Thursday, July 28, 2005


off to the island we ago. i'm so excited i cannot contain myself!!!

only 2 more hrs of work and i'm off to blissfull P.E.I. for four nights and five days!!!! heaven.

let's hope that the weather co-operates.

can't wait to see jilly & "M" to go to sandspit to go on the go-karts & one final trip to Rainbow Valley (even though we have no kids). sad to see this place go as we always wen't there when i was a little kid.

and the most important factor..........

the BEACH! omg. how i love the sand, the ocean, waves.............


cannot stand to wait any longer must go now!!! he he

take care pps i'm sure i'll have lot's of stories to tell when we get back!

i'm out

Sunday, July 24, 2005


i'm 24 years old (soon to be 25 in 3 weeks) and last night i did my first shot of Tequila. not the creames like baha rosa or whatever but the actual tequila where you lick the salt, take the shot and eat the lemon ~ shudders~

i always wanted to but was kinda scared and intimated as everyone always says how horrible it is and well quite frankly it tastes like dirty ass/dirty feet but the feeling of acomplishment and the rush of warmth to your stomache is just such a rush! anyways i just had to blog about it as it's a 1st time for something and i want to remember it & it was just funny the way it happend as jill had done one at the B&G and I said that i had never done one and Greg the owner of the bar was like really? and i was like yeah and he just couldn't belive it and so then everyone was like oh you have to try it and peer pressure and all and finally he was like i'll give it to you on the house. i think he just wanted to see me puke but anyways i did it and i didn't puke!! ha ha! yeah, that's my story. pretty lame. oh weel had to blog about something.

nobody is blogging lately. where the hell did everyone go? summer. that's where. everyone is outside, vacationing, at the lake, where ever and really i can't blame them. the summer is already half over & then some and the warm weather will probably only be here for mabye another month (cross our fingers) so get out there and enjoy it! but can't you blog at least once and awhile................geesh!

so i'm getting a little better about the whole cat thing. the first few days were really bad and i thought i kept seeing him everywhere. v. hard and difficult to deal with and it didn't help to see my other cat missing him to. it's still pretty raw and it hurts to think that i won't see him or hear his meow again but it's getting better. life moves on. the bitter endless cycle of life.

i get a break though this week as i asked for friday off as we new brunwickers have "new brunswick day" on August 1st hence a provincial holiday. so long weekend! yippe! hubby and i are planning to go to the island (prince edward island) to go camping and lounge on the beach for 4 days. cannot wait as we have not been there in four years. so anxious to hear the ocean & just relax and read good books on the beach. were going to be meeting up with jilly & "M" as they will be over there also. hoping the weather will be nice and sunny.

anyways i'm out for now :)

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Fare thee well Mr. Jynks

my baby kitty cat jynky has passed into another life and my heart is breaking. i'm so angry at myself as i knew the inevitible would happen and as fate would have it, it has.

last night a car hit my baby and left him at the end of our driveway. i should be greatful that he at least was un-marked and looked like himself but i just can't get over the fact that he's gone. i miss him terribly.

i miss his bushey little tail swishing when he walked, i miss the way that he would meow and talk to me, i miss the way that we would cuddle and snuggle in bed and how he loved me to rub his little white feet.

it's so weird because yesterday he was in pretty much all day and we had such a good "bonding" day. he rarely would snuggle with me lately as he was always outside and yet yesterday he did. i just wish that i could go back and not let him out. i can't belive i'm this up set just over a frickin cat but he was my cat, my baby and he would have been two in another month and i can't belive how badly this hurts. i can't stop crying and yet i'm so godamn angry at the same time.

i'm angry at jynky for not knowing better to get off the damn road, i'm angry at the person that hit him, i'm angry at hubby for letting him outside in the first place, i'm angry that it couldn't have been my other cat (as awful as it is to say, but it's true). i'm hoping that it will help to get all of this out cause i'm really not handling the whole greiving thing very well. everywhere i look i see him or want to see him sooo badly. and my other cat i think realizes that something is amiss and he's constantly howling looking for jynky.

i want to vomit,

i want to punch something,

i want to curl up in a ball and cry,

i want to laugh at the pure stupidity of all of this,

but most of all i want my baby kitty back

rest in peace jynky, mommy loves you

Friday, July 15, 2005

one who slays birds

if i were a native american this would be my spirtual name assigned/given to me at birth. because i'm certain that the gods above damned me at birth to kill poor little helpless birds. and no i don't mean any offense to anyone that is native american.

this morning whilst driving to work singing to Gwen Stefani's song "cool" this little sparrow (i think) flew right into my on-coming piece of shit car in a nice little THUMP. i look behind me to see where it landed on the road only to note to myself that it has not been flung dead to the road leaving me only to suspect that it is stuck to the front of my car. EWWWW. continuing on my way (still singing) i seem to forget all about hitting this little creature, funny how easy the mind likes to erase things. i arrive at work thinking to myself only 8 more hours to go, please god get me through this day quickly and painlessly only to get out and sure enough this dad bird is stuck on the front of my car. by now my mind is racing and sreaming OH MY GOD I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH IT but yet at the same time my hand is reaching out ever so slowly to pull it's little wing free from the hood of my car...................


i fling the little thing across our parking lot in a shudder, straighten up and go in to work like nothing happend at all. only now as i sit here typing this am i recalling what happend this morning. how could i possibly blank out the trauma from this?? v. weird.

sadly my friends this is not the only time this has occured to me. there was this one time with my mom (who was driving) that a sea gull practicly came through the windshield, and another time where i hit a crow...........this is so wrong and it keeps happening to me. i tell you i'm CURSED!!

dun dun dun

in other exciting news besides my bird trauma......

I PASSED! yes, i passed my stupid commisioner of oaths test for work, thank you sweet jesus! a ton of bricks has been removed from my back.

piece of shit car is up & running again but sadly is still not totally repaired, also had to replace a shock on hubbies truck but luckily that was covered under warranty. phew!

growing ever more excited about the stones concert in september. CAN'T WAIT! i will actually have 4 days off in a row. OH MY GOD. my body will probably go into shock.

we are in for a beautiful sunny warm weekend. hoping to spend most of it by mom & dad's pool.

i'm out

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

holy mofo

i don't know if it's the heat or if i'm just simply a bitch but lately things seem to be not so going my way and totally rubbing me the wrong way.


piece of shit car. it's never ending, repairs, repairs, repairs $ $ $. nough said

i need to study for this thing that i need to do for work and do you think i can make myself. hell no. but yet at the same time i'm stressing my brain out fretting about this freaking TEST! I hated school and tests!!!!! I could never study, EVER like i'm going to now. stupid, stupid, stupid that's me.

wen't to have my hair cut & highlighted tonight only to discover that my hairdresser only booked me for a cut. no highlights, which I am in desperate, desperate need of as my roots are well over an inch long now. found out that she won't be able to get me in again until 3 frickin weeks! how am i supposed to go this long i ask? guess i'll just have to look like a complete total dork for the next month. GREAT

where my piece of shit car is down and out for the count right now i have been driving hubbies big ass tank of a truck to work, only to suffer several jokes from fellow co-workers and lots of stares while driving. i feel like i'm driving a tank for godsakes it doesn't help to have pps stare. the only bonus to this situation is that the truck has air conditioning.

not only is piece of shit care costing us lot's of $ but we had to replace the battery in the truck last we needed this also

got suckered to go wheelin & fishing (which i sooooo did not want to do) on sunday. hubby whined and dined and got his way. i did enjoy myself (minus the allergies, grass & pollen is just brutal!) to some extent but i would have much rather loungd by the pool all afternoon gossiping with jilly but sadly no. instead i fried my frickin shoulder & neck on one side (yeah i really look like a freak with dark brown roots & one side all red! ha ha) which hurts like a son of a bitch and to make matters worse while driving my "tank" to work the seat belt rubs and chafes my neck all to hell which makes it hurt a lot worse.

i so didn't know how to spell chafe and i so just looked it up in the dictionary. god i'm a loser.

had an old fart in a beat up pick up pull right out in front of me this morning and i so wanted to run into him and run him off the road. is this normal? i think i need therapy.

really disgusted lately as this is my third summer in a row that I am unable to take any vacation/time off of work. so not fair and all this nice weather lately is not helping matters. i should be truly grateful that i have a good job and all but man being a new employee sucks ass.

finally weighted myself the other night and i'm not even going there right now...............

i think i'm either:

a) ready to explode from all my anger/tension
b) ready to be commited to a looney bin
c) withdraw from my mind and become comotose
d) severally hurt someone else
e) all of the above

take your pick