. i got up and cleaned and touched up some paint spots early this morning. so not typical me. it's kinda my way that i deal with things though. if i'm upset or worried i clean. weird.

well it's another hot/humid day and i'm heading in to mom's here shortly to lay and lounge by the pool while i get a killer tan and some skin cancer. i love sun bathing even though it's so not good for you.

anyways. enjoy the week. see ya soon :)

Friday, August 05, 2005

shit storm

yup, this is the best way to describe my life at this moment in time.

shit storm

my family's latest word for our continous string of bad luck that just doesn't seem to be letting up.

the shit storm basically began when the St. Anne Nackawic mill closed down last September. my hubby, my dad and uncle Gary among many other families were affected. 400 + pps were left without a job. making it really hard financially on everyone & extra stress that we did not need.

then my grandmother passed away in november, which still hasn't really actually sunk in for me i still can't belive she's gone. some days i think she's still here and then other's it hits home and i have to cry. i miss her terribly & wish i could hear her laugh one more time. she had such an infectious laugh.

then in december my hubby's gram passed away like the week before x-mas. didn't see that one coming at all and it totally ruined the holiday.

couple of months later i lose my government job that i miss still today. wish i was still there and i miss all of the people i worked with. didn't really realize how good i had it there until i no longer had it.

in march i started job from hell at the call center in hartland. a very black time indeed for me. how i hated it there and how when i look back at it all i should have known from the interview that it was a messed up place to work in. but hey it was a learning experience and i at least got out of there.

my mom got injured at her work and had to be off for like two mohths due to her injury

my dad is still laid off waiting for the mill to re-open and praying that wheni t does he is one of the few who gets re-hired.

my cousin tommy (who is more like a brother to me) got injured on the job as well while working at Sabin cymbals and almost lost his hand. thankfully he didn't but he has a long road of physical therapy ahead.

my stupid cat mr. jynks had to go and get run over. god how i miss that damn cat.

had a weak moment on monday and wen't and got another kitten from crazy cat lady who had well over 50+ cats and felt sorry for the one that we brought home. there is something seriousily wrong with this cat as it is constantly shitting diehera that reaks unlike anything i have ever, ever smelled in my life. and it cannot seem to control it's bowles and there is always shit running out of it and ewwwwww. i'm taking it to the vet this afternoon and i'm hoping that it's just worms or something but if not i'm half considring taking it to the animal shelter as i just cannot handle the shit & smell. i've been keeping it in the basement and i feel horrible about doing that but it's better than having shit everywhere. oh and it hates, HATES the litter box and will not use it. god why do you let me make such dumb ass decisions??

wondering what's my latest bad news


i've been laid off from my job that i have only been at for mabye 3 months.

yup, that's right i'm un-employed. done. fin. didn't have to go to work today and don't have to go back even though he is paying me for 2 more wks of pay. my position has been discontinued and he is seeking someone with more experience to fill in for laura when she goes on her maternity leave in another couple of months. which i totally understand as it was taking me for-ever to figure out and learn the legal end and honestly i probably couldn't see myself there much longer anyways, but it still sucks ASS to be laid off. but at least i will qualify for EI if worst comes to worst which i'm sure it will as there are no jobs in Woodstock and i'm just feeling so sorry for myself today it's pathetic.

i know i should be thinking of the positive things and that when one door closes another always opens but it's just not really sinking home yet that i have no job.

ha ha ha ha ha

oh the joys that life throws at us!!!

i think i need therapy, i can't handle it anymore