Wednesday, October 28, 2009

no more monkeys jumping on the bed

i am going insane with boredom


I tell you the days are really, really long sometimes. I mean a person can only nap so much. believe me I am tired, cuz sleep and I are no longer friends, I do well to get an hour at a time through the night but lately I cannot seem to sleep through the day and naps and I used to be very good friends indeed

but not no more

my mind is constantly racing with things to do

like packing my bag for the hospital (which is practically done other than the last minute stuff that I use every day)

or cleaning out that hallway closet with all the "junk" in it, cuz who knows when I will ever get to that once baby is here

or should I bake some cookies, that would kill a half hour and hello cookie dough!

or there is always my dogs looking at me all sad and depressed like "hello, pay attention to me, take me for a walk, something, anything??" when was the last time I paid them attention?

then there is also the growing pile of pregnancy books that I have yet to read, i've got 3 or 4 on the go


yes there is tons for me to do

but I literally get tired in like 5 minutes

and I can't stand on my feet too long, because they are swollen and hurt like hell so I've been going in small little bursts of 15 minute cleaning sprees with several hour intervals in between.

i'm sick of the t.v (we too used to be best of friends), sick of the Internet (esp. crackbook which I seem to check every 5 minutes with nothing ever changing)

i'm just soooo bored

sure in 6 months I will probably look back at this and think, you freaking crazy crackwhore what the hell were you complaining about, enjoy the peace and quiet while you can! i'm on my 7th week of being home, not working with only the rare outing or two a week. a person can only take so much.

in other news I received my h1n1 vaccine on Monday so we can all breathe a sigh of relief (for now)

also I am now 4 weeks away from my due date

how freakin scary is that?!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

showered with gifts

I had my baby shower today, which was fitting because it is also pouring rain here today. I was sort of dreading this actually (meshing my family & his always stresses me) but it really wasn't that bad at all, in fact I feel all warm and fuzzy inside and well very much loved.

kind of nice really

I think my cold bitter heart grew a little bit more today..

ok, I kid I do have a heart but I couldn't help but swell up and get a little teary at times to know that a)i'm very much loved and that b)people already love my baby too

sure there could've been a few more people there, but really I don't have many friends outside of family (i'm a bit of a loner espically of late) but there was just enough to not make me freak out and have an anxiety attack, cuz I hate being the center of attention. and the best part of all was that there were cupcakes, lot's and lot's of cupcakes. I have been craving cupcakes for most of this pregnancy. When I was working I would sit and watch that show on TLC where the guy bakes cakes and cupcakes...i'm totally drawing a blank on the name...and I would literally drool over the cupcakes. well I finally got me some today. in fact I've lost count as to how many I have eaten, I might actually have eaten one too many but omg they were sooooo good and so worth the wait. I may sneak one more before bedtime....

also the presents

who doesn't love presents?

they were all so pretty and damn my little girl is going to be sporting some pretty fancy duds let me tell you. we did VERY well. other than the odd one or two things with pooh on them (I despise Winnie the Pooh, i'm not sure why exactly or where the hate comes from but I cannot stand pooh...) everything was perfect. I couldn't have asked for nicer stuff or a better day.

I haven't felt this good in a long time


it could be all the sugar from the cupcakes...

just sayin


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

fly on the wall

nothing fits me anymore, i'm freakin HUGE and i'm so sick of wearing the same maternity clothes, day in and day out. the other night I was to tired and wore a t-shirt that I could wear two months ago with my pj's and honestly it was a belly shirt gone horribly wrong. the hubs took one look at me and laughed. that BAD but I didn't change because i'm to the point that I just don't care anymore. I never thought I would get to that point either but i'm totally there.

I had an ultra sound done yesterday to see how the baby is growing due to the medication that I am on for my SVT it can cause the baby to not grow so they had to be sure she's "ok", well I could tell them that she is, as I stated above i'm huge and all along i've been measuring a couple of weeks ahead of what I should be or the "normal". well guess what, she's at about 7 pounds already and I still have 5 weeks to go! the ultrasound tech was all smug like "guess you won't be needing much for newborn stuff" and "I am betting on about 9 pounds". I wanted to take that little wand thingy that they rub on your belly and wack him in the head.

insensitive ass

on a side note from what i've googled, they can typically be two pounds off, so i'm hoping to god she's really only 5 pounds in there...

I thought I was waddling before, well, that was nothing compared to now. I feel like the baby is going to fall right out of my vagina at any moment. imagine walking around like that, go ahead try (for those of you who have been pregnant before i'm sure you know what I am talking about) try it, I bet you CAN'T!

and my feet, omg my feet I can't stand on them for longer than 5 minutes at a time without them hurting and screaming at me "GET OFF! GET OFF OF ME NOW YOU HEAVY COW!"

I have a crush on Justin Bieber

yeah, sad I know but he's so gosh darn cute...

i'm so going to jail or hell

i'll just blame it on hormones

another guilty pleasure is the t.v. show the Vampire Diaries, I was really expecting this show to be so cheesy and a Twilight rip off, but it's actually not that bad. ok, no it is sort of bad really, maybe that's why I watch? I dunno but I can't get enough. and the evil vampire brother totally steals the show

can you believe that October is almost over!?

where the hell has that gone?

i'm starting to wig out, like really, me a mom


I really don't think i'm ready for this life curve ball, you get so cushy and comfy in your normal every day routine and that's all going to change. I think my main problem is that I just can't invision what life will be like once she is here, sure I know it's going to be plain hell for the first 6 weeks, no sleep, diaper changes, feedings, no time for me what gets me is the "joy", "love" everyone talks about that they instantly feel once there child is born. what if I don't have this? what if I look at her and think "it's so not worth it"?? what if I don't love her right away? what if I think she is ugly??

these are the thoughts that keep me awake at night, along with the annual nightly kickings and moving arounds

Thursday, October 15, 2009

what's your bet?

honestly, I feel like a frickin race horse or something..

everyone is placing bids as to when I am going to have this kid

my "actual" due date is November 24th

I'll know more after today as I have another pre-natal apponitment as to whether or not they are talking induction so that will screw this all to hell, or I can keep it a secret and not tell when that will be.

the hubs thinks that I won't last through October and is claiming it's going to be a Halloween baby

my mom is saying I'll go early too, but I can't remember what she or even if she picked a date, but early November anyways.

so what do you think?

Monday, October 12, 2009

the wicked witch is dead!

you may or may not recall that the hubs and I had purchased my grandmother's property (which is adjacent to ours) last year (sure I could be all cool and put a link up, but I don't roll like that) and to be honest I thought we would be stuck with it forever, especially after the last people screwed us over royally. but as of October 9th, it's not ours anymore!!

it's gone


done and good riddance!

a Dutch family of 5 (who has 5 kids now-a-days?!) actually bought and paid for it, and were extremely happy and excited to buy/move in. frankly, I thought it was a hovel myself but with some hard work and $$ that the hubs and I do not have it could be a good house again. I haven't written anything here about it cuz I didn't want to jinx it but now that they have signed the paper work and actually moved in, I sort of can't really believe it. sure it's going to be sort of shitty having neighbors again, but it's such a huge relief and such a weight/stress has been lifted from my shoulders

in other news

I've been having frequent braxton hicks or at least I hope to god it's braxton hicks, it's too early for her to come yet (I'M NOT READY!) yesterday was the worst yet, very crampy with sharp pains and then I also had diarrhea, not cool, especially when it's Thanksgiving and you are visiting family and ingesting not one, but TWO turkey dinners within 2 hrs of each other


I have such a rough life, I tell ya

over and out for now I lost my energy burst

*UPDATE* so I did go to the hospital yesterday just to be sure (at my mother's persistence) and it IS Braxton Hicks (which I so knew it was) but still it was scary being hooked up onto the stress test and worrying that I was in early labour, thankfully i'm not (yet) but the Dr. told me to take it easy and try my best to get to 36 weeks cuz she CANNOT come out before then. so i'm sitting here with a dirty house trying very hard to restrain myself from vacuuming the floor which scary as it sounds is VERY hard for me but so not worth the consequences

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Glee - Single Ladies (Football Team Dance) 09/23/09

I've been meaning to post this for awhile (well @ least since it was first aired which was a couple of weeks ago). I laughed so hard I was crying, and then I think I peed a little but that's just cuz I pee ALL the time and sometimes I just can't control it (it's entirely the babies fault)


I am LOVING everything about this show. its so off the wall, out of the blue funny and DIFFERENT. sure a lot of it wouldn't happen in real life (like what guy would be so dumb to think you can get a girl pregnant without even having sex??) but I think that is just part of Glee's appeal, you get away from your "norm" for an hour of entertainment.

my fav's or better yet the people that make the show are the cheerleading coach, the principal and, Kurt (I hate to refer to him as the gay guy, that sounds so crude, so he's the Kicker above) and oh yeah let's not forget the hottie with the mohawk.

if you aren't watching this show YOU need to be, trust me

Monday, October 05, 2009