Monday, January 31, 2005

a few realizations about myself

This past weekend was a typical regular weekend for me but I had a few "realizations" pointed out by hubby as well as some deep thinking about myself, mabye I was too bored or mabye i'm going thru a kind of 20's mid life crisis....i dunno but i'm not really liking what I have discovered.

I'm lazy ~ i've always known this down on a deeper level but it's fully dawning on me now how lazy I am. When the weekend comes along I don't feel like doing shit, no house work, no laundry, no nothing. I do try to muster a little bit of energy to try to do a little but I don't get very far. This past weekend I did do a couple loads of laundry and some dishes that's about it....sad very sad.

I'm a napper ~ my husband pointed this one out to me yesterday and I was not impressed, in fact he really pissed me off, but the more I thought about it the more it bugged me. I am the type of person that I can't sleep in on a good day so I get up early, do a few things, watch t.v. whatever and then I want to go back to bed around 11:00 or later in the day. I enjoy just dozing or even just curling up under the blankets and this really annoys my hubby. Yesterday was probably the first semi warm winter day that we have had in weeks and he wanted me to go outside and do something fun and wintery, but I wanted nothing of it. I was curled up with a good book and I really didn't want to go out. So we argued and so forth and then he said "I've seen the future and I don't like it". WTF?? What's that supposed to mean? He then called me my mother (which was quite a blow) and continued to hound me until I finally said i'm not going out now leave me alone. So he finally left, and there I lie thinking how lazy can I possibly be, and mabye I shouldn't be sleeping in the afternoon but it feels so nice and cozy and the next thing I know i'm out and I don't come to until after 5:00 pm.

I'm a snacker ~ most days I do alright at least thru the week I do anyways but when the weekend hits watch out. I munch and munch and then munch some more. I can't seem to find anything that satisfies my hunger and then I look in the mirror and I hate myself. I hate the way my body feels, I hate the way I look and I swear myself off of food and then 2 hrs later i'm snacking again ~ which hubby points out yet again and i'm not happy all over again. Endless cycle

I'm a whiner ~ I constantly whine and complain about something or other. Usually it's about my headaches, stomache aches, muscle aches ~ whatever ~ I whine about it. The worst part about this is I know I do it but yet I continue on and on. Why?? Don't understand this one.

I'm paranoid ~ I'm paranoid about my job, i'm paronoid about people talking about me behind my back, I often wonder what people think of me. I shouldn't really give a crap about this stuff but I do and it runs through my mind at least half a dozen times a day. I'll be going along good all happy and la de da and BAM a negative paranoid thought pops into my head and ruins my day all to hell.

I'm a crab ASS ~ After going from happy to hell i'm generally in a pissy mood most of the time. My new nickname for myself is "Crabby Abby" and i've even told my mother that she has named me the wrong name I should have been an Abby, not that I like the name but it fits. So pretty much most of the time i'm crabby and irritable and I really don't know how my husband can stand living with me on a good day let alone a bad one, so I realize how much the man must love me or mabye he's just to scared to say that he doesn't cause I would seriousily lay some serious hurt on the poor boy.

I'm off track as I lost my train of thinking I keep getting interupted and forgetting what I was getting at. So I may as well call it quits here even though i'm sure I can think of some more things about myself. I guess I really haven't been liking myself lately and this needs to change, and i'm not really sure how to go about it. I feel like i'm on the verge of something and I just don't know what it is. I hate getting older and I hate being an adult and trying to figure and make everything sucks....and to top it all off it's Monday, oh how I hate mondays.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Usher vs Justin

In case you have been living under a rock the last 2 or 3 years you may not know who I mean. These two guys have been at the top of the r/b and pop world, Justin first in 2002/2003 and Usher in 2003/2004. Both are talented, sexy, won tons of awards and are now pursing acting careers and they have often been compared to each other. So whose the better of the two?? In my opinion I personally prefer Justin. Here's my breakdown of why.

Usher - He's been in music business since he was like 13 years old, he has always been marketed towards women and yes I will admit he's hot, but I don't like his attitude/cockiness. He often makes me think that he's the next best thing since Jesus and this totally turns me off of him.

Justin - Has also been in the music business a long time, first with the Mickey Mouse Club, then with N'sync and now in his solo career. Most of his fans are women and he has been marketed but you don't get the same attitude from him. He seems like he's genuinely a nice guy, someone that you could just walk up to and he's not going to give you attitude "like i'm a celebrity" and all that, course I could be way off here but I don't think so

Usher - The man can move, i'll give him that. But lately, espically his latest video they are basing everything on his dancing. Not liking it and found that video for "caught up" very lame and cheesey. Everything he does is some kinda dance move, just weird & i'm not digging the whole 20's thing with him, I love that time period and i'm just not feelin it ~ sorry. His mentor for dancing and singing is of course the one and only wacko jacko aka Michael Jackson who Justin also takes after.

Justin - He struts his stuff and I wish I could be in his "Rock your Body" video dancin it up with him. White man can dance and he proves it here.

Usher - His album Confessions is basically all about his breakup (at least I think it is I don't care what he may say) with Chilli from TLC. He totally cheated on her with other women and this is a HUGE mark against him for move as I love TLC and Chilli and by doing her wrong he did me wrong.

Justin - His album Justified is about his breakup with the one and only Britney Spears, she cheated on him and "cry me a river" came straight from the heart and I felt sorry and hurt for him. I still belive that these two are ment to be together and i'm really not liking that he is with Cameron Diaz right now but he can do no wrong in my eyes

Usher - His "bling bling". Ok we know you have tons and tons of money but do you really need to flaunt it in our faces. His big diamond "U" makes me wanna puke when I think of what else could have been done with that money. Please don't flaunt that you have money, this is another big turn off for me

Justin - He may have a few big gaudy watches but really he doesn't do much flauting for "bling bling" not sure why really cause i'm sure he's got it or mabye he just doesn't like flashy things but this is just another of his down to earth qualities that I love

That's really all I can think of for now and it's plainly obivious that I love and adore Justin and I am hoping that he is secertly working on a new fab album that will be coming out this year. Chances are that he's not as he is working on a movie right now but one can only hope. I'm secretly hoping as well that Usher won't clean house at the grammy's but i'm sure he will, he does deserve some credit but I really think that he's over hyped, i'm a fan but i'm not a rabid fan like I am for JT.

That's it for now, another Friday almost done yet again and i'm looking forward to a nice quiet weekend at home.

Ta ta for now ~ peace ~


Thursday, January 27, 2005

Just a joke

*Please note that I have nothing against people from Newfoundland, and I mean no harm by this joke (i'm sure they are used to this anyways) I just liked this and I thought what the heck i'll post it on my blog and share the laughter ~ enjoy ~

A newfie went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by a game warden who didn't like newfies.

The game warden ordered the newfie to show his hunting license, and the newfie pulled out a valid Ontario hunting license. The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, "This duck ain't from Ontario. This is a Quebec duck. You got a Quebec huntin' license, boy?"

The newfie reached into his wallet and produced a Quebec hunting license. The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said "This ain't no Quebec duck. This duck's from Manitoba. You got a Manitoba license?" The newfie reached into his wallet and produced a Manitoba hunting license.

The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said, "This ain't no Manitoba duck. This here duck's from Nova Scotia. You got a Nova Scotia huntin' license?" Again the newfie reached into his wallet and brought out a Nova Scotia hunting license.

The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the newfie "Just where the hell are you from?"

The newfie turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, "You tell me, you're the expert."

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat I Love you

I've never really talked about my two adorable, loveable kitty cats on here so I figured today is a good day to start & I have an interesting/funny (at least I think so) story to tell about them but first i'll give some details on my two babies. I only wish that I had a digital camera so that I could download pics and post them here......oh well mabye someday in the near future.

My first baby that I got was jynx, just before my birthday a year and a half ago. He goes by several versions of jynx, my particular favorite is Mr. Jynx or just jynxy which is what I call him most of the time. He is an attractive lad I must say but he's not all to bright in the brain department but he was my first baby and I love him. He's so furry and cuddly and he's like my own personal live teddy bear. Plus everytime he wants to cuddle he curls right up on my chest and purrs and I just love my jynxy.

My second baby happend by chance and I really wasn't looking to obtain another cat so soon after I just got a little kitty but my husband found this poor roughed up cat at our camp (which is now just down the road from our house, but anyways) he comes home one night from the camp and he's like guess what I found a camp cat, we can keep her at the camp to keep mice out of the camp and he was all excited. And all in one sentence he adds that he heard an owl in the area as well and the owl would probably eat the cat over then night and he wouldn't end up with a camp cat afterall. So once he states this fact I am like there is no way you are leaving a poor innocent cat out in the woods to be eaten by an owl. So off we go to get this cat who at first we thought was a female but then it grew some round little balls on it's backside and turns out that it's a male. We wen't for like 2 weeks without naming the poor thing but we finally tagged him just as Charlie Cat or Charlie. I never really bonded with Charlie but he has since really become my cat and he's very sleek and slender and he's definetely the smarter of the two. He may not be as cute and cuddly as jynxy but I still love him.

Now when we moved into our lovely/beautiful new home back in August of last year my cats were strictly in door cats, except for the odd day when my husband would let them lose at our old house they were never outside. I didn't want them out doors but my husband insisted & started putting them out and off they wen't, I didn't see a lot of them and I was beginning to miss them and it felt like I didn't even have cats ~ sob~. But now thanks to all this extremely cold and yucky winter weather I have cats again!!! Yipee!! The only thing was they had worms, which is totally sick and disgusting. Every day Charlie would have a little white wormy hanging off his bum and it was just so GROSS. Even worse the procrastinator that I am kept putting off getting their worm medicine/worm pills. This wen't on for well over a month of me running behind my cat with a kleenax picking worms off of his ass, so not fun let me tell you. Anyways I FINALLY wen't and got the worm pills on Monday now I just had the challenge of giving the pills (one this month & one again next) to them. DUN DUN DUN

I wasn't looking forward to cramming a pill down my cats throat but when I got home that night I just wanted it done & over with so I got my hubby to help by wrapping the cat up in a towel while I buttered up the pill and got it ready. We figured we would do Charlie first as he is the smarter of the two and if he watched us do jynxy there would be no way we would ever get the pill in him & he's the one who had the worms on his ass.....anyways we do him no problem slick as pie and onto poor mr.jynx. oh the trama. first of all we couldn't get him to stay and wrap him in a towel, then my hubby couldn't keep ahold of him and we could not get his mouth to open all I could see were his little teeth which quite honestly creeped me the hell out and still does now that I think back ~shudders~. Anyways we kept popping the pill in and he'd spit it right back out at us and get caught in his long hair of his, it was quite the ordeal well into at least 5 min when we finally got it into the poor bugger. He was not impressed and he stayed in the basement the rest of the evening. So now at least I don't have to worry about worms again at least until spring anyways when they start going back outside and killing moles, mice and god knows what else.

So that's my blog about my kitties ~ another one bites the dust. Until another day

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Loves it/Hates it

some things that I love and hate

Love - Gwen Stefani's Love Angel Music Baby CD, I LOVE every single song on this CD except mabye one, but it totally rocks and it's so different from anything else out there that you can't help but sing along with it. My particular favorite is the song that's sort of like a cheerleader chant and they get singing that "the shit is bananna B.A.N.A.N.A.S" (spelled out) and no I can't think of the name of the song but anyways it's so off the wall I am diggin it. Definetely check this one out.

Hate - Good Charlote or Simple Plan - words cannot express my dislike for these bands, they are so cheesey and fake and I can't stand there music or their music videos. They could not be any further from grunge/alternative rock and they are trying so hard to be like Green Day it makes me want to vomit. There's no comparision, get over it and stop playing there damn retarded songs on the radio. Why people like these guys???? I do not know and I don't get it but they are well over done and they need to go away like now.

Love - I'm really into everything pink right now, which is weird for me because like 2 years ago I hated pink and I would not be caught dead in it but's a whole new world for me and I'm in pink heaven! Pink shoes, pink purses, pink name it I want it or I already have it.

Hate - I really hate the pants I have on today, I have had them for probably my entire career as an "administrative assistant" which is about 31/2 years and i'm not exactly the same size I was at that time, so they are too tight, I hate the cut of the pants and they ride up past my belly button (which I REALLY hate in any kind of pant). So now i'm sitting here just itching (quite litterally too) to get home and get these mofo's off and into some pj's. I sooooo need to go shopping for new pants but i'm poor and it's not going to happen anytime soon, espically if I may be without a job in 2wks or a month, so i'm screwed and I have to wear these "CUTE" pants, and yes I am being sarcastic.

Love - The new show the "Medium" with Patricia Arquette. I am into anything about ghosts, psychic's, parnormal, etc and this show falls right into that category. She's a full time mom, who has known that she can detect things about people and she just knows things, and basically it started with her admitting to her self & her employer that she has psychic power/abilities. So now she works in a DA office and helps them solve crimes and all that good stuff, overall it's a good show and i'm into it. Anything over reality t.v. right now.

Hate - Reality T.V. Now I used to be a HUGE reality T.V. addict but lately these shows are just getting nasty. Have you seen or heard about the show called "Whose your Daddy" I forget what network was going to run this (probably FOX, if you ask me) but anyways the show was based on this girl who had been adopted and she was supposed to try and pick her dad out of like a group of twenty men. Hello???? Do you people not have any frickin morales or decencey. First of all I would not allow people into my private life like that let alone having it all documented for T.V. just wrong and it's a new low and it's a surefire sign for me that reality t.v. just needs to be laid to rest (except for mabye the Amazing race, that's the only good one left....)

Loves it - going to the gym (which is a local CURVES chain), and no I don't love doing the workout but I love going and making fun of some of the other women on the circuit. I always tee hee to myself and sometimes I even want to break out in hysterical laughter. This is so wrong on many levels but I totally find it amusing. For instance there is this one lady whom I happen to know as she lives just up and over the hill from me her name is "Bertha" that's funny enough in it's own right but this women does some pretty weird/funky things on her block in between machines. She usually starts out pretty mild, doing some basic stepping/jogging but then she breaks into her little tap dance shuffle, then she starts flailing her arms around and then she breaks right out and starts doing scissor kicks while touching her toes, by this point I am dying inside and I am finding it extremely difficult to keep a stright face. This probably isn't doing her justice I guess you would have to see her to fully appreciate this but I get such a laugh and high off of this that I love it!

Hate it - When I go to the gym and lo and behold they are playing their Christian music. Now i'm not an anti-christian or against religion or anything but then again i'm not a very religious person, but when I go to the gym wanting to work out and work hard and lose the 10 pounds off my ass I sure as hell don't want to be working out to "Our God is an awsome god" with a hundred and ten beats a minute. It's just wrong and I wish they would burn/break the stupid CD.

Loves it - McDonald's Quarter pounder combo. I have been sooooo addicted to McDonald's the last few months it's scary and it's no wonder I have put on 10 pounds and my pants are tight. But everytime I drive out by that place or i'm anywhere's near it I get that wiff of grease and i'm drooling and no sooner do I look but i've gone through the drive thru and i'm scarfing it down. I even know what day each McDeal is and you bet your fur I know when it's Quarter pounder day....every Thursday I feel the pull only this week I am vowing to myself no more :( So now I can just dream and think of the wonderful taste of grease melting in my mouth

Hates it - I hate what all this bad food does to your body. Must be gods form of punishment or something but its just wrong. We should be able to eat what we want, when we want but it doesn't work this way. When I eat french fries I may as well be applying them directly to my lower abs, ass and thighs. Like any other typical women this is my problem area and I hate it and no matter how hard i try not to snack, eat out, whatever it still remains there. Just evil and I hate even typing about it. My weight is constantly on my mind and I know it's crazy and it's all because of the media and stupid models. I shouldn't give a rats ass, but I do because I can feel the fat rolls there and they need to go

Loves it - Sarah Jessica Parker's GAP commercials. I don't really know why for sure but I get great amusement and enjoyment out of these. Whoever came up with the concept/layout colours whatever they are doing there job and deserve a raise. It doesn't come across as another celeb who has sold out for a big paycheck and it's just a fun carefree commercial for GAP.

Hates it - When Celebs/singers sell out to big corporate companies aghhmmm Destiny's Child, Ashanti and it's soooooo plainly obvious as there song is blaring in the background of the commercial. This really ticks me off and irritates me this is also part of the reason why I am now trying (very hard I might add) to boycot McDonald's. Don't sell out pps it's not worth it, well mabye it might be but really you are hurting yourself in the long run.

That's about all I can sum up right now & I need to get my ass back into my work. Take care all & see you another day!!

Monday, January 24, 2005

Monday, Monday

Oh how I hate Mondays, let alone trying to get my ass into work, into the gym, into the weekly routine that is my week. Sigh ~ does life ever get any better? Or does it just seem to float along on the same wheel week after week. I often feel like a guinea pig running on their wheel in their cage, just running and running and not getting anywhere's. This seems to be my life at the moment. Work is just going and i'm sitting on nerves end anxiousily awaiting the day when my supervisor takes me aside and says "oh by the way your no longer needed here and you'll be done in 2 weeks" so i'm a bloody nervous wreck everytime she comes near me. My love life is "ok" on most days but lately we haven't been commuicating and were arguing most times about a "baby" or "money" and our latest battle has been about his fam dam.

My husband's grandparents both passed away last year (his grandmother only a month ago) and his entire family is just like a bunch of sharks swarming in the water. I will spare you all the details & i'm not 100% comfortable spilling all that here and I really don't want him yelling at me about this too so i'll give you the PG version. Anyways, his grandparents were well off for our little community, they started up their own business and did very well and this business is still up & running today only not in Meductic. So not only did they have money but they have tons of nice, expensive things. Now my hubby really didn't/doesn't care what happens to most of the stuff and thank god is all i can say because i want nothing to do with it either. But it just so happens that one of the things that his grandfather promissed him and was supposed to be his has been snatched up right under his nose and he's shit out of luck. Now, I have never really seen my husband fully mad and let me tell you friday night I thought I had the Hulk in my house. He was FURIOUS and he was cursing (which he never does, I do that enough for both of us....), yelling, wanting to punch something (thankfully not me, that's really not that funny but it kinda was at the time I started writing it) and I just didn't know what to say to him. I think he was more hurt that this person went against his grandfather's wishes and he was seriousily upset and on the verge of crying until I kinda made fun of him and told him to get over it (god i'm such an evil, spiteful bitch aren't i??). So i'm still currently living with the Hulk as he's still majorly pissed and in a pissey mood and I still don't know what to say to him. So that was pretty much my weekend, doesn't sound great huh.

Then on top of that all of our local weather networks, etc were calling for this HUGE mofo storm and I get all excited thinking to myself hey this is great if it storms all day Sunday & Monday morning there won't be any work........only to wake up Sunday to a few piddly flurries and some wind.....where is the snow??? I'll tell you where ~ it's all in freaking Nova Scotia you lucky BASTARDS. Well mabye not but I was a little peeved at you all this AM as I got up and got ready for work and a typical Monday morning. At least the day is pretty much over and I only have like 2 hrs to go and then my work part of Monday is leat until next week

Friday, January 21, 2005

just some random thoughts of mine

these are some things that have been running through my mind lately.....

about my whole missing pill thing....i still don't know where the fuck it went too but now i'm feeling really bad about accusing my hubby about taking it. You see I tend to have an over reactive imgination (as I watch waaayyyy to much t.v) and now i'm getting slack from my fam dam (family) and i just feel bad. So I apologize, and he's not really that big of an ass i've just gone off my rocker that's all.......

I have Lindsay Lohan's new song "Over" stuck in my head. Only to make matters worse I recently purchase her CD (not that great, but not all that bad either...) so i've been hitting repeat over, and over and over.......

I just picked a hang nail and now i'm bleeding all over my keyboard....lovely

In case you haven't already noticed i have a messed up/fucked up sense of humour

I often will talk out loud to myself and i think I am starting to scare my co-workers

My family is a lot like the "Griswald's", you know like the movie from back in the 80's ~ Chevy Chase, the weird cousin.....anyways, we recently all got together for my aunt's b-day and we were all piled in the van (7 of us) only to meet up with another 2 family members. The poor guy at the restaurant didn't know what the hell to make of all of us.

I so need to get my eyebrows waxed or plucked as they are super bushey and they are really starting to gross me out, I just can never get the patience or neve up to do them myself

WTF is up with American Idol this year they are just showing all the bad people who can't sing, and it's just embarssing. As soon as they hear that the person cannot sing they should just speak up and say "ok that's enough" and no you don't get a ticket. Instead they are dragging this out and showing mabye 1 or 2 good people. This is irritating the shit out of me and i'm refusing to watch it until they get to the next stage.

I'm pissed off at work today, i'm left out again today as all the "ADMIN" staff are in a metting to discuss issues etc. concering our merger of 2 departments. So I get left out & left behind to deal with clients from both departments who walk in or call in and the phone has been none stop, needless to say i'm NOT happy and i'm not impressed. I'm getting sick of being used as I am trained for both dept's where i'm "casual" and if debbie was left behind with all this shit it just WOULDN'T happen. I need to start sticking up for myself.....starting now!

I seem to be in my own little world lately, not sure what's going on mabye I need to go back on my medication for my anxiety. This could be why i forgot my pill.... as I seam to be forgetting a lot of things lately and people will tell me something and I will totally not be listening. Mabye I have ADD

I am Frickin FROZEN today it's like minus 35 below with the wind chill and i'm not looking forward to getting groceries and loading up the car.

This post has taken me almost an hour to type as I am constantly being interupted by the phone or by client's, mabye that's a sign that i've typed enough for today.....

Anyways, take care all have a GREAT weekend, and thank god, Thank GOD it's Friday as I don't think I can possibly take any more. Only half a day to go ~ WHOOOO HOOOOOO

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

10 Things that I have done today

I'm steeling this idea from another blog by Kiss Me i'm Italian whose blog is appropreately 10thingsIdidtoday (at least along that lines anyways) and you can type in & go to his site cause I don't know how to set up a link from here....sorry all you lazy bums!

Anyways here goes........

1.) I threw a "Heather" tantrum first thing this morning when I couldn't get my car un-plugged. You see it's sooooo damn cold here right now that I have to plug my car in every night just so my car won't freeze up, and when I wen't to un-plug it this morning the stuipid thing was frozen (my car at least started) so I couldn't get it apart and I had forgotten to put gloves on.....and yeah, you get the picture. So I screamed and pulled really really hard and practically ripped the cord out from the inside of my car but it carme apart MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

2.) On my way to work this morning I had one of my drives where I arrive at work and I didn't remember actually driving here, I was like "hey i'm here already, but how?" Totally blanked out. Scary

3.) I've felt like telling clients to "Fuck off" all day (excuse my language pps)

4.) I've been told off by a senior client of ours. He literally wen't up one side of me and down the other, and i'm missing a big chunk off of my backside.

5.) I am sticking to my regin of going to the gym 3 days a week, so today was workout #2

6.) The only downside to #5 is that I felt that I had worked out so hard that I deserved a treat and I was soon going thru the McDonald's take out window........

7.) The phone here is totally pissing me off today, every 5 seconds the damn thing is ringing and I quite litterally am ready to throw it somewhere's or at someone. Mabye I will check with my maintenance and see if I can locate a hammer........

8.) I had a fellow co-worker tear a chunk out of me over not having the same frickin phone number, so along with chunk #1 that was ripped off of me I should now be at least 10 pounds lighter.

9.) After listening intently/carefully while co-worker bitched me out I proceeded to say "it's only a phone number and it's not really that big of a deal" only to be stared at like I had 5 heads.

10.) My supervisor wants me to track what kinda calls we get on a daily basis from our clients. I have got about as far as to a title of what my list is called.....not going so well

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

My Pill's Magic Trick

I honestly think that I am beginning to lose my freaking mind. Last week was a very hard and long week and yes I may have been a tad overtired but this is a new low for even me. You see like any 24 year old female out there i'm on the birth control pill, I am married but there is no WAY in HELL that i'm prepared or even ready to consider having a child.....anyways that's a whole other story.

So every morning I wake up, turn on my shower and take my pill. Friday morning my husband says to me "why did you take a pill out of next weeks row and why in the middle?". I think to myself wtf (what the fuck) are u talking about and sure enough I look at my pills and next Wendesday's pill is missing. And for the life of me I do not recall taking this pill I always take them in order and I don't know what the fuck happened to it. So then my mind takes to racing (and this is before Sunday nights eposode of Desperate Housewives....strange) that mabye my husband popped it out of it's package like "whoops" and it falls to the floor only to be swept away. This is totally wrong of me to think this but he's sooooo been on the baby wagon lately that I wouldn't put it entirely past him. So last night I asked him "did you take my pill" and he's like you honestly think I would do something like that? and i'm like well did you and he's like no I swear on my dead grandparents and I still don't entirely belive him!!! And then he's like well mabye the cat knocked them off???? Like that would happen, yeah the cat is eating my birth control pills through the packaging and he managed to pop it out without doing any damage to the pkg. Yeah right.

So i'm losing my mind and I must have taken 2 pills but I don't REMEMBER and it's not something that I see myself doing and I don't know where the hell it is so now i'm probably going to get pregant and yeah, just fucking great!!!!!!!!!!! Guess my hubby won't be getting any nookie this week.......he he i'm sooooo evil!!

Monday, January 17, 2005

I'm on Fire!

well not tecnically but my lips are! Have you ever seen the Asprin commercial where the lady is franticly typing away on her computer and smoke starts rising from her wrists.....anyways long story short another lady comes in and says what's wrong "becky" and becky is like "My Wrists are on Fire" just the way she says it always makes me tee hee to myself so this is me today only it's my damn chapped lips and not my wrists (yet anyways). They are on fire and i'm in desperate need of some chap stick. To make it worse I can't stop licking the stupid things. And they are really starting to burn......can't wait another half and hour to go for my lunch to buy some lip balm.

Oh boy i'm having such a crazy/hectic day today my head hasn't had time to stop until now and things are finally kinda quite. Were into our new location and i'm still not liking it a whole lot but it'll take awhile to get used to everything.

What else is new.....hmm had to come into work on Saturday to help un-pack the files that was a lotta fun (please note that there's a hint of sarcasim here), I didn't really have to but I kinda felt like I should to at least try and make a good impression. So I was here at the office from like 11-5:30 PM didn't get home until around 6 only to find out that all of my friends & hubby were over at our camp drinking & partying it up at 6:00 PM mind you. So I grabbed somethin to eat and headed over only to find pretty much everyone half in the bag already and me with nothing to drink not that I really wanted to anyways so it wasn't really that much fun until we got playing this card game called queens?? i think anyways it was pretty interesting & good just to get out & be with friends.

Well I should get back to un-packing but I really, really don't want too. Dammit I can't stop licking my lips, I think they are on the verge of bleeding now, I look totally disgusting & grose! They are flacking and peeling and ugghhh yuck I need fucking lip balm!!!

Talk later :0)

Friday, January 14, 2005

All By Myself...Don't wanna Be All By Myself

They have all left me and i'm all alone, sitting here amongest boxes and empty walls, couldn't possibly be any creapier and i'm kinda pissed that they have all upted and left me here alone. What if some wacko comes in with a gun or something and here I sit pretty much with a pen and a payment stamp only as everthing else is packed away, what the hell would I do. So considerate of them. Mabye I could attack this person with my phone....hmmm that's reassuring.

I want this move to be DONE and over with, i'm constantly being left out of everthing that "the full time staff" discusses and packs and I don't even get to put my damn name on the stuff that is going to be my work area. I'm the invisible "casual" employee and I don't matter. I swear when I got here yesterday morning I felt like blatting. If your gonna make me feel like an outsider than what the hell are you keeping me for, I feel un-wanted and un-needed and I need to get another job. Which is really hard because I have been applying and I have been looking but nothing has panned out and i'm extremely frustrated. Sigh ~ thank the lord that it is Friday and that I get to sleept in and do absoltely shit tommorrow. I was so exhausted last night that I had a little power snoooze from like 7:00 til about 8:30, at least I woke up before the O.C. came on I would have not been happy to have missed that. I adore Seth and I need the weekly fix of his humour & he's adorable and way cuter than Ryan.

Well i'm not sure what the hell i'm doing here today or what I should be doing, everthing is pretty much packed, except for the things that I am using today so I guess i'm just gonna have to play on the internet to keep myself amused. Good day to surf through other blogs purhaps. Well i'm out for now, Have a Great Weekend all and i'll see ya's soon :)


Thursday, January 13, 2005

DA Da Che ~ DA da Chum

this is a quote of sorts from one of my favorite Stephen King novels dun dun dun.....
The Dark Tower Series, I believe it's from the Drawing of the Three (Book #2 I think i'm not at home and i can't go run and look at my books....) so if i'm wrong get over it :) no just kidding I do apologize. Anyways this phrase has been running though my brain for the last 2 days and i'm not really sure why but I guess my sub-conscious must like it for some reason or another. I loved all of the novels from the Dark Tower series and i'm still having difficulty or I should say acceptance that it is finally over. I didn't really like the ending of the final book and I won't ruin it for anyone who hasn't read it yet but it's very dissapointing.

Some of my other favorites of his are:

IT - this is probably my favorite of all but it's so hard to just pick one. I love all of the chacters in this book and everytime I read it I always cry when Eddie dies. Even though the front cover with the clown on it gives me horrible nightmares and creeps me out everytime I see it I have to at least read this book once or twice a year. I even wen't so far as to go on to purchase the old TV movie that they did back in the early 90's that's how much I loved this book.

The Stand - again I LOVE this book and everyone in it. The guy with the guitar (Larry??) can't remember been awhile since I last read it is probably my favorite, over Stu even. The good versus bad thing is just really cool and the whole plague thing is tre creepy. When I first read this book it was in the winter time and everyone around me was getting sick and I was sure it was Captin Trips.

Insomnia - I first tried to read this when I was probably 16 or younger and I just could not get into the book so I gave up. Several years later (last summer) I thought well I might as well try this again....and I was instantly pulled in and I could not put it down. It also ties in with the Dark Tower series which of course I already stated I enjoy.

and last but not least:

The Talisman and The Black house - these were amazing books and I loved Jack, and wolf and they once again are connected somehow or another to the Dark Tower. I first read the talisman when I was farily young and I didn't full grasp it and then when Black house came out I read it and I could barely remember what had happened in the Talisamna so I re-read it and I got it this time around. Truly a good read and a really great story.

Well that's all for now, it's super crazy here at work, it's starting to get empty and bare and it's very werid. I'm amazed that I was even able to get here at all today to post. I'm extremely bitchy today and people are royally pissing me the fuck off, the phone keeps ringing and I'm getting the dumbest people ever coming thru the doors. GRRRRRRRR I could just fucking scream!!! but I won't ~ ha ha

Ta Ta for now ~h~

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Taping and Packing and Filing OH My!

tee hee I have done way too much work today for my own good....i've done so much filing and packing and i just can't do any more today. My eyes are quite literally burning right out of my head.....i've got this extreme sharp shooting pain in the corner of my right eye and it's now starting to hurt when I this normal??? like what the fuck is this shit!

oh boy is it time to go home yet....unfortunately NO

What to do I should be doing something so that I won't have to do it tommorrow but I couldn't give a rats ass at this moment in time.....i'm just so anxious to get home, have supper, watch some mindless TV and pass the time until LOST comes on at 9:00 ~Squeels quietly to self~ can't wait for tonight's eposide i'm sure it will be a good one.

God i'm so tired right now I can barely sit up straight in my chair & i have to pee really bad and yeah you really didn't need to know that one but i seem to be typing things as they are poping into my brain. I'll probably have sick and twisted nightmares about flying files and packing tape.....i seriousily hate packing tape the stupid piece of crap always gets all twisted and sticks to everything, then when you cut it off you can never find that start of the tape again! Oh the Frustration!!!! Why the hell am I sitting here typing about packing tape how boring and dull can that possibly be, god I have such a wonderful life.......

Tuesday, January 11, 2005


I'm not big on BIG changes, my mind cannot seem to cope with change and I don't handle it very well. My office is moving (finally) we've only been in the process of it for 11/2 years (pretty much since I was first hired on as a summer casual position to provide cover off while everyone else was on vacation). I can't belive that come this May I will have been with this department for 2 years and i'm still only a "casual", mind you I work the full time hours and get all the great benefits but i'm still a "casual".

I'm getting off track a little bit here but I need to get this off of my chest, i'm getting extremely irritated/frustrated about the whole "casual" thing. I really like my job on most days, I like all of the people I work with and overall I am happy but my happiness is being threatned or mabye i'm being over paronoid but I just have a gut feeling that my time is running short here. Stupid gov't keeps renewing my contract for another 6 months, now back in October/November my contract ran out yet again and they did renew me much to my surprize, the only stipulation was that they can only keep me as long as the position i'm covering off in stays vacant (i'm giving you the shorter version, as it gets really complicated...) I'm covering off for Debbie and Debbie is covering off for another lady named Susan and if Susan's position gets filled then Susan shifts back down to her regular position and Debbie comes back out front and i'm bummped out of the entire equation. See my stress....

They are in the process now of doing interviews for this postion that has been vacant for 2 years and i'm praying to god, please god do not fill this position or just make everything right and hire Susan to do the job and promote Deb and give me the position I want :). If only things could be this way, it would make my life soooooo much easier and happier.

OK I feel somewhat better getting that off of my chest I have been holding that in for wayyyy to long. Now back to the whole moving thing.......

Were packing, boxing up stuff, throwing old crap out and all that fun stuff but i'm really not having fun and i'm really not looking forward to moving into our new office with our fellow department. I as noted above do not deal well with change. And this new move is going to throw a whole heck of a lot of new "changes" at me in the next few weeks. So i'm dreading the move and i'm even more so dreading next week when we are finally posted at our new office. Sigh~ guess I just gotta deal with it and continue on and keep my chin up but i'm finding it very hard lately, i've been in one of my funky weird moods and I can't seem to snap outt've it. One day I may be ok and then the next I feel like blatting or beating the crap out of something and on top of the weird moods i've been sick to my stomache, headachey, etc, again this comes and goes. I don't know what the hell is up with me but i've gotta come around sometime at least i hope I do.

Not sure if anyone from my family has been here lately or not I feel like such a loser as I have had any comments posted in like FOREVER and I am hoping that were not falling out of touch already :( that would make me very sad. Anyways hope you guys are still out there and check in and leave a post dammit, so that I know what's going on with you too. Take care and i'll be back


Monday, January 10, 2005

Damn Junk Mail

This about sums up my opion of all the GD junk mail that I tend to receive on a daily basis. I hate these e-mails stating to Pls forward or send to 7 people or you will have an eternity of bad luck....well i'll take the risk thanks! Please stop the madness people do not send these damn things on and in light of this situation please read on (enjoy)

Good Bye to 2004!

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me
your chain letters over the past year. Thank you for making me feel safe,
secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern...

I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the
rat feces and urine.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked
with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually
Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid
number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica ,
Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan .

I no longer eat pre-packaged foods because the estrogens they contain will
turn me gay.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and
leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my
free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out
for me and St Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward
an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
(Jeeze, the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!)

Thanks to you I have demonstrated that I am a no good un-caring person
because I didn't forward an e-mail message within 5 seconds to 100 people.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about
to die in the hospital(for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the
$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their
special e-mail program.

Also, have no fear for my well being because I have friends in Liberia,
South Africa and Palistine who are the personal secretaries of some deceased
high official who is in charge of smuggling 150,000,000 out of their country
and will share 60% of it with me because I gave them my bank account number.

Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me! I
will now return the favor. If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at 5:00 pm this afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits. I hope I am one of those people who receive it back. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin twice removed.

Have a Happy New Year!!!! And for the love of GOD please stop sending me these stupid e-mails :)

Friday, January 07, 2005

I've got an ASS on my ass

Ok what is wrong with people today that they have to ride an innocent persons rear bumper all the way on my little journey to work (total of 25-30 min). This really pisses me off hence the title of my blog. I often refer to these stupid people as an ass regardless if it is female or male. Now i've been known to have road rage most of the time that I am driving in my car but I never, never resort to the obscene tailgating that I was bound to suffer this morning on my happy little journey into my office.

This morning was a typical New Brunswick winter morning we had snow flurries and freeznig rain over night so the roads were not that wonderful this morning but they were still slippery and when it's slippery I maintain the speed of about 80KM an hour. This stupid ASS in a half ton (they always think that they can drive thru anything because of 4 wheel drive and they are in a half ton....oh sooooo cool oh so special- NOT) road my ass for a good portion of my drive to work and there is no way in hell that i'm pulling over to get off of the road to let you by you stupid ASS!! GRRRR this really pisses me off and when the jackASS finally pulls out to go by me I silently curse the stupid bastard and hope that he runs off of the GD road, good riddance you fucking ASS!!!

Needless to say this was not a great way to start my day and to top it off i'm still not feeling well, I was out yesterday and my fucking head is still killing me. I think I must have a sinus infection as the pain consists around and in behind my eyes (I really just want to dig in and rip the mofo's out) and i have major baggage and dark circles underneath my eyes i'm not that beautiful today but i'm trying to tough it out and get today in and then hopefully get rest and re-couperate over the weekend. Sigh ~ think happy thoughts, happy thoughts.........

this is not working, mabye i'll try immersing myself in work again

ta ta for now have a great weekend


Wednesday, January 05, 2005

oh the stupidity

I've recently been pondering some of the extremely stupid, immature off the wall things that my "hubby" does. He may be four years older than me but I believe he stills likes to think of himself as a teenager or worse a child of like 3. Here's a list of some of the things that come to mind at this moment in time:

1.) when my husband gets totally hammered I mean like 3 sheets to the wind kind of drunk he gets really destrustive and devious. Some examples, this one time we were at our local beer store and they had a slushy machine by the front where you pay he reaches over and pulls all of the wires off of the back of the machine, I look at him like what the fuck and he doesn't even realize what he did or who I am. Also another time we were at our local B&G and he pulls the fire extinguisher and there's smoke all over the damn bar and no one can see shit. Yeah this is what I have to put up with. Like where the hell does this come from? My new nickname for him is Jeckyl and Hyde because if you know my husband during the day or when he's not drunk he's nothing like this and he barely says hello to anyone, so not the case when he's drunk, he's loud, mouthy, he swears (worse than me, imagine!), totally weird & so typical him.

2.) Farts, oh my god you think he would soooo be over this by no but no not my husband. He will deliberatly eat certain foods to obtain the most disgusting stench in the whole wide world. His meals of choice: tomato soup, grill cheese, salt and finger chips with ketchup, chocolate milk combine these all together through one day and it's a war zone in my home. I cannot begin to explain the smell it's so grose and reeks of tomato and it's just nasty. He loves it when they stink and he also gets great pleasure if they are loud. I've never seen anyone laugh and tee he like him when it comes to farts.

3.) He has a weird fear of phones. His mother must have done everything for him cause I can never ever get him to answer or call anyone on the phone. He'll be sitting right beside it and won't bother answering it...totally pisses me off.

4.) The man eats like a spoiled little 4-5 year old. His main source of food consists of potatoes, french fries, chicken, chiken nuggets and the occasional hamburger. He eats really bad unhealthy food and does not gain a pound, he's probably skinner and weighs less than me (at the moment that is so true and it makes me hate him a little) and like any typical little kid he loves KETCHUP and it had better be Heinz or you'll never hear the end of it. I litterally buy a huge mofo container of this stuff every week and every week it's gone that's how much he eats ketchup and I never hardly ever use the stuff. I can't get him to try anything new and he detests fruit & vegetables the only fruit I think I have ever seen him eat is an apple.

5.) Christmas - i have touched on this briefly in other posts but the man is a child for the whole month of December. I enjoy the holiday season but he takes it to a whole new level. He lights right up and gets all happy and I can't explain it but it's funny. You can't say anything against christmas and he gets totally offended. He also would totally love me forever if I someday would buy him is very own remote control car from radio shack, in fact he's even gone so far as to say that we should have kids just so he can play with all of the toys and stuff. I can just get the mental picture of a christmas morning of him and my son and it scares me to death, no wonder I don't want to have kids.....

6.) Guns and Roses (the band) - my husband is OBSESSED with this band and he vows/belives that someday axl will come back and it will be like they never left the music world. He has every CD and I bought him the Greatest Hits collection for x-mas (why I don't really know because he's been playing it non-stop). You cannot say anything bad about this band to him or he gets all defensive and mad and god forbid you talk about Velvet Revolver in front of him....that's a whole other can of worms

7.) Talking toys & toys in general (ties in with X-mas but deserves it's own section) - give him a gift certificate to radio shack or toys r us and he would be in heaven. He loves little gimmick things like remote control cars, talking homer dolls dressed up as santa (he bought this one for me for christmas but he really bought it for himself), singing fish you name it he loves it and he'll sit and laugh and laugh til no end.

8.) poop - he is fascinated about poop, I guess this should be in with the farting section but I didn't think of it til now. I mean how and why would you want to share your poop with anyone. This is so childish and so my husband that I just ignore him now when he leaves the bathroom door wide open and keeps calling me to come and "smell" his poop. Umm no I don't want to and i'm never going to want to so get over this please.

Now don't get me wrong I do love my hubby with all of my heart I just felt like making fun of him today and what's wrong with a little picking? He does it to me all the time and I had to vent out somewhere's......well mabye not here but it's a good laugh at least for me. Sorry hun just had to pick on you today :) This also proves my theory that women are the better sex and we are way more mature than men. Well that's about all for today I should try to do something productive this afternoon i'm back at the office that I hate and it has been somewhat busy but nothing really urgent or really anything to do besides the mail. At least the afternoon is going by fast though.

I'm proud of myself today as I am sticking to my new year's resolution that I need to get fit and lose weight ~ I got my 2nd day in at CURVES and I got weighed and measured (even though I really didn't want to know how much weight I had put on..) I've gained like 8-9 pounds since april 2004, the lady was like well you must have put it on slowly....uh huh yeah that's not helping thanks you can go to hell now. So here's to a new year and a new brunette me!!


Tuesday, January 04, 2005


well i'm drawing a blank today. not sure really what I want to talk about and honestly I don't even know why i'm here today. On most days I have a general idea in my head on what I want to write here. I try my best to be funny and I like to think I am but really i'm not. oh well at least i'm being me.

what's new with me ~ not a whole lot actually we had a great time on New Year's everyone got smashed except for me (told you didn't I) but I don't need to be drunk to have a good time. We stayed at our house until about 11:30 then we hit our local bar (the good ol B&G that stands for Bar and Grill) for the count down & the remainder of the evening. We didn't get back to our house until 3:30 am and then we continued to party until everyone passed out or just couldn't take anymore. I didn't come alive until after 12:00 PM the following morning I was so tired and my hubby was not feeling so well :( poor guy just doesn't know when to cut himself off. so I had to look after him most of the day saturday.

Sunday we went four wheeling with another couple and i don't know who had the bright idea but i was so cold I couldn't feel my feet or legs and I was so glad when we got back home. I'm just not cut out for the kinda stuff. Later that night I convinced mom & dad and hubby to go to the movies so we got to take in "meet the fockers" really funny and it's a good laugh I would recommend it to anyone.

that's pretty much my weekend in a nutshell i feel like crap today - think i may be getting a touch of something as I have been sick to my stomache, headachy, etc since sunday night when we got back from the movie. I keep getting the hiccups and i totally feel like i'm going to barf all over my desk. i'm hoping it will go away as I have to hang tough because tonight is my hair appointment! YIPPEE i'm still saying that i'm going to go brown guess will just have to wait and see what tommorrow may bring.

That's it for today ~h

oh before I forget I just want to say a quick CONGRATS to Jill and Mark, he finally proposed and Jilly is sporting a beautiful new diamond ring. So not only did we get to celebrate a new year but we got to have a kinda engagement party for them. To fun and way to go Mark!!! Congrats again ~ love ya both :)