Friday, June 22, 2007

sometimes u just need to cry

oh the pressure of it all finally caught up with me today, i was on my own today (paper work wise and offically on Monday out and about), and i was feeling, well very overwhelmed and un-prepared. i actually half considered throwing my hands up and walking away from it all..and then i had my first actual call and the guy was to put it frankly "a major jerkassfucker", yup that's right all three, and i was so put on the spot and didn't have my #'s right and well i was made to feel really small and stupid. so then i cried. well not really, i held them back and then i sat there wanting to quit and thinking to myself "flea, what the hell are you doing?" honest to fuck. like 10-15 minutes later a co-worker happens to come by to ask me another question and i cracked.

but she was so sweet and understanding and helped me through it and i ended up getting the stupid jerkassfucker to place an ad.

i still feel like crying my eyes out though, whenever i start bawling i can't seem to stop. thankfully i tapered off enough to get me home and now i can't seem to snap out of this funk. must be hormones or something AND on top of that i want ice cream. thank jebus i don't have any here in the house.

in other news, hope to god i have a relaxing weekend i'm so wound up and stressed i don't think i can handle anything else. the only thing we have planned is a baby shower tomorrow afternoon. oh what fun, and man are baby things freakin expensive!! no wonder i keep pushing baby thoughts away.....

hope everyone else has a good one! i'm out :P

7 comments:

Swishy said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! Those kinds of days SUCK! I hope you have an awesome, relaxing weekend to make up for it!

Wandering Coyote said...

Hope you're feeling better. It's all part of the new job thing, though - it takes time to settle in, so don't be so hard on yourself. And eat ice cream. I have had ice cream every day this week and it's like a drug. Really.

Chels-Puddle Jumper said...

Oh sweetie, I've been there. You just have to tell yourself two things:
#1: That guy was a "jerkassfucker". And not all people are Jerkassfuckers. Now you know they are out there, and now you can learn from this and better prepare yourself for the next jerassfucker. (By the way, I'm loving that word. I think I might need to start using it more often!) Jerkassfuckers think they were put on this earth to make everyone else feel stupid and small. But guess what, they just do that because they are trying to cover up how stupid and small they really are. Keep that in mind the next time you have to deal with one. It makes dealing with them a little easier when you know why they are doing what they are doing.
#2: What doesn't kill you will make you stronger. So come Monday, you are just that much smarter and more experienced.

Hang in there doll. You'll make it just fine.

Ben O. said...

New jobs stink. Just when you finally get the hang of it, you get burned out and want to leave.

Good luck and congrats at least on getting him to buy an ad.

Ben O.

Nelly said...

Hope things are better this week.

BTW...love, love, love the song you have playin on here! Rocks!

Beth said...

awww. what a sucky day. Drink a cosmo and relax...read a trashy book with lots of sex.

flea said...

thanks everyone for your comments, they help & make me laugh!

luv you all!! :P