Monday, January 09, 2006

nothing much

totally bored outta my mind. not sure why i even ventured here today as i have "nothing much" to talk or write about today. basically just hoping to entertain myself for at least a half an hour of my painfully boring day today here at the office.

so did not want to get my ass outta bed again this morning! what is wrong with me?? i'm healthy, alive and have a wonderful (well most of the time..) husband i have a fabulous family and have tremendous support from all of them so therefore i shouldn't be getting depressed but alas i feel myself going down the same ole path that i venture down this time of year. i should seek out my dr but i am to damn stubborn and i know it's more due to my anxiety than depression and he's just going to put me on those damn depression pills that make me feel better but totally make me wanna throw up all the time. so i don't want to go see the wizard so what to do?? just deal with it i suppose. seeings how it's only 2-3 months outta the year.

and i have days where i feel fine (i.e. saturday) but then i wake up and i have a day like today where i'm down and have no energy what-so-ever. so i go from being quite high and happy to being very low, grumpy, irritable and extremely tired. doesn't help when other pps here at work are down too, thus pulling me even further into the blackness. uck!

so on the positive side of things here are some things i could/should/would do if i weren't such a lazy/poor mofo:

start exercising - must do this pronto as it creates happy endorfins which i really need.
get outside more - did this on saturday, felt much better, the fresh air did me wonders
get my ass outta bed on the weekends - no more sleeping well past noon or having naps from
2-5
plan a vacation to a tropical location - this would at least give me something positive to plan/think about
stop fretting about my weight it's only 10 pounds and i will lose it eventually
stop fretting about money
stop fretting about things i have no control over
purchase sleeping pills or something to help me go to sleep at night - lack of sleep has been a BIG factor of late, but if i wasn't sub-consicousily fretting about stuff this probably wouldn't be an issue
cheer the fuck up!!!!!!

that's all i can think of thus far and you know i feel somewhat better just getting this off of my brain. so sorry for the lame ass post today!

~happy monday~

i'm out :)

4 comments:

Bridget Jones said...

Flea love the new pic!!!!

If you need laughs, send me an e mail, I have TONS of jokes.

That list looks like mine...and Raven's.....think a lot of us are in that post-Christmas place...

((( hugs))) Bridg

flea said...

bridg - yeah i think your right. after all the hype and excitement of christmas what are we left with. nothing. just shitty weather and more crappy shitty winter weather. no wonder depression is so high in the winter months!

but it helps coming here and seeing that i'm not the only one to go thru this and knowing that i can/will cheer up if i fight it!

thanks for the support :0)

Blondie said...

I find that I don't feel as happy in the winter. The days are gloomy and I hate the cold.

Sounds like you're doing everything you can by getting outside. That is what I try to do. Go for walks outside and try to keep busy. Hang in there! :)

flea said...

blondie - thanks girl! i'm trying very hard to stay positive and not go down that dark gloomy path and it's slowly working!

i'm hoping to go for a walk tonight as the day is nice & mild and the rest of the week is supposed to be stormy so i must get out now while the coast is clear