Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Raising "boys"

no I am not a mother nor do I plan to be any time in the near future but I don't really have anything to say today and I really like this joke that a good friend of mine just sent me so onto my blogger page it goes. Hope you enjoy!

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas . . .

THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY BOYS (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot
house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to
rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
It is strong enough, however if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls
of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's
already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a
4-year old boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still
can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. (Brandon has already
tried this with a Co-op grocery bag)

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
like ovens. (Pat did this)

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX (my home town) has a 5-minute
response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake

25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

You know it will be just my luck to end up having 2 boys someday and then if i'm crazy (and i'm sure I will be) will try our luck for a third child wishing for a girl and it will be yet another boy. And they will all be little terrors and i'm sure I will have a daily occurance of the incidents mentioned above. Let's hope and pray that this never, EVER happens okay.

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