Friday, May 12, 2006

a little too much drinky poo

i had to share this and add my two cents to it

happy friday ~ enjoy ~

Titled : When girls drink to much

1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS. how does this always, always seem to happen?? i've resorted to not even taking my purse with me

2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING
OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE
MOVE AROUND. or dancing like a stripper (or thinking that you are a stripper....)and being unable to move or walk the next day....

3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS
AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO. hell yeah bring it on baby i could take anyone on i feel like superman.....are u looking at me? didn't think so biatch!

4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE
LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR
HOURS AGO can't say that this happens to me at least not til the next day as i always pass out before taking my makeup off i always think i'm the hottest thing on the planet until i wake up in the morning and it all comes crashing back

5.WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE
THEM SOOOOO MUCH. oh my god this is so true.....and oh yeah i sooooo luv you!

6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A
NEW SONG PLAY'S BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"you cannot prye me off of the dance floor after having a few and every song is my favorite

7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US. sadly this is true too

8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT. dammit, true again (although i haven't touched one in forever but you always just want to)

9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN. yup, true again

10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY
LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR can't say i've ever done this personally i usually make it to the bed but i can so see me doing this

11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT. yup done this one before

12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT. the shoes almost always come off if not for walking because they hurt, or i trip or i just feel like running around barefoot channeling my inner britney spears it doesn't matter cause i'm loaded baby and i feel sexy and fine!

man i feel like going and tying one on now fer sure!

13 comments:

As always... Rachael said...

I can relate... although I've never questioned a bartender, and I don't cry unless I'm really, REALLY trashed! But everything else falls into the been-there-done-that category... kitchen floors are always so nice and cool... the perfect place to fall asleep if you want to wake up with sore hips adn a crink in your neck! Good Times!

scrunch said...

Sheesh, I just got up off the floor from your other posts, and now I'm back rolling on it laughing again...Years ago I was an entertainer (solo guitarist and singer) working bars and nightclubs and was also a bartender from time to time and I've seen this in girls so many times, but you write it OH, SO well...

Sadie Lou said...

I haven't been drunk since I had children--so that's been about 10 years. Family life is pretty sobering but I will say that I have never wanted to get drunk since I've had kids because life is fun enough...

(and I sorta did all my lame party tricks back in the day--enough for three people actually)

greatwhitebear said...

okay, first time here, and already love you!

flea said...

rachel - thanks for stopping by and i'm glad i'm not the only one that can relate to these!

scrunch - glad to put you back on the floor

sadie - haha would've liked to seen you back in the day then!

greatwhitebear - thanks for stopping by, i'll have to pop over to you page as well

mcBlogger said...

Great list, and oh so true.

I don't know if this happens to you, but I thought I'd mention it cuz it's been on my list for years.

Every idea is a great idea and needs to be executed immediately...

(often involves consequences not realized till the next day)

Sadie Lou said...

flea--
*raises my hand in shame* chipped my tooth on a toilet once.

yep.
the guy that was holding my hair back while I threw up didn't realize he was actually helping me hold my head up. When he let go--my head hit the toilet.

horrible.

flea said...

mcblogger - ya you are so right it's like every 5 seconds a light bulb in our head goes "ding" and it's just the bestest idea ever!

sadie - ouch that had to hurt! although i'm sure you didn't feel it til the next day ~ poor you

Kleokatra said...

I can relate to just about all of these. My husband won't let me go out and get wasted with the girls anymore, because I always seem to lose most of my clothing when I am wasted. The night he met me I was down to just a thong. great first impression. :)
I do have to say I still have yet to know how it feels to bow to the porcilyn god when drinking. I have never experienced the vomiting or consistant hangovers. I have had 3 hangovers my entire life. yea.

Wandering Coyote said...

flea: just catching up here as I haven't been around in quite a while, as I'm sure you know. You are just as funny as ever and I can always count on you to give me a smile!

I haven't been this drunk in many a year, though I long for the money and the company for a good piss-up now and then.

The fart post was priceless!

flea said...

wc - i'm glad i can bring a smile to your face, anything to brigthen your day! i know you need it, i still drop by your site too just don't know what to say as you are going thru such a hard time right now but just know i still read and i still care :0)

Bridget Jones said...

Ummm Flea, you've been stalking me, right?

You can admit it....

Oh there's a Canadian twist...believing that you can speak perfect French (if you're English) or English (if you're French)....

flea said...

bridg - not sure what you are talking about here???

ummmm

i'm majorly confused now

??