whatever pops into my head at this moment in time

omg it is only tuesday! this week is taking FOREVER, like seriouisly, it's hard working 5 straight days in a row espically considering that the last two work weeks of mine were only 2/3 days 4 max and it doesn't help matters that i'm wishing my life away for friday as this week is a LONG weekend. yups i have monday off due to Canada day falling on Saturday. a woot woot fits nicely here

i almost just choked on a cracker while trying to answer that "annoying" office phone

you don't believe me about the choking thing do you but really i almost did........in fact i still think it's lodged in my throat somewhere

our local crap-ola of a radio station is currently playing "let's get it started" by the black eyed peas. like hello that was so last year.

i would luv to have my own radio station or better yet be a radio host that must be a fun job, course anything is better than what i'm currently doing.

although i shouldn't really complain because usually the last hour of work (4-5) i do nothing, no really i don't i usually either a)blog (like now) b) pretend to be doing constructive work c) chat on msn to a fellow co-worker or my mommy or d) stare off into space while appearing deep in thought or e) all of the above but usually i just blog or blog surf

i think i've recently become a compulsive eater i just ate half a bag of crackers in 2 minutes. that's so wrong and i just had to hide them in a desk drawer to make myself stop. nice.

it's freezing here in our office today and i'm so thankful i did not shave my legs this morning even though i am wearing capri's and people can see the hair. every 5 seconds i take a chill and it grows another millimeter half an inch whatever but i woudl be so pissed if i just shaved to have it grow back in a day!

i hate to shave, in fact i would start waxing but a) the pain b)$$ and c) the PAIN

total wimp

my dog chased a mentally handicapped man this morning and i spit my cereal out laughing at the site (i know i know i shouldn't be like that but c'mon i just couldn't help it and he's my neighbor so it's OK)

my cute kick ass black sandals which i truly love and feel so HOTT in, kill my feet. i can hardly walk 5 steps now, i think my feet must swell up thru the day or something cause by 5 they really, really hurt

is it wrong for me to pluck my eyebrow's in my car? this seems to be the best lighting and best mirror for me to take at my bushy eyebrows. going to attempt this tonight while the hubby is away and nobody's around to see me look so silly.

did i mention that this weekend is July 1? Canada day = big drunk weekend also means that our local community is holding a dance which gives me the opportunity to dance.

the song "all she wants to do is dance, dance" just ran thru my head. no idea who sings this or what the actual song title is called

i don't think i could possibly chew my nails any shorter yet here they are in my mouth with me chewing on them.....well not at this second as i'm typing but you get my drift

everytime i look at the clock only a few minutes has gone by and i keep telling myself not to look but i still do which is soooo annoying

canadian idol has begun for another season (the debuted the top 11 guys) and honestly i was so bored with it last night i gave up over half way thru the guys performances. the talent seems good but the show is just lacking something. mabye it's the host or the judges i dunno but it sucks BIG TIME compared to the american show. i know they probably have no where near the budget that the U.S. show does but comon you should've fired ben back on the 1st season he's soooo bad! i can't even stand to look at him and he's so akward he makes me want to barf.

omg 15 minutes to burn

well i guess i'm going to go with option c)

check ya later

H to the izzo

so i'm back from my vacation in Kingston/T. (aka Toronto) and it was fab! mind u i can't really recall all that occured as we were super busy visiting, shopping, viewing the sites, batteling a cold (yes leave it to me to be sick while on vacation!), more shopping, eating, walking, etc, etc that it all flew by in a blur.

a few quick highlights though:

duh! seeing my sissy
the Toronto zoo (pics to follow...although they aren't that great)
laughing until tears streamed down my face at a video that jilly captured of my mom, and we proceeded to watch it over and over and over and laughing harder each time.....
scoping out MuchMusic! finally and we got to see them setting up for the MMVA's so cool!
the Eaton Centre which leads to....
SEPHORA! I died and went to heaven

not so cool highlights:

the fighting, screaming, yelling, crying hissy fits,
and temper tantrums
that each and every one of us threw at some point
getting lost not once but twice in Kingston and having to call my sissy to come get us
almost (this close) to causing an accident in which we all would've DIED on the main freeway to Toronto
almost being held buy gun/knife point by a homeless weirdo.............
well not really but he was really scary and strung out on something and he so could've! you just never know with those homeless pps!!
the heat. omg it was so bloody hot! like it was insane i've never felt anything like it! thank god for country breezes is all i have to say
not going up the CN Tower even though we were RIGHT THERE!
our crappy ass hotel (ahem RAMADA) in downtown Toronto (ahem 300 Jarvis Street) if you are planning on going to Toronto do not, i Repeat DO NOT STAY HERE! was the wurst hotel ever!
stuipd ass outlet centre (cannot recall name, Dairy, Dearie....help me jilly here.....) that was so not an outlet centre! FALSE ADVERTISING! there were only like 3 in the whole GODDAMN MALL!
oh
and the 2 hrs of sleep that i got on the way home
and did i mention i was sick the WHOLE FRIGGIN TIME!
because a stuipd co-worker of mine refused to call in sick and spread all her germs in the office thus infecting me and my hubby
BIATCH!

good times, good times

20 minutes and counting

ok so it's now 4:37

and i cannot possibly work anymore today

my desk is all cleaned off, i've got all my shit (ahem work) caught up and
now it's just a matter of minutes and i'm outta here!

~tick tock ~ goes my clock

now pray for nice weather, good luck and fortune

oh and the odd shopping bargain/steal

i'm outta here pps see ya next week sometime (i'm sure i'll have a lot of catching up to do)

peace out :0)

quickie

so excited i leave in work in about

3 hrs

and then i'm off for

5 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and to top that wonderfull prize off i'm going to Ontario to see my sissy!

and oh yeah shop like i've never shopped before!

tee hee

shhh can u keep a secret

whenever someone calls into the office and is either mean/rude/abrupt just plain nasty i always flip off the phone as i am transfering them....a sort of take that you @#$!@$%!

i cannot stand the smell of tuna it makes me gag

which is weird cause i don't have a sensitive gag reflux.....wink wink (HA HA)

i hate it when people always call me "cute" or the "quiet one"

i feel that a lot of my friends and or family do not know the real me

i would say that i am fake with quite a few people

i secretly really like Paris Hilton's new song even though i cannot stand her. the video is way hilarous though you must check it out if you are in need of a laugh

i can't cook

i don't ever sew or iron anything (i don't even know where my iron is)

i can do laundry though, that's at least something

and i do clean.......at least sometimes, usually when i know people will be over

i only brush my teeth twice a day and i never floss

i'm addicted to tanning beds but i only allow myself to go twice a week

that's only when i can afford to go

i will only use tampons when it's that time of the month i plain out refuse to buy pads. uck!

sometimes i wonder what the heck i'm doing with my life

other times i'm pretty content

Canadian Idol really blows this year & the judges are just plain rude/mean so thinking of not wathcing this year (i'll give it one more week)

i'm scared shitless at even the thought of having children/giving birth

i despise living pay check to pay check and it drives me insane

no really it does even though i have no control over it.....well i do sorta but we just can't seem to stop spending

i usually get my way

and pitch a holy ole fit if i don't get it

i luv listening to the oldie's there are some wicked tunes from that time and you just don't get them now-a-days, truly you don't

i still don't know what i want to be when i grow up

some of my favorite shows when i was a kid were Seasme Street, Mr. Dress Up, Reading Rainbow, Mr. Rogers

i don't really remember a lot from my childhood, it's a blank except for the odd memory here or there or when someone says "remember when" (must've been all that weed i smoked from 18-20)

i haven't smoked a joint in months, in fact it's probably more like a year

i have tons of stuff to do today but i just had to take 30 minutes to chill and de-stress

at the office people tell me when they come/go and i'm supposed to make a note of it so that if anyone calls then someone knows where they are......i so don't do this.....in fact when they tell me they are leaving i'm silently thinking in my head "i don't give a sweet f@!*#!"

i forget stuff a lot too

and i'm so not observant

in fact i really don't know why i picked this career choice as it's so not right for me but yet at the same time it somehow is. weird

~i'm out~

more bad, sad, just plain awful news

one of my uncles was killed yesterday morning in a car accident

to say i'm numb isn't even the right word that i want to use right now

stunned, shocked, mortified, speechless

i'm hurting/aching for my aunt, my cousins and my dad

but most of all for his granddaughter whom him and my aunt basically adopted as there own daughter couldn't/didn't want to raise her and she was the light of his life and vice versa.

to many words are trying to surface right now but all i want/need to say is Goodbye uncle Orv (his name was Orville), i'll see you again

no more monkeys jumpin on the bed

you know i would really like to have a pet monkey not the fugly ones but the cute ones like what Ross had on friends or one that looked like curious george. you could teach them tricks and better yet teach them to do mundane things that you don't want to like pick up stuff that you don't want to bend over and pick up or better yet teach it to fetch you beer and snacks from the kitchen when you are say in the middle of a good show or movie....yeah wouldn't that just be the greatest??

these last few weeks i have wanted nothing more than to run from my work place kicking and screaming and throwing a Grande Royle of all 2 year old temper tantrums. i am severally frustrated with my work or i should say frustrated at myself for putting myself in this situation, i should have been a good girl in high school got good grades, focused on my school work and really worked hard. but no. i hated school, hated studying and basically just fucked off my high school years and if i would've just smartened the heck up i could've graduated with scholarships went off to college and got a degree in something and graduated in 4 years and making good money right now. but no. instead i worked for a couple of years (in retail), went to community college to become an administrative assistant (heck anything was better than retail at this point) and now 5 years later here i sit (well not actually working at the moment but that's besides the point) making shit ass for money and i am SICK to death of this job! i've had enough of answering the fucking phone, i've had enough of doing people's crap that they are to damn lazy to do themselves. i've just had IT! so i tell my "supervisor" that i want more like months ago and they have given me more but now there is a possibility of new position opening up and come to find out there not so big on the idea of promoting me as i'm to "pleasant" and "friendly" with the customers! well fuck you! if they hire someone else above me i am going to be severally pissed, like beyond pissed and more importantly hurt as from day one when they first interviewed me i expressed that i did not, DID NOT want to stay at this level for ever and ever as i hate it and as each day goes on knowing this tid bit of information which i'm still not 100% sure on you nobody has said anything fer sure but you know how you just get those feelings sometimes, well yeah i have this feeling that they are going to screw me over. so just to prove a point i am now being rude to everyone....no i'm not really well mabye not quite as friendly as i would normally be.

course i've been a little on edge lately anyways, and mabye a tad bit paranoid

~sigh ~

so i finally had to break down and ask my dr. to put me back on anxiety/panic disorder medication as i just have not been myself like the past month and it's funny how i knew my triggers were being set off but yet how i ignored them

so hopefully no more miss crabby pants (my husband has taken the brunt of my anger/anxiety/stressed out issues, poor bastard), no no more late nights of restless sleep, no more fretting/worrying about things i cannot control i'm hoping this drug just mellows me the hell out, i don't think i ever remember being this wound up and it's not just one thing it's like at least 5 things that are really wigging me out (the work thing being like one of the highest)

on the positive side of things i am taking not 1 but 2 vacation days next week to go on a major shopping trip to Kittery, Maine to hit up the outlet stores, despite the fact that none of us have any money to shop with were going anyways and i think it's just what i need to un-wind and de-stress

gotta luv the happy endorfens one gets while shopping :0 )

what i need right NOW

&

thank you god it is freaking FRIDAY

20 minutes and counting before i blow this joint

i have never ever, EVER wanted a drink as badly as i do right now, and no i'm not an alcoholic, at least i never thought i was. although this past week it's all i can really think about and the only thing that brings me any sort of "happiness" that just makes me feel all warm and giddy inside. is that so wrong?

and no i don't really want to talk about why i'm so stressed as it will just bring my blood pressure even higher what with all the bloody car repairs, job related issues, mortgage frustrations i would just rather not go there. so instead my friends i would like to know what's your favorite alcoholic beverage?

and oh yeah happy freakin friday