FACK!

so ya'll know how i've been stressed about work

well, not anymore!

as of yesterday, I and the rest of my co-workers were laid off due to the "economy" and local competition.

yes there is more to it than that but I am not going into it all here

so

i'm

un-employed

AGAIN

that makes it now

7 (yes SEVEN) jobs that I have changed all within the past FOUR years

sonofabitch

what the hell?

i've recently discovered or noticed that my boobs are starting to kinda well "sag" and while i've never really had large breast's to begin with (ahem, B cup barely), to discover them "sagging" and pointing to underneath my arm pit is frankly very depressing...

speaking of said armpit why does the hair under my right armpit grow faster than the left side, and also, i get painful ingrown hairs on said right side which turn into these big red ugly bumps which I can't help but squeeze and pick at (with my trustee tweezers) until I find the said unwanted ingrown hair....

i've also found facial hair (which I pluck if I find one, good ole tweezers once again to the rescue!) on my chin & side of my face (sideburns!! OMG)

or how bout discovering I have wrinkles??

or better yet the fat rolls that were never there before...

i'm getting OLD!!!

give thanks

it's Thanksgiving for me this weekend

and while I normally don't reflect and give thanks (it's all about the food and having an extra day off normally), I finally get what it is all about

i'm thankful for

having both parents support and love me unconditionally

having 2 sisters who listen and give me love, advice and everything else that sisters do

having a husband who loves me even with all my faults

for having a roof over my head

that I have food to eat

that I am healthy

and lastly thanks to you my blogger friends, you've been there to read and offer me your advice as well

and for that

I say Thanks!

now it's Turkey Time!!

slippage

familar territory for me lately, i'm slipping down a slippery slope and can't seem to grasp my footing, or onto the ever elusive branch to save me from falling

i've been avoiding a lot lately, one has been blogging here, which is bad, as this is where i usually come to rant and get it all out. lately i've been penting it all in

i don't even know where it started or how it all began and i don't even know what to write here

i'm slipping

it could be the fact that i own 2 houses (who the hell has 2 houses?)

it could be the fact that I have people lined up to buy house #2 but we can't seem to work things out with the bank to process this (loooong story)

it could be the fact that I am unhappy at my job and do not make the money that I deserve or should

it could be the fact that we are in major debt (ties in with lines 1 and 2) and the economy is going all to hell

it could be the fact that my husband works away all week and is only home on the weekend and I feel like our relationship is straining and going in the wrong direction

it could be the fact that I feel terribly alone most of the time and so very helpless

it could be that i'm finally admitting to a lot of these things that i've been avoiding for months that it's all hitting me just now like a hard blow to the gut

i just want it all to go away

i hate this panicky feeling

i hate the fact that I worry so much about things I have no control over

or how the littlest things lately set me off

i feel and fear that my mind is slipping and i'm going crazy

and i don't know how to fix it