Tuesday, February 15, 2005

It's a NEW day

ok, i'm feelin somewhat better today.

Wen't home last night and blatted my eyes out, had to get it all out of my system so I won't end up doing it here at the office. Didn't really acheive anything by doing it but I am feeling better today. I'm staying positive and I keep telling myself that everything will be ok and it will all work out. It's just very frustrating though as I just went through all of this shit two years ago at my previous position. Funny how things work out for me.

I've been on-line searching for jobs, hoping to do up some resumes today and start getting them out. I have Friday and Monday off coming up and mabye I will take one of those days just to hand out resumes, not all that fun but it needs to be done. Cross your fingers and wish me luck :0)

Called into my Dr.'s office to see if I can get 3 months worth of birth control pills while I still have my blue cross coverage. Shouldn't be a problem so that's one less worry that I won't have to think about. Also got suckered into booking yet another lovely yearly exam that all women have to suffer through scheduled for Thrusday morning ~great~

Which now leaves more space in the old brain dept for me to worry about financial woes. Hubby couldn't really care, he's so laid back and takes everything in stride. He's all like that's what our line of credit is there for and hell no!! Dammit we don't need to put ourselves into further debt ~ oh fuck I really can't handle this shit. I'm sure a mental breakdown is in the near future for me.

Finally heard from my sissy who lectured me for not calling her either ~ regardless I was soooo glad to hear from here and I got her new phone number and called her last night in my desperation. She always calms me down and cheers me up ~ thanks sissy~

I'm having serious anxiety and stress and today I am even noticing that I have chest pain and my throat is kinda sore. Mabye i am slowly dying like I stated in a previous post that or i am just coming down with the cold that has been running rampant through the office

i'm not really looking forward to my vacation days any more, which is surprzing as two weeks ago I was just itching for a break. Weird

I'm super duper hungry and my lunch that I brought today sucks ass, chances are high that I will end up either eating out or raiding the grocery store when I am there to pick up bread and some dog food.

Time to put on my happy face and go back to pretending that eveything is ok. Only you and I know the real truth.

I'm out

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