going CRAZY

you know i have often heard people say that if a person thinks they are going crazy then they are not crazy but i beg to differ.

i think i have reached the tip of my ice berg.

i'm bored out of my mind at work and at home. all we've been doing is watching t.v. (which i love) but it's getting kinda mundane. the job is non challenging and all i do is answer the phone and some filing which puts me to sleep. i've asked a few pps for some stuff to do and nothing!!! give me something, ANYTHING. i need more!!! so i'm left to either a)chatting on msn (which they are ok with) or b) serfing the net (not so sure they are ok with) but what else am i to do stare at the walls?

constantly restless but have no energy to do anything about it. remember my walk from yesterday. ha!!! so did not move off the couch just like i said i wouldn't but i could not get off my ass and out the door even though part of me wanted too.....

i talk to myself and will laugh at myself if i do something stupid. most times it's while i'm driving in my car. like when i happen to run up over a curb or cut someone off. yeah nothing but good times with me and my alter ego.

i'm paranoid about everything like work (don't make enough money, nobody tells me anything, nobody trained me, what am i supposed to be doing), life at home (hubby not really talking lately), money (never enough) you name it i think that there's a hidden agenda or something wrong.

sleep deprived yet i'm always tired

will cry over nothing or anything that sets me off and then i cannot stop and i will laugh at myself for crying over nothing. ha ha ha look at you cry baby! then i just cry some more............

i think i need anti depressants or some kind of drug, i'm in for a long winter