my least favorite month

it's that time of year. you can feel it in the air, smell it, loathe it. that's right it's November. I never used to hate it so but as the years roll by something always happens in November to make me hate it even more.

Mabye it's because it's our last month for a long weekend (Remembrance day - Nov 11) and we don't get another break until Christmas and then Easter that stretch from Jan thru March or April is always brutal but I blame November for kicking off the string of depressing months looming ahead.

Mabye it's because my grandfather who was a vetran from the 2nd world war and lost his right leg and his brother & best friend while over there always used to work so hard and promote awareness of Remembrance Day to remember those who were lost or risked there lives for us. Our local community always holds a service remembering those who served there country and he was always so active in this and even though he has been gone for 6 years this coming January I always miss him the most this time of year

Mabye it's because one of my best friends was killed in a car crash 4 years ago on a typical wet, dreary November day. How i hate November rain. How i miss her. How i still tell myself that she is still here she's just away somewhere's, i guess this is my way to handle death as i have done it with anyone close to me. just makes it that much harder when you realize that they are gone at least from here but i take comfort in knowing that i will see them again.

Mabye it's also because this is the month that my grandmother passed away last year. It's also worse as her birthday is this month too. and again i tell myself that she is just away not letting myself greive properly. but every once and awhile it actually hits me and i stop and think and remember her, her life, her laugh, her fabulous extrodinary cooking (espically her homeade donuts) how i would always go to her house before going home (she lived right down the road from us) and sit and watch t.v. or play word scramble games just to eat whatever she had cooked up fresh that afternoon. she would often do this neat little trick where she would flip a word and spell it backwords the one that i hear her do most often in my head is IPPISSISSIM! and she would always say it so fast and i would laugh. she would often do the entire alphabet too but the mississippi one always stands out to me the most.

Mabye it's the weather, it's always cold, dreary, dark, gloomy, raining or snowing it's always unpredictable

whatever the reason November is my least favorite month

only 29 more days til December.........