i had the wurst, WURST possible thing happen to me this afternoon
so most of you know from a previous post from awhile back that i can hold my pee for a long time which usually means that i avoid having to go to the dreaded public washroom, and oh how i hate to, no, better yet i should say i despise to use them but today on my way to my weekly allergy shot at my dr.'s office which just so happens to reside in an out-of-date building that is older than, well you get my drift and as i'm walking in to my appointment it hits me
gotta pee ~ gotta go right now ~ gotta pee pee ~ omg i have to pee like right now!
my bladder is screaming at me for release and i know, oh yes i know that i'm going to have to cave and give in to my urge to urinate as much as i hate to use there itsy bitsy teeny tiny "public" washroom just outside of my dr's office which by the way everyone can here you in there doing your "business", which just makes it every so much more horrifying. i'm in luck though as it's only shelley (admin) and some other lady who looks really nice (thankfully no kids, dirty people, or seniors) so i quickly go in shut the door (failing to notice that the door knob is hanging every so crookedly) and
instant relief and i couldn't care less if the pope or the president heard me at this point
so i finish up, wash my hands, primp in the mirror and go to turn the knob to leave, only, hmm that's odd it won't open, i twist and i turn and i pull and nothing, NOTHING and i'm telling myself not to panic and remain calm when in fact i am doing none of the sort and there's this damn annoying fan going and i can't hear anything outside and i'm very near pounding down this piece of shit door when i faintly here shelley on the other side saying something and i'm like what? "i can't hear you", honestly this is like a scene from some t.v. show and i'm sure this would only ever, EVER possibly happen to me. visions of me spending the rest of the afternoon trapped in this godforsaken smelley, stinky ass bathroom flash thru my brain and my panic again rises another level, i'm twisting and turning when at the same time shelley is from the other side of the door, obivioisily we aren't getting anywhere's here
i then suddenly realize what i have to do, and oh boy i don't want to
i calmly stated to shelley to turn off the light, thus putting me into total darkness. and again those of you that know me know that i am terrified, no i should say scared to death of the dark but it's the only way i can hear for her to instruct me on what to do to get me outta this goddamn death trap!
and then i'm in the dark
trying oh so hard not to cry, laugh and scream at the same time
this was the longest 5 fucking minutes of my life i swear but praise baby jesus i got out, without them having to go and get the maintaince guy and thankfully it's still just shelley and this really nice women who made light of it all when really all i wanted to do was curl up in the fetal position and cry myself to sleep
i am so never, EVER going into a public washroom like that ever, ever again
i think that's my lesson learned for the day