Dear Mr. Ronald McDonald:

First of all I have to commend you for building your little McHappy empire, bravo! However, I do seem to have a small little problem with your establishment. You see every time I drive by the Golden Arches or just so happen to be in the vicinity of one, I cannot seem to resit the lure to order a Quarter Pounder and fries (option #2 from the menu, sad that I know that I know isn't it?) with a Diet Coke, like that somehow makes it all "OK".

I realise that you are now "promoting" a new "healthy" menu but who the hell wants to order that after getting a whiff of those oh so yummy fries? umm, hello?! NOBODY! Exactly, my point. No I'm not suggesting you get rid of your fries, OK maybe possibly but we all need to live on the edge once and awhile...so perhaps maybe you should restrict some sort of rule or something like what they do for alcoholics, put up our pictures in every store like were on America's most wanted list and ban us from having more than one order of fries a week or something.....OK maybe that didn't come out exactly as i had planned...that's a bit much isn't it?

ummm..

In conclusion, I suggest that you Mr. Ronald McDonald should be forced to drink a Texas Mickey and be recorded on a web cam performing ludicrous acts so all the little children will become afraid of you and therefore no more McDonald's...

oh bloody hell, I'm just going to have to do this on my own. I HOPE YOU DIE!!!!!

sincerely,

Miss Flea Flea