just cuz

i believe i have the "christmas blues"....

i have nothing really to write or talk about...

i'm bored and sitting home on a saturday night in my pj's when i should be out celebrating my bestest cousin in the whole wide world's birthday... (happy birthday jilly! luv you!)

were broke, lazy and somewhat hesitant to go outside and drive 30 minutes to come and visit you as it did storm today and the roads are probably bad...

i'm farting like a man (or animal) from eating too much candy...

i still haven't taken down my christmas tree and i never leave it up this long

i have a mountain of laundry to do and i just can't seem to muster the energy to tackle it, so it just keep growing

i think i am finally getting over this stupid cold, finally

there isn't a godamn thing on t.v. lately, is it from the holiday or the writers strike??

as of monday i am going offically on a diet/exercise binge, wonder how long i'll last this time

i wonder if i can be hyponotized to not eat certain foods (ie. french fries)

well i'll think i'll go back to my romance novel now

peace out

Happy New Year if i'm not back in a few

it's HERE!

miz flea flea is wishing EVERYONE

a

VERY


MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

and now she is going to go open her presents, eat lots and lots of food, and have a very long nap and hopefully sleep away this gosh darn cold that won't let up one bit. ah well, hope everyone else has a super fantastic day!!!!

sickly flea flea

just when you think you have the christmas rush beat, i get sick. and i'm down for the count. only 1 more day of work left to battle through (and trust me it's a battle). i'm tired, weak, full of snot and the wurst of all is the sore throat. god i hate sore throats!

so becuz i'm weak, tired and most of all lazy

i leave you with this humours pic of me from last weekends drunkness-escapade

Enjoy

too many things to do...and i have no clue where to begin...

ugh

how i hate, hate all the hustle and bustle as everyone is frantically running around doing "this" and "that" as they finish up any last minute shopping or purchasing food for the holidays. nothing but a headache for me and sends my anxiety sky high.

for example

while stopping at 2 stores today on my lunch hour (1 store being evil Wal-Mart) i encountered crowded isles, screaming kids (why aren't they in school?), painfully slow old people (i'm sorry but it's so true!) and the oh so fun long lineup at the cash register, where nobody can figure out where they should be standing, oh and having a kid kick my cart and laugh about it and then continue to do it while the mom stood right there and watched...

sigh

thankfully i went into the stores with a mission, got what I wanted and got out. now I just need to check and make sure i'm not missing anything and get groceries either tomorrow or the day after, which I am dreading even more so than what I went through today.

on an uplifting note, this time next week it will all (almost) be over!

god i'm such a grinch

hope all is well with everyone else

i'm an idiot but then again i knew that...

who goes oh let's say for example 3 months without getting their beat up piece of shit car inspected...

ahem

silence

sadly, that's my hand you see ever so slowly going up in the air

what is even more sad is that I didn't even notice this the hubs and our local mechanic (doing yet more repairs so I can get thru the winter before buying a newer car...grrr), so not only do i have to bow my head in shame but i have to have the hubs point this out and rub it in (like any husband is bound to do)

like honestly, i thought i had this done already, and even so 3 months!

god i know my life has been somewhat of a black hole the last few months but this so didn't even cross my mind. scary.

sigh

so that's another $230 down the drain and my car may quite possibly not even pass inspection when and if I ever get this done (hopefully this weekend)

get ready for a rant people cuz their is a big one coming

so not only do i have to drop down car repairs in the month that we are quite possibly the poorest ever. but we need to do the following (in no particular order)

purchase a new wood stove - $600 +
get the new pup fixed - $80-100
purchase a new satellite receiver as ours has been defective now since summer (yes I procrastinate) - $100-150 more than likely this will be our or mine christmas gift as it's really the only thing I want
order more of my allergy vaccine - $120 and I don't have health coverage right now which SUCKS
get the car inspected (hahaha) - $50 ? god only knows what they will find

and i'm sure there are more but frankly seeing it all written out really isn't helping matters, in fact I think i'm hyper ventaliting.

i think i might throw up

i'm out

Friday Free Play

yet another friday, and what better to do than review my latest fav music pics in a group of 5 (haven't done one of these in ages, so why not?)

anyways, hope everyone is having a super fantastic friday

only 18 more days til Christmas - part of me is giddy when i say that and the other part is groaning...

back to the music

Friday Five:

J. Holiday - Bed (music/video playing in the sidebar)

Alicia Keys - No one (love this!)

Kanye West featuring T-Pain - Good life (luv this too!!! so sad about his mommy too...)

One Republic featuring Timberland (freaking genius) - Apologize (getting a little sick of this but still like)

and lastly

Linkin Park - Bleed it out (my anger song, it totally rocks)

peace out :P

it's beginning to look a lot like...

SNOW

and plenty of it

were being hit HARD by a major storm. i'd take a pic but i'm too lazy

one can only hope that tomorrow will be a snow day, but alas because I want it to be it won't

miz flea flea so didn't want to go to work today, had a brutal painful headache last night and didn't get any sleep. so tired and sort of sick to my stomach. wanted nothing more than to be home in bed and now that i'm home and it's going on 10:00 at night here i sit at the computer yet again. weird. and what up with that

but my mind is restless and i know sleep is not soon inevitable.

sigh

i so haven't done anything to get prepared for (dun dun dun) Christmas, god sometimes i hate that word but it always brings tingly, happy feelings with it. and this being our first major snow storm and seeing snow on the ground one can't help but get that fuzzy feeling inside. perhaps will actually have snow this year for Christmas (the last 3-4 we haven't had any), might be kind of nice. just not fun driving in it

anyways that's really all i got, not much but at least i'm posting and trying to get this blogger thing rolling again, i've been somewhat neglectful (again) mabye i should hire some new pps?

peace the spork out

sleepy or grumpy...or both

so i've been majorly tired for the past few weeks, can't seem to sleep when i want to which thus makes me grumpy. so i guess i'm both dwarves from snow white.

can anyone else remember the names of the rest of them?

cuz i only remember these two & sneezy or is there a sneezy?

and am i the only grownup that wants to watch the new disney flick "enchanted"? for some reason i really want to see this movie....

so due to my severe tiredness i haven't been doing much. i pretty much just lounge ALL day on my days off and then head back to the grind of the workforce on monday, even more tired than i was on friday.

well i due manage to take the dogs for a walk but that's about it

pretty boring life i must say but that's all i got for now (i just got really tired again....think i may go have a nap)

peace out

gone and done it now

like an idiot that i am, i succumed to the now "infamous" video online 2 girls 1 cup.

2 days ago i'd never heard tell of this website and frankly i wished that i had never googled the damn thing in the 1st place. and i'm not really sure why i'm venting this here as the last thing i want is for other people to be as traumatized as i still am. but i'm getting ahead of myself. like all good stories it needs a beginning....

so i'm doing my random checks on the blogs i like to frequent and while visiting Mo's site it leads me to watch a video of a man watching yet another video that we can't see and he's gagging/vomiting what not. frankly i wasn't amused but yet i still watched and just had to investigate further (which is so like me), come to find out that the said video in question is quite poplar on youtube of people watching it and gagging and what not by now my curiosity is peaked, what the hell is this video and it cannot possibly be that disgusting.

hahaha oh man what a fool i am i soooo should've known better

anyways

so i do more research

and lo and behold i find the website (which i'm not sharing as i do not recommend anyone to watch this EVER! but if you are like me you are bound to find it anyways...just be forewarned)

i watch it once, and honestly i thought to myself ok eww, and somehow convinced myself it was like watching a fake movie. i wasn't that repulsed.

then i watch it again (like a dumbass) and now i'm gagging, omg did she just do what i think she just did and *insert vomiting sounds here several in fact*

then i go out to the hubs violated beyond words and made him come and watch it cuz i just couldn't believe my eyes. i couldn't even get through the last time and now i cannot get this freaking video out of my head and i want to gag/vomit every time i think of it

like how the hell could anyone, ANYONE eat poo, and then vomit on the poo and eat it too

i don't care how high you are on crack you would never, EVER do anything like that if you were in your right mind

*shudders*

not only is that bad enough but to then tape it, and sadly have people like me sit and watch it and now talk about it on their blog.

what a sad sad world we live in today

i think i may go huddle under my bed covers and never come out again

while the boy is away...a girl must play!! mwhaaa

ok, that's a bit much

but i'm FREE

totally alone

just me and the dogs.....

and the cat...

ok mabye not entirely alone but you get my drift

it's the hubs "annual end of the hunting season drunk fest weekend" that he attends every year, with the same friends at the same stupid camp...blah blah...tradition....whatever

i used to hate/dread these weekends

now however i somewhat look forward to them

becuz

i can do whatever i want (not like i don't usually but you know) just stupid stuff

like eating cookie dough that i had stashed away, until my belly hurts and i want to vomit....but it was soooo yummy!

watching all the t.v. shows THAT I WANT TO WATCH....no stupid survivor, or the discovery channel!!!!

sit in my "fat" jogging pants with paint on them, no makeup, hair not done, etc, etc

perhaps lay in bed ALL day on saturday

or

go shopping and spend money i don't have

or crank up the christmas tunes and decorate the house....mabye not, cuz i'm not THAT ambitious

either way the possibilities are endless

i'm almost so excited i could squeal like a wee little pig

ok

mabye not like a pig.....

HEE!! i'm free!!

blurb it's

I'M BACK!!

man what a long, rough go the last four weeks, but it's OVER and the bestest part is I have officially worked my last day at the evil call center and I start yet another new job tomorrow. here's to hoping that 3rd time is the charm and that i can finally get back to a somewhat normal life as i won't have to work anymore weekends or have people yell and scream at me all day!

HEE!

it's my dad's b-day today!! happy birthday daddy!!!

you know i've been so busy/self evolved i hadn't even noticed that we are into November, my least favorite month. man where have the last few weeks gone? oh, right..we won't go there again...stupid call center

ok

what else is new?

not much really

i'm still poor/broke

still 20 pounds over weight

and i almost suffered from a mental breakdown...ok, mabye that's dramatic but yet not, cuz it was just that bad. truly, i wasn't happy and was in a very dark place the last few months, i hope this new job brings new change/light to my life. i feel so much better already just knowing that i don't have to go back there and sit and say mindless things over and over, and did i mention the people yelling/screaming at me.....sigh...i wonder if i can get hyponotized to forget it all.....

my new puppy, isn't really a puppy anymore. well he's only 6 months but man he is already as big as zoey and STILL growing. all he does is eat. he is going to be freakin huge. have to soon make his appointment to get his "boys" cut off. poor bastard.

still have yet to start christmas shopping, and dreading every second of it

and i had my 1st ever flat tire a couple weeks ago. so. not. cool. thankfully, the hubs was home and came to my rescue. could've been much worse.

anyways.....i must get to my housework it's been 4 weeks of the hubs doing some of the cleaning, so you can just imagine what my house looks like

i've missed all of you and can't wait to catch up

peace out :P

slave driver

sorry for the lack of posts (yet again), dear faithful reader but you will have to excuse miss flea flea as she has/is pulling some serious overtime hours at work and is working herself to the bone to make some extra $$

therefore, she may be absent from this site for awhile

we hope these 4 weeks of overtime go very quickly and painlessly and to have miss flea flea back to her normal regular self very soon

please check regularly for updates or posts as she will be back at some point

xoxo
miss flea flea's pps

i got nothin

so not much has really happend in my life since my last little rant

i'm still majorly confused, down and out and all that fun stuff

but

i did have a nice (although short) visit with my sis, which was nice

oh

and our super fun fantastic nite out making fools of ourselves with jilly and stephen (now those 2 are funny). lot's of memories, good food and drinks (cosmo's are my new fav)

it's sad to see the leaves changing and falling off

it's also sad that it is getting chilly/rainy and icky (november is so around the corner...shudder)
man i hate but yet still love fall

like the other day i was walking with the dogs and it was warm but yet still that fall air you know and the leaves were pretty and i felt good....and well now not so much

this is sooooo not my time of the year and it's very hard to be positive and upbeat but man i'm sure trying and staying in it

other than that i got nothing...no funny stories (well i prob could find 1 or 2 but have no energy to go there tonite..sorry)

anyways hope all is well with everyone else will catch up another time
as for now it's nite nite time :P

peace out

so what!

so what

if i work at a call centre
if i have to do a job that i don't really enjoy and have to repeat myself over and over..and over
if i get yelled at 20+ times a day from irrate customer's
if i feel like i'm back in jr high cuz i work with a bunch of young/immature pps

so what

if i'm not totally 100% happy
if i'm royally confused and lost and require major direction
if i don't reallly know who i am as a person
if i have no clue where i am going to be in 10 years

so what

if i have a slight (ok it's a big one) addiction to mcdonald's and probably require an intervention
if i am in debt up to my elbows
if i like to eat crackers plain
if i sit up half the nite listening to my thoughts race a mile a minute

so what

if i like to go shopping just to pick myself up (even though i'm flat broke)
if i have house flys (eww)
if my cooking isn't exactly the best, actually it's barely existant (can u say frozen dinners)
if i like to lay in bed all day on my day off

so what

if i'm already freaking out about Christmas shopping
if i'm a little bit of a control/clean freak (with some things..not all)
if i had a really bad interview experience and didn't get the job
if i have an old ratty beat up car that is on it's last leg, and is sort of embarassing to be seen in

it's my life, that's the way it is, now i just need to deal with it :P

blurb it's

yes, i know it i've been a bad blogger (i almost typed booger..hahaha..sigh), no new posts, no visits to my faithful (diminishing) readers...promise i'll try harder :)

so yet another moose season is apon us. for those of you that aren't involved in the "hunting" world i envy you. sadly my hubs is a "devoted" hunter, and yes they got their stupid moose. which now means 3 days of endless drinking for him. thankfully this only occurs once a year, and even more thankfully it all takes place at the camp and i don't have to deal with "the drunkeness" but i do hate being home alone...and it's dark...i hate the dark.....you get my drift

it's now offically fall. god i hate fall. yes it's pretty and the weather has been fab lately, but for some reason i always find i'm more depressed this time of year. perhaps it is due to the fact that my hubs big fat pay check will take a huge decrease any week now (seasonal worker), or the fact that ahem Christmas (shudders) is looming in the distance. ugh.

on a positive note though, my sissy is coming home next weekend for thanksgiving (yipee!!) haven't seen her since may, can't wait to spend time with her/see her

you know, i think i'm slowly loosing my mind. i have voices that talk to each other and well they sort of argue. like for example:

voice 1 "you know you should just hang in their with this job it's not that bad and the pay is good you get good bonus, and a chance to move up"...

voice 2 "yes, but wouldn't you rather be doing this"...or i dunno this isn't coming out how i planned...but they totally bicker back and forth and sometimes i can't go to sleep at night cuz they just won't shut the f@#*! up you know...

ok, forget what i just said

i totally jigged work yesterday

you know why? cuz i had no sleep the nite before cuz of the voices in my head! that and my damn dog would NOT stop farting all night long and as if farting wasn't bad enough. these things smelled so freakin bad like rotten nasty ass chili that has sat out for days bad. like eww. i so wanted to vomit ever time he did it. like what the hell did he eat?? seriously??

lordy, lordy

so lot's of new shows starting & the oldies are back (grey's!!!), haven't really gotten back into the full grove of t.v yet but i am liking a new show called Gossip Girl, very trendy & quite good (so far), other than that i haven't really took in any other new shows. oh, sure i've tried to watch the spin from grey's Private practice but that show just doesn't feel "right" or something...not liking it

you know i totally forgot to do a fashion run down from the emmy's!!

man i'm really out of it aren't i? mabye it's cuz i didn't watch?? meh

i think it's time for bed!!

peace out :P

tip of the tongue

confused
angry
bitter
resentful
tired..oh so tired
hungry (all the time)
anxious
stressed
crabby
frustrated
nervous wreck...

just to name a few, i sum it up best by referring to myself as a cracked plate/pot whatever, it can only go so long before it finally cracks and man i so feel like i'm getting near there. i was almost at this point a month ago whilst at the other job i hated, mind you i don't quite hate this one as much (yet) but i can't help thinking what the hell am i doing and this is sooo not for me. but what is exactly?

dunno

but that's what i'm itching/dying to know

i just know i want out of this job (yet again!), what's wrong with me? i just wish someone can fix things and find me the right job, which, by the way i have never found, sure i thought i was happy in a few i had but really i wasn't. so what's the answer? back to school? can't afford it, plain and simple & don't want a student loan coming out my ass forever, and ever...

guess i just have to put my big girl panties on and get over it, just don't know how

and sadly the only thing i enjoy lately is watching re-runs of the OC on much music...

~sigh~

nope, things aren't any better here

news flash

mizz flea flea's people would like to apologize for her recent absence here on her blog page.

we also wanted to inform you that she's

a)not dead
b)hasn't been institutionalized
c)been abducted by aliens

she would also like us to inform you that she's "going through some things" (whatever the hell that means were just quoting her) which may be a result of the following:

- being laid off/dismissed from yet another job (yup, that's right what a loser eh!) mind you she wants us to stress that she hated it with a passion and was truly relieved to be let go

- still dealing with repressed rage and hate for her former employer that kicked off this entire string of bad luck in the 1st place (we'd like to note that she needs to move on from this but for some reason she cannot let it go) and every time she sees their truck's/employees out and about this rage just resurfaces and makes her angry/depressed (crazy!! & she needs meds but i didn't say it...)

- having to cave and take a job that she could've took before she started the last job (which she hated, remember?) and have to work nights/weekends, and learn a whole lot of goobly gunk that hurts her poor little head

- dealing with a bad, bad little puppy that gets into everything and really tries her patience

- missing miss britney spear's horrific performance on the mva's (like hello!) this may actually have cheered her up a bit to see someone worse off than her

- being lazy and out of shape and having no mojo to do anything about it (we think she needs to stop going thru the mcdonald's drive thru....)

- and basically not knowing what she wants to do with her life in general. she wants us to stress that everything suxs ass right now and for you all to bear with her while she goes through this difficult time. hopefully she will snap out of her little pity party soon, were frankly quite tired of her negativity...but you didn't hear that from me......

sincerely,

mizz flea flea's conscience

HI!

I'm Riley, i'm only 3 months old but as you can tell i'm already quite a big dog (please don't make fun of my ears). i'm loving my new home and my new parents, they give me food and water and don't get too mad at me if i make a mess on the floor (i'm really trying not to). they have a great big yard for me to run and play in and i also now have a new best friend! she sometimes gets mad at me if i bug her too much, or if i try to eat her food, which mommy says i'm not supposed to do, but sometimes i can't help but be a little bad...

oh and did i mention they have cats? i've never seen one of them before! i love to chase them so, and they always run and hide from me and all i want to do is play. i hope they get used to me soon, all i want to do is play, i promise i won't hurt them.

all in all i think i'm going to like it here :)

gotta go chase my new friend!!

sick little flea flea

so on top of everything else, i get sick. i couldn't even enjoy the weekend as i started feeling crappy Saturday night while attending my uncles going away party (he's moving out west). it started with a scratchy throat (which i hate having a sore throat more than anything) and proceeded from there. i'm already exhausted, but with this cold i can't sleep (which i need) cuz i'm up all night either sneezing or tending to my leaky nose (so gross)

poor pitiful me

ok, enough of that

so i had my "testing" today. i think it went ok. i'm not going to jinx myself though and say i aced the test, as i'm sure i didn't but overall i have a pretty good feeling and lets keep our fingers crossed. i don't normally do well with tests but i kept a level head and just did my best and well that's all one can do really...

in other news, the pup is rapidly growing like a weed, he still chases the cats and has the odd mess or two on the floor, but he's a lot more comfortable now with us & in the home so that's good. seems like it's been more than 2 wks though since we got him but that's all it's been.

the weather has also improved, i think i might actually get back a little tan as it's "pool" weather all this week!!! can't wait to savor and enjoy it, if only this cold would let up...

anyways, i'm out! :P

for the love of...

honestly it just gets better and better for me, i think this has to be the wurst summer EVER

so i just got "laid off" from the stupid ass job that i've wanted to quit ALL summer

cha

i'm not sure if i should be sad, happy, mad, i'm a little bit of both. i mean i stuck it out that long and then for them to lay me off...sigh why can't i leave a job on my own terms for once? really though...

anyhoo, i will be able to get EI though so that's one bonus cuz there sure as hell isn't anything for jobs in my crappy province. although i do have an interview/test on monday for a gov't job, so please everyone pray for me monday morning!! would be so sweet if i could nail this test and get the job. fer real.

that's all i got, hopefully with my loads and loads of free time i'll be able to get some pics of the pup for ya's.

peace out, i need to get caught up on you all :P

i'm still kickin

man has it been a week?

geesh

honestly what a week, you know i think my hubby and i need a kick in the head cuz we so wen't and got a new puppy and OMG I SO FORGOT HOW MUCH WORK! fer real. he won't stop barking/crying all night long and the last 2 nights i've slept on the couch just so he'll actually sleep. and then on top of all that we have to train him to sit, pee/poop outside, stay, what "no" actually means, and just basically everything. oh and did i mention he's never seen a cat before? my poor baby kitty's are mortified and he will not stop chasing them. ok, if i ever, ever want a puppy again could someone please talk me out of it?

jebus

so i'm so sleep deprived it's not even funny

on the other hand though i do have some positive news on the job front. they hired another girl to take over my old route so i'll now be able to stay "local" and won't have to do near as much travelling, so i'm anxious to see if i'll like it better or not. hopefully i will.

other than that i got nothing, other than the fact that i'm so freakin disappointed in the weather it has cooled off dramatically and feels like (gasp) fall! so wrong. oh and kids are back to school next week in some area's. like honestly where did the summer go?

peace out, i'm on puppy duty :P

my b-day present to myself

so i finally, finally caved and had to purchase i.d bare minerals for my birthday (which was yesterday), i've been eying/wanting this product for ever, or at least since i saw the infomercial last summer...

and it arrived Today!!!

so, i just had to scrub off my makeup and try it, and holy freakin cow it's so easy! and i feel like i have no makeup on at all, and my skin is silky smooth already just after one use, this stuff is amazing!!!

isn't it amzing how 1 little thing can make a person happy?

*oh and i got free samples too!! god love sephora

: )

a tribute to Bandit

since i have been going through a lot of old photo's, and seeings how someone very wise told me to journal how i'm feeling through this whole process, i figured i'd post some pics of bandit, along with some stories and tid bits about his life and why he was so special.

up above, is a photo of him and my other shepard, Zoey, who is still with us, only here she's just a baby and they are fighting (more playing) over a stick

that was always one thing with bandit, he was never rough with her, only if and when she wen't near his food did he put her in her place. oh how they played and played pretty much until the last month they always would taunt, play and tease each other





















next up is a pic of the hubs with the dogs, while we were out snowshoeing on our property. we wen't on several adventures, the hubs more so than I really with the dogs. and man did they love to go!

bandit tidbits:

the hubs liked to call him "trigster" for a nickname, along with banditdog

he also always, always buried his dog bones that we bought them every year for Christmas

he would snap and eat a moosefly, bumblebee or hornet

he usually slept by my side of the bed (more so towards the end) and zoey always sleeps on the hubs side















here's another pic of him in his younger days, this was when we were renting a house with god awful fugly carpeting in a nice pea soup green. nice eh? we also get a nice view of my hand-me-down couch that we've since re-upholstered...oh and also how HUGE bandit's ears were. weren't they massive? hubs always used to joke and say "all the better to hear you with" from little red riding hood














another shot of the back porch of the house we rented. here i think he's saying would you quit it already with the camera and let me in already? again, i can't believe how young he looks here

bandit tidbit:

he was named after "Smokey and the Bandit", as they had a cat named smokey
















another snow shoe trip, i don't think i wen't on this one, or at least i don't remember it. i think he looks so pretty in this shot, and ready to jump or take off and go any second

bandit tidbit:

he looked forward to getting my left over cereal every morning as i never usually eat it all

he also had a fondness for mac & cheese

he dispised going to the vet, and he always knew when we were taking him

















and lastly this is quite possibly my fav pic ever of the dogs and us. i actually wanted more pics with the dogs but by the time we got around to getting them (semi) calmed down there was only the 1 pic left on the roll of film. and do you think we could get both of them to sit? hell no! but it's priceless how bandit is licking the hubs face and zoey is looking up at him (yes, they so love him more it's so obivious)

and finally the story of the 1st time i met bandit. u see the hubs and i weren't offically together yet, and my cousin jilly and I wanted to play a prank on the hubs. so one night we put together what we wanted to do (all i remember it was something with a rope?? no idea why, or what exactly for...), anyways we wanted to leave this rope in the hubs mailbox (he lived out on a country road), so off we go and it's just starting to get dusk out, so the sun is setting, we park the car on another road and walk up to his place thinking nobody to be home....well someone was home alright, this great big HUGE german shepard comes out and starts barking and chasing us and no sooner could i turn around and run then jilly comes flying past me like a bullet with that dog right on her heels. i burst out laughing, lose my shoe, get my shoe back on and run and catch us with miss speedy back at the car. had we known what a gentle giant he was, we would've known he would never have hurt us, still though we had a good laugh and scare and i didn't really become his "mommy" til about a year or so later.

i also hate to say that he was my favorite, but he sort of was. i love zoey to death in her own way but bandit was just special. a peaceful, caring, loving soul who loved us, protected us and was loyal to us. he loved both of us equally, where as zoey is solely devoted to the hubs, yeah sure she loves me a little but not like she loves him. stupid i know but i somewhat considered him my dog, even though i knew truly he wasn't. he will be truly missed and thought of every day. i just like to think of him up in heaven running along a woods trail of some sort just waiting for us to some day join him :)

from happy news, to sad news

well, you know from one high to another, there's no other way for me...

to the left is one of my dogs, bandit, who for the past month has slowly gotten lamer, thinner, and just plain uncomfortable. I've known for probably a few months that we would inevitably have to put him down but you know how you never want to face the fact and you keep thinking oh he'll get better or i don't know exactly what, denial i guess. and it's just so heartbreaking to see him this way as he is just not himself

well, sadly i think today is the day

i think the hubs finally realizes that he's just in too much pain and what's the point of keeping him here for our own selfish reasons....

so as i sit here typing frantically away, the grave is being dug and now i can't stop crying. words can't express my heartache or how much this dog has truly meant to me. from the 1st time i meet him, which is a funny story perhaps for another day to how he loves us so unconditionally. and on an even sadder note i think the other animals "know" or sense something as there all watching him or around him.

i just had to get some of these emotions out, sorry for dumping it on you all

*update - it's now offical my bandit has gone on to a better place. my house feels empty and quiet and i keep expecting to see or hear him, so weird

something positive for a change

a big CONGRATS goes out to my hubby's bestest friend Jamie & his girlfriend Krystal for delivering a healthy baby boy into the world this morning!!!!

so excited for you guys

can't wait to see him, this almost, ALMOST gives me baby thoughts/twinges....

NOT!!! ok mabye just a little.....

now that means i have to finish the present that i've only been working slowly at for months now. martha stewart i am not. so krystal if you are reading this, i'm still working on your baby quilt and I promise i'll try to get it finished soon. and i'm to lazy to take a pic and show you all, perhaps another day :P

peace out!

same old, same old

i got nothing new really, just thought i would report that i'm still alive.

it's still bloody hot, humid, sticky
my job still blows goats
still having no luck what-so-ever finding a new job
i can't believe tomorrow is the last day of July, where the hell did the summer go? and yes it's pretty much over once August hits..sorry but it's true
i've also yet to start my diet. boo! :( so lazy is me

and that's about all really. that and what a neglectful blogger i've been. shame, shame on me i must catch up and visit you all.

peace out :P

more ranting and whining

i'm tired
hot
cranky
achy
smelly, sweaty and greasy
sunburned
bloated
oh
and if i find one more bloody zit on any part of my body i'm going to scream!!
did i mention i'm extremely tired
i'm so going to bed now

peace out :P

magic lamp

so i am totally ripping this from beth over at 'blind as a bat" (check her out if you haven't, LOVE her!!), anyways it's a 3 wish type deal so here goes.....

1) to learn yoga/meditate, i know it's a lame wish but with all my inner turmoil of late I could really use some of this right now...better yet make that into me having a "personal trainer/yoga master" at my every beck and call

2) a shoe closet the size of half my house, ok no wait bigger! with every possible shoe imaginable, heels, boots, flip flops, sneakers, dressy, casual, you name it it would be in this closet

3) and lastly i would wish for my own tropical island, with a huge fantastic fabulous house, where i can run away too or live all year round as i've somehow come into money, or invented some object or thing that made me lots of money so i don't have to work. note that I did not wish for money even though i wanted too :P

where is everyone at?

so i've noticed that not so many pps are out and about writing in the blogging world lately (myself included), why is that? is blogger becoming a fading fad, what with facebook and other outlets. or is it simply because it's summertime and everyone is out enjoying life, warm weather and even cooler beer (or in my case a rum & coke)?

in other news, i seem to be going through something. i'm just so confused, emotional, depressed that i can hardly think straight. needless to say i need to do a lot of soul searching but can't/won't take the time to reflect. i'm cranky, tired, and could cry at the drop of a hat and i want to just pull the covers up over my head and make it all go away, but, alas we can't run from our probelms and until i get the guts up to face this head on, i'm not going to be a happy camper

other than that i've got nothing. i just wanted to write for the sake of blogging.

over and out, i need to make my rounds and visit ya'll :P

pooped out

ok, not "literally", like gross

i mean like tired, only i didn't want to write that cuz pooped just sounds better, ya know? ok, perhaps i'm weird whatev, anyways all this driving for work is tiring me the hell out, and my poor baby luv car that i've had for ever has HAS to be on it's last leg is somehow keeping up with it all (you just watch it will totally break down or something will happen now that i say that). i normally like to drive, i'm always the one that drives if and when we go somewhere together (hardly ever), but DAMN driving All day (well not exactly all day, i'm in and out and going from one stop to the next and driving 1 hr to get there...) is hard on a person, my back hurts, my feet hurt from walkin in heels (i refuse to wear ugly shoes) and it's HOT as hell cuz my air conditioner died like 4 years ago and i'm to cheap to fix it

and i'm still stressing about this freakin job, should i quit, should i stay

back and forth and back and forth

i'm already putting way to much pressure on myself and my anxiety level has to be sky high which is not a good thing for me mentally. i'm half wishing i would've took the summer off, drawn un-employment but no, i took the 1st job i was offered, and i so shouldn't do that the "what if's" but i do. i also wish another job would magically appear, like, now, but sadly there's limited jobs here. i need to quit this cuz i'm driving my self insane and probably making myself sick with worry in the process but you know how if you were addicted to crack and you wanted to quit it, it's something like that. ok. perhaps not that drastic but it's hard for me. i'm a worry wort through and through which has been passed down thru the generations and it's not going to go away over night

that's my rant for the night, i'm going to bed, taking my pooped ass to bed, say thank you

Friday Five

finally a post where i don't bitch, whine and complain....hahahaha ok so that's not really all that funny, and trust me i'm sure i'll be back to my regular whine all too soon

anyways, Happy Friday!!!

and seeings how i haven't done one of these in FOREVER! i'm way over due

5 fav songs of the moment:

Enrique Iglesias - Do you know (the ping pong song) LUV THIS!! & he's hot

Eve - Tambourine

Maroon 5 - Makes me wonder

and the last two i'm almost ashamed to admit i like, but i so do!!

Hilary Duff - Stranger (watch the video, the duffster is all grown up and working the belly dancin)

Good Charlotte - Dance floor anthem, oh god i can't believe i just admitted to liking Good Charlotte....what's the world coming too??

can somebody tell me...

why i'm such a push over?

why don't i like my new job?

why am i missing my old job?

why do i procrastinate so?

why do i hate getting groceries? or better yet..

why do i always pick the slowest freaking lane?

why do i have low self esteem?

why can't i be more positive, and not so negative?

why i've been such a neglectful blogger?

why i can't keep my hands off my face, hence, major zits and greasy face, but i still can't stop touching it!!??

why all of a sudden do i now mind the heat when i used to love it?

why do i constantly compare myself to others?

why is it we can never seem to get ahead?

why is there always a "project" or "repairs" that need to be done?

why do i get such brutal painful headaches that aren't quite a migraine but man they knock me down and out?

why can't i just be happy and content?

why can't i seem to get motivated and start that diet i was supposed to start months ago?

why can't we go back in time to re-do things?

why can't we have sunshine and lollipops everyday?

it's about moi

I am so wanting to pack up and get the "f" out of this job, feel like i'm in way over my head and have a gut feeling that i'm going to a)suck b)not make any money and c)both a & b. right about now my old desk job answering phones is looking pretty sweet, but i will stick with this for at least (hopefully) another month and go from there....

I am so lacking in the self confidence dept, hence my issues with above probably

I need to stop eating. period. better yet EXERCISE. but who the hell wants to do that when its so Freakin HOT! not that i'm complaining about the heat....

I am worried about my sissy, guess she's going thru a tough time, just want her to know that i luv her and that i'm here for her.....

I am LOVING the new season of "so you think u can dance", this show is off the CHAIN! and it's the only thing that i look forward to each week, if you love dancing (and a few hotties) you must check out this show. TRUST ME.

I am stressed out. job woes, possible purchase of a "newer" car i can't seem to relax, oh and having Zil for $$ is downright painful, i hopes i's is getting paid tomorrow.....

I am stoked however for the long weekend, and God Bless Canada Day!!!

I am pretty sure the devil made Ice Cream

I am also pretty sure nobody gives a damn that Paris Hilton is now out of jail....although i must care to mention it...weird.....

I think Paris Hilton is the devil

I would really like to win the lotto, would so be the answer to EVERYTHING, well ok mabye not but it would help

I never compalin about the heat, like Ever, but man it's BLOODY hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think it's wrong for car dealers to charge us more a)for a automatic and b)air condiontioning (bastards)

I hate having a cubicle

I just realized today that I have "phone fear", never thought I did but man i so don't want to make that 1st call....so i don't....

I'm stunned and shocked about Chris Benoit (WWE wrestler), although i never really liked him as he always seemed "off", it's still such a tragic story and my condolances to family and friends

I'm over and out :P

sometimes u just need to cry

oh the pressure of it all finally caught up with me today, i was on my own today (paper work wise and offically on Monday out and about), and i was feeling, well very overwhelmed and un-prepared. i actually half considered throwing my hands up and walking away from it all..and then i had my first actual call and the guy was to put it frankly "a major jerkassfucker", yup that's right all three, and i was so put on the spot and didn't have my #'s right and well i was made to feel really small and stupid. so then i cried. well not really, i held them back and then i sat there wanting to quit and thinking to myself "flea, what the hell are you doing?" honest to fuck. like 10-15 minutes later a co-worker happens to come by to ask me another question and i cracked.

but she was so sweet and understanding and helped me through it and i ended up getting the stupid jerkassfucker to place an ad.

i still feel like crying my eyes out though, whenever i start bawling i can't seem to stop. thankfully i tapered off enough to get me home and now i can't seem to snap out of this funk. must be hormones or something AND on top of that i want ice cream. thank jebus i don't have any here in the house.

in other news, hope to god i have a relaxing weekend i'm so wound up and stressed i don't think i can handle anything else. the only thing we have planned is a baby shower tomorrow afternoon. oh what fun, and man are baby things freakin expensive!! no wonder i keep pushing baby thoughts away.....

hope everyone else has a good one! i'm out :P

Dear Mr. Ronald McDonald:

First of all I have to commend you for building your little McHappy empire, bravo! However, I do seem to have a small little problem with your establishment. You see every time I drive by the Golden Arches or just so happen to be in the vicinity of one, I cannot seem to resit the lure to order a Quarter Pounder and fries (option #2 from the menu, sad that I know that I know isn't it?) with a Diet Coke, like that somehow makes it all "OK".

I realise that you are now "promoting" a new "healthy" menu but who the hell wants to order that after getting a whiff of those oh so yummy fries? umm, hello?! NOBODY! Exactly, my point. No I'm not suggesting you get rid of your fries, OK maybe possibly but we all need to live on the edge once and awhile...so perhaps maybe you should restrict some sort of rule or something like what they do for alcoholics, put up our pictures in every store like were on America's most wanted list and ban us from having more than one order of fries a week or something.....OK maybe that didn't come out exactly as i had planned...that's a bit much isn't it?

ummm..

In conclusion, I suggest that you Mr. Ronald McDonald should be forced to drink a Texas Mickey and be recorded on a web cam performing ludicrous acts so all the little children will become afraid of you and therefore no more McDonald's...

oh bloody hell, I'm just going to have to do this on my own. I HOPE YOU DIE!!!!!

sincerely,

Miss Flea Flea

getting into the grove again SUXS!

so the new job is going, along with my brain at a 100 miles an hour...

so much info to take it it's all a bit overwhelming, and it's funny how as soon as you walk across that parking lot and into a new office or job all your previous 1st days come back at you at once and it's like "oh yeah this is why i HATE starting a new job".

sweaty hands. check
fast heart rate. check
unable to ask questions/lack of speech. check
glazed eye look. check
massive headache. check
mentally exhausted. check

ok, it's not so bad, no wait it sort of is but then again being out of the work loop for a month probably doesn't really help, but i'm adjusting. i just hate not knowing when to "snack" or go the the washroom and becomming comfortable in my new washroom settings. i just thank god they don't have stalls, that is one bonus. oh and i have a cubicle, that's a new adjustment too, thankfully though it sounds like i'll be out of the office more than in, so that's another plus...

all in all it's a change and a start and hell it's only tuesday!

things are going to change!

GUESS WHAT!!!!!


i got a job

happy dance
happy dance

it's a whole new world (sales) and i'm scared shitless but i'm up for the challenge and change and better yet i start on Monday. i'm on a 3 month probation period and i get to go on a course and everything. i really feel like this is a new beginning.

thank you jeebus!!!

could i possibly be any duller?

god

my life is pretty much the following

eat

sleep

eat

eat

sleep

housework (very minimal)

eat

watch oprah

walk (sometimes not so often..)

and oh yeah eat some more

i've at least gained 5 pounds, well ok maybe that's exaggerating but i have gained my boobs are bigger, which the hubby pointed out much to his pleasure the other day, i on the other hand not so happy. not only have i been emotionally eating, i'm putting in bluntly by stating that i'm depressed. there it's out there. or i should say this whole situation has me depressed, either way i'm depressed, down in the dumps, moody, feeling sorry for myself, i can go on and on but i won't :P

so what does one do in this sort of peril? she has a girls nite out, that's what she does!! and i must say i had a really great time, lot's of laughs and it was nice to be social again, you can only take so much of being around your hubby and dogs ppl! so yeah, i'm feeling a little tincy tiny bit more positive today (despite the headache and pains). so yeah that's all i've got going on. sorry for the lack of posts but i haven't really got much of anything to blog about, no people to make fun of anymore, no rants about work.....ah well i'll post when i can. i do want to thank everyone for there positive comments it really helps me in the state of mind i'm in to have some encouragement. so yeah, thanks!

peace out

home

i'm back!!

while i had a nice week away, nothing compares to coming back home and having nice weather (finally!)

on the downside though, my hunt for my next job officially begins (boo)

so that's all i got....

hope all is well with everyone else

come with me were going to the treehouse...

not sure which childhood show that's from, but it's been going through my brain today...

so i'm off to visit my sissy tomorrow, flying by myself for the 1st time and i'm sort of terrified in a way...i'm pretty sure i'll be fine but still as you know most things being done for the 1st time is scary as you aren't quite sure what to expect. i just hope i don't get lost in the Montreal airport or that some french dude doesn't kidnap me and keep me locked up in his basement for months and all my family will think that i'm dead when i'm not....and yeah i have to much time on my hands lately.

i also can't seem to stop eating. mind you that's probably due to the fact that i'm an emotional eater and i did suffer from pms but i just can't stop. which makes me sort of glad that i didn't buy potato chips that i liked, or popcorn....i'm hoping this will go away while i'm visiting my sissy.

i've applied for 2 jobs, and heard nothing and i'm trying very hard to stay positive but things frankly seem sort of grim. i'm tired of being a "receptionist" and hate the thought of starting at the bottom again, so thoughts of going back to school are running through my head.....which technically really isn't possible as we have bills and so forth so i'm terribly confused and don't know where to start or begin. so i'm hoping my week away i can just relax and de-stress and enjoy time with my sissy.

the good news though is my car is now fixed and will hopefully run another few months

that's all i got

peace the spork out, i may or may not post while i'm away :0)

turn about

so umm you know how in my wishes post i wanted my employer to give me a raise and just say thanks.....well they said thanks alright, me and 2 other employees were laid off thursday morning and basically had to pack up our things after the "news" and get the heck out of there.

to say that i'm shocked, hurt, angry is an understatement. i feel like i've been sucker punched and stabbed in the back. mind you i'm not getting into all the details here and it's a long story and i'm trying (it's now 4 days later) very hard to not think about it, and to let it all go and start over but it's really, really hard. i'm so bitter and resentful and i just would like to know why, yeah they gave us a reason but i think it was a bullshit one. it's very hard to not take this sort of thing personally, and as i stated before i am an emotional person and of course i take it personally. i have also wondered or contemplated "conspiracy therories", like how long have they been planing this and it has been sort of different since i wen't on my trip....just things like that, that are slowing driving me insane...

but as of today

Done

it's a new start

whether i find another job or just go on un-employment and take the summer of, i don't care, it's in fate's/god's hands now and what will be will be

sorry i haven't kept up with everyone's comments and or blog's lately but i usally blog from work and it's hard to get in the habit of blogging at home, but i hope to catch up!

wishes

i wish that i weren't such an emotional person, who takes everything to heart and wears there heart on there sleeve...

i wish that i wouldn't stress and fret about the "little" things....

i wish that i could speak my mind without hesitating.....

i wish i could lose those extra 10 pounds that i've been wanting off for 2 years...

i wish that people wouldn't judge me....

i wish i had an endless supply of money....

i wish i didn't have to deal with car repairs...

i wish my employer would give me a raise and say that i do good work and that i'm appreciated..

i wish for a chocolate sundae to just magically appear...

i wish for a day with my grandmother again....

i wish i wouldn't always break out like a teenager everytime i have pms...

i wish i would know when to stop chewing my nails...

i wish i was at home right now outside in the sunshine instead of sitting here in the office...

i wish i had a magic genie that could grant me three wishes...

i wish i had a maid...

i wish i had a cook....

i wish i owned a plane so i could fly where ever i wanted...

i wish my sissy was here so i can hug her and talk to her...

i wish i didn't have heart burn right now from eating my lunch to damn fast....

i wish i could have an afternoon nap without anyone noticing...

i wish i had a college degree in something...

i wish i had a huge shoe collection w/it's own closet to display them...

i wish i could go shopping for clothes/shoes and all that fun stuff...

i wish i didn't love french fries so much...

i wish i could have a torrid love affair with Sawyer from LOST....

i wish that everyday could be like friday....

i wish i had the afternoon off to spend time with jilly, mom and Sharol...

i wish i could snap my fingers and have all these things

i'm a weak, weak person

well i've always known that, but you know how i wen't on a speel last week about not purchasing body wash or smelly products, umm yeah, i caved and bought new body wash today cuz i was in the drug store for my mom (whose sick, i know aren't i just the sweetest!!) anyways, and guess what, there before me was the dreaded isle that i cannot avoid, and oh my god they had shea butter stuff ON SALE!!! and i couldn't walk away, and then i smelled it and yeah, so forgive me fellow bloggers i have sinned....but i'll smell so YUMMY!

so not only was that bad enough but i totally gorged myself on mcdonald's, so i'm a major sinner today

but on the positive side of things i did refrain myself from placing an order on sephora the other day, so that's one thing right??

sigh

now i totally want to go back on sephora...must restrain thy self...

changing the topic now to try and divert myself, i have so many options as to what i can do this weekend it's been driving me crazy! i could A)go to a themed costume party with fellow co-workers, which i somewhat would like to go to (without the hubs of course!) or B)go on a ATV poker ralley with the hubs and other friends or C)not a GD thing, well except mabye some housework, i'm leaning more towards C but yet i keep thinking i'd like to do A or B....so frustrating and stressful!!

dammit i'm sighing again

anyways, peace the spork out and have a super fantstic weekend!!

hair therapy

thankfully i am getting some of this tonight, i'm in desperate need of a cut. ever since my trip my hair has been dry and sun damaged. i'm also looking forward to getting a new cut/style as i'm ready and due for a change.

why is it that men can't understand this? i mean i need my hair fix! it's a form of therapy for me, i gossip with my hairdresser (jackie who is the queen of hairdressers! love her!!!) and it's not like i go every month (although i could) i span it out to at least 12 wks between each visit, and yeah it's somewhat of a UN-necessary expense but i've tried to dye my own hair before and frankly it did not come out so well...and i'd rather not re-visit that....and honestly i just like to be pampered and have someone else do it for me. also, whatever she uses/does to my hair makes it amazingly soft and shiny and i hate to wash it for days as i don't want it to go away

so yeah i can't wait to have my hair done tonight and that's pretty much all i got going on right now, i'm disgusted with work and prefer not to talk about that as it just makes my blood pressure rise.....anywhoo happy Thursday!! :P

wig out

so ummm it just so happens that the hubs birthday is tomorrow, and well i didn't actually forget it or anything but yet i almost have sort of have

i have no cake...

no gift...

or card

nothing

and there is no way i'm doing it tonight after work cuz i've had a shitty ass day and am still hungover from partying it up on saturday night..

which means i'll have to get all this stuff tomorrow and then somehow act like i had it already planned, and i somehow doubt that all this will go smoothly as i seem to be somewhat accident prone or i have a case of what I call the "dropsee's"

it all started when that damn alarm wen't off and I did not want to wash my hair, thus, i now have a greasey pony tail. then what to wear, what to wear...jeans, definetely jeans....now a top....hmm this one's good, oh wait i need to cut out the tag...now you can just guess what happend? yup, cut a hole in my new shirt that i have yet to wear....fuck it i'm wearing it anyways....then it's breakfast (milk was spoiled but i used it anyways..), let the dogs in/out and i'm running late but so what....and the day has progressed from there...and oh yeah i forgot it's his Birthday tomorrow!!!!

must remain calm and have a plan, it will all be ok once i have a plan...

Friday Five

haven't done one of these in awhile so here they are:

Akon - Don't Matter (i call this my Jamaica song...)

Nelly - All Good Things (Come to an end)

Ne-Yo - Because of you

Sean Paul - Never Gonna be the same

Linkin Park - What I've Done

Happy Friday all!!

wednesday t.v. recap

quite the night for t.v last night and god knows i'm a t.v. crack whore!

1st up was LOST

*don't read if you haven't watched it yet!!!

some interesting things last night! seems like where finally getting somewhere with the story line, Sun's baby is Jin's and she's probably only got about 2 months to live, creepy guy with the eye patch is Alive, new girl claims that there plane was found with no survivors, and Juliet leaves a msg for Ben....quite a lot to take in.

I particulary enjoy Sun/Jin's backstories, wasn't it interesting that it was her that caused Jin to work for her father and that's what caused there marriage problems? it was also interesting to discover that the women blackmailing her was Jin's mom (i sort of suspected that), this show just keeps us guessing and i can't wait to see where there going with things

next up was American Idol Gives back

even though i'm not an American and I can't vote or donate to this cause I still wanted to watch and support the cause. I think it's great that this show did this, this is the most watched show and to broadcast this sort of thing to so many people is HUGE, so kudos to the pps who though of it and put it in motion. it's a harsh reality that a lot of people don't realize how many people are dying/starving and I'm sure they raised an insanely amount of money which will go to good use

2ndly - what the hell or where the hell were Pink and Gwen Stefani? they kept saying in the promo shows that they would be there and unless i am on crack or something i did not see them? i stayed and watched that for 2 hrs and they weren't there! so should have just gone to bed

jack black is freaking hilarious!

Ellen is freaking hilarious!

kelly clarkson was amazing in her performance but one could also not help but notice that she has god i hate to even say it "gained a little weight" which is perfectly fine and ok, but then to be in such a shoddy sack of a dress that enhances it 10X worse, not cool, i still love her though and can't wait for her new album

did not dig the celine/Elvis performance at all

the staying alive video was pretty cool with all the celebs in it

why couldn't they have just announced at the start that everyone was safe this week instead of dragging it out, that was time wasted in my opinion

also thought we were going to re-live the whole super bowl "nipple" scandal cuz Annie Lennox's boob could've popped out at any second while she was playing the piano, and i so wished she would've sang a different song than what she did

and that's about it

oh and i loved Bono at the end :P

scent-sational!

i have this ity bitty fetish with lotions/shampoo's/body wash which results in me having an over abundance of the aforementioned....

i currently have at least 8 shampoo's and conditioner's on the go, i have my Ojon (my fav), my John Frieda just for blonde's, my salon stuff (think it's Joico), and lastly my Alberto stuff that smells like flowers....

then there is also my body wash

luckily, I only have the one in my shower right now as I don't think i could squeeze anything else in....but it's almost gone :( ,which means i soon have to make a visit to Sephora or the dreaded local department store isle of hundreds apon hundreds of options. even if i went in knowing i only needed to purchase body wash i would totally come out with new shampoo and lotions too even though i currently have tons of these products (most of which are half full) it wouldn't matter! I'm like a kid in a candy store when it comes to this stuff, not sure why really either, but i always have to walk quickly thru these isles, chanting to myself that i will not cave, i will not cave!

so my new vow/goal to myself is to not purchase any new product until I've used every last bit of lotion that's half full, every last bit of body wash, every last bit of shampoo (that will be awhile). and by putting it here it just makes it legit/final, so there is no going back...

boo!

this is going to be hard

LOST

interesting show last night!!

what's your thoughts/feedback? i've yet to venture over into spoiler territory yet but i wanted to see what everyone made of it first...

who was the girl at the end? and didn't you totally think desmond was going to let charlie die!?

and am i the only one the loves sawyer and kate together??

I love this show!!!

??

why is it that after such a tragedy like in Virgina the news (in particular CNN) has to continuously flaunt and throw it in our faces? I know it was terrible, horrible, tragic but is it really necessary to talk about it 24/7 and to hound the poor family members and police force who are in shock? this honestly disgusts me...

why is it that they are questioning the gun laws and the individual who sold that crazy mofo his gun?? as if he knew the guy was a psycho....honestly?? wtf

why is it that everytime there are men that are drinking and at first having a grand ole time end up fist fighting with each other and causing a scene, thus runing it for everyone else? this is your classic bar fight scenario and honestly why?? can't everyone just have a good time without the fights? i hate the fights

why is it i can't drink/party it up like i used to without feeling like ass 2 days afterwords??

why is the weather being so difficult? I just want it to be spring already!

why is American Idol still so popular, better yet what is everyone's obession with Sanjaya? i wish they could just fast foward and it would be Melinda, Jordin and Blake in the final 3 instead of delaying the whole process

why are we still hearing about Baby Dannilyn? who cares!

why is it that we care more about celebs and there drama than global warming?

why is it that i can't seem to stop eating?

why do i chew and chew my nails even though there is nothing more to chew?

why can't i just get a break and win the lotto or something..?

why do i have to have serious crampage and bloatedness? can't someone invent something to take this away?

why can't i be back in Jamaica?

why is it that i have so many ideas yet not source of $$ to implement them?

why.why.why

un-freakin-believeable!

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20070415/ne_storm_070416/20070416?hub=Canada

i'm not even going to comment...

snow snow go AWAY!!

omg

somebody up there really, really hates my neck of the woods, honestly what is up with all this GD Snow!!!!!!! it is April isn't it? geesh. i feel like i've been sucked into a time warp and back to 2 months ago. this is just not right and should not be allowed!

my drive in this morning was insane and frighteningly scary, i actually probably could've called and said i wasn't coming in but i felt that i had to cuz i'm filling in a position where i just shouldn't do that cuz i have so much shit to look after/do. on the plus side though work bought us all lunch on them so that was pretty sweet, still though it's now crazy ass quiet and boring and i am not looking forward to going back outside into the snow and driving home in this shit...

anyways, i hope none of u all are affected by this and that everyone has a happy merry weekend and pray that the weather improves

~cheers~

having to actually "work" stinks!

you know i work full time, but not really "full" time, usually my days are pretty laid back, i do minimal work and pretty much surf and what not the rest of the time...

well the last few days have been insane!!!!!!! literally

i actually had to make a "to do" list, scary! even scarier it worked! i was at least some what more organized and not so chaotic today, and thankfully that evil phone was not anywhere near as busy as it was on monday. still though, i'm exhausted, i come home from work and i'm brain fried. so.tired. yet at the same time i'm lovin being busy, my day flies by i'm not snacking near as much in fact its hard to even remember oh it's time to eat now, the only downside is i'm so behind on all your blogs it's not even funny, i have no time! & i lost like a week while i was away and i miss u all! i'm having blogger withdrawl, but i just can't seem to find time and catch up with everyone...

oi

miz cranky pants

ok, first of all working Easter Monday suxs ASS

2ndly i hate covering off for pps while they are on vacation (sorry melissa i still luv you), it's more that i'm thrown into something that i cannot possibly seem to prepare or train for, we've tried several times to go over things and i always think it's ok, and well it's not, i want to pull my freakin hair out, honestly, and this is only day 1 of 6...

3rdly i'm tired, i know i was just on vacation but i'm freakin tired, like can hardly keep my eyes open tired

4thly i gained like 6 pounds over the weekend i swear, damn you Easter Bunny!

5thly i have a headache which i think has resulted in my talking on the phone all GD day, repeating the same damn thing like 100 times, i swear if it rings again i'm going to scream

sigh

i hate mondays

as promised

miz flea flea @ dinner one night

striking a pose

yeah i know the dates mucked up, my camera went all snakey on me...anyways, this is a pic of the cliff's @ Rick's Cafe, the water was Amazing here..

the sandy beach of Negril, man i wish i could've been here all week..

pretty mural in the lobby @ the hotel

sunset

me and my "bubba" mug, i highly recommend everyone have one of these if you go away

Rasta man sellin his "wares", this is my fav pic

view from mom & dad's room

miz jilly striking a pose (she does it much better than i)

and lastly me workin my cowboy hat (well at least tryin..)

back to reality....

dang it all to hell I'm back, and it's freezing, and to top that off it's snowing! god hates me i know it...

anyways

i had a super fantastic time, so did not want to come home (well OK maybe a little, i did miss the hubs and my pets..), i LOVE, LOVE love JAMAICA and there people. there so laid back and easy going i wish i could be more like that the first few days i was obsessed with Bob Marley music and now i cannot stand to listen to one song....

so in my typical fashion here's a break down of my trip (pics to follow), I'll start with the lows:

Lows

- 6 of us in a van packed full of our luggage (we way over packed, so stupid, will know better for next time) and only 1 hr or so on the road we break down...
- me sicker than a dog during drive to Halifax and the flight to Jamaica, i also probably spread the plague to everyone on the plane
- discovering that the resort we were staying at included kids
- the beach, very disappointing at our resort, very rocky w/seaweed not what i had imagined but still a beach nothing less
- the room was OK, i know you shouldn't expect much but other rooms had bugs and Mold, not nice, thankfully we didn't spend much time there and at least the sheets were clean and fresh everyday
- flip flopping on what to do for "excursions"
- not enough beach chairs, or better yet being pissed off at pps that marked there chairs with towels and then either a)not coming back or b)come back 4 hours later....should be 1st come 1st served, this really ticked me off
- upbraiding my hair, so should not have done this, i only did the front portion thinking i would like it and frankly i hated it and it only stayed in a day and a half, was not fun taking out the beads AT ALL, do not recommend anyone to do this
- Rick's Cafe, did. not.enjoy, way to many people for my liking, could've just been that i was over tired and cranky but i wasn't digging it
- bus ride from hell, on our return trip from Negril late at night, driving on the wrong side of the road (which is there right..) on windy, twisty roads, thought i was going to die, or puke and throw in some nasty, nasty reggae music which i have never heard of i wanted to punch someone in the face
- having to come home and having to wait at the Jamaica airport for an hour + in no air conditioning, i seriously thought i was melting, so freakin hot
- having to sit by a smelly, shady man on the way home who reaked of alcohol and smelled like stinky cigars, he totally was trying to make conversation and i just ignored him...

Highs

- Jamaica people!
- sunshine, and hot hot hot
- rum punch and lot's of it
- my discovery of Jamaica Delight's (pineapple juice, lime juice, apricot brandy and rum of course!) so YUMMY!
- our tubing excursion where we discovered that Harry Connick Junior was on our tour. seriously. Harry Connick Junior! 1st celeb siting for me, pretty cool i must say
- having a big sexy black man hit on me while on tubing excursion and having the whole crew of our tour guides call me beyonce, not sure why, but i loved it
- swinging from a rope and droping into the river
- purchasing goods from pps (aka Rasta men which is what i call them cuz i like it) out in the water
- our trip to Negril, the beach there is Amazing! wish i would've been there all week
- all the sexy black men, everywhere
- laying on the beach all day catching the "rays"
- the food, omg the food, was so good
- me loaning mom $2 and her winning like $15+ from a slot machine, too funny, coins were flying out everywhere
- the entertainment, most nights i didn't enjoy but 1 night it was just amazing, it was dancing and drums from Africa, unbelievable, i loved every second and didn't want it to end
- my cousin Pete's wedding was beautiful
- more rum drinks
- lot's of laughs