Tuesday, July 25, 2006

must not eat...must not eat

no i haven't become a zombie, well i sort of feel like one....but that's besides the point, this has become my one and only mantra as i sort of started a diet yesterday, sort of, and rule # 1 of my said diet is to not eat after 7PM which i am only 3minutes away from and i don't think i can consume an entire bag of popcorn in less than 2 minutes (well actually i probably could but i'm so not going there), so here i am sitting at home trying to tell myself that i am not hungry when in fact i'm STARVING and all i can think about is my one and only lonesome bag of popcorn that is silently calling to me from my pantry.

ok wait

must think of reasons to not eat, umm

i have to at least lose 5 pounds before my cousins wedding in august
i'm tired of my fat rolll and having to suck it in all the bloody time
i think i now have a double chin
and my arms are freaking huge

so yeah that's somewhat better but i still want that damn bag of popcorn

dammit i thought that would help ~ well guess i'll resume the mantra

must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat have to lose 15 pounds must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat
god am i still typing must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat but it's only popcorn must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat ok i'm stopping now must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat must not eat no really i am

UPDATE

so i totally caved and ate the bag of popcorn, i just had to i mean come on Big Brother All Stars was on and i just had to have something to celebrate that fact.....right......??..dammit that's another diet down the shit hole

10 comments:

Nancy Drew said...

popcorn has a loud voice. How about consuming carrot with lots of water so that the popcorn can't fit in?

Sadie Lou said...

my mom and I are starting a diet in August. I have to lose my tummy roll before I go on our 10 year anniversary trip to Puerto Vallarta.
We're just gonna do Slim Fast and Healthy Choice meals...

mcBlogger said...

It's just the way it is...if you set a time where you should not be eating, guaranteed, you'll be starving at exactly that time. If it makes you feel any better, I once ate an entire coconut cream pie by myself on a dare. Checked the ingredients list after, it said 100% edible oil by-products. Gross!

flea said...

nd - you got that right! i am so no longer buying this stuff

saide lou - hmmm may check out these suggestions

mcblogger - ugh! why can't dieting be easy? time limits suck ass, better yet dieting sucks ass

Barry said...

OK, if you have ALL the faults you listed... 5 lbs wont make a dent, unless you are like 4 feet tall

Laurie said...

Diets suck.

Nancy Drew said...

Flea, and here I am blogging to escape the call of popcorn...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Wandering Coyote said...

Don't be too hard on yourself, Flea; tomorrow's another day. I suggest you remove all temptations from your house, though.

Jenni said...

If there is one thing I've learned it's to NEVER diet. Eat when you are hungry and use common sense...portion control is where it's at...and exercise.

Eat organic and STAY AWAY from anything processed or that contains preservatives...these things just make you EVEN MORE HUNGRY!

Also, you cannot healthfully loose weight on just diet alone...YOU MUST EXERCISE.

It will make you feel GREAT and it will curb your cravings that much more.

Trust me!

flea said...

i thank everyone for their, shall we say words of encouragement/words of wisdom, i know all of these yet i cannot enforce them in my life

i think the next step is hypnosis....can anyone hook me up or refer me??