ARGH!!

not only is it monday, evil dreadful monday but i quite possibly had the wurst morning ever, and it's still morning people. it's not even 10:00 yet and i've had the following happen to me:

- couldn't wear the outfit that i initally wanted as there was some weird funky stain on my said pants that i have no idea where it came from, or what it was on them, do not have time to deal with and just grab outfit #2

- was out of my favorite cereal and had to replace with toast & peanut butter :(

- received call from hubby on his cell stating that he forgot to take the garbage out. great.

- already running late at this point and i still haven't got makeup and hair flat ironed

- dogs are barking and driving me insane as they will. not. shut. up. or quit barking at the neighbors evil, fucking dogs

- as i am sitting eating my crap ass toast (i really wanted my cereal), and drinking a horrible fruit juice, my cat decides that she wants to "cuddle" and gets cat hair all over my 2nd pick outfit and i don't have time to lint roll it off as i forgot the FUCKING garbage again. FUCK!

- so i hurry and eat my toast, brush my teeth, grab my coat, purse, lunch, and i'm out of the house but guess what. it frosted last night, therefore my car is covered in a layer of frost that will at least take 5 minutes to de-fog. nice.

- thinking to save myself time, i decided to walk the said fucking garbage down to the road. and as i pick up the 3, count em 3 bags (who knew we threw out so much crap), water proceeds to spill all over my said 2nd pick outfit. at least i hope it was water. it may have been dog piss as our neighbors dogs have a habit of "marking there territory" and tearing our bags to shit, but i'm getting ahead of myself here........

continuing on

- so i disregard the water or ahem piss and proceed to half carry and drag the garbage down our very long driveway and about midway point just guess what happens. just guess. take a wild guess

- yup, you got it, the bag or one of the bags busted wide open. so not only am i now 5 minutes late i have to pick up garbage, nasty vile smelling garbage, and haha we have no more bags left for me to dump this crap over into so i manage somehow to stuff it all back in the bag that ripped apart, and ewwwwww, omg was so utterly disgusting sorting thru half eaten food. yuck. and do you know why my bag ripped? becuase my fucking neighbors dogs had tore a hole in it. cha. they are so going to pay

- meanwhile i am now over 10+ minutes late, i have no time to change my wet pants, i barely have time to wash my garbage smelly hands and then i'm on my merry way driving like a mad women to get to work on time, and surprizingly i still made it in here 5 minutes early. dunno how i managed that, just praise jebus that no cops were out this morning

- so now here i sit in dress pants covered in hair and what's probably dried dog pee on my pant leg, and i think i smell like garbage which is also giving me a really bad headache. can i go home now????