how you meet somebody or more so "know" of them and then they continue to pop up randomly over the years, and you think oh yeah i knew her back in _____ and _______ and you just continue on your merry way, and then the next time you hear of this said person it's not good news at all
in fact it's terrible news
finding out that this person, who i've known of but never actually knew has been killed in a car accident is a low blow. i'm not sure why. what made her have such a lasting impression on me, i know i was severely jealous and envious of her as she was super cute, skinny and she seemed to have everything, but i never knew her (if i had known her i would've known that she was battling cancer that first time i met her and that in fact she didn't have everything) and i'm sure she never remembered me. so why would it effect me so, i mean sure it's really sad and devastating as she had 3 kids and was only 33 i mean 33!! like that's just wrong to die so young with so much ahead of you, and i mean it could happen to anyone, anytime any place, but i keep coming back as to why it's really upsetting me and i keep coming back to nothing
i personally believe that everything happens for a purpose and or reason, or that it's all mapped out and were on the moving track doing what we are "ment" to do. perhaps she was ment to keep popping up in my life over the years, was it coincidence that she just so happended to have worked with my cousin, was it coincidence that we voulenteered our time at a local charity/auction one night, or that she used to go to my hairdresser???
just plain weird and funny but not like haha funny
i've been doing the same thing that i did when a close friend of mine was killed at such a young age, i imagine myself waking up in the morning, dreading my day, looking forward to watching Ugly Betty or whatever and just doing my typical mundane things that i do every day, not knowing that it's my last day, not knowing i won't see my loved ones again. i often wonder what goes thru there minds in that last instant, what did they see/feel? did they know they were going to die? i think this is what haunts me most. i never used to be scared of death but as i'm getting older, the realization sinks in that we are not imortal, we aren't here forever and we should savor the time we are here
lame but true
stay safe ~ peace out :P