I blame this entirely apon my parents who I love dearly and who would do anything for me. You see not only was I the "BABY" but my mother is a Registered Nurse and my father used to work for St.Anne Nackawic (kind like Homer Simpson's power plant but with trees and forestry stuff)until the stupid mofo's decided to shut it down and declare bankruptcy a story for another day perhaps.
So we were a farily well off family considering where we live and I had a great childhood and I always got what I wanted for Christmas and then some. My parents generation didn't have it that well off and I always felt like that because they never got a lot for presents that they decided to go all out for us. No i'm not complaining but now because of all that stuff I used to get I expect the same from my husband. I usually get pretty much anything I want and I always get my way (or at least I try) but this year things are different, my father is un-employed because of the stupid mill and my parents have cut way back and I don't expect them to get me anything but yet they did only one little present but it's still a present. My husband was also contracted through this mill so we have been struggling financialy as well, and on top of that were new homeowners and we have a pretty good sized mortage that we have to pay on. If my husband would have had his way we would have bought some little cheap house and just kinda work away at it by eventually adding on a piece, etc. But no I wanted a brand new home, with everything that I could want or need in it so that we wouldn't have to do anything later. So this ended up costing us more but do you think I cared.....ummm no.
My latest arguement with my husband is that I want to a year from now go away on a trip to either the Domican Republic or somewhere's warm. We never did have an offical honeymoon and I have threatened him that I will not have any children until I get to go away on a trip. My theory on this is that if we don't go now we never will. I want to travel and do things and he is a homebody who is content to stay in New Brunswick. Well that's not good enough for me, sorry!
Is it wrong of me to think this way?? Sometimes I wonder, I do try to see everything from every prespective but over all i'm a very selfish person and I tend to only think of and care about myself. I cannot imgine having a child right now and putting them first above me. I like to be able to go shopping and if I see a pair of shoes or a purse I can buy it and not think twice about it. I like to have new things, nice things and yeah it's all about me right now and i'm enjoying it. Someday when I am ready to stop thinking of myself or if i'm feeling the baby urge then yeah i'll get over this and be a good parent but until then i'm just going to continue on and be a spoiled selfish bitch!! :)
Enough about that ~ Today is my last day of work until next Tuesday so i'm sending out my Holiday Wishes to everyone out there espically all of my family members who come and visit here. Take care all and Merry Christmas!!! Eat lot's and lot's of turkey and be sure to have at least one or two drinks of eggnog. I'll be thinking of you and i'll see you all next Tuesday when i'm back here to post about my Christmas expreience.
Until then ~h~