a big ole RANT FEST!

ugh! ARGH! sometimes you just have got to let it out and this one has been pent up for days

DAYS!

perhaps it is the lack of sleep (more than likely)

little miss is teething again in a big way (the two upper teeth) and is not sleeping at night too well and is a fussy pants too boot. very tiring, stressful and hard to keep my patience some days which makes me feel like a bad mother at times

or the bloatedness...

have I mentioned that I still have not had a menstrual period yet. yeah. you read it right. no red tide, monthly gift, whatever in well over a year (I don't count the messy after birth crap), turns out (after a Dr appt for me and miss) that the pill i'm on acts the same as the dreaded needle and hence no periods (which I don't believe is healthy or normal), why I never googled and researched it months ago is beyond me (oh, wait I've been busy and pre-occupied and never have time for anything!). so I have to wait another month (as I just started another month of the pill i've been on..) before I can switch to my old pill that I was on prior to pregnancy.

ugh!

and then after that same dr. appt I finally (i've been putting this off for awhile too..) wanted to get a perscription cream for lily's exzema as the over the counter stuff just wasn't clearing it up. and take a guess as to how much that little tube of cream cost?

you may say oh $20

try higher than that

add on another $80 to that $20 and while I'm no math genius that gives you 100.

ONE HUNDRED FREAKIN DOLLARS FOR A SMALL TUBE OF STEROID CREAM

un-freakin believe able and if she hadn't needed it so badly I probably would have thrown it at the cashier's face which I really wanted to do anyways as I had to wait an HOUR (shoppers drug mart you suck ASS) with a fussy/tired baby for the stoopid dumb ass pharmacist to stick a label on. just typing this here makes me so angry all over again

and for weeks I have been fretting worrying about this appt with employment insurance today about seeing if they would help me go back to school and frankly after meeting with him today I don't know anymore than I did before hand and I have to wait another 2-3 weeks before I know that I am approved....

sigh

and I was all happy and giddy thinking that the new season of GLEE was starting tonight and turns out I was wrong as it is NEXT week so now i'm sitting here watching the finale of last season all teary eyed..

on a lighter happier note this is my 500th post! crazy! something that started as a fad six years ago is still going strong (although not as strong) been quite the ride and I don't plan on getting off anytime soon

over and out

i should so be asleep right now

ugh. why is it when you are so beyond tired that you can't sleep.

I was sleepy two hours ago and now not so much

and i'm so needing sleep right now. lily hasn't been sleeping so well at night time the last few weeks so i'm up at night with her and then up also with my insomnia. not fun. I can't seem to turn my brain off, I try to invision closing blinds (suggested by a friend), that didn't work, I try pretending that i'm going down an elevator and level by level i am supposed to get sleepier, that doesn't work. I also tried subtracting 9 from 100 on down and well frankly I suck at math so I don't get to far and just get mad

so yeah sleep would be nice

you know what else would be nice

smaller boobs!

i never, NEVER would have or could have imagined myself saying that but there it is. i'm so sick of these GINORMUS honking boobs, please tell me that they will shrink a little after breastfeeding? they are massive, and heavy and ugh. i want my b cups back

trip is all booked and set to go to go and see my sissy! yay!!!! count down is on, 2 weeks. hope that lily will be alright on the plane (in fact i'm having severe anxiety about this...I get anxiety while flying anyways and then to have a baby involved...eek!) so n'ways it will be nice to see my sis and spend some time together

and yes I did watch the red carpet of the emmy's and i had intentions to post and talk about the gowns but I think little miss was a tad cranky and up all night that night so it got sheleved (sorry!)

and that's all I got, my little bubble of energy has just been evaporated.

think I will go listen to the husband snore and count sheep

or something...