teensy weensy little white lies

were all bound to tell one every now and then, but i find myself doing it quite a lot lately

for example:

my boss likes things perfect and when he asks you to do something you jump and then bitch about it later. now normally i'm not an ass kisser but with him i do as he says and just deal with it. so the other day i had to run out and do some errands and he asked me to pick him up his lunch and a pop (at two different locations) and perhaps if i had some of his money left over to get him a piece of pie. well i got the sandwhich and the pop (soda for you yankees) and while in line for the pop, looked over to the side where the restaurant is (this is a convenience store/restaurant in one) and just decided to hell with the pie, it's bloody hot and i have no AC in my car and my face is all red and i really don't give a rats ass if he has his pie or not so i'll just say that there was a really, really, really long line up at the cash register and that was that i turned around and left and what do you know my lil white lie worked! he didn't know any different! brillant!!!

another example is when a friend or fellow co-worker gets a new do, aka "hair do", you all know what i'm talking about and in fact this has me doubting my latest "do" but that's a story and possibly picture for another day.....anyhoo this girl at my office about a month ago got her hair cut, styled and colored, not her normal hair color i might add she put blue streaks in her red hair. like who the hell does that? a 12 year old? anyway, i was so like "omg your hair looks so wicked! when really in my head i'm screaming "OMFG who the hell puts blue, BLUE streaks in their hair! how hideous!!!" all the while with a perfectly straight face

or telling evil brillo head girl downstairs that her skirt is super cute and sooo flattering to her figure, when really you can see thru it and the big pink flowers on it look like gigantic heads and can barely stand to look at her with a straight face, let alone give her a compliment, sigh i'm such a bitch but honestly i just can't help it

some other brief examples are when people ask me if i saw something i totally lie and say i have or sometimes i have even blamed things that i have done wrong on evil brillo head girl downstairs, although i'm not really working with her now so i guess that's out, which so sux's

anyways,

i'm totally out of steam now and it's wicked nice out here and i think i may just take my two hound dogs for a W A L K, imagine me exercising! better get to it before the energy leaves me

peace out biatches!

must not eat...must not eat

no i haven't become a zombie, well i sort of feel like one....but that's besides the point, this has become my one and only mantra as i sort of started a diet yesterday, sort of, and rule # 1 of my said diet is to not eat after 7PM which i am only 3minutes away from and i don't think i can consume an entire bag of popcorn in less than 2 minutes (well actually i probably could but i'm so not going there), so here i am sitting at home trying to tell myself that i am not hungry when in fact i'm STARVING and all i can think about is my one and only lonesome bag of popcorn that is silently calling to me from my pantry.

ok wait

must think of reasons to not eat, umm

i have to at least lose 5 pounds before my cousins wedding in august
i'm tired of my fat rolll and having to suck it in all the bloody time
i think i now have a double chin
and my arms are freaking huge

so yeah that's somewhat better but i still want that damn bag of popcorn

dammit i thought that would help ~ well guess i'll resume the mantra

must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat have to lose 15 pounds must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat
god am i still typing must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat but it's only popcorn must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat ok i'm stopping now must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat no really i am

UPDATE

so i totally caved and ate the bag of popcorn, i just had to i mean come on Big Brother All Stars was on and i just had to have something to celebrate that fact.....right......??..dammit that's another diet down the shit hole

my "laminated" list

so i'm totally ripping this idea off from Mrs. Bee Otch whom is new to the blogging world so i encourage everyone to pop on over to her link on my side bar and say hello, and no i can't link it from here cause i'm just not that computer smart. moving on

so you may be asking what the heck is a laminated list? well your in luck as you are about to find out, or if your like me and a total t.v. junkie i'm sure you already know where i'm going with this. in case you aren't a t.v. crack whore junkie like me, the laminated list comes from a little old show called Friends. the reasoning behind the list was that the said couple (rachel & ross i do believe) could make up a list of 5 celebs in that they could so have an affair with and the other couldn't be mad about it, as it was on the laminated list.

so just in case (you never, ever know) i ever run into a classified celeb here is my top 5 laminated list. i was oringally only going to post one pic but then i thought to myself why only one when we could double the fun!

#5 (but not really my #5 as i fucked up my order of pictures so he's really #3)

oh, legolas you could take me far, far away off into the elvin forest any day, with just me and you and the squirrels living in our peaceful little forest by a rolling misting river, you could catch our food with your bow and arrows and play the flute by a fire in the evenings.............
sorry i got caught up in my little elvin fantasy there what can i say about Orlando? luv the long blonde hair in this pic, luv the piercing blue eyes (ahem contacts), but more importantly i totally dig the whole "elf" & "one with nature" thing


mind you he also looks extremely hot & steamy in this pic as well, sans blonde hair and blue eyes.

this picture really speaks to me sort of like

i'm going to take you now, ever so slowly as i undress you with my eyes first and then my hands, softly, ever so softly........

WHAT! sorry again getting a litle carried away i'll try to stick with a PG version but seriousily this boy is YUMMY, and sure he may look a little femine sometimes, and sure he's probably smaller/skinner than i am but he's so on my list





#5 (the real one)
Josh Holloway, aka hottie Sawyer on LOST and reason number 115 as to why i love that show is that he's contantly walking around with no shirt on and i totally dig the shoulder length blonde hair (in fact i'm realizing i dig the longer hair more and more often, total turn on, but not fabio long that's just ~shudders~ nasty and wrong on so many levels)

so i'm assuming this pic must be a promo for LOST hence the beach in the back ground, but he looks oh so steamy in that sexy little black shirt









and here's a better close up of just how yummy he really is! and with stuble i might add!

is it hot in here?

and were only getting started













#4 - Justin Timberlake




















DAMN! who knew he had all that under there! now that is some fine ass american meat right there! i only wish he would've pulled his pants oh so much lower.......did i just say that out loud? whoops! i think i prefer him with the shaved head look though, it makes him look ruff & tough, although his curly locks are rather sexy too in a more boyish way. either way i wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers and poor brit brit is sure kicking her self in the ass now that she's stuck with k-fed. girl what the hell were you thinking??

# 2 - Bad Boy Johnny Depp
this is one crush that steams way back for me, or at least after i saw Edward Scissorhands

and as the years progress he just gets better and better

who cares that he's married (or lives with) some french chick and has kids! he just screams sex appeal, and once again i prefer him with a tad longer hair style, and the facial hair is another bonus point, oh and the tattoos and the list goes on and on and on









once again the scruffy look, only this time with a bit more of a preppy look going on, which i must say he also pulls of rather well

mmmmmmmmmm

i could stare into those eyes forever and ever












and lastly numero uno Ryan Gosling

I originally fell in love with Ryan back when he was on a small little Canadian T.V. show called Breaker High in which he literally stole the show, his character was the cute shy guy that never got the girl but yet he was funny, wity and so charasmatic.

i didn't see him again until the movie murder by numbers, and he again blew me away not only with his looks but with his acting as he is truly talented and is going to be huge some day, it's just a matter of time

and then of course he was in a little movie called the Notebook and that just sealed his and mines fates for ever right then and there. HOTT with two t's is all i can say and the chemistry between him and Rachel McAdams was very obivious and hence the reason i'm sure they are together today (lucky girl), with a beard or whithout i would so do nasty things to this guy, or at least in my dreams anyways!

so there's my list, sorry guys i'm sure it wasn't that exciting for you but here's your challenge come up with a list of your own and post it

anyways suckers i'm out, i'll probably be away a few days as i'm training the "new" girl to replace me on the front lines and i begin ~gasp~ my new position probably mid week! scary as hell!

check ya later :P

Tag ~ Your IT!

as per Nancy Drew's tag here's my take

5 Things always in my purse:
1-wallet
2-lip gloss
3-pens
4-more lip gloss
5-lint

5 Things always in my wallet:
1-debit card
2-credit card
3-driver's liscense
4 - wedding picture (aww)
5 - pizza delight coupons

5 Things always in my refrigerator:
1-milk
2-diet coke
3-OJ
4- eggs
5-fruit

5 Things always in my closet:
1- t-shirts/tank tops
2-pants (casual & dressey)
3-shoes
4- 1 out of style prom dress
5- 1 baby shower gift that i never delivered that is still wrapped.....

5 Things always in my car:
1-sunglasses
2- CD's
3-napkins (usually from mcdonald's)
4- several empty water bottles
5 - 1 penny (for good luck)

5 (or more) Things always on my desk:
1- wedding picture
2-water bottle
3-kleenax (damn allergies)
4-stapler
5- mounds and mounds of paper

5 people i'm tagging (you are now it!)
Barry
Jimmy
McBlogger
Mrs. Bee Otch (aka the Philospher)
Kleo

Mulitiple Choice

nice huh so classy

take a guess that i am either:

a) the new spokewomen for Captin Morgan Rum ( i hear the acutally have some new yummy coolers out, which would so work for me, anyone that has any contacts with them.....hook me up!)

b) Keith Richards long lost daughter

c) headed for the crazy house as i've gone off my rocker and put on heavy, heavy medications to stop the twitchings and convulsations

d) recently diagnosed with not one but two lazy eyes

e) all of the above

f) none of the above this is just what i look like on a daily basis

you decide!!

oh the horror!

i had the wurst, WURST possible thing happen to me this afternoon

so most of you know from a previous post from awhile back that i can hold my pee for a long time which usually means that i avoid having to go to the dreaded public washroom, and oh how i hate to, no, better yet i should say i despise to use them but today on my way to my weekly allergy shot at my dr.'s office which just so happens to reside in an out-of-date building that is older than, well you get my drift and as i'm walking in to my appointment it hits me

gotta pee ~ gotta go right now ~ gotta pee pee ~ omg i have to pee like right now!

my bladder is screaming at me for release and i know, oh yes i know that i'm going to have to cave and give in to my urge to urinate as much as i hate to use there itsy bitsy teeny tiny "public" washroom just outside of my dr's office which by the way everyone can here you in there doing your "business", which just makes it every so much more horrifying. i'm in luck though as it's only shelley (admin) and some other lady who looks really nice (thankfully no kids, dirty people, or seniors) so i quickly go in shut the door (failing to notice that the door knob is hanging every so crookedly) and

ahhhhhhhhh

instant relief and i couldn't care less if the pope or the president heard me at this point

so i finish up, wash my hands, primp in the mirror and go to turn the knob to leave, only, hmm that's odd it won't open, i twist and i turn and i pull and nothing, NOTHING and i'm telling myself not to panic and remain calm when in fact i am doing none of the sort and there's this damn annoying fan going and i can't hear anything outside and i'm very near pounding down this piece of shit door when i faintly here shelley on the other side saying something and i'm like what? "i can't hear you", honestly this is like a scene from some t.v. show and i'm sure this would only ever, EVER possibly happen to me. visions of me spending the rest of the afternoon trapped in this godforsaken smelley, stinky ass bathroom flash thru my brain and my panic again rises another level, i'm twisting and turning when at the same time shelley is from the other side of the door, obivioisily we aren't getting anywhere's here

i then suddenly realize what i have to do, and oh boy i don't want to

i calmly stated to shelley to turn off the light, thus putting me into total darkness. and again those of you that know me know that i am terrified, no i should say scared to death of the dark but it's the only way i can hear for her to instruct me on what to do to get me outta this goddamn death trap!

and then i'm in the dark

trying oh so hard not to cry, laugh and scream at the same time

this was the longest 5 fucking minutes of my life i swear but praise baby jesus i got out, without them having to go and get the maintaince guy and thankfully it's still just shelley and this really nice women who made light of it all when really all i wanted to do was curl up in the fetal position and cry myself to sleep

i am so never, EVER going into a public washroom like that ever, ever again

i think that's my lesson learned for the day

book review

so this is my first "offical" (at least i think) book review of none other than the devil wears prada by Lauren Weisberger to say that i was excited doesn't even come close as to how badly I wanted to read this book and i'm dying to see the movie

but i'm very dissapointed to say that i wasn't that big of a fan of the book i mean don't get me wrong it was still quite good, it had lots of funny "i can so relate" moments, but i was just lacking or mabye it was the fact that i had such high hopes or my constant comparison to Sophie Kinsella's series of Shop~a~holic books which just blew me away and i can re-read over and over and still laugh out loud each time.

mabye it's the fact that i can't see why the lead character would stay in that job so long when her boss is such a bitch and how she completely wraps herself in her job and forgets about her family, boyfriend and best friend, when she totally hates it! i dunno there was just something missing

i'm still stoked to see the movie though as i've heard that miss meryl streep puts on an amazing performance and what girl wouldn't love a movie with flashy clothes, gorgeous shoes and beautiful people?

so out of 5 possible stars i'm giving this book a 2 1/2

i almost wish i would've read the book after seeing the movie now.........

cha CHING!!

i have some sweet ass freaking steller news

you all know how a few weeks ago i was ranting and raving mad about my job and how i didn't think they would give me the promotion that i oh so desperately wanted...

well...............

i GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so not only am i done (well on a 3 month trial basis) as the ASS (admin assistant) of the company, but i get a raise and best of all, my own, very own OFFICE which i have never ever had and that alone just gets me tee heeing and extatic. so i am now going to be responsible for accounts payable and bank rec's and whatever else they throw my way. i am some what scared shitless as you all know i don't have a heavy work load at the moment and this will be a lot more work but i think i'm up for the challenge, or at least i'm going to give a really good go at it

so this probably means no more blogging from work, no more mindless surfing but thankfully i can still do this from home but somehow it's just not the same :(

or at least until i get into some sort of system/routine because let's face it everyone needs a break of some sort thru the day right??

anyways i just had to share my "good" news for a change

peace out bitches!

the exercise video

you know i just should've known better than to borrow an exercise video from a fellow co-worker who is big on health and fitness/exercise and i should've known better then to go home and put it in and actually "do" the exercises but no oh no i couldn't be that smart now could i

and i also couldn't be smart enough to acutally read the small print on the back of the box until after the said work out but that's irrelevant at this point

so i go home last night, feeling fat, bloated and all that jazz and i'm sitting there thinking to myself get off the couch and do something for the love of god when i just so happen to spy this video tape that i borrowed laying where i left it 2 weeks ago and i thought hmmm i should try this out. so i go and get changed into my work out gear which consists of spandex pants and my sports bra (so sexy!) and i'm getting pumped at the prospect of getting lean and mean by doing this pilates work out and visions of me in my new "fit" state prancing around in a bikini flash thru my head as i pop the video tape in and press play ~ and oh look at all these beautiful fit people i'll look just like them!

and then were really going at it, like full force umm where was the warm up? did i miss something?

lunges and sqauts and stretches, oh my!

and the main girl is really quite irritating and kept saying stuff like "if you want to kick it up a notch" and "keep going" and "four more", i really wanted to punch this bitch in the head. i'm panting and really starting to sweat when she's like it's time to move on to the "abs" so let's sit on the floor (oh thank god i really don't think i could do another squat) and i'm so greatful to just be on the floor and having no clue what i was in for next i was sort of giddy at the moment (must've been the happy endorfins kicking in)

i can't really explain what happend next besides the fact that they had me laying on the floor, with one leg stretched out in front of me about an inch off the floor and the other leg being held by the hamstring as close to my head as feesably possible (which wasn't that close) and then they started what they call the "scissor" where you rotate from leg to leg (without bending) and again as close to your head as possible. some of these girls were touching there legs to there head! imagine. well i wasn't, i did well to just get the damn leg halfway there and omg the burn, the BURN and the PAIN! i had to stop as i felt fer sure i was going to vomit and i was so sweaty i had stuck to my laminite flooring, i had to grab onto one of my german shepards to pull myself off the floor as i was spent and those stupid ass bitches are still going at it! i quickly grabbed the remote and turned that evil, EVIL specimen off.

so much for that

as promised

here are a few (the best) pics from my recent trip to T. Dot (aka Toronto)

these first few ones are from the beautiful Toronto Zoo


you know i just can never resist getting on these sort of things.......i believe this one is a rhino, and i'm sporting some sexy sweet ass hair that was soaked with sweat as it was like well over 30+ degrees out

my favorite animal and the king of the jungle the lions (and my zodiac sign) truly stunning and magnificent

thought this one was so cute! a mama gorilla and her baby which jumped on her back as they went into there feeding area

on the day that we were there the hippo was about the only animal that was awake and putting on a show he was really splashing and thrashing around and i got this fab shot of him with his mouth wide open

me posing in front of the much music satilite dish. they had all these barricades up for the MMVA's that were on later that night

and then the gates of heaven opened up and there was.....

Sephora

the bestest, greatest, fantastic store of all. it was like a candy store (only it's makeup) for grown up women only times that by 20. i was speechless and didn't know where to start in here and ended up restraining myself pretty well and only walking away with some Frederick Fekki hair glossing cream and some Hollywood Glow which i still think came to over $60 but like that matters!! so giddy and had such a rush afterwords.

if only i could do that every day

mabye it's a good thing i can't....anyways hope you enjoyed the pics and i hope your all having a fabulous long weekend (mines about over and i'm back to work tomorrow. boo!) but that's how she goes

check ya later!