Tuesday, September 12, 2006

drunken crackwhore

now normally i only drink (aka get drunk) like say mabye 4-6 times over a full year (,Halloween, Christmas, New Year's, July 1st, and the odd camping trip or corn boil), but this past year i seem to have broken from the trend as i think i'm way past my "normal" restrictions. i've lost count. now not only have i lost count but i've also done something i've never done before. what you may ask? well, i got piss ass drunk with hubby's family and a bunch of strange people i've never ever met before. yes. it's true.

so in my typical run down/play by play here is a run down of my evening

- attended party @ my brother-in-law's house in St. Andrews, NB, to celebrate his marriage (wedding was earlier in the day) with a BBQ (they didn't have a dance, not really sure why), that ended up being rained out as it down poured, but that didn't phase any of us at all. i should note that i didn't even want to go to this said gathering, but it ended up with me being the one having such a steller time
- spent the 1st hour or so in a corner with hubby and his sister & hubby. not really drinking at this point, and already plotting when we could make our escape
- an hour later and 1 1/2 cooler's later i was beginning to somewhat enjoy myself
- another hour later and several shooters later i had a new best friend. my shooter buddy, that i've never met before in my life. told her several times how much i loved her and thought she was soooo cool.
- appointed Hugh (another brother-in-law) as our "Leader" to get us all back to our hotel in one piece, even though he was the drunkest out of all of us at this point
- continued doing shooters and drank another 1 1/2 cooler, i am now socializing like crazy and talking to everyone. my little space in the corner has long been forgotten
- everyone (including me) had a good laugh at my expense as the cooler's i was drinking made my mouth like a bright vibrant red. like ronald mcdonald red.
- danced around the living room with brother-in-law, and proceeded to take several crazy/dirty/raunchy pictures with him (oh god!)
- am still doing shooters, and have totally lost count. hubby is now warning me to slack off and is giving me "his look". i just ignore him
- i either broke the toilet or was just unable to function enough to run it as it had some sort of fancy lever thingy on it
- flirted with the best man right in front of hubby, just to show him i still "got it"
- more dancing
- consumed my last cooler, and totally forgot where i sat it down, didn't really matter as i'm so gone by this point
- made yet another "new" best friend, whom i yet again professed my love and new found friendship too
- there may have been some more dancing and singing it's all a little blurry at this point
- one of the living room chairs got broken by like 4-5 people piling on it, i don't think i was involved in this, but i'm not 100% sure. resulted in a 10-15 minute laughing fit by everyone
- shortly there after we dance to one last song and headed for the hotel by foot as it was now 3:00 AM and none of us were in any shape to drive
- was the longest walk of my life. several stops as i thought i was going to puke and or die on the side of the road along with several laughing fits
- passed out blissfully and laughing in my bed and believe it or not i was not sick! ha!

what have i learned:

- shooters are not your friend, although they will make you new ones in no time, they always come back to bite you in the ass
- do not take raunchy photo's with brother-in-law, espically when it's not my camera and i have no control over deleting it
- do not flirt with said brother-in-law, even though he is really, really cute.......
- always pack advil in my over night bag - so regretted not packing drugs my head still hurts

ah, the joys of drinking!

Congrats Jonathan & Tammy it was a beautiful wedding and an even better party


Barry said...

Not sure I am the best to comment - but I will anyways:P

I am remninded of the scene in 'Bagger Vance' I am sure I will screw this up :

Fisrt to go are the hearing cells - so you get real loud,

Then go the stupid cells - coz everything you say is so smart

I forget the rest... Oh yeah the last to go are the memory cells - NOW thats funny!!!

Love your so honest posts - whis I could be so open

Jimmy said...

Wait...did you say "corn boil"??? ;o)

flea said...

barry - i always luv to see you here and get your 2 cents worth! and i loved your comment today as it's so true (i've never seen bagger vance), and as far as my honest posts i'm just being me, some may not think that such a good thing

jimmy - yup i did!!! the good ole fashioned corn boil.gotta luv em!

Wandering Coyote said...

Oooh, love a good corn boil!

Well, it sounds like you had a good time and I wouldn't feel too guilty about the drinking because really, as you stated, you don't do it that often, and this was a special occasion. But flirting in front of your husband...umm...not so great an idea...unless you're cool with him flirting in front of you.

Miss 1999 said...

I'm loving it! I was busting when you said you thought you broke the toilet! One of my best friends, Oni, broke a sink at my Christmas party in 1994 *LOL* Don't feel bad about drinking too much, it happens to the best of us ;0)

Nancy Drew said...

Oh poor Flea! Glad you had a great time, hope you can bribe them all into submission.....

luckysevn said...

I wanna hang out with you when I finally decide to get drunk again!!! Everybody is my new best friend when I've had one too many, too...

Corn boil, huh? Anything like a pig roast? Now a pig roast, I'm familiar with!

Sadie Lou said...

Have you ever peed on the toilet seat while it was down? Cuz I have. Glad those days are long gone. Girl, just gotta say, I'm glad you had fun and all but the flirting thing is a problem. Was your hubby sore at you afterwards or did he just accept that you were gassed and didn't really mean anything by it?
Cute brother-in-laws could be a temptation you can't handle if hubby wasn't around?
Just askin'
( I used to be a wretched flirt so I guess I get protective sometimes)

flea said...

wc - i know it wasn't a good idea to flirt in front of him, i sort of always get really flirtagious when i drink, so he's used to me by now, also it was sort of a pay back to him as the last time he was out drinking he was flirting with everyone

miss 1999 - thanks for stoppin by, and thanks for backin me up, i think everyone needs to unwind every now and then....or more often...ha!

nd - unfortunately, not so, i know none of these people, or even recall there names, guess i'll just have to deal with it

lucky - a corn boil basically consists of a giant pot of corn, and lot's and lot's of drinking, or at least those are the corn boils i've been too.....

sadie's - again hubby is used to me when i get trashed, i'm a social and flirt butterfly, and honestly most of the brother in law thing is probably in my head as i do tend to exagerate just a little on here, so it's all good

mcBlogger said...

haha, sounds like a great time. impressive when ya don't get sick.